/wooo/ - Pro Wrestling

Who's ready to be let down yet again? That's right, the Road to WrestleMania™ is upon us, and it's sure to be fraught with the usual unsatisfying booking decisions that have dogged this once-great company for years. But, let's be honest, if you have any intention of watching WWE television in 2018 then you deserve everything you get from it, because there's little reason to bolieve it'll ever be good again.

As I demonstrated >>88749 here, I know everything there is to know about fantasy booking. All I have to do is write something that sounds pretty cool and makes a bit of sense, and then everyone will lament the current state of the company while eulogizing me as though I were some kind of virtuoso when, in reality, I couldn't book my way out of a paper bag if I had to deal with all of the executive meddling, injuries, egos, moving parts and logistical limitations that trammel the poor souls who ceaselessly slave away in WWE Creative.

So, because I'm lazyanother trait that makes me ineligible to criticize WWE's writers, and because I have very little hope for anything coming after Wrestle Kingdom 12 next year, I'm going to keep my autistic rambling relatively short this time. Go ahead and write your own material if my meager offering doesn't quite sate your appetite for glorified fan fiction.

WWE's big problem is that it has virutally no mainstream interest at the moment. Cena has been doing some shitty comedy movies, and The Rock is still one of Hollywood's top draws, but their success outside of the company doesn't seem to be doing much to help put eyes on WWE's product. They need a miracle worker, and I know just the man to call, brother. WWE needs to be made great again, and to do that it needs to go back to its roots. By bringing the Hulkster back and featuring him in a prominent role, WWE would uncuck itself so hard Trump might have to start inviting Vince to his golf club again.

That's right, Hulkamania runs wild again at the Royal Rumble. Have 64-year-old Hulk Hogan come out as one of the last entrants (#28-#30) and boot some jabronis out of the ring en route to his first Royal Rumble victory in 27 years, absolutely annihilating Triple H's record for most time between Rumble wins in the process. But wait, wouldn't this be controversial? Hogan said some bad things about the black people fiteen years ago, and certainly diehard fans would be a tad miffed that a guy who could hardly take a bump without his hips coming unscrewed won over [flavor of the month IWC darling]?

Well, of course it's controversial! Hell, I bet Twitter would become an unmitigated firestorm of liberal tears and patriottic jubilation for a few days. In other words, t's exactly the sort of event that WWE could use to become relevant again.

As for the concern about young stars having to move over, how about Braun Strowman wipes the floor with old veterans Brock Lesnar and Kane earlier in the show to win his first Universal Championship? I can't think of a WrestleMania main event as old school as Braun Strowman vs. Hulk Hogan, but that still puts a "New Era" guy in the biggest match of the year. Tell me you don't want to see Strowman try to bring about the final end of Hulkamania. I'd have him succeed in that goal, of course, because that's what's best for business. Have Hogan do his routine where he looks disappointed that he lost but still goes out of his way to endorse his victorious opponent, then let him hog the spotlight so he can bid his final farewell to the millions of Hulkamaniacs all around the world. To me, that sounds like an idyllic conclusion to a WrestleMania.

I know the above happening is about as likely as Zombie Chris Benoit rising from his grave to win the Royal Rumble again, but regardless, your thoughts? Other ideas? Predictions? Complaints about other people's waifus?

I'm also currently plotting out a non-lewd pro wrestling /cyoa/ where you get to make your own wrestler and then see if you won a championship tournament based on your choice of moveset, attributes, opponents and whatnot. It's still very much a WIP.

Hotpocket edit: Also the thread for the show because budget cuts.