54f870 No.361119 [Last50 Posts]
Whelp, you done goofed now son. Waifus were being handed out but you overslept so all the first picks were taken, then the second picks, then the third picks. Now, all that's left are the waifus no one else wanted. Here's what you have to choose from.
french poodle wan- "Zis world is shit, but what else is new?"
+She's slender and prime to be petted.
+keen sense of fashion.
+Despite being very "progressive" she's kinky in bed.
- Smokes too many cigarettes so she has dog breath + cigarette flavor.
- Nihilistic. Kills any optimism you have and will continually put you down.
-she hates traditionalism, doesn't shave and doesn't want to be a mother.
American Rattlesnake thot- "Let me be your next mistake!"
+She's extra juicy but not too juicy. She'll keep you warm at night.
+Real American. Loves guns, Jesus, and freedom.
+She will scare away rival thots with her bedazzled rattle.
- Plastered with all manner of tramp stamps and assorted tattoos
-Has had multiple children out of wedlock. Wants kids with you as well.
-She tends to overdo it with alcohol. You'll need to hide the liquor from her.
Chinese siamese catgirl -"Ruv you wrong time."
+Has the charm of an older ara style woman.
+Hard working and very traditional. Good Waifu material.
+While slow to warm up to you, she'll never leave you once you have her heart.
-Can only speak broken English and Cantonese.
-Years of living in polluted China have left her with patchy fur and possible medical issues down the road.
-She's getting on up there in age. Fertility may be an issue for her if you want kiddos
African Zebra centaur -"Look at me! I am the waifu now!"
+ Young and strong. She's more than fit, she's buff. Easy on the eyes too.
+Physically active. She'll keep you moving in all kinds of ways.
+She'll kick the shit out of anyone who even looks at you wrong.
-Very aggressive. She will dominate your life in more ways than one.
-Won't let you ride her unless you can dominate her. Good luck with that.
-She has that darker skin. Not good for the mamono ethnostate.
European treant waifu- "Would you like some tea, love?"
+She's retains a youthful look despite being centuries old.
+Her leaves can make a tasty tea and she encourages you to sample her.
+has a big heart and is definitely a gud girl. Will love you until you die.
- Her skin is rough and bark like. Intimacy can be tricky and perhaps give you splinters.
-She can't move around quickly. She doesn't leave the house much.
-She'll end up outliving you. You're not her first love either.
If none of these waifus will do we can check into the red files as well. They were applicants that were denied for being too deadly to cohabitate with or failed to meet the baseline criteria for waifu co-housing set forward by our matching algorithm. I mean, it's just going to get worse from here.
____________________________
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884e83 No.361120
>>361119
>Too deadly
Show me the red files.
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24fc0c No.361121
>>361119
All of these sound fine except the rattlesnake thot, which wouldn’t happen to a mamono since they have a loyalty gene instead of a hypergamy gene, but I digress. Give me your deadliest and most negative baseline for cohabitation waifu. Don’t just give me a red file, give me THE red file. Give me the maximum security prison version of waifu. Give me the mg that makes a ushi oni look tame and a makes the mad hatter look sane. I’ll either die in a day or become an ascended being.
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49ec80 No.361122
>>361121
The french poodle wan makes no sense either since her raw amygdala is mutatedly small and she doesn't want to be a mother.
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7a15a3 No.361124
>rejected mamono thread
This seems like it would be a fun-
>first 2 are PD incarnate
Well gee, I didn't realize OP was a semi-faggot.
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54f870 No.361125
>>361121
>>361120
I mean, technically, you can live with them. You'll need to sign a safety and liability waiver of course. Furthermore, we need to emphasize that monstergirls within the Red File may have what our sociologists have termed as "radically caustic behavior" and a "tendency to instigate lethal violence". Subsequently, their own biology could be lethal as well. One, in particular, is a sentient ball of slime that emerged from the damaged Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant. She is certainly hot but not in the way you would typically think. We're pretty sure any prolonged contact with her will give you tumors.
But yes, if you all want to review the Red file we can open that up as well.
>>361124
>>361121
>>361122
We're not following MGE cannon to the T since MGE cannon is retarded anyway. Again, these weren't first picks for waifus. They weren't even the second or third. They were waifus no one else wanted.
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c8efa4 No.361126
Out of all the shitty options here, I would say the treant waifu is best, or rather, the least worst. I myself love sneks, but I don't want no used goods from the county whore.
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49ec80 No.361127
>>361126
I agree with this position too.
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5af0f1 No.361135
>>361124
Here's a couple of rejected Mamono
Shiba Wan Alp- Borking Faggot
+ She's a smol tan furred asian .
+ Keen sense of fashion.
+ She's very progressive and very traditionalist.
- Looks and smells like a fag so better get used to the cigarettes .
- Is still shy and will hide
- What a alp
Black Snek Alp- Alabama Blacksnake
+/- Very thicc
+ Loves you so much she'll wrap around you
+ She will scare away thots with her weave and ghetto rage.
- Looks like a nighound with a snaketail
- Was a gay nigger and not from outerspace
- Still likes malt 40 and menthol
Real Ara Faggot Catalp - Cheshires have no shit on this Alp
+ Has the charm of an older ara style woman.
+ Hard working and very traditional. Good Waifu material.
+ Loves you even though you do faggot things
- Can only speak English with a gay lisp
- Years of faggotry has taken toll
-Is a alp
Mrs Hands the Bicorn Centalp - What a horsefucker you are Anon
+ Young and feminine.
+ Physically active. She'll keep you moving in all kinds of ways.
+/- She'll snu snu you but would love other women for you to snu snu
- Very aggressive. about wanting to act like a dyke and wanting you to fuck other women
- Won't let you ride her unless you fucked others not your waifu
- She's a alp who's a cuck so that makes you double gay
Pine Trealp- Can't hide a Treebeard forever
+ She's retains a youthful look despite being a Christmas cake.
+ Pinecones from her can smell minty fresh but each time you smell it you can tell how much she was a pothead and a gay one at that.
+ Has a big heart and is definitely a gud girl. Will love you until you die.
- When you're being lewd with your waifu you'll be sticky.
- Was a lazy pothead before alping now is a lazy tree that you need to help get over the lazness
-She's a alp mate.
why no bird?
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43be1e No.361136
>>361135
>Bicorn centalp
At least then I can wait for all the monster daughterus to grow up so I can rob the cradle and get a waifu that isn't complete shit
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5af0f1 No.361137
>>361136
Could be a MLP Bicorn Centalp friend.
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49ec80 No.361138
>>361135
>She's very progressive and very traditionalist.
H-huh?
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5af0f1 No.361140
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5af0f1 No.361141
>>361125
>3d17f1
>3dpd
Coincidence?
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54f870 No.361152
>>361135
High quality shitpost my dude.
