/random/ - random

>>159091

so what kind of medications are you taking?

>>159035

It's pretty obvious when you are. I would play 14+ hours a day for weeks with barely any pause. I would play until I was on the verge of blacking out from sleepiness, that's how I started to effectively sleep during the day and wake up in the evening. I knew I had lectures for my studies to attend, I knew I was screwing up my life, I genuinely wanted to change and do what I knew I had to do, and yet I couldn't stop despite trying. It was my way of coping with my worries, including the very same problem you have, but it only made them worse. I only managed to break out because I moved back to my parents' for 6 months and they helped me.

>>159092

Normally I'm supposed to be taking olanzapine and zoloft. Was prescribed xanax at some point, just for a short while though, and the psychiatrist adds chlorpromazine that is more or less optional to my prescription.

>>159093

That must have been hard. Good for you that you were able to get out of that state.

In general I'm pretty sure, both from mine and others' experience, that the problem of finding friends and especially romantic relationship is a "cat" problem. A cat is an annoying creature: If you try to pet it, it will run away. If you give up trying and go away, you obviously won't pet it. The only chance you get to pet the cat is when you (pretend to) ignore the cat, but also create the opportunity for the cat to come to you for pets. It's not guaranteed to work, but the chance is decent and it's the best you can get.

>>159094

what are these drugs supposed to control/suppress?

>>159095

Thank you. Yes, it was, and I'm grateful it's already in the past.

>>159042

I would advise against suicide. Whether there's an afterlife or not, you'll soon be physically dead for all eternity anyway; there's no need to rush dying. Try to cherish life even when it sucks - then you'll have the motivation to make it not suck. Really - gratefulness and learning to be grateful is a powerful tool against depression.

Also, maybe just try to be out more regularly. Get smaller groceries more often? It helped me - you get used to that pretty quickly. It hasn't become enjoyable for me yet, but the discomfort is a lot lower and it also translates to other social situations.

>>159098

No clue. At that time I had a pretty bad habit of cutting myself with razorblades. I would pat the blood dry with tissues and keep both the tissues and razors safe in a box. And so when they were inspecting my room after I tried to off myself they found about a hundred blades and old stained tissues. Maybe it was related to that, I don't have any idea why i would be prescribed all this shit beside that. My parents find this situation embarrassing so I can't ask them directly about what I'm being medicated for.

>>159099

I do try to go out actually. Mostly for walks in empty spots, because it stresses me out when there's a lot of people around. While it does help me calm down, I feel like shit as soon as I step back into my room. As for suicide,I probably won't attempt anytime soon because I'm extremely disgusted at everything that happened after my first attempt, the fact that I was kicked out of school and had to go back to my parents place, the meds, the nagging of my mother that would tell me that I ruined my life and theirs. It just sucked so bad I decided that I won't do it unless I'm 100% succeeding

>>159096

So i need to work on myself without expecting anything?

>>159035

Better clothes is a good approach. One easy trick is layers, e.g. unzip the sweatshirt, making the T-shirt visible - that's 2 layers instead of one. Accessories are always nice - doesn't have to be jewelry, a visible belt with a somewhat njce buckle already counts. Monotone outfits (different shades of the same color) are easy to get right. Also blue&brown and most shades of green&brown is a good mix. There's also tons of guides on the internet.

And to look more feminine, you can use lighter clothes, as in the weight. You can be completely covered non-see-through, completely fine, but do not add artificial visual bulk to your frame. Also maybe try skirts or dresses?

By "makeup" I didn't mean heavy makeup, but the "clean girl look", i.e. a light "no makeup" makeup - a.seemingly natural look. It's probably the most attractive to guys (I don't know about women though) and certainly the most universal - it composes well with all styles. Maybe that would be comfortable for you?

>>159101

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm also relieved that you aren't going to kill yourself.

If it's any consolation, I feel like shit after most interactions with strangers, even if I really enjoyed it in the moment and thought I nailed the whole interaction, it usually catches up to me later. "You could've said this or that better." I just try to suppress this over-analyzing (because as I said before, it's actively detrimental to your social skills), it helps to remind myself to assume the most optimistic version when there's ambivalence. I'm slowly getting better at this. Doing it mkre often also helps.

