No.31613 [View All]
You can talk about your worries and what bothers you here, /jp/sie-kun!
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No.36533
>>36531
>no worse than coke really
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No.36555
>>36533
stop posting 3D on the /jp/ kudasai
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No.36563
>>36555
trips acknowledged
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No.36570
Is this the blog thread? Nice. Not looking for pity or advice, just wanted to share
I think I'm slipping away, /jp/. It's been over a week since I took a shower and I stink like hell. Haven't changed my shirt in days and it's stained as hell because I've been eating while laying down on my bed. There are mice in this basement and I don't care enough to set traps this year.
I'm going to turn 38 in 2 months. Where does the time go? I was doing ok until mental illness hit in my early 20's. I can't blame that though as I haven't hallucinated or had paranoid/grandiose delusions in over a decade. The medications have fortunately continued to work and I take them diligently. Forget where I was going with this.
It's apathy that has gotten me. I need new glasses but haven't gotten them. I need to go to the dentist but don't. There is more trash in this basement than non-trash. I live in filth. It's pathetic and I don't think I want to hit 40. Things could change. NEETlyfe isn't all bad but be careful my fellow, /jp/sies. Youth is fleeting. Not going to tell you guys what to do but I will say that the longer you stay in this hole, the harder it is to get out.
I'm tired, /jp/. I live a life of total leisure and laziness but I am unbelievably tired. Exhausted and defeated
I've rambled enough. Thanks for reading this.
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No.36574
>>36533
Get out of the jay my man
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No.36607
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Always remember;: At least you aren't stitches
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No.36612
>>36523
>Your comment thus begs the question. Is /jp/ more found of Coke or Pepsi?
RED BULL
E
D
B
U
L
L
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No.36613
>>36607
You never drive a Rolls Royce unless it's a coupe or a bespoke model.
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No.36627
I think I'll pick up meditation again...
I'm bored of being lazy
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No.36630
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No.36643
What if you do the right thing but get laughed at for doing so?
Will we have the strenght to do the right thing next time too?
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No.36644
>>36643
Just go ahead and keep reporting those spics to ICE, /jp/sie-kun! No matter how much criticism you get. They have to go back.
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No.36645
I'm renouncing my love for large breasts. Sure, I might still throw a comment like "flat chests suck, I prefer large breasts instead" from time to time, but don't expect any images accompanying that post. I'm not going to purposefully search for images of 2D girls with large breasts anymore and I'm going to push them out of my thoughts.
I used to spend such long periods of time obsessing over images of large breasts even after quitting masturbation and thoughts of them would even keep me up at night. However, those things will not occur anymore.
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No.36646
>>36645
It's okay, you don't have to maintain some kind of public image. Please do what you think is right.
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No.36647
>>36646
It's not about a public image, it's about following a righteous path.
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No.36652
>>36645
How large are you talking?
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No.36656
>>36647
If it was truly about righteousness you would embrace the gift of flatness.
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No.36662
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No.36670
I lost, /jp/. Why is it that someone who claims to never give up keeps losing?
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No.36671
I have no talents, no skills and ruin everything I touch. The worst thing about me is that I instinctively end up doing the wrong thing, even when I know what's right. I claim to be smart, but I'm always clueless. I claim to be strong, but I can hardly wake up. I claim to be cool, but I'm just a weirdo who loves larges breasts and has an imaginary girlfriend.
Exercise? I end up overworking and/or hurting myself.
Meditate? My head becomes full of monsters which haunt me even after I get up.
Pray? God (probably) curses me for being a natural sinner.
Never give up? I always make the same mistakes.
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No.36672
I won't kill myself though. That would count as giving up, which is something that I don't do.
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No.36673
>>36670
You only truly lose when you give up.
What did you lose?
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No.36674
>>36673
I fapped even though I said that I defeated the sin of lust. I just fell down the mountain that I spent months climbing.
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No.36677
>>36674
You were warned that one is unlikely to "defeat" the 7 sins as they are a part of mankind just as much as suffering.
>I have no talents, no skills
You have the capacity to change just as anyone else can. The fact you even put effort into tackling the sins shows how different you are from the average hambeast who can't put the fork down or the gambler who wants to take one more spin on the slots.