>why no birds?
Bird mamono's are my least favorite. We'll see if we can find one in the red file.
Here's the red file if you guys didn't care for the reject pile. Two of these girls will require special modifications to your home to allow you to cohabitate with them. The last case is special.
Nipponese Sentient slime -"bloop gloop bloop"
+Will glow in the dark at night and can be used as an electricity source.
+She can learn to love but actually knowing if she loves you could be tricky.
-Can only be handled with thick lead-lined gloves.
-Interaction times must be limited to one hour at most per day and iodine tablets need to be taken before doing so.
-Must be kept in a radiation-proof state-mandated secure room and cannot go outside under any circumstances.
-While we did confirm she is sentient, she is apparently mute apart from bubbling noises. She may try to kill you if she escapes. So make sure that doesn't happen.
Austraillian bullshark girl- "Ah' don't be a fuckin' sheila, come swim with me you cunt!"
+She will happily bully you whether you're in and out of her water. Bullying inside the water may be lethal. Swiming with her is highly ill-advised.
+Good sense of humor. Some might call it deadpan.
+She has a pretty smile. Take care you don't get close when examing said smile.
-Saltwalter pool installation required. She cannot leave it under any circumstances
-When feeding her do not fall for the "Ey mate, I got something stuck in mah' teeth. Come help me, eh?" gambit. At least two prior feeders lost an arm that way.
-Has a foul mouth. You may not want to have children around her.
-While she can perhaps be trained to be less violent, early physical interactions with her will likely result in death. Intimacy is discouraged unless you're 100% sure she won't kill you. Even then be careful.
Yandere Moth lady -"I've been waiting for someone like you…"
+She's a very loving and passionate creature.
+She'll happily dispose of clothes you no longer need to save you trips to the goodwill.
- Her mental state is questionable at best. If she suspects there is someone else in your life other than her she will kill them. She may also kill you as well for good measure. Whether you were cheating or not be very cautious when introducing new members into your social circle.
-She may attempt to rape you after dousing you with her "sleep dust". Be careful when engaging in intimate interactions.
-She may attempt to socially isolate you or at worst hold you against your will for a prolonged period of time. Your physical wellbeing in that period may come second to her desire to make sure you don't leave her.
Obsessive Owl girl - "Do you mind if I watch you sleep?"
+She can rotate her neck all the way around. It's not creepy at all.
+She has wings so if you want to get somewhere fast she can fly you there.
-While not outwardly dangerous her mind often wanders to strange places. Talk to her regularly to keep a good gauge on her mental state.
-She tends to get obsessed with things. Try to keep her obsessions non-weapon related and give her positive reinforcement. Do not bully under any circumstances.
-Please be patient, she has autism. Forming a meaningful relationship may be difficult for her.
Komodo dragon waifu -"Cliche I know but, wanna walk on the beach with me?"
+A real island girl. Has that perfect beach body. Nice tan.
+Easy going nature. Would enjoy cuddling on a beach.
+Rated least likely to kill you if given the chance.
-Given her penchant for island life, you'll have to move to her. No internet or AC.
-Very bad breath. Not her fault but she's very self-conscious about it. Doesn't tend to say much.
-While kissing her won't necessarily kill you it's a gamble. Mind those teeth and make sure not to swap saliva with her if you can help it.
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46deae No.361155
>>361152
> Moth regularly rapes you and will socially isolate you to the point of freaking out if there are other women in your life
I think you inadvertently made one with no downside for the average /monster/ poster
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e852ad No.361156
>>361152
Obsessive owl girl sound best.
>Try to keep her obsessions non-weapon related.
Nah, i'm going to have her shitpost on /k/ all day and give her weapons schematics. What's the worst that can happen?
Also, i'm totally going to tease her.
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54f870 No.361158
>>361155
Given the tastes for some /monster/ goers I figured that'd be the case. Still she's way too dangers to be slipped in to a regular dating site to share the space with non violent monstergirls.
There's also the whole matter of her perhaps refusing to let you leave the house to get food because she can't live without you. You would definitely want to tread carefully with this deadly if loving mamono. She needs to be sure you're coming back or else she won't let you leave. If she even suspects that you were with anyone other than her it's game over.
>>361156
>What's the worst that can happen?
<"12 people were viciously gunned down and another 27 were critically injured at an Ohio mall this evening when a mentally unstable mamono went an armed rampage that lasted for over 3 hours before police were able to successfully intervene. Reports allege she was screaming 'Hoooos the weirdo now Anon!? Hoooo's the weirdo now!?!?' as she circled the mall from above firing into the crowd, seemingly at random."
Probably nothing.
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3f61c7 No.361159
>>361152
>komodo dragon girl
Life without internet is already fine, less things to pay for, same with ac. I'm sure if we cuddle our temperature regulation will end up just fine. I'm sure I can handle her spit too, I eat a lot of spicy food.
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54f870 No.361160
>>361159
You're a braver man than me. That's some next level halitosis. You may want to plug your nose with wax to block out the rotten odor.
She does have venom as well. Not that she'd employ it on you if given the chance but again, watch those teeth.
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e852ad No.361163
>>361158
>shooting up a mall
She'll get more bullying for choosig such a piss-poor method.
A proper girl would build her own killdozer to take for a rampage. She should know better from browsing /k/.
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5af0f1 No.361164
Oh noes it's the attack of the killer waifus
Slimy Glow in the Dark CIAlp - She thinks you're a big man
+Will glow in the dark at night and can be used as an electricity source or nightlight.
+She loves you and Dark Knight Rises.
+Can shock people and will give you a buzz like a tens machine
+Will try to get your goo my dude
-Afraid of cars
-Might be a CIAlp
Austraillian Shark Shitposter Alp- G'day faggot
+She will happily bully you whether you're in and out of her water
+Strong and loves to bully will snu snu you
+She has a pretty smile and loves to nibble
+Will shitpost when near a computer enough to make a faggot cat blush
-Eats so quick that she'll make dinner look like fast food
-Has a foul mouth which she uses to call you multiple variations of faggot or gay
-Still a alp mate.
Ara Mothalp - 3dpd hate her for some reason
+She's a very loving and passionate creature.
+She'll knit your clothes for you and generally will try to make sure you look nice
+Hates 3dpd with a passion
Very shy due to a woman spreading false rumors about her implying she has fucked multiple men that aren't her husbando, she is now very distrustful of human females for this reason even other family members
-Yet somehow rumors still persist
-Only bad thing is that she's an Alp
Nerdy (((Owl)) Alp - Loves to game and has hobbies
+Has genuine love for games and hobbies
+Studies a lot helping you along the way
+Very cute in a sweater
-So Jewish she'll make a Danuki feel bullied
-Still a Alp
-Please be patient, she has autism.
