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/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

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File: 8c09bc5b8514fd5⋯.gif (521.28 KB,500x280,25:14,giphy[1].gif)

 No.33027

what's the worst, most groan-inducing, silly in it's own badness joke you know /kind/?

Or any joke really! Let's laugh!

Did you hear the movie theater was robbed last night? They got away with $5000 dollars. The theater made an announcement that they'll never recover from the stolen goods: two large Cokes, a box of M&M's and a pretzel

____________________________
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 No.33028

>>33027

ur face

:^)

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 No.33030

what happens when you cross a bee with an eagle?

a beagle

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 No.33043

>>33030

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator

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 No.33049

>>33027

I saw that coming

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 No.33118

What's red and hurts when goes into your eye?

A fire truck

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 No.33120

>>33027

what is yellow and you can step on it?

[spoiler] a chick

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 No.33125

Cheese that isn't yours is nacho cheese

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 No.33178

File: 669249550474466⋯.jpg (21.13 KB,455x281,455:281,tmp_14342-1058288555-16442….jpg)

What's a cat's favorite car?

a meowta

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 No.33179

File: c5e4a5093a5140b⋯.gif (872.93 KB,500x288,125:72,595[1].gif)

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 No.33187

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

He was outstanding in his field

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 No.33190

A man was killed with a large candle stick in little Italy today. Detectives are saying he was waxed

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 No.33192

File: c0ca55a4590453e⋯.jpg (56.24 KB,500x500,1:1,1471703245478.jpg)

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 No.33195

File: 43bbfba5759914e⋯.png (113.36 KB,915x645,61:43,IMG_5720.PNG)

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 No.33196

What is yellow and kills you when it falls on your head?

a yellow truck

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 No.33198

>>33190

>Detectives are saying he was waxed

I get that this is just a pun, but I really don't understand why detectives in particular would say this.

Anyways, I lost my thesaurus today. I can't tell you how bad I feel.

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 No.33200

File: a793d0c3211ed9e⋯.png (1.04 MB,500x1507,500:1507,ClipboardImage.png)

>>33198

You're thinking too hard.

How did you lose your thesaurus? aren't they extinct?

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 No.33202

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

No idea

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 No.33203

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 No.33204

>>33202

Oh, I get it! It works with a boston accent.

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 No.33207

>>33202

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

a fsh

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 No.33213

>>33204

It also works with an English accent.

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 No.33242

>>33202

What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs?

Still no idea.

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 No.33251

>>33202

>>33242

Hey that's kind of alright, I liked these.

What is the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

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 No.34466

File: 3e7d0289bb01ec9⋯.png (342.74 KB,720x720,1:1,1459352038485-3.png)

What's green with wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels

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 No.34487

Here's one I actually came up with myself:

The carnival just came into town and I'm planning on going. Not for the impossible games or those cheap roller coasters that make you want to throw up, but mainly because I want to ride the carousel, believe it or not. I used to think they were boring, but I'm slowly coming around on them

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 No.34488

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 No.34529

>>33027

Teacher: Name two pronouns!

Student: Who? Me?

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 No.34766

Why is B the coolest letter in the alphabet?

Because it's surrounded by AC!

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 No.34778

what has 4 legs and flies?

a dead horse

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 No.34785

>>33125

A nacho that's nosy gets jalopeño business.

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 No.34795

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says A beer please, and one for the road

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 No.35398

File: d8bdf4d0cce6db6⋯.jpg (9.24 KB,200x275,8:11,nokekseisenlex.jpg)

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 No.41038

How do they separate the men from the boys in 8kun?

[SPOILER] With a crowbar. [/spoiler]

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 No.41195

"Did you hear about the wizard in Toronto?

He turned into a driveway."

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 No.41199

How does Tom Waits pass the time?

Tom waits

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 No.41200

>>33027

What do you get when you cross a centipede and a rhinoceros?

A media circus about the evils of genetic engineering.

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