>ruin everything I touch
Be specific. All that can be said is one can be their own best friend or their own worst enemy.
>I claim to be smart, but I'm always clueless.
The problem with that line of thinking is that it is foolish behavior. I don't know the answers to everything & even when I have some knowledge of expertise, I have to accept the possibility that I might be wrong in my conclusions and that anything can change because nothing is absolute.
>I claim to be cool, but I'm just a weirdo who loves larges breasts and has an imaginary girlfriend.
First, that also is foolish behavior. Second, under whose definition considers one like you a weirdo? Third, people have had imaginary girlfriends in the past. Should it be reminded how many people worship celebs as their idols & treat them as their spouse? I would put a picture of military men holding a cardboard cutout of Marilyn Monroe with them if I had it. Should it also be reminded that in Metamorphoses, Pygmalion, who wasn't in women, carved a statue of his idealized girl & fell in love with it?
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No.36680
>>36674
I know how you feel, but guilttripping yourself isn't going to solve this situation.
A warriors true strenght doesn't show itself when he mows through hordes of enemies effortlessly, his strenght shines the brightest when he's down for the count but manages to fight on anyways.
Didn't you say that your sword will never rust? Now is the time to get back on your feet and pick it up.
I've noticed that our paths are very similar. Would you like to write me an email so we can support each other on a more personal level? I've left it in the email field
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No.36685
Everytime I look at the family photos of my early years, I cry.
It's so frustrating that I remember nearly nothing from that age, and that I looked like such a retard.
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No.36689
>>36677
>foolish
That word practically defines me. I always make the same mistakes and never really change.
>Pygmalion, who wasn't in women, carved a statue of his idealized girl & fell in love with it
It's funny how relatable this is to me. I don't really talk about her that much, by I made what people online seem to call a tulpa. I made her in the image of my ideal girl and ever since then she's been cheering me on. I've never been the type to accept outside help, so I created inside help for myself.
>>36680
The problem is that I don't know how to fight. I just stand my ground and blindly swing at my surroundings.
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No.36690
I made split pea soup with leftover Sunday ham and now I can't stop farting.
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No.36693
>>36689
>The problem is that I don't know how to fight. I just stand my ground and blindly swing at my surroundings
That's all there is to it, really. Struggle on in a pit of blood until you emerge stronger than before and repeat the proccess. That's life.
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No.36695
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No.36696
>>36689
>That word practically defines me.
It defines people in general. The difference with acknowledging yourself as such is that you are more wiser than if one were to claim they're smarter, but in actuality they are not.
>I always make the same mistakes and never really change.
Nothing is wrong with making mistakes as one learns more from failing than succeeding, it's only bad if one doesn't recognize the common patterns that occur during failure or gives up.
>I've never been the type to accept outside help, so I created inside help for myself.
Does the girl act as your conscience?
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No.36698
>>36693
It's good to hear that I'm doing something right.
>>36696
>Does the girl act as your conscience?
Yeah.
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No.36700
>>36698
Well, it's not like we have a choice but to struggle in the first place. It's either that or suicide. So mightaswell make the best out of things.
I've been in a similar situation as you for 7 years now, and I don't feel stronger in particular. But that's better than giving up at least
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No.36701
>>36671
Great story bro. Now you just have to take responsibility and start again.
>>36674
>I fapped even though I said that I defeated the sin of lust.
Who could have thought? >>36433
>That attitude is how pride wins.
>>36689
You know as well as I do that you're running in circles here. You need someone outside of your head who is on your side, that's why you write here. It's scary to interact with other people. You will just have to be brave enough to do it anyway.
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No.36715
>>36662
Why not enjoy both? You don't have to take sides (Well, technically you're still taking one) or renounce them if you feel burnt out.
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No.36812
I've been wondering what I can do to banish the darkness inside of me. But then I thought "Is this really the right way? There is no way I can never truly destroy the darkness inside of me, it is as much part of me as the rest of my mental states." I've come to realize why all these negative feelings are even there, they are a reaction of my mind to the circumstances I've had to endure all my life.
I feel an urge to violate because I've been feeling weak all my life and thoughts about domination make me feel strong..
I feel an urge to indulge in my lust gluttony to receive some endorphins because I've been feeling sad and depressed for a long time now.