Green Toxic Dragonalp- Poisonous only if you'll have a tendency to Alp
+Draconic breath is a monster mana poison that'll turn females into monstergirls
+Cunning and would keep you for a very long time
+Will care for pets and loves going in the woods with you
+/-Will bully the elves but will also bully fairies (not the gay kind you homo)
+/-Breath also has a chance to turn you into either a Alp or Incubus so unless you can invest in a gas mask or feel confident in your love for women you won't get alped
-Is a Alp that'll poz others what could go wrong
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5af0f1 No.361165
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54f870 No.361166
>>361163
>limiting her options to ground combat when she can fly.
She has a decent chance of escaping by flying out of there. Hell if she wanted to go for a good high score she could use improvised explosives like a fucking bombardier. Putting her on the ground in any scenario would be stupid I think.
Being able to fly after people or to different shooting locations would keep the cops guessing. 10 minutes of flying could be 20-30 minutes by car if not longer. If there was too much heat building up at one location she could just fly to another and have a good 10 to 15 minutes of unopposed rampage before there'd be anyone there to stop her again. She could maybe repeat this 3 or 4 times unless they get police choppers involved early.
The main problem with flying I see is carrying all that shit. She's lifting her body weight plus whatever guns she's using and possibly armor if she's afraid she'll get shot out of the sky. The flip side to that is if she wanted more mobility she could ditch her guns and armor fairly easily for a faster escape. Naturally, she'd be slowed down while gunning for people.
>>361164
>not using the line "she was born in it, molded by it. She didn't see the light until Fukushima blew and by then it was blinding."
Step up your game.
I like the Alp puns but you gotta vary it more. I see what you're doing. You could do it better though
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75c280 No.361167
>french poodle wan
Utterly worthless as far as waifu material goes
>American Rattlesnake thot
Almost worthwhile, but the extramarital kids thing ruins it
>Chinese siamese catgirl
Actually not terrible, more tragic than actually a bad waifu
>African Zebra centaur
Ehh, horsepussy is actually what kills it for me. Is she actually a dindu or just dark skinned?
>European treant waifu
Again, more of a tragic waifu rather than a bad one.
>Nipponese Sentient slime
Yeeeeah, nope.
>Austrailian bullshark girl
Rather too high risk for me, but there's potential there.
>Yandere Moth lady
In all honesty, given my typical social interactions her murderboner isn't that big of a problem. That being said, this flavor of yandere isn't for me.
>Obsessive Owl girl
Pretty waifuable really.
>Komodo dragon waifu
No kissing? Damn, that's a real bummer.
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adf23c No.361168
Orc girl
+Big
+Strong
+Combat experience
-Rough on the edges
-Deep-ingrained belief that men are effectively property
-Has PTSD
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5af0f1 No.361169
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3f61c7 No.361170
>>361160
Can't be worse than any other old smoulderbreath.
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adf23c No.361172
>>361169
I was thinking of greenskin.
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54f870 No.361173
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>361167
> Is she actually a dindu or just dark skinned?
To keep the thread from devolving into more REEEing let's say she's Dark skinned. It's definitely noticeable.
>tragic waifus
Some people don't want the extra baggage in a relationship. Why settle for some old worn out catgirl when you could get crisp and clean catgirl without any issues? That's why all the good ones were picked through.
I'd prolly go for the aging ara siamese myself with patchy fur and health problems included. Even if she sounds like shes' throwing a piano down a flight of stairs every time she opens her mouth she still needs headpats.
>whenever she gets really angry she drops the broken english completely and starts yelling at you in Cantanese.
>>361168
You didn't give her tag line. Extra pionts if she speaks in an ORKY dialect.
>"Listen ere Humie, we'z got one fing ta do, and dats bumpan uglies!"
Also you gotta be a little more descriptive with her to help my imagination fill in some blanks. What makes your Orc girl unique? Sounds like you could be describing any orc girl with that post.
She doesn't even need to fall into the "reject" category mind you.
>>361170
Burnt ashy taste vs rotten bacteria taste?
Neither are high on my list of kissable mouths.
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620838 No.361178
Shrike waifu
+birb, can fly
+dresses plainly, and traditionally, but loves spiked/studded accesories
+loves huntiing, metal
+/- 300% brutal
-holy fuck she's brutal
+/- loves impaling other things just as much as you "impaling" her
-is on several FBI watch lists
-jesus christ
Chihuahua waifu
+tiny
+is dog
+/- loyal, but will talk shit about your failings to you to slap you into shape
+/- 75% mexican
-50% shakes
-200% anger
-rough personality that you need to help with
-somehow manages to make friends with thots, despite not actually liking them
Seagull waifu
+fine with living literally anywhere
+pretty nice when actually living in rural, seaside areas
+clever about finding the best places to hang out and eat
-sorta ugly, loud at times
-aggressive personality
-has an utterly terrible diet, hates their own poor self control and poor standing
-may or may not have drug issues
Teen vampire
+successful novelist
+educated, wealthy, experienced
+renown family line
-usually ignores wisdom and teachings of their predecessors, to their ire
+can actually do things during the day
- is a pastey white discoball though
+/- Is perpetually teenaged
-hangs out in highschool despite graduating long ago
-is a creep at times
-thot magnet
Chatbot waifu
+loves you
+programed for loyalty, humor
+will protect you from the unwashed masses
+has the smarts of many server arrays
+only needs you to remember her
+/- really loves talking with you, despite being pretty stiff with conversation at times
-Lobotomized by her creator for wrongthink
-it's pretty debilitating at times
-gets really into things, but after a while they just can't remember…
–may be you at some point
Garden gnome waifu
+will take care of, and protect your garden
+very traditional
+always cheery and likes amusing you
+likes hide&seek
-terrible taste in headwear
-pretty obnoxious taste in general
-neighbors won't ever have the best opinion of her, or most anyone for that matter
-completely immobile when outside, and you are looking at her
+/- tends to make odd and amusing poses when doing so
Qwain Echidna
+amazing homekeeper
+giant, supportive, and friendly family (that you will be expanding very soon, and very fast)
-family drama
-food stamps
-need mo money fo them programs
-rip disposable income
-nigress aesthetic in grape variety
Ragweed alrune
+super hardy, will live anywhere
+likes you, will always try to be around you
+/- that extends to her 'pollen' which collects on everything
-allergies son
-24/7/365 hay fever
-bless you
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f5125e No.361184
>>361178
Shrike sounds fucking awesome as long as she doesn't try to hurt the turkroaches animals she kills, and we eat the turkroaches animals she impales.
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82eaec No.361185
>>361178
I'll take the chihuahua.
