No.6398 [Last50 Posts]
Meet… Omi… of the new Disney Canon… She is a stronk, independent and super smart Dianoga (which are now sentient) who can use the force. When her story begins she fights off an evil male Dianoga rapist because her force is just that good. She even foresaw the Death Star exploding! She was then captured by some Vodran hunters who sold her to some stormtroopers who she then killed because she is just that badass. She then freaking drove a spaceship to the death start and made her way into the trash compactor, where she found Han, Luke, Leia and Chewey. She then decided to give them a proper Dianoga baptism, because they could be helpful friends. She was only pretending to try and kill them guys! When Luke escaped, she even sensed that he would bring balance to the Force! She was then reborn as Rey… And idiots like to make fun of the EU because of Skippy the Jedi Droid despite that said shit was just a fucking April Fools story.
THIS IS THE REAL FUCKING DEAL PEOPLE! EVEN THE DEATH STAR'S FUCKING TRASH COMPACTOR DIANOGA WASN'T SAFE!
____________________________
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No.6400
brb gonna steal your thread. this is too awful not to share.
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No.6401
>>6398
And to think, I was considering giving that anthology a look. Now they're putting unwarranted importance to aquatic vermin.
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No.6403
>>6401
Honestly, I would've actually liked to hear the story of the dianoga in the Death Star, but not as some super smart mary sue alien, but rather like how it ended up there in the first place. Sure it presumably wormed its way in like any other filthy vermin of its species, but still it could've worked as a comedy, or as part of another character's story who was maybe delivering the creature to a fucking zoo or collector but it escaped, or just a delivery ship sending supplies to the death star on which the creature snuck in to steal food, but then caused havoc in the DS before escaping into the sewage. Like Tales from the Cantina where its more like the odd ventures of some of the customers (I enjoyed TftC a lot but the only story I had mixed feelings about in that one was Dice Ibegon's origin, which kinda feels like Omi's, but with Dice it works because she clearly was a sentient hanging out in a bar and even her tale is more like a log of her and her lover's work within the alliance, but nothing of truly great importance like Omi here is implied to have).
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No.6404
what do you think dianoga pussy looks like haha i'd like to see it just for a laugh haha
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No.6405
>>6404
Same as an octopus. They put their reproduction tentacle into the mate's mantle cavity. However, unlike octopi, they're hermaphrodites, like snails and shit.
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No.6406
>>6404
Or if you're desperate and mad, you can pretend its mouth is actually a vagina dentata.
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No.6407
>>6405
>eats it's own eggs
why even bother laying the fucking things, you magical creature?
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No.6408
>>6407
Same reason sloth bears, certain snakes and several other kinds of irl animals eat their young, you dummy. If they're tired after giving birth, they'll need to eat one or more of the kids to have the strength to raise and forage for them.
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No.6410
>>6403
The puppet had a story of its own.
"And [George] Lucas walked up and looked at it, too. He said, 'That's really a gross-looking thing! What kind of a rating do we have on this, Gary [Kurtz]?' 'Well, I think it's a PG.' So they said, 'Yeah, let's go ahead and shoot it!'"
―Phil Tippett recalls George Lucas and Gary Kurtz's initial reactions to the "drooling arm" cantina puppet[src]
The Dice Ibegon character from A New Hope was a puppet sculpted from the neck up.
The Lamproid species was designed for the cantina sequence of Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope, released in 1977. The character was a hand puppet created by Rick Baker's special effects team along with the other alien characters who appear in close-ups shot during the film's post-production in Los Angeles, California.[39] Phil Tippett designed the puppet to counterbalance the other cantina denizens, who were primarily human beings with masks. Tippett originally intended for the creature to simulate breathing through its mouth parts. The character was known as the "drooling arm" during production due to its ability to emit red slime through an internal tube. In preparation for shooting the close-up featuring the character, Tippett rushed to get the goo tube fitted into the puppet when producer Gary Kurtz questioned the grotesque effect. Nevertheless, director George Lucas approved the blood-like drool but first filmed the scene without it. On another take, Lucas called for the goo, and Tippett's assistant, Laine Liska, worked the mechanism to release it. The slime shot forth more forcefully and spread farther than intended. Lucas ultimately decided against using the effect in the film due to its messiness.[40] The character was also referred to as "Snake Head" during shooting, and was later officially dubbed "Nake."[41]
>a wolfman and a snake-worm
I don't wanna know how that works.
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No.6413
>>6410
>I don't wanna know how that works.
Dice is sort of a spiritualist hippie, so with her it makes sense, and she is the one who begins the conversation. I think with Lak, he acknowledges his attraction to be odd, especially since his species is very xenophobic. Hell, most of the galaxy finds shits like Pa'lowicks attractive, and they're just ugly as shit. Also that lamproid has pretty eyes.
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No.6414
>>6413
Speaking of those, anyone remember the name of that weird snake-like thing hanging around in the arches of Jabba's throne room? I can't remember for the life of me.
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No.6415
>>6414
Individual or species?
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No.6416
>>6415
Individual, though the species would also do.
