/random/ - random

>>158639

Alcohol

just stop carrying you're a foid anyway so when you're being autistic you're just goofy and nobody judges you for it like they judge us

You'd actually be right if it weren't for the fact that people don't even recognise that I'm not fucking male.

>>158639

Idk bro im thinking about