i hate my life, i hate myself, i have no energy im tired and bitchy all the time i can barely express a complete coherent thought or will myself out of bed in the morning, my apartment is a disgusting shitheap full of trash and filth, i barely indulge in the hobbies i used to love, its been YEARS and everything in the world just keeps getting worse
i'm almost catatonic, i can barely speak a complete sentence, literally my vocal cords barely work because ive been isolated so long, i havent spoken more than a few sentences to anyone outside my immediate family in 7 years, i cant even drive, i can barely talk on the phone, i dont want to die but nothing would change if i did. if my life were an anime or a movie this would be the part where something happens to start the plot and shake everything up and start the main character on their adventure but it never happens