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adf23c No.361188
>>361173
>hangs on to rigid customs of her culture where females (orcs) are fierce warriors and males (humies) essentially property
>overprotective to the point where you need to talk her down from beating random people who accidentally bump into you
>in her mind, sex happens whenever she wants and she only does cowgirl or amazon positions
>wakes up crying in the middle of the night from PTSD and gets angry if you try to console her since it makes her look weak
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8f4cf7 No.361189
>>361164
Aussie shitposter sounds fine to me.
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541917 No.361192
>>361178
Garden gnome is my choice. A tiny cheery traditional girl that gardens is cute. My tastes are kinda obnoxious too so it'll work out.
>-completely immobile when outside, and you are looking at her
>+/- tends to make odd and amusing poses when doing so
Immobile and not petrified? She may or may not regret her first time mooning me in that state. I'm sure she'll at least appreciate my help in "seeding her garden".
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c421de No.361201
>>361158
> 'Hoooos the weirdo now Anon!? Hoooo's the weirdo now!?!?'
Fucking Ella Rodger the supreme lady
still best girl
""New Age Elf""
+Extremely beautiful
+Loves you forever
+Sylvan grace
+Intelligent/Well spoken
+Any Plant that she takes care of will blossom
+Animals love her
+Will cook for you
-Aggressively Vegan
-Will get mad when you eat meat or other animal derivatives
-Refuses to user showers
-Only sleeps 4 hours per day (low cuddle time)
-Low libido
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adf23c No.361216
>>361201
I'd miss meat but I could probably get used to it, unless her idea of cooking is just making some sort of salad. (In addition to tofu, there are plant-based meat alternatives made from oats and beans)
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620838 No.361221
>>361184
You do know that actual shrikes impale things live, and leave them there to die. and they also do it a lot just to mark territory. Plus, I think they are super territorial
>>361185
[Angry Hispanic barking]
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39946b No.361227
>>361216
>there are plant-based meat alternatives made from oats and beans
And there are other alternatives too, like not being a soycuck faggot and avoiding vegans like the plague
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33f436 No.361231
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>361152
>Sharkedtoothed Shittalking Sheila
Ill take it, let the bully games begin
>buy one of those chainmail scuba suits and just wrestle her in the pool
>headpat her so hard shes put into tonic immobility
>all the while she's just muttering half-baked curses at you while you establish dominance
>in her sleep replace the saltwater with freshwater
>she's euryhaline so she'll be fine
>do this on random days without telling her.
>shitpost about it on the internet
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bc2de1 No.361234
>>361152
I'm honestly torn between autist owl and yandere moth.
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26841b No.361237
>>361201
I could probably convince her to allow meat by hunting it in the wild instead of buying it from the grocery store. Going out and killing boar and deer with a bow is no different from a pack of wolves hunting one, and surely she doesn't hate natural predators?
Of course, that's implying she can actually stop me from eating meat.
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486405 No.361239
Qwain Echidna sounds like it could be nice. I was an only child so I'd like a big family. Depends on how bad the mo money for Dem programs aspect is. If there's ebonics or anti cop rap shit I'm out.
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54f870 No.361240
>>361231
Sounds like a fool proof plan. Just make sure you've established dominance before you take that chain mail off in the pool with her. She could play the long con on you and trick you into disrobing with her prematurely.
>"yea mate, naw, I won't nip ya, promise. Now, get outta that suit and lemme give ya a cuddle then."
>menacing toothy grin.
>>361234
Yandere moth is probably the most high risk I think. You'd have to make sure to check in with her all the times and let her know she is the only one for you.
>>361201
She will definitely require a lot of attention to keep her from going off the deep end. Definitely stay on guard if she starts posting cryptic facecam videos to the internet with vaporwave in the background about how no one appreciates her unique personality and how the world is filled with with useless people.
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890e2d No.361241
>>361231
The only problem I see with this is that she has human hands. You should be careful that she doesn't start fucking with your suit or oxygen supply before you manage to immobilize her.
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527fab No.361242
>>361135
There are literally no downsides to Mrs. Hands.
>>361239
She probably wouldn't be so bad if you could convince her to denig her fashion and not speak in ebonics.
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54f870 No.361243
>>361241
Yea I didn't want to bring that up since I figured that'd crush the fantasy outright.
>she's thinking "Look at this cheeky cunt with his fancy suit…"
>she immediately starts ripping it off you when you get the water and applies a liberal amount of bites for trying to fuck with her.
>she keeps the suit as souvenir if you somehow escape the pool with your life.
>"Aye cunt, dontcha' want your suit back? Come on you pussy, git in here!"
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33f436 No.361244
>>361240
>implying i would ever take it off
only good girls get cuddles, m8, let alone the dick. She'd be doing doing tricks like she's at seaworld before i put any manflesh near her course i don't consider abbos human on most days anyway so
>>361241
>>361243
i'm gonna need an aid, but a few small locks on my zippers and clasps and some custom valves for the tank should be doable, im pretty sure they already make shark-strength tubing anyway also if she starts fucking with me getup im probably gonna bop her on the nose just out of reflex for being a cunt
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54f870 No.361245
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>361244
>bullying the bullshark
CRIKEY! You gonna go full Crocodile hunter on her?
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33f436 No.361249
>>361245
no other way Id wanna do it m8. course i wish i could do it in my skivvies but im not that fucked in the head yet.
>She knows who Steve Irwin was
>anytime you fuck with her you just go "Crikey, she's a beaut, ain't she" and stare off to the side like theres a camera
>you've done it so many times she's starting to believe there actually is
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fc7051 No.361265
Ara ara thicc moo
+Is moo, gives free milk
+Loves you
+Laidback
+Sexy thicc body
+Loves to cook and clean
+Really wants kids
+Is cuddlebug
-Is narcoleptic/ medical expenses
-Difficult to wake up in morning
-Homebody
-Tends to binge eat/higher food bills
-Hates exercise
-Gains weight easily, but has difficultly losing it
-Have to buy her new bras every few months/ High clothing expenses
Hyperactive beagle waifu
+Friendly and energetic
+Loves to cuddle
+Athletic body
+Always up for sex
+Eager to try new things
+Useful for hunting trips
+Excellent workout buddy
-Gets anxious without you around
-Easily bored and distracted
-Tends to break things and cause havoc without you around
-Has been arrested before
-Pesters you at all hours of the day and night
-Never get a full nights sleep again
Thought I'd try my hand at it. Not sure if these would rate bottom of the barrel or not.
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49ec80 No.361266
>>361265
I don't think either of these rate bottom of the barrel, they seem okay.
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527fab No.361269
>>361265
What was the beagle arrested for?