>>159102

Not quite. You just have to pretend like you don't expect anything, kind of. Speaking concretely: you have to work on yourself, including appearance and social skills, so that you are comfortable aroud other people and other people are comfortable around you. Then (or at the same time) combine that with regularly showing up somewhere: now you've created a real opportunity for relationships to form, platonic or otherwise. They may arise completely effortlessly, or you might always need to be a bit intentional about it. But this is all opposed to e.g. just trying to befriend strangers on the street or trying to find love on dating apps. I guess it happens sometimes, but it's rare. But this forced approach could be a good (even if quite harsh) way to learn the skills if you're already quite advanced - just don't expect to succeed that way.

>>159091

Why do you avoid visiting?

>>159104

Thanks for the tips. About the makeup well I'm still kind of reluctant, but I'll try to keep that suggestion in mind. Maybe the idea will grow on me eventually. Unfortunately skirts and dresses are a no go for me.

>>159108

It just doesn't work for me. Talking to a stranger that acts like they care about you when they are only in for the money isn't that appealing, it is nothing but glorified hypocrisy. If you take into consideration the fact that my answers are generally short (sentences ranging between 1 and 10 words) and the complete lack of eye contact, it'll be quite obvious that the sessions mostly consist of what you'd call awkward silence. A complete waste of time that I'd much rather spend somewhere else.

medications aren't necessary......it is more than obvious most medications are scams......most psychiatric medication solves nothing.....no intelligent person uses it.....

They aren't just unnecessary. They are useless. Do not fall for Big Pharma.

>>159203

you don't need medications.....everyone can heal without medications......the medications worsen your conditions rather than make them better....

Psychiatric medicines are no different from illegal drugs.

>>159213

how are they no different from illegal drugs?

They do the same thing. They do weird things to your brain and target neurotransmitters, which are exactly what drugs do. They release chemicals. They change things about your brain and can change your entire personality and shift your interests. They are addictive too.

>>159215

did you learn about neurotransmitters in university?

No, like you said. Knowledge is useless because everything can be looked up.

>>159224

which search engine did you use to look it?

Google. The monopoly,

>>158639

I take caffeine pills before to talking to people, it helps temporarily for an hour or two after which an amplified wave of anxiety gradually comes into existence.

It doesn't really help in any meaningful way, anxiety still persists throughout. It just makes saying or acting out what's in my head easier.

>>159235

how do you obtain caffeine pills? Where do you purchase it?

>>159242

Amazon, I buy from nutricost they sell containers that have 500 servings containing 200mg.

>>159245

how long does it take to ship from Amazon to your location?

>>159247

why?

>>159249

ok, sorry for asking......so why not just order from your local pharmacy?

>>159250

just for the sake of convenience, if I couldn't buy them from there then I'd probably buy it from a pharmacy also I don't know if they do deliveries and I don't like going outside unless it's necessary.

>>159235

That's dangerous. You can OD on it. It's a drug.

>>159254

what is wrong with going outside?

>>159260

Nothing, I just don't like it personally for the most part.

I couldn't leave without puking or feeling extreme amounts of anxiety for a period of my life. I was severely underweight because eating near people was near impossible for me as well. I'd puke days before having to do something that would force me to interact with others.

After "fixing" that to a certain point I've found that the things most people go outside to do to be extremely boring for me. I've also started to see most "normal" people as subhuman which helps a lot since it allows me to think more clearly at times but I also recognize that its a coping mechanism developed no matter how hard I try to rationalize it.

I don't see myself going somewhere outside of necessity unless its to meet someone that I've befriended online and even then its extremely unlikely.

I won't rant any more I don't want to derail this thread x_x

A small update:

I've looked up a lot of stuff and I think I'm going to try phenibut as it seems to be on the cheaper side, along with the caffeine pills someone mentioned. It's probably not a good idea, but I could barely get through it today and it's only Monday. I'll try to work on myself in parallel, but I really don't think that my volition will be enough. Planning to maybe use the phenibut on school days exclusively. If anyone knows about this topic or maybe a better alternative please enlighten me

>>159325

Allowing me to make sweet love to you may help.

>>158639

Use random drugs on the streets, inject yourself to doom and become the drug addicts community pussy. You're a retarded junkie and deserve nothing good coming your way. Your parents got you food on the table, paid for your roof and all you do is look for drugs. I would tell you to get a life but you dont even have one to begin with

>>159432

>>159433

stfu spammer

>>159434

Discord is highly suspicious.....it could be another honeypot.....