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No.6417
>>6416
Okay, so the only one hanging around the arches I could recall is Ghoel (a wol), but he's more of a mollusk than a snake. There's also Cane Adiss who is more of a large quadraped guy but with two snake-like heads (a yuvernian). And then there's Loje who was a cliffborer worm.
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No.6428
I don't even know what's real and what's people pulling shit out their arses for a laugh anymore.
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No.6430
Oh my god it’s real. This retarded story is real. This is now canon and Kyle Katarn isn’t.
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No.6434
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6430
Wasn't that who Cassian Andor (Kyle) and Jyn Erso (Jan Ors) were supposed to be?
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No.6436
Seriously, i thought it was a joke until i checked the wiki. They too fucking dianogas, those disgusting vermin and turned into spiritual tribal people, just because… and more, the one from DS is now some kind of shaman, preacher, baptizer?
Seriously, i will never criticize things like
-Faster, more intense
-flying jedi caravels
-Jaxxon
-Tricolous and Mofferences
-Whaladons
-Church of the Dark Side
-Lusankya being buried in Coruscant
-Wankatine
Seriously, a fucking dianoga?! I punched those things to death when i was a kid playing Dark Forces. Dianogas are disgusting, revolting, abhorrent!
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No.6438
>>6436
This is what happens when you go and find a black woman to write a star wars book.
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No.6441
>>6417
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ghoel Found 'im. Thanks.
>yfw the background characters in the Originals are more interesting than anything the sequels show
>>6436
Oh, you can criticize them plenty. Just don't try to say they make the proper EU inferior to the Disney one.
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No.6442
>>6398
I'm at a serious loss for words.
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No.6445
The EU did nothing wrong.
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No.6448
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No.6449
>>6434
Why didn't they just call them Jan and Kyle then and not treat them like fodder and make a decent adaptation of their story? Otherwise the casting wouldn't been fine. Or at least call him Kal Kandar instead of Cassian Andor.
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No.6452
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No.6455
>>6452
Is that supposed to be her hair?
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No.6461
>>6452
Twitter profile wasn't nearly as stupid as I feared it'd be. Sounds like Didny just picked the wrong person for Star Wars.
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No.6462
>>6452
A guy I know actually knows her personally and says she's not a bad writer, so maybe she was just the wrong person for the job.
Then again, he's a bit of a SJW, so maybe he just said that because she's black.
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No.6470
>>6461
She was a really bad choice. Or at the very least she might've worked if she had picked a species that her style of spiritualist hippie writing works with, like the Tulga. Hell, would've been nice to see Morag's fall to evil. Or a retelling of Charal's backstory that didn't involve TCW's shitty Dathomir Night-Sisters.
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No.6471
>>6462
>Then again, he's a bit of a SJW, so maybe he just said that because she's black.
Most likely. I used to know a EUfan who was just as angry about the Disney retcon as I, but as soon as Wendig's novel came out and added so much diversity, followed by Sloane, he did a 180 and started sucking mouse cock, at which point he just spent every day calling anyone who dissed the new disney canon a bigot of some kind.
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No.6479
>>6471
Well, I'm giving him (and Okorafor) the benefit of the doubt, since he doesn't really strike me as someone who would ignore a bad story because the writer is an SJW or a minority. Can't say I know him that well though, so take it for what it's worth.
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No.6482
>>6479
Well, hopefully he isn't. I still think she'd be better off writing a backstory for Morag the Tulga Witch since it's never really been explored in any media.
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No.6497
reminder that coruscant had a zoo and it's still not as awful as this shit.
of course, since then damage control has been applied and most of this anthology book was de-canonized.
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No.6501
>>6398
I read the whole thing
>by Nnedi Okorafor
>kek'd
And I cant stop keking.
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No.6502
>>6497
>reminder that coruscant had a zoo
Makes sense that it would have zoos. Urban sites would want to see exotic off-world life, or have a place to keep their native wildlife which can no longer survive on the over-industrial planet which only has like two mountains and a lake left (until the vong came around and made it all techno-nature and shit and fucked up a bunch of other worlds. Coruscant was the only one that actually benefited from the invasion). But yes, Disney's new stories are horrendous. Only thing worse than this book is Wendig's shit and the new SW Marvel comics.
>of course, since then damage control has been applied and most of this anthology book was de-canonized.
Wait, are you saying Disney is so desperate they already decanonized this new book of theirs?
>>6501
>Nnedi Okorafor
Ayyy
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No.6504
This is so…what…
I…think I’ve gone Hollow…
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No.6506
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No.6507
>>6452
>PhD
A negress who substituted for a class back in highschool once claimed to have worked in archaeology, kek.
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No.6508
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6506
My only problem with that some of those imprisoned could hardly be called "the worst humans", but I suppose you have to make them somewhat appealing. Which then calls into question why one of them is le ebil nazi scientist.
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No.6510
>>6508
In the original story, the five people were just randomly chosen survivors that AM mutated as he desired it, making Benny an ape or Ellen a slut. In the game, Harlan Ellison attempted to explain why AM picked those five people. It doesn’t have to do with them being good or bad, it has to do with what a crazy computer would find entertaining to torture.