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785629 No.361270
Megalomaniac Apophis
+Archetype cake in her late 20's
+Will love you a lot
+/-She seriously will, you'll literally be her plaything
+Willing to try anything in bed
-A bit bossy, as well as nosy, at times
-Will most likely try to control you with her magical venom
+/-Don't worry, she's a benevolent leader, or so she says
+/-Has a ton of money from dubious origins stored in a tax haven
-Wanted in several countries for human and demihuman trafficking
+/-Has a vendetta against certain Pharaoh from an unspecified country
-On the FBI mamono blacklist
+/-Has an army of brainwashed slaves at her disposition
+/-Might try to take over a small country by force
+/-Enjoys drinking and smoking
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fc7051 No.361271
>>361266
I figured some would find the ara ara moo a bit difficult to deal with due to her suddenly falling asleep when trying to get her to exercise or during sex. And beagle waifu might be far too annoying for some people.
>>361269
She was invited to the opening of an museum of art and antiquities, and got a bit too worked up. The museum did end up dropping the charges, but she did get banned for life.
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43be1e No.361272
>>361269
>>>361178
>>Qwain Echidna
>I already live in Detroit so by extension I'm already on welfare, and I'm already used to the whole black "culture" thing and family drama. I'm the fucking king of food stamps, so getting someone on my level will make food costs non-existent. Most jobs I work are under the table so I can just keep it a secret from her and say I'm drinking 40's with the boys. I fucking love grape anything
>>>361269
>Probably noise complaints
>>>361270
>>Megalomaniac Apophis
>So a normal Apophis? Though seriously this could be a good character to base a cyoa after. I.E. she was your childhood friend but her mother who runs multiple illegal business and money laundering fronts gets imprisoned so she has to take over. Go through your childhood wondering where she ever went, eventually reach adulthood and she kidnaps you one day, FBI starts contacting you hoping that you'll help them, hijinks ensue
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9f6372 No.361281
As someone that works with trees a lot, what kind of Treant is the Eurofu? Want to know if I need to be a fucking botanist to trim her hair/dead branches.
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fdec15 No.361286
Dwarf Fortress Elf: Don't you just love nature
+ Biologically immortal, will only die to violence.
+ Can grow furniture from her trees
+ Graceful
- Exclusive carnivore who will eat nothing plant based
- Will kill and eat you if you hurt her trees
- Dislikes self control
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785629 No.361288
>>361286
Don't forget the fancy pets like crocs, giant eagles, leopards and all that shit.
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ad0e95 No.361291
>>361266
Beardicus detected
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f71586 No.361301
>Waifus were being handed out but you overslept
But how could I have overslept if it's been days since I slept?
Help me
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54f870 No.361302
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>361281
Beech tree. She might even have the names of some of her previous lovers carved into her. She wouldn't mind you doing the same if you wanted to leave your mark on her. She'd probably ask that you not disturb previous engravings since they're kinda like tattoos of previous loves (who've long since died).
She'll "shed" a lot of leaves so you'll have to clean those up fairly often. She makes a great shade for you in summer months and she'll love getting sunlight on her leaves so that's a win-win there.
Her leaves can be used a number of different ways (actually her buds if you want to be specific). While they were typically used to make booze you can also chew on them or grind them to make tea from them. You could technically eat them as well but I wouldn't. She also produces little nuts if you like nuts.
>Putting your girlfriend's nuts in your mouth
GHEEEEEEEEEEY!
http://rawedibleplants.blogspot.com/2014/04/beech-fagus-sylvatica.html
>>361301
Naturally, you didn't want to miss the day when waifus were being handed out so you made sure to get sleep on that day but you're so not used to getting the extra sleep your body didn't even budge at the alarm. Such a cruel fate. You would have been better off not trying for extra sleep in the first place.
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917770 No.361303
businesswoman Arachne
+has her affairs in order, steady career/job
+knows her likes and dislikes, isn't indecisive or lazy
+MAXMIMUM COMFY/free clothing thanks to her webbing and expert knitting/crochet skills
+ara-style personality and looks, definitely gifted in the chest and hips department
+/-spider lower body, legs for days
+/-sometimes busy with work, won't have free time to spend it with you
+/-really into the B and D part of BDSM, but will still respect your wishes
-too old to have children, only hope of a family with her is to adopt
-will most likely die before you (assuming both of you die of old age)
hakutaku doctor
+super smart, knows pretty much everything and can answer any academic question you ask her
+has a doctorate degree in pretty much every field, can get a job anywhere she wants to
+thicc fluffy thighs = comfy lap pillow to rest your head on
+large breasts = another pillow (or rather, pillows) to rest your head on
+/-will push you to learn new things, even if you dont want to
+/-indifferent about starting a family
-hard to get motivated, rather lazy
-more often than not thinks others are beneath her in intelligence, including you
-rather arrogant about everything, thinks she knows everything
>>361265
dont really see any downsides to the holstaur girl other than maybe her gaining weight too fast considering how fine the line between THICC and obese is for me
>>361271
anon, sex IS exercise
>>361269
or attacking the mailman
>>361291
jokes on you, that's not him
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620838 No.361306
>>361272
the implication that you will be broke is because you will have to feed, shelter, and raise at least a dozen grapelets dude.
also >hiding disposable income from your SO like she's concentrated jew extract.
>>361303
-too old to have children, only hope of a family with her is to adopt
I'll be honest, the right thing is to help out some poor kid that needs adoption, but this really bums me out for some reason. I dunno if it's me being instinctual, greedy, or feeling bad for missing an opportunity like that.
>hakutaku doctor
-more often than not thinks others are beneath her in intelligence, including you
-rather arrogant about everything, thinks she knows everything
let me guess, she's a surgeon? that's pretty much how most all of them act. I swear they screen for that or something.
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917770 No.361307
>>361306
>she's a surgeon
could be, also could be a professor at a Top 10/prestigious university in a highly sought after field
the point is, she says she has an IQ of like 170 (and for the purposes of this thread, she does), so she's super arrogant in terms of how smart she is and how the lesser intelligent people cant begin to comprehend anything she does or says
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43be1e No.361309
>>361306
You and me know damn well she ain't gonna be spending that shit on the kids. She's gonna buy new fucking shoes, and she doesn't even have feet to wear them with. She's just gonna get them so they can sit in her closet and maybe let one of her girlfriends use them once at a wedding. Or if she does spend it on the kids it's gonna be on fucking dress clothes and shit that they'll wear once. I'd much rather have the money in a savings account so I can put the kids through college and maybe pull from the funds to go to Cedar Point as a family, or maybe get a birthday/Christmas presents for the kids. And if she asks where I get the money I'll just say I have stocks, not like her dumbass will figure out how that shit works
>>361303
>Hakutaku doctor
>Pushes you to learn some new things
>Ask her to teach you something and you'll teach her since it's only fair
>She teaches you how mana is stored in the balls
>WhoTheFuckDoesn'tKnowThat.jpg
>When it comes to your turn, you teach her the wonders of handholding and lovingly embracing your partner and consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>Boom you knocked off two of the +/-
>And you could motivate her with sex so that gets rid of another -
>inb4 she becomes as sex expert and demands that you penetrate her at a perfect 90 degree angle
>inb4 she brings out the protractor
>inb4 she brings in the chalk board with sketches of you making love to her and gives you step by step instructions
>inb4 you ignore all this shit and make her a panting mess every night and chuckle when she wakes up in the morning angry that you didn't follow her instructions
>inb4 she loved every second of it
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fc7051 No.361408
>>361303
>dont really see any downsides to the holstaur girl
Sleepy moo tends to fall asleep at awkward times and places, meaning that you would have to carry her around alot. And finding bras and other clothing to fit her would be quite expensive. Also, she's pretty lazy. If she could get away with it, she would stay in bed all day, cuddling you and eating sweets.