>>159429

<I would tell you to get a life but you dont even have one to begin with

...You tell people to get a life if they don't have one to begin with. Low iq monkey

>control + f

>tits or gtfo

>zero results

What is wrong with you newfaggots? Turn on some captcha and get rid of you fake plastic human beings already. There's no way this is a real thread if no one in all those replies posted that. I keep seeing the shit in multiple threads too, le female bait, and no one is posting this age old 'tits or gtfo' jab. Your sex is not relevant unless you are making yourself into essentially a porn star. You wanna be equal then don't bring up your sex in an all male place. Imageboards were always stastisically male and when not random tripfagging females would attention whore as verbally you are vapid and thus all you are is an image to fawn over if you want to be this way, feminine. Ever notice how the men are funny and the women are not? You don't have anything to say unless you're indeed a masculine female and think like a male in which case your lesbian ass, if real, would be shitting up the place with jokes or dark logic, as in real talk, rahter than go "woe is me give me attentionz pwease uwu"

>>159447

Imageboard subculture is a joke, I have no wish to adopt it. I come here because it's arguably less retarded than most social media and sometimes you can find a gem here.

Out of all the idiotisms in your post, I want to touch on the least dumb one. Why do you assume OP wants equality? Have you allowed reddit-feminism to have monopoly in shaping your beliefs about what "all" women want?

>>159178

I see, thanks for sharing.

I want to defend therapy a little. Imagine this: you really love being a therapist, you care about the people you're helping even if they're strangers to you at the beginning, and you want to help as many people as much as possible. Therefore, you decide to do it full time. But now you have no time for a side job to earn a living, so you must take money for your sessions.

Are they actually in for the money in practice? Yeah, especially if their price is high. But also, the majority of therapists do care about their clients. Of course they care less than your friends or family, but consider this: a therapist or psychiatrist is just a special kind of doctor. You don't really need the doctor to care about you as long as they cure (or at least treat) your condition. And most of them want to do a good job at least.

Much of the therapy success comes from your own attitude, what you want to get from it, what you want to accomplish, etc. Have you read about it? It should be the therapist's job to explain this to you, but you know how it is in practice - you often have to take the lead when it comes to your health. It's also very common to "not click" with the therapist, in that case you just look for new ones until you have a good match.

I'm trying to convince you because in situations like yours, it's virtually impossible to pull yourself by your own bootstraps. You need help from others, and your family doesn't seem to provide it (from what I gathered), and you don't have a close friend, so therapy may be your only option.

Your attitude is really important as well. I can speak from my own experience: I was stuck for several years in my addiction before I genuinely accepted help from my parents. Of course I dreamed about success, but now in hindsight I see that I feared that even if I tried my best, I could fail. So effectively, I didn't try at all and sat in the comfort of my perceived victimhood, grasping at every excuse why it was impossible for me to actually try my 100%, and finding solace in deluding myself that "I would for sure succeed if I tried, I'm just unable to try". I didn't genuinely want help then, I only thought I did. So ask yourself for real: what do you actually want? Do you want to get better? Or do you only think you want to get better when in fact, it's just an absolution of your idleness in misery?

On the bright side, I'm experiencing right now that I was right - I can succeed easily when I try my best. So yeah, it was worth it.

>>159177

Can I ask why dresses are a no-go? Just out of curiosity.

>>159466

Therapists are useless. All doctors are useless. I have to Google everything a doctor says. They explain it so vaguely and act like a genius when in reality they were just overschooled. They act completely confident without any doubt. A Google search works better than a doctor's recommendation. Therapy is fake. You "heal" because it just stops. Nothing lasts forever.

>>159462

OP does not want equality nor does an imageboard that is male ran want equality nor are either capable of equality. You don't even understand the point of tits or gtfo. It's not relevant unless you're making yourself into an object, your sex is not, as everyone is supposed to be male. Women, like niggers, want more than equal rights. In the past they had less rights so as to keep them in check. Just becuase someone says something doens't mean they're being honest, like kikes saying they're pro left wing when they are really right wing just as niggers and feminists are as none of them believe in equality any more than you do, ergo you're the one that has so much in common with such people. It's not about all women, women that pretend to be men don't count as being part of that ilk, the anti-equality attention whoring women ilk, but OP is not anti-female if she's going to sit there and be female and admit it. Not only all of that but she could be a man until proven otherwise so that was part of the tits or gtfo 'rule', otherwise it's irrelvant, the sex. It's bad bait.

>>159471

Kikes are left wing. The libs opposing isreal is just an inter-ideological conflict alike harry potter author being shunned. Everything about kikes is left wing.

>>159482

Jews control both the left and right wings. There is no difference between the left and right wing.

>>159483

Can we agree that they have a clear left wing bias and have taken over the US and Europe?