Gorrister is there because he is suicidal and AM enjoys keeping him from killing himself. He likes making Benny behave like an animal because he was once intelligent. He likes torturing Nimdok because Nimdok is most like his creators. Ted he likes fucking with because he’s secretly a racist and a con man and he’s afraid the others will find out.
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No.6511
>>6510
Oh, and Ellen was raped by a man in yellow and AM finds that amusing.
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No.6512
>>6510
>>6511
Ah, okay. Now I have to read the book. Thanks.
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No.6519
>>6406
So the shitty land octopus from TFA was just a ripoff of this particular underside artwork of the Diagona? Truly unoriginal. No wonder idiots around me kept claiming
<"Wow, you see that anon? That must be the creature from the trash compactor! omg! So that's what it looked like! And it had babies!"
This caused me incredible pain.
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No.6522
>>6512
Is /sw/ the new /lit/?
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No.6568
>>6403
>local merchant is taking dianogas to zoo on coruscant
>gets intercepted by death star, pure accident he didnt know it was there, obviously its location is a secret
>during his stay dianogas run away
>main characters are two stormtroopers tasked with findng them and bringing them back
>whole story is centered about adventures on ridiculusly large military station that has enough free space for all sorts of fucked up places, like moffs harem, hutt drug den (how it got there?), a tie hangar where illegal races are organized etc.
it writes itself
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No.6570
>>6512
The original story doesn’t go into that detail but the game does. But it is worth a read.
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No.6571
>>6568
This. This is the kind of shit I always assumed would be the dianoga's origin. Not this… whatever the hell this is.
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No.6579
>>6452
kek at someone so insecure they put 'PhD' in their Twitter name. I'd bet money it's honorary.
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No.6585
>>6403
From what I remember the official original story was that dianoga eggs are almost microscopic and easy to spread. The one in the Death Star trash compactor likely got washed off someone's clothing down the drain into the waste system where it grew enough to escape getting filtered. From there it figured out how to navigate the waste tunnels and learned when the garbage compactors were about to operate.
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No.6586
>>6579
>I'd bet money it's honorary.
When is it not? Anyone who usually does it is either insecure or wants to make sure people treat their opinions with absolute validity.
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No.6592
>>6579
but its a nigger not a honorary
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No.6624
>>6398
So this means that Rey is reincarnated Dianoga according to the nuCanon? No wonder why her parentage is unimportant in TLJ.
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No.6625
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No.6626
>>6452
Those could have been ground breaking speculative fiction or straight to the Walmart check-out racks in quality. Regardless it's clear the nature of her previous works didn't equip her to write for Star Wars, which is a problem that's happened to no shortage of otherwise good writers.
I'm positive that Kennedy's Lucasfilm didn't even consider that charitable benefit of a doubt. They just wanted to say that a womyn of color is among their world builders. It's the same reason why they hired Cuck Wingding; they needed a gay to be their flagship mascot (and the faggot was only too eager to prance).
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No.6642
>>6502
>>6497
Their excuse is that the short stories are all in-universe anecdotes being spun at cantinas or in hangars about the goings on in the Galaxy, so they can be exaggerated tall tales or have greatly embellished details depending on who's telling the story. This gives them the freedom to just canonize or trash whatever they want based on fan reactions.
Wikispergians are not programmed to handle ambiguity and watching them argue over how to classify it is amusing.
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No.6644
>>6642
I’m trying to think of what cantina would want to hear stories about a trash monster spiritualist.
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No.6646
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>that she would not die. No,
Reminded me of this.
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No.6647
>>6626
>>6626
>it's clear the nature of her previous works didn't equip her to write for Star Wars, which is a problem that's happened to no shortage of otherwise good writers.
And its just gonna keep happening, like with Wendig. If only they just late Luceno and Zahn write everything.
>>6642
>Wikispergians are not programmed to handle ambiguity and watching them argue over how to classify it is amusing.
Good. I hope they get seizures. Still, it figures that this is how Disney would handle shit now. Nothing is valid, everything is equally worthless and just exists to make money. Yet fags will keep treating this shit new "canon" like its a legit thing, and not something that will be rebooted once the money train slows down.
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No.6652
The author.>>6647
>Yet fags will keep treating this shit new "canon" like its a legit thing, and not something that will be rebooted once the money train slows down.
This here is the most pathetic part of Disney Star Wars. There used to be an enormous amount of care to keep things consistent. New Jedi Order alone had a dozen writers and they took the time to ensure that everybody's work lined up with one another and the universe as a whole. In just two of their hundred million dollar films, Disney said "That stuff is for nerds" and allowed episode 7 to be released with a whole bunch of plot threads that no answers planned at all, then followed it up with Rogue One, presented by people who couldn't even be bothered to rewatch A New Hope to ensure that it led into it properly.
How much oversight or scrutiny is anyone going to give to a short story written by a PhD in African studies?
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No.6653
>>6652
Absolutely none. They should have rejected the story outright, but my guess is instead of asking for submissions they sought her out, she rubbed out a shitty story, and they took it.
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No.6655
>>6652
They didnt even rewatch a new hope to make sure it led into it properly?! You can't be serious.