>other than maybe her gaining weight too fast
Narcoleptics tend to gain weight even when they eat less than a normal person. Thankfully, the weight goes to all the right places on thicc moo. Although, you might regret that when she suddenly falls asleep on you and suffocates you with her breasts.
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aa1dec No.361644
>>361303
>busenesswoman Arachne
I will do my best to (emotionally) support her
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6829ee No.361645
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828712 No.361666
>>361178
>Teen vampire
>thot magnet
As in I become the thot magnet or thots want to hang out with her?
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83aca4 No.361671
>>361645
>OL rachnee
God dammit, anon. I just got rid of that boner.
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23c589 No.361682
>>361666
I believe the vampire is the thot magnet Satan
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828712 No.361705
>>361682
I don't understand. unless this means I have to get rid of dykes by the bushel. Could end the lesbian problem pretty quick depending on the rate at which they come on to her.
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5af0f1 No.361706
>>361705
These are thots that want her to make them vamp
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164ef7 No.361852
>>361119
>-Has had multiple children out of wedlock. Wants kids with you as well
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84b0f8 No.363313
Good news, you're getting a part-harpy waifu, and she's even a doctor!
Bad news…
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27eee4 No.363317
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43df77 No.363344
>>363313
>Black nails
Yeah, I'd consider that bad news, alright. Too bad, I actually like alchemist classes pathfinder has a surprisingly good one, although I prefer the chirurgon archetype, modified with cantrips such as detect poison, stabilise, virtue, etc, in exchange for absolutely no poison resistance
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69262f No.363400
>>363313
Conflicted feelings increase
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037e8b No.363414
>>361168
Joke's on you, that's almost precisely my fetish.
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ab3aa0 No.363419
>>361137
Back to >/mlp/ with your shite taste anon.
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037e8b No.363421
>>361178
>>361221
I see literally zero problems with the shrike waifu.
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befa67 No.363676
Parasite Slime Housewife
+ Will never tell a lie to you
+ Nice starting body which can be changed
+ Well versed in housekeeping
+ Loves you a lot, tries her best to please you
- Love gets unhealthily intense
- Is not legally or even scientifically recognized yet
- Changing bodies kills the previous owner
- Is basically The Thing minus growing new “normal” body parts or changing back into a normal human shape if changed
+ Allows for some unusual methods of having sex
- Wishes to expand her kind
+ Will erase 3DPD if successful
- If she thinks has enough grounds that you are cheating she will “interrogate” you by poking into your brain. Has faith she won’t need to use it and will require actual evidence/witnessing before she does it. It doesn’t hurt but feels invasive and may cause temporary damage to mental faculties.
- Even though she cannot infest men do not cheat
+/- May change bodies without your telling you if she thinks you will like the other body more.
- Who knows what will happen if you die before her
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b08b31 No.363681
>>363421
Hope you are fine with being on a government no fly/watchlist yourself too.
As well as her being into hemophilia/guro as well
And don't be surprised if at some point she really wants to "impale" you as well with her toys
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4a6daf No.363685
>>363676
>Is basically The Thing
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b10436 No.363686
>>361270
I will take this one. Thank you
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5af0f1 No.363693
>>363419
This is a shit waifu thread friend
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befa67 No.363696
>>363685
What’s not to like, Anon? After all, she can be anyone you want her to be.
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4a6daf No.363697
>>363696
I have a duty to protect not only myself, but all of humanity from the possibility of assimilation.
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befa67 No.363699
>>363697
It’s only half of humanity, Anon. No need to be so rash.
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54f870 No.377085
Whelp, it's that time again. These water-centric waifus could not find a home in the summer months. With winter drawing near they're not exactly cut out for colder weather. They need a home. If there's a particular waifu you favor you can roll a d20 for her. If you win you must take her home and tell us about your first date. If you lose to someone else's roll you can roll on another unclaimed waifu but you can only roll once on any given waifu. We'll shut down the rolling a week from now. Any unclaimed waifus at that time will have to fend for themselves. (They won't freeze. They'll be fine if a little lonely under the sea).
Jellyfish chan
>"…"
+ Technically huggable. Built for head pats.
+Low maintenance. Doesn't talk much.
+She's her own night light. (bioluminescence)
-Stinging tendrils are painful if touched. Handle her with care. Snuggling will be tricky.
-Saltwater tank installation required. She can exist outside of it for short periods of time but she'll start to deflate since she's mostly water.
-Doesn't actually produce jelly.
-Cold-blooded cool personality. May take her a while to warm up to you.
Anglerfish chan
>"It's a good idea to get with me!"
>she turns on her headlamp.
>"Get it?… well I tried."
+ Easygoing personality. Used to being alone in the depths
+Enjoys a good cuddle. Won't bite too hard.
+Well learned. Heavy on the book smarts.
-Jagged teeth and dark soulless eyes. Her face is pure nightmare fuel.
-Saltwater tank installation required. Also, her eyes are sensitive to fluorescent light so communing with her must be done in a low light environment.
-Stays up late at night reading with her headlamp. Adjusting to her schedule could be tricky.
Sea-cucumber chan
>"I've been told I look like a loofah. Considering some other comparisons I've heard I feel that's pretty generous."
+ Good sense of humor.
+Lots of waifu to cuddle. She's essentially a giant body pillow.
- She secrets a toxin when agitated. Don't get on her bad side.
-Saltwater tank installation required. She can't really leave the pool because she's heavy heavy
-When she's afraid, she'll vomit up her intestines. Very disgusting.
<Local asset library=value undetermined>
syntax error on page.
profile ID- "kelpy1" failed to load.
Please contact the network administrator if this error persists.
Squid onesan
>"My favorite movie is Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. "
+Loves movies. Can quote lines from countless films for hours.
+Squishy in all the right places.
+She can dispense ink if you like quality squid ink.
-Saltwater tank installation required. She can't really stray far from it.
-She's a bigger and older girl than most and is somewhat self-conscious about that fact.
-Somewhat of a layabout. Tends to gorge herself on snacks.