I feel anger because in my daily life I feel like I'm not free in the decisions I can do.
I feel lonely and bitter because I have the impression that I'm surrounded by people who don't understand me and who don't care about me.
I could go on with this for a while, but what I'm trying to say is that even my greedy, violent despicable dark side doesn't truly want all of this, he wants to break out of these negative emotions as much as I do.
I believe the only way for me to make peace with my dark self is to face all these negative emotions that I meet every day with a light inside of me
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No.36935
I hate losing so much. It hurts more after every defeat. I will not give up though. I'll never give up. Giving up is like dying and I don't want to die.
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No.36936
>>36935
It doesn't have to hurt, at this point you are just injuring yourself to punish you.
Maybe you are afraid that if you don't feel bad and punish yourself this way your brain will build a habit of doing the bad things. At least that's how it was for me.
But this kind of mindset will only give you more despair and no progress
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No.36946
>>36935
Are you still trying to tackle the sins?
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No.36950
>>36946
I will never give up, even if I'm too hard on myself. I will never give in to despair.
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No.36961
I'm having trouble getting a good monitor. I got an expensive 1440p one but it had issues so I had to send it back, I got another one but it had grainy image quality so I had to sell it, I got a third one that was less grainy but still not good enough so I had to give it to my brother and now I still don't have a new monitor.
I just want to get one but it's such a gamble buying them.
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No.36969
>>36961
I've been stocking up on backup copies of my monitor for this very reason. If I'm ever forced to switch from crt, it seems like such a crap shoot finding something that won't simply fall apart thirty seconds after falling out of the box. Or worse, dead pixels. Luckily, the monitor I've been buying remains cheap and plentiful for now, so I'll keep buying them up until I've got around a dozen or so stowed away in a closet.
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No.36973
It is Summer in Australia. As I turned on the lights in my room for the first time in a long time, I saw some kind of very thin - almost invisible - string running from the back of my bed to the light bulb on the ceiling. A cautious investigation of the light bulb has led me to conclude I was, in fact, face to face with a spiderweb. A spiderweb... It came to be without my knowledge, in the darkness of my own room. For how long had it been there? Were there others in previous Summers? An insectophobe from childhood, I ferociously cut every line of the spiderweb. So far, I have spent much of the day looking for others in this tiny room of mine. My heart has been flooded by terror and torment, my soul has frozen in fear and my mind is under constant assault by paranoid, disturbing visions of spiders and other creatures crawling on my body during my sleep. How do fellow /jp/ gentlemen deal with the scourge that are these insects, arachnids and other invertebrates? Please, give me tips and advice to reduce the population of these monsters in my room - I would like to minimize the chances of being eaten alive by one.
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No.36981
>>36969
What monitor is it?
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No.36982
>>36981
LaCie Blue Electron IV. It's built pretty solid, and they were making them later than most, so they're still pretty easy to find in good shape.
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No.36994
I'm sick on the last day of 2017, and if things go bad I'll be sick on the first day of 2018 and then be cured just in time for work.
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No.37186
i hate my life, i hate myself, i have no energy im tired and bitchy all the time i can barely express a complete coherent thought or will myself out of bed in the morning, my apartment is a disgusting shitheap full of trash and filth, i barely indulge in the hobbies i used to love, its been YEARS and everything in the world just keeps getting worse
i'm almost catatonic, i can barely speak a complete sentence, literally my vocal cords barely work because ive been isolated so long, i havent spoken more than a few sentences to anyone outside my immediate family in 7 years, i cant even drive, i can barely talk on the phone, i dont want to die but nothing would change if i did. if my life were an anime or a movie this would be the part where something happens to start the plot and shake everything up and start the main character on their adventure but it never happens
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No.37246
I feel something inside my head. I can't explain. It's like popping bubble wrap or popcorn. Happens from once every 30 minutes to 5 hours. When it happens, I get a single weird and sharp reflex, like when I turn my head by a little. I'm having strokes, am I not? I'm afraid of becoming a drooling retard with no memories.
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No.37804
Jerking off way too much!
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No.43845
All of the old threads are still difficult to open and fixing them means either leaving your own ugly post there, or deleting it. I don't like the idea of either.
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