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No.6656
>>6655
A New Hope - Leia attempts to claim that she is on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan and had enough plausible deniability that her arrest could cause problems in the senate. Darth Vader insists that her ship received a transmission containing the plans for the Death Star.
Rogue One - Leia was delivered the plans by hand and her ship fled from a battle with the Rebellion, observed directly by Vader.
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No.6659
>>6656
It made a lot more sense when Kyle Katarn snuck into an imperial base and sent her the plans.
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No.6660
>>6644
Maybe a place frequented by holy rollers and burnt-out priests.
>>6647
>implying Wendig would be a good author in any genre
I wonder if there's some worry that neither Zahn nor Luceno will be quite as obediently imbecilic and obstinate-to-the-public as Wendig, since both of them seem content with their status and have nothing to prove.
>>6647
Ready the "I told you so." The salt will be splendid.
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No.6661
>>6660
Rey will not be rebooted so long as Kathleen Kennedy is there. She’s the New Coke of Star Wars.
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No.6662
>>6661
>will not be rebooted
>she is the New Coke
So… KK is gonna hit the door in the next couple years?
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No.6665
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6652
Don't forget they even had to reshoot Rogue One. Imagine how much worse it was going to be. Yet sadly, the idiots working (while not fans of the EU) at least bothered to look up shit on Wookieepedia to add/remake for the film, like not-Kyle and not-Jan and a few aliens/planet references (although the second part is just really obscure or background shit). Still, holy fuck, how did they manage to fail so bad at making sure RO lined up well with ANH? You could see dozens of videos on the shit after release trying to damage control the inconsistencies.
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No.6666
>>6659
>>6656
>>6655
not that guy, but the only mishap is the transmission bit. it's stated that the tantive received multiple transmissions containing the plans, not one transmission to the ship holding your ship.
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No.6667
>>6660
Worst part is you couldn't even insult or criticize Wendig or his shitty work because "muh diversity!" and "finally SW is no longer for bigots and straight males! Take that patriarchy! Long live socialist idealogue retardation!". I remember when Aftermath first came out, it was easily one of the worst books in recent history, but it only got mixed reception, and the msn went out of its way to demonize anyone who dared to mock Wendig for his shitty writing and his obviously hamfisted pandering. The guy was untouchable. And it only gets worse when you realize what he looks like IRL. Like the epitome of the beta college lumberjack.
<NYT Best selling author!
Fucking kill me.
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No.6668
>>6666
>>6656
actually, hol up a minute. they checked the computers of the tantive and no trace of the transmissions were found. easy plausible deniability. so it actually does work with rogue one's take.
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No.6671
>>6668
Still Vader makes no mention of the fact that he obviously saw the Rebels do what they were doing and even had them docked.
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No.6672
>>6666
Sorry Satan, but it's not just the transmission. Vader sees the Tantive IV leave, he has concrete evidence of it being a Rebel ship. But when he catches up with it and gets the chance to interrogate two different people, he doesn't even off-handedly ask where they've been or what they were running from when they assert their innocence. Intercepting stolen plans is their one and only crime, not being present at a major battle.
>>6668
> Don't act so surprised, your highness, you weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies.
Doesn't work. If Vader knows this, he knows the ship was present at the battle, so he doesn't need to justify all actions around the transmissions. Plus, the plans were transferred from the main computer to a memory card, them not being there any more doesn't count for anything.
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No.6673
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No.6674
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6671
>>6672
guys, i'm all for calling out the inconsistencies here, but it really just doesn't wholly add up this time.
let's have a look at related. first, c3po says "there'll be no escape for the princess this time" meaning they've ran into imperials before in similar situations.
second, captain antilles' bluff. vader calls it out immediately. they claim they're on a diplomatic mission, but are missing key personnel.
to be continued in the next post
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No.6677
>>6667
Is he touchable now that SocJus is beginning its slow-motion tumble, and TLJ has elicited worldwide rage?
Incidentally, do we have a list of stupid shit that he wrote? Or a sales figures set on his Star Wars pablum?
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No.6678
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6674
continuing from, view related.
princess leia once again tries the bluff of the mission, and vader calls her out for it right then and there.
now, it appears that vader is undoubtedly confident that the tantive had multiple transmissions made to it, but they could have (and most likely were) been after the battle of scarif. vader insists the plans were in them, but you can't track what gets sent over a transmission, so that's merely his assumption. since we didn't see anything prior to this before rogue one's existence, we just took it in a literal sense because there was no other material to go by, before operation skyhook. but remember goyims, that was retconned out of the disney canon.
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No.6679
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No.6682
>>6677
Fuck I hope so.
>>6674
I agree and you make excellent points, but on the c3po thing, it could just be referencing instances where she was receiving "false" accusations from the senate rather than actual physical confrontations.
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No.6683
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-expanded-universe-discussion.12442/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-expanded-universe-fans-cultists.8636/
>I fucking hate the Expanded Universe. Forty goddamn years of brainless nerds stretching out every little thing to an illogical extreme. Every mystery must be explained. Every gap must be filled on. Every line and reference must have its roots in some shitty fan fiction.
>We never needed to "learn" Darth Vader shits by sitting on a fucking serated metal cone.