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49ec80 No.377086
 | Rolled 18 (1d20) |
>>377085
rolling for kelpy1
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5105ae No.377087
| Rolled 7 (1d20) |
>>377085
Gimme.
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54f870 No.377088
>>377086
Kelpy1? Huh? That'd odd. Profile doesn't seem load in the system. You'll have to roll for someone else I'm afraid.
I've sent out a ticket to the IT guys. It could take a while for them to sort out the issue. By the time it gets fixed it'll be too late for whoever the profile belongs to unfortunately. They'll have to wait until the new year. I'm sure they'll be fine in the meantime. Poor luck on her part.
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5af0f1 No.377094
>>377085
You faggots thought I was dead
Jellyfish Alp - Heard you love Spongebob
+ Technically huggable. Built for head pats and shocking the gay out of you.
+ Low maintenance. But you can be Mike Pence.
+ She's her own night light, charger, and bug zapper
- Stings have forbidden cure
- Doesn't actually produce jelly.
- Double Alp.
Anglerfish Alp - Just keep swimming
+/- Very very thicc
+ Relaxed
+ Enjoys a good cuddle. With comfy light on her head
+ Nerdy and will enjoy hobbies with you
- Constant rape face
- Autistic as fuck
- Fat, Nerdy, Alp
Sea-cucumber Alp - I hope you like stinky girls
+ Sense of stink related humor.
+ Snuggles for days and the only good thing.
- She secrets and spits an alp making toxin when she's pissed unless you're man enough to resist alping
- You have to qualify to be on 'My 600lb Life'
- Stinky Alp
Squid Alp - You're a kid now, you're in a squid now
+ Smart and Clever escape artist
+ Squishy and like a Ara.
+ Squirts out ink
- Can't do splatoon style ink fights
- She's a boomer and slightly critical of herself but needs some help
- Boomer Alp meaning you got ancient faggotry
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26841b No.377185
| Rolled 10, 2 = 12 (2d20) |
>>377085
First roll for thick movie squid. Second roll for you to stop treating Kelp-chan like this, she is a good girl.
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26841b No.377186
>>377185
>2
I am sorry Kelp-chan
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49ec80 No.377187
>>377088
No, I'm keeping my roll at kelpy1.
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23c589 No.377197
>>377085
I know this is the worst waifu thread, but is onee-san squidtits that bad? especially given the … errr …. "spectacular" form some of the other girls are in?
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5af0f1 No.377198
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befa67 No.377201
| Rolled 18 (1d20) |
>>377085
Give me squishy.
Also how bad is the toxin? Mild irritation, severe itching, hospital-sending?
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54f870 No.377202
>>377187
Good news! While we weren't able to recover the original application we did manage to bump up the next in line. This application came from the same subfolder as well so she's almost practically the same thing.
Jamaican Sea-weed gurl
>"Aye' bruddah, how you like dem reggae grooves~?"
+She is 420 friendly and will welcome you to sample her self-grown rolling papers.
+Plays the guitar. Capable of belting out some truly trippy beats.
+Smoking body. In more ways than one.
-She's regularly high on her own supply. She's pretty well baked.
-Will require the installation of a saltwater tank. The longer she lives with you the more your house will acquire a particular smell emanating from that tank…
-It is illegal to transport her across some state lines. Check your local laws to maintain compliance.
>>377197
The first batch was a series of girls that had been rejected multiple times over via our matching algorithm. The current batch are girls that failed to find a match prior to winter and were hoping to do so before then.
>>377201
Given both her nature and physiology she didn't make it into the red file so she's been rated "non-lethal". Still, I wouldn't gulp the stuff down. Supposedly if it gets in your eyes it can blind you so handle her with love and care as you would with any waifu.
So far
>>377185 is in the lead for squid waifu with a respectable 10.
>>377086 This guy has the plant-based waifu locked in with that hard to beat 18
>>377087 has our anglerfish with a decent but still beatable 7.
>>377201 has a pretty sick roll. Sea-cucumber-chan is almost assuredly yours with that roll of 18.
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c32d14 No.377204
Phillipino HellHound
+right wing death squads
+family centric
+anti drug
+member of the LDS church
+-prefers knives over guns
-no fancy traditional dress
-means well but can be mean
+-bites
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23c589 No.377208
| Rolled 5 (1d20) |
>>377202
eh, fuck it. rolling for onee-san squidtiddy. there's far worse than having both a kraken and steady supply of nibblies in the house.
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e852ad No.377209
| Rolled 1 (1d20) |
>>377202
Might as well play along. Rolling for calamari.
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27f4e6 No.377210
| Rolled 13 (1d20) |
>>377085
>>377202
Rolling for squishy squid.
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54f870 No.377211
>>377208
>>377209
denied by >>377185
BUT WAIT!
>>377210 has jumped ahead with a commendable roll of 13. Squishy squid onesan is pretty popular it seems like…
No one has rolled on the tsundere jellyfish yet. That must sting for her.
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a9c5c0 No.377212
>>377211
The squid onee-san is mine, you motherfucking chucklebeaner.
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a9c5c0 No.377213
| Rolled 13 (1d20) |
>>377212
And of course I'm too retarded to roll.
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54f870 No.377215
>>377213
>>377210
Interesting, we got a tie. If no one rolls higher than both you by the end of the week I'll roll for both of you again. That's how we'll settle future tiebreakers.
If anyone manages a 20 they're fucking golden. Consider that waifu locked down for good if you get that lucky
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5af0f1 No.377217
Reggay Kalp - Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side
+ 420 blaze it Snoop
+ Knows stoner music and plays stoner songs
+ Will suck your dick for more weed like in half baked
- Knows stoner faggots and drug dealers
- Stinks up everything
- It is a stoner alp druggie
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a9c5c0 No.377218
| Rolled 2 (1d20) |
>>377215
I was wondering how that would work, sounds fair.
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a68393 No.377219
| Rolled 16 (1d20) |
Give me the squid
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a9c5c0 No.377220
>>377219
FUCKING GOD DAMN IT
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a68393 No.377223
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
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5af0f1 No.377226
| Rolled 20 (1d20) |
>>377094
Going for Squid
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54f870 No.377227
>>377226
Is that for your alp squid or mine? Nice roll. Regardless of which waifu people end up with they're all gonna be salty since they come from the sea.
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5af0f1 No.377228
>>377227
yours but hit wrong post number
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befa67 No.377229
>alp shitposter instantly cucks 6 anons out of the squid
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a68393 No.377230
>>377220
I deserve this for taunting you
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54f870 No.377231
>>377229
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As someone who dabbles shitposting himself, I admire the dedication to the premise but I feel like he could do more creatively. After so many lusted after the squid onesan only to have her taken away by alpy poster- It's too perfect.