This is what OT purists and casualfags actually believe. I'm amazed with how many people RLM has managed to influence with their bullshit. Reddit and Facebook is even worse.
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No.6685
>>6677
>Incidentally, do we have a list of stupid shit that he wrote? Or a sales figures set on his Star Wars pablum?
I used to have several pics taken from his first book that highlighted the dumber shit in his retarded story. Along with some weird pedo foot fetish thing from his second one, but I didn't get a chance to back up those pics after my last hdd died. I do have this one pic I saved from /co/ a year or so ago that's a copypaste of a review written by a soy who hated it
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No.6686
>>6685
Wait…
>2015
Oh lord…
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No.6688
>>6683
Not only that, but RLM has managed to successfully convince people the PT were all shot in front of a greenscreen.
Yesterday I started watching a rant on TLJ, and the guy started the video by listing the things he liked about it, and said that George had done away with practical effects, and that JewJew and Disney had brought back practical effects again - that was when I stopped watching.
People parroting their shit and making excuses for Disney purging the EU are not worth listening to tbh.
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No.6689
>>6688
How could anyone even actually believe that? Just looking at TPM you can tell it wasn't shot in front of a greenscreen at any moment except in scenes where it was absolutely necessary. Can't they tell reality from cg?
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No.6690
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>6685
Lawsy me.
What's even funnier is that Lords of the Sith had fags first, and nothing was said of it.
>>6686
?
>>6688 (Ordered & double-checked)
Any more of this?
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No.6692
>>6689
>Can't they tell reality from cg?
if they could we wouldn't have this conversation.
>>6690
it's the guy who wrote a 108 page response to the plinkett review. there's a pdf floating around the internet somewhere. i have a copy on my machine but i can never remember the name of it.
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No.6693
>>6690
Maybe because the story handled it subtly without being in your face and preachy about it, and was done as more of story/character trait thing rather than as a political/diversity statement (and faggots who worshiped it were probably such a closeted minority who only stuck with their inner-circles that you'd never hear of their boasting). Like that sexy jedi cathar pseudo-dyke Juhani from KOTOR I used to have a porn folder of. And speaking of Kotor, I saw in another thread that they added a creature from TFA to SWTOR. Did they do anything else like this in SWTOR? I'd hate to go back only to find that everyone is now wielding crossguard ligthsabers.
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No.6695
File: bc017467296a1b2⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,128.27 KB,1360x746,680:373,swtor-2016-06-06-09-43-21-….jpg)
>>6693
>I'd hate to go back only to find that everyone is now wielding crossguard ligthsabers.
Oh boy do I have some bad news for you.
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No.6696
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No.6697
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No.6698
>>6695
I stopped playing SWTOR years ago after the Disney buyout due to how disillusioned I became with SW as a whole, but seeing this now… I am filled with an unparalleled level of rage that only grows increasingly furious as I realize there's nothing I can do to properly vent out my frustration on whoever was responsible for this.
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No.6703
>>6695
Of course. Fucking hell, I at least hope that it's an uncommon sight. I still wanna play the game, if only to see the Galaxy they laid out before the past two years.
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No.6704
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No.6705
>>6695
>second pic
Holy fuck, don't tell me that's a "totally not Kylo Ren" costume?
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No.6706
>>6705
>asking a question you already know the answer to
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No.6707
>>6704
I saw that shit with Aladdin holding the green crossguard lightsaber while Ahsoka was pretending that "Legends TM" was totally valid. It was cringy then, but this is worse since you risk coming across idiots running around with these shitty sabers. I can only imagine the horror that came following TFA's release. SWTOR must've been a den of Kylos, Reis and Finns. The first year must've been hell.
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No.6708
>>6706
I know SWTOR must've been desperate for some of those nu-Fan shekels, but this is low even for their almost non-existent standards.
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No.6709
>>6708
>>6707
call me a cuck, but i actually like the design of the crossguard saber. i'm not a fan of the forced tie-in though.
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No.6710
>>6709
fuck, it might just be me, but is this the new member berries in use? think about it.
>play swtor after tfa comes out
>see fag with crossguard saber
>oh wow, just like kylo ren, y'all member him right?
goddamn it disney
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No.6711
>>6710
Yep. I remember about a few months back shortly after TLJ was announced, I went to check videos about certain animes and movies I liked on youtube. Immediately I saw people comparing villains to Kylo Ren and about how wonderfully complex and amazing he was "easily the most interesting and complex villain in fiction". Literally only thing in common between any of them was being evil. Or constantly saying how something from any show or anime reminded them of something from TFA. Like the Death Egg from the last Sonic game being a reference to Star Killer base. Even in a porno I saw people thinking the guy in the vid was wearing a Kylo Ren helmet when it was a fucking Darth Vader helmet without the mask.
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No.6712
>>6711
That's even worse than the Jojo memes, and even more nonsensical. Is this how you turn dumb teenagers into unwitting shills?
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No.6713
>>6711
fuck
let no one live
kill them all
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No.6714
>>6709
I honestly preferred the forked one used by the jedi Darte, it looked more practical than this. But my issue is mostly with the sleazy ez-money tactic by shoving this unwarranted shit into the game just for some memberberry money.
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No.6715
>>6712
>That's even worse than the Jojo memes
That's exactly what I thought of when seeing that shit all over the place.
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No.6736
>>6715
Yet, at least those can be funny if done right. At least they reference something good as well.
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No.6770
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No.6779
>>6770
Thanks. Now in clickable form.
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No.6780
>>6736
True enough. It gets retarded at times, but even the retarded times are somewhat amusing. This TFA comparison shit though is just sad.
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No.6781
>>6779
We should add this to the wiki as an external link.
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No.6988
>>6665
I thought they reshot it because the original version was too dark.
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No.6992
>>6988
It was too SJW is what I heard. They toned it down massively and added in Darth Vader slicing people up.
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No.6996
>>6992
I wish we get to see the original Rouge One someday, I just go to watch nu-Wars for the laughs and then follow the slow building of hatred amongest Star Wars fans. Its become an annual thing for me now.
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No.6999
>>6992
Must've been a shitfest of epic proportions if even Disney thought it was too SJWish.
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No.7006
>>6988
>>6992
"Too dark" was also what I heard, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was too SJW-ish as well. The original trailer had some really great shots that simply weren't in the final cut of the film (Krennic walking through the water to the beach with wreckage all around him; Krennic standing alone in the Death Star firing room; the Rebel terrorists charging up the beach while being fired upon by those prototype AT-ATs) but it also had some really fucking terrible dialogue that was cut too ("This is a rebellion, isn't it? I rebel.")
Rogue One bums me out because the concept was great, and if they had gone full-bore gritty war movie with it, it probably would have been my favorite Star Wars film. Unfortunately they pulled their punches in a lot of ways and it just ends up being painfully mediocre.
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No.7013
>>7006
>gritty
You don’t want that. It’s much like having Luke have a crisis of faith. People think it’s a good idea until they see it. Hoth or Geonosis is about the right level a Star Wars ground battle should be at.
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No.7016
>>7013
>>7006
Best way to handle it is to not be too dark, but unique in itself in that it could've stood on its own without being tied to EpIV in any way. Just a story of rebels who did their part for the Rebel Alliance and have it be a sort of war movie, where it shows that each soldier has his own story to tell and his own experiences to share. Also what's with Disney constantly shilling the Saw Gerrera (that barely important kid from Clone Wars whose sister died) as "the first rebel"? What kind of stupid shit is that? There were probably countless shits rebelling against the CIS-run worlds and the CIS themselves were rebels and his actions are now treated with great importance. And even if they mean "first person to rebel against the empire", that's just stupid as Bail, Mon and Padme were the actual first rebels and there were probably countless rogues doing shit across the galaxy rebelling at the exact same time. Yet he gets the special title in material and ads? What's with that?
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No.7034
>>7016
I guess cuz the CGI Clone Wars series is the only canon for the Clone Wars era and his appearance in that hinted he would be a future rebel. I agree with you their were countless rebels around before and at the same time as Saw.
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No.7046
Saw Gerrara remains the stupidest thing in Rogue One. And no kid knows who he is.
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No.7052
>>6695
Crossguards are so fucking dumb, two large plastic bits that stick out that you can hit with your fucking lightsaber, it'd make so much more sense to have the 'crossguard' pop out.
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No.7053
>>6992
I had heard that the original ending still had the Vader monster kill scene But it was the main cast getting dicked down and not nameless grunts.
Imagine: all of them make it off the planet alive, and transmit the plans from thier shuttle above Scarif. The lights are dim and they're all hooting and hollering and hugging it out.
Then this shit is in the background, slightly out of focus (I know it's in the final movie but goddamn it was a good shot from a filmmaking standpoint) I would've busted a nut seeing Vader cut down the diversity club and the quipping robot.
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No.7063
>>6695
check this shit. so i'm reading cullen bunn's maul comic, which is pretty good so far, when i notice this.
crossguard sabers were the fucking norm in the old republic now. it wasn't just for the ventilation shit like kylo ren has due to an unstable crystal, it literally became a cosmetic design. god fucking damn it.
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No.7065
>mfw people actually consume Disney fanfiction
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No.7091
>>7013
>You don’t want that.
Yes, trust me, I do. I want a Star Wars war movie. I loved stories like Janek Sunber's combat on Maridun, or the story of TK-622. I would enjoy something dark and gritty in the Star Wars universe.
>>7016
>Also what's with Disney constantly shilling the Saw Gerrera
1. They want another nonwhite character
2. They want to sell merchandise
>>7053
There was a lot of fan-wank over the Vader scene but I'd rather it be completely cut than have him murder the RO main characters. The whole thing just felt like soulless pandering to me, and changing his victims won't fix that.
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No.7110
>>6646
>Implying Boreale's speech isn't the greatest piece of writing in human history
ISHYGDDT
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No.7117
>>7063
>>those handle-bar lightsabers
I knew the writing was off in that, especially the art is weird and malformed.
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No.7124
>>7063
Reminds me of the Inquisitors lightsaber in Rebels. At first it seemed like a design unique to him but then it turns out it's standard issue for the inquisitors.