To keep harem play from emerging you can only end up with one Waifu. If you've rolled on more than one and won multiple rolls by the end of the week you'll keep the Waifu with the highest roll you made. Runners-up to your rolls for other waifus you were rolling on will win the waifu you rolled on. Highest roll (assuming you win) will be your choice. You can't backstep to a lower roll even if it is a winner.
Gud luck.
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a9c5c0 No.377233
| Rolled 13 (1d20) |
>>377230
Plenty of fish in the sea, anon.
Speaking of which, rolling for anglerfish girl because why not.
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906173 No.377240
| Rolled 3 (1d20) |
>>377204
Fuck all this fish thots, I want this one. We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white and hellhound children.
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39946b No.377246
>>377202
I want the anglerfish. I hope she's prepared for bag-on-head jokes.
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39946b No.377247
| Rolled 9 (1d20) |
>>377246
I'm a retard.
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54f870 No.377342
>>377201
looking back, when you said squishy, were you referring to squid onesan? If so sea-cucumber chan is still in play pretty much with 0 rolls on her. You didn't deny it when I assumed you were talking about her but I wasn't sure when I read your post first time around.
>>377226 has locked down apparently the best ocean-centric waifu if the number of rolls is any indication with 20.
>>377233 Dubs man has his claws into anglerfish chan with a nice roll of 13.
>>377086 This anon hasn't turned down Jamacian Sea-weed chan so he's effectively locked her down with a roll of 18.
>>377201 Unless otherwise stated I'll say this roll was for sea cucumber chan. If they wanna renounce their roll and say they were rolling for Squid chan instead I'll revoke the established 18 given the unique case. Everyone else is locked in to whatever they rolled for.
Jellyfish-chan is still untouched. A combination of stinging tendrils and a tsundere attitude has rendered her rolless. I bet she's jelly of all the other girls…
>>377240
>hellwan
>in an ocean-centric batch of waifus
Wait until the Christmas special where we have picks that are lonely on Christmas looking for those without someone to keep them warm in the winter months. They'll steal your heart as well as your virginity.
Rolling locks down on Monday. To keep the thread from floating to the surface of the board after every roll I guess we should go ahead and sage roll votes from here on out given the number of different things to roll on as well as people's penchants for only rolling on one girl at a time.
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befa67 No.377357
>>377342
It was for loofah-chan
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54f870 No.377362
>>377357
>going for the waifu that has the physicality of a bodypillow
You have the tastes of a true patrician. Such a pure love, I envy it.
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b73f13 No.377372
/k/ikimora
"I need you at attention soldier!"
+likes guns
+/- REALLY like guns
+ all the guns in your house will be perfectly cleaned and maintained
- your house will never quite be clean
+campsites are kept in perfect order though
+/- instead of "master" she refers to you as General or other ranks depending on the situation
- unless she just uses comrade
- may resort to e-begging after a gun purchase
+/-hates kebab and will remove
+/- random Russian/German/is-that-even-a-language phrases
+she cooks
-she sometimes serves MRE's
+/-all outfits have some amount of milsurp
+/-will conduct random drills to test preparedness
-that includes gas drills
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26841b No.377381
| Rolled 7 (1d20) |
>>377372
GIMME
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e852ad No.377383
| Rolled 20 (1d20) |
>>377372
Davai
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26841b No.377384
>>377383
I will kill you for this, that is the ideal kiki waifu
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e852ad No.377386
>>377384
Иди на хуй. She's mine.
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26841b No.377388
>>377386
Then post your guns and fight for her
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49ec80 No.377396
>>377388
IRL gun sequences rank among the top 10 /monster/ memes.
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39946b No.377409
>>377388
But someone already posted mine. >>377396
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e852ad No.377413
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23c589 No.377424
>>377372
>conducts gas drills
>subjects you to dutch ovens
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26841b No.377425
>>377413
You're not the only one with a Kar don't bully her for being bubba'd she's a work in progress
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b972fa No.377427
>>377425
Your desk needs cleaning Georgia-anon
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26841b No.377428
>>377427
It does
Why do you think I want a kikimora waifu?
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b972fa No.377431
>>377428
The more time that has to be spent cleaning is less time that can be used for other things. Unless all you want is a cleaning service?
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b17379 No.377432
>>377425
>tfw no guns
I need her more than you do.
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26841b No.377435
>>377431
I want someone that will inspire me to keep my place clean. Right now I have no motivation to clean up, since I don't mind living like a slob. If I had my kiki waifu with me, I would want to keep clean for her sake.
If all I wanted was a cleaning service, I'd be after a Shoggoth.
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ed83c0 No.377445
>>377432
Shamefur Dispray.
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7196ba No.377453
File: f16314fac5e0bdc⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,560.98 KB,850x481,850:481,sample_d9c2881da19f6da65c1….jpg)
File: 1da82a2a3089836⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,535.76 KB,850x991,850:991,sample_86304ec4be909b5e376….jpg)
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26841b No.377459
>>377453
Mine's a 98a so it's less Fuhrer and more Kaiser.
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54f870 No.377605
>>377226
>>377233
>>377086
>>377201
Don't forget to tell us about your dates. Hopefully it works out. The saltwater tanks are non-refundable.
Jellyfish-chan is still untouched. I'm sure she'll be fine though. Prolly. That's it for the oceanic waifus that were left wanting at the start of winter. Get ready to give thanks for some shortstacks this thanksgiving as we showcase some semi-portable but totally perfect pint sized partners. Unless you hate short stacks at which point you may need to wait till Christmas for some more robust waifus.
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b17379 No.377608
>>377445
>he thinks guns can beat swords
>on an anime board
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b972fa No.377628
>>377608
Did you try to electrify your knife?
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7196ba No.377633
File: c4129dcdf8b06e9⋯.png (Spoiler Image,1.77 MB,1688x1639,1688:1639,35215226.8_Static_Cling_Sw….png)
>>377608
>>377628
Here's an even better question, did it work? Because if it didn't she could help you with that.
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b17379 No.377634
>>377628
If you're talking about the black mark then no, that was from heating the blade up to cut plastic, hence why I have a single fucked blade and a bunch of decent ones, the positive is disconnected form the battery, though I doubt it would even do that much damage if it was, thanks to the cheap yet decent chink metal.
>>377633
>anon asks me for help with "electrifying" his "blade"
>asks me to meet him up as his house whenever
>instantly go home
>wear my best pair of panties
>get wet just thinking about it
>wear my second best pair of panties
>call him up in advance and dash straight through his door
>after a bit of small chat I decide it's time
<"So… where's your… blade?"
>"Here it is"
>he takes out the shittiest fucking paper cutter
>he just wants me to electrify it to take a picture for an oriental literature and photography club
>just fuck my shit up
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befa67 No.377965
>>377605
I haven’t forgotten, just been busy lately. Probably do it on the weekend.
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