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No.7130
>>7053
>I had heard that the original ending still had the Vader monster kill scene But it was the main cast getting dicked down and not nameless grunts.
As awesome as that would have been, the studio added in the Vader scene because of how week the plot was.
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No.7142
>>7053
That would've honestly made the movie a whole lot better.
>>7063
This is the stupidest shit imaginable. Even JJ in all his faggotry explained the crossguard as simply being the result of a poorly made lightsaber, but now this shit is being treated as the norm for ancient jedi? Even the forked design from the old lore was better than this.
>>7091
>There was a lot of fan-wank over the Vader scene but I'd rather it be completely cut than have him murder the RO main characters. The whole thing just felt like soulless pandering to me, and changing his victims won't fix that.
True enough.
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No.7209
>>6398
Reminds of the Disneyfags who made fun of the old lore for having "jizz" music, yet don't realize Disney recanonized that shit in their canon too. Now they have to deal with Rey's mary monster sue past-life self.
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No.7251
>>7209
Yeah, I'll be the first to admit that the old EU had some pretty stupid shit in it sometimes, but that doesn't discount the value of the high-quality content
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No.7348
>>7251
Stupid shit is an inevitable consequence of any large universe. But the benefit of a large universe is that you can focus only on the high quality stories, or only on the parts you find personally interesting, and you can still have a sizable mass of entertaining content, that is comparatively self-contained in the backdrop of the greater universe.
Speaking of content curation, is there a /sw/-approved reading guide/timeline available for the EU? Given the existence of episode guides for CW, I think it's something newfags would appreciate.
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No.7358
>>7348
>Speaking of content curation, is there a /sw/-approved reading guide/timeline available for the EU? Given the existence of episode guides for CW, I think it's something newfags would appreciate.
If someone makes one then it should be worthy of sticky status.
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No.24100
>>6462
>A guy I know actually knows her personally
then his opinion isn't worth shit since he's biased. we don't need to know her personally to judge her writing
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No.24107
I'm pretty sure From A Certain Point of View wasn't meant to be canon. It's a dumbshit book, but I'm pretty certain OP has become essentially people who complain about Mount Sorrow or Skippy, just towards the cuck canon.
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No.24118
>>24107
Everything in Disney Wars should be shit on.
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No.24122
>>24118
I'm not arguing that it shouldn't. I'm just sayong that misinformation does make you look correct, it makes you look retarded. FaCPoV is awful. An unabashed assault upon ANH, adding the most pointless scenes and subtext and overall garbage to a film and franchise that really needs to be left alone by every author in that excuse for a book.
However, saying that it's canon and that it's representative of Disney's shitty continuity is outright incorrect. It's as stupid as Dis-fags saying the old EU was bad because of Skippy, a character and change that was never intended to actually be canon. Is Omi stupid? That would be a disgusting understatement. But if we're gonna have outrage over people fundamentally disregarding the EU over ignorance, I think displaying the same ignorance makes us retarded.
Besides, there is an innumerable amount of garbage The Mouse has shit out, so it's not like there's a shortage of trash to be astounded by.
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No.24123
>>24122
My bad, Anon. Turns out that I'm retarded.
They intended that fucking garbage to be canon. I'm flabberfucked. That piece of shit contradicts itself. Fucking mice, fucking mice.
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No.24125
>>24118
>>24122
>>24123
Okay, I don't mean to shit up the thread, but I'm really assblasted right now.
FaCPoV is a fucking master class on how to disrespect a property you own and one the most culturally important films in history. Firstly, you get your garbage writers to "expand" Episode 4 by focusing short stories on the side characters. It's not impossible to do that okay, there were plenty of EU books that expanded places like Jabba's Palace, y'know, it makes sense. But instead of adding anything interesting, you let them interject asinine explanations from questions that weren't asked or introduce backstories that don't effect, add, change, or make logical sense in the world to begin with.
So, you get 40 short stories, none of which add anything of use or importance into the universe, but, because you can't give enough of a shit to make your writers stick to a tone or style or concept, you instead just let them trample over continuity as they see fit. Do you inform them of what the other "writers" are including in their "stories"? OF COURSE NOT. Why would you ever want anyone to think that you actually gave a fuck about the 40th anniversary of FUCKING STAR WARS? No, no, just let em go fucking wild! Shakespearean Sheev? Who gives a shit?
So, obviously, the correct thing to do here, even as you're whipping Lucasfilm and the creative department into a bunch of pussy nodding soy boys, is to make the book non-canon because you never gave anyone real directions, so making anything canonical is incredibly dangerous, because you likely didn't look over for any real contradictions in the text. You could always make it all canon but then you would make it even more blantantly obvious that you don't care about the universe you own. So, when the question finally comes to your chief creative fucker, Palbo Hidildo, what does he have to say about the book's placement inside or outside of canon? What does this man who has personally worked with Lucas and read over tons of the EU have to say?
"Some are, some aren't."
WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCKING HARVEST DO YOU MEAN BY "SOME ARE, AREN'T"?
HE DOESN'T EVEN SPECIFY. IT'S LEFT UP TO YOU TO TRY AND DECIPHER? IT WOULD BE ONE THING IF THERE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF CANON LIKE IN THE PAST, BUT THERE AREN'T. HOW LAZY DOES A CREATIVE TEAM HAVE TO BE TO NOT EVEN ASSIGN ITS CANON PROPERLY? WHAT WAS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT AT THE TIME THAT IT COULDN'T BE FOCUSED ON?
WHAT THE FUCK?
HOW DO YOU GREENLIGHT A BOOK FOR THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF STAR WARS AND NOT CARE ENOUGH TO TELL PEOPLE WHERE IT'S CONNECTED? WHY DID YOU EVEN MAKE NO GUIDELINES IF YOU INTENDED ANY OF IT TO GO INTO CONTINUITY? I'M IN FUCKING AWE
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No.24127
>>24125
The thing is, Disney's movies actually contradict themselves as well. The Farce Awakens and The Last Jedi don't line up at all. Rogue One doesn't line up with A New Hope. Solo doesn't make any sense either. It's all just nonsense, a bunch of gibberish. They didn't say the EU is no longer canon because they had a new vision or anything, it's because they had no vision. There is no longer a canon. Nothing adds up. Star Wars is now on the level of Marvel comics in terms of continuity. It's only a matter of time before they start introducing alternate timelines and multiple universes.
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No.24128
>>24127
>no vision
>mfw
You're not wrong, Anon. It's just incredibly frustrating to watch people who don't care ruining something as precious as Star Wars. Even sadder when you consider talented people like Zahn and Luceno are obviously still working now and then, but they have no consistency that they can build upon. Luceno especially thrived on the interconnectedness of the universe. I'm not gonna pretend I didn't know it was horrid, but it was this sudden realization that it was somehow even worse. I haven't even seen Solo yet, because it's a story I didn't trust them with. Little did I know that giving them the tiniest credit was still far too much.
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No.24129
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No.24130
>>24128
The way they introduce Han to Chewie was fucking abysmal. I always imagined that Han did some massively heroic shit where he rescued Chewie and a bunch of other wookies from slavery or something and that's why Chewie has a life debt to him, but nope, they just were in the same prison cell and they broke out. Oh, and for no reason at all Han can speak Wookie before ever knowing a single wookie.
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No.24131
>>24130
Just reading that makes me cringe. I heard about the Feminazi Droid and that was enough for me to avoid it, but that's even worse. It's a disrespect to one of the most endearing duos in all of cinema. Fucking disgusting.
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No.24133
>>24131
Disney's greatest crime is a lack of imagination.
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No.24135
>>24131
> Feminazi
Fyi feminists are communist deconstructionists diametrically opposed to NSDAP ideology.
>>24133
idk about that because if they had imagination they would find an inventive way to make their mentally ill CY+3 sjw propaganda palatable to normal fags..
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No.24138
>tfw this is real
>tfw you realize this was posted back in january
>tfw you realize the dianoga was a casualty of the Battle of Yavin
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No.24142
>>24127
>Rogue One doesn't line up with A New Hope.
they at least made a clumsy attempt, with the Death Star backstory, and the use of the same corvette at the end. however, intentionally introducing an Achilles Heel into the Death Star undermines the whole theme of Imperial hubris and Rebel ingenuity; it cheapens what they accomplished.
the ending of R1 and beginning of ANH clash. Vader says that the stolen plans were beamed to the corvette, not beamed to another ship and then carried aboard (as in R1). Leia's alibi of being on diplomatic duty would be very flimsy if Vader had just seen the corvette escape the battle. and why is it that Vader cuts down rebels with his lightsaber in R1, then sends stormtroopers in first in ANH?
R1 did fine on fan-service, and I think it has the dubious distinction of being the least bad of Disney's flicks. however, it's supposed to be a prequel leading right into ANH, and the fact that it didn't achieve this properly is a major flaw.
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No.24149
>>6430
>This is now Disney canon and Kyle Katarn isn’t.
As it should be.
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No.24153
>>24149
pic related
>>24142
garbage film as bad as the rest of disney shit
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No.24155
>>24153
Its not bait. He's saying that Kyle Katarn shouldn't be part of Disney's awful canon. The old stuff is better off being forgotten by Disney than seeing it be tainted beyond recognition.
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No.24156
>>24155
Ah my apologies. You are quite right disney would pervert and destroy any old Eu content as they did the the OT characters.
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No.24268
>>6690
>>>6685
>Lawsy me.
>What's even funnier is that Lords of the Sith had fags first, and nothing was said of it.
There was a gay married Mandalorian couple in the Legacy of the Force books that were written by Karen Traviss.
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No.24272
Please be joking
Please be joking
Please be joking
[Checks wookiepedia]
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Omi
Pic related
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No.24302
>>24268
Yeah, but it was played like how Spartans and Greeks were gay. It made sense. Lots of warrior societies were full of "Gays" but it's very different than the sort of shit we see in media today.
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No.24397
>>6398
I like to use HelloGreedo's youtube channel viewer count to see the true acceptance of the nu-fandom. In the past few weeks as Resistance has been dropping off so is the other nu stuff, reviews of the Clone Wars episodes have stayed the same. Even that shitty new fallout game has more views than anything Disney on a Star Wars youtube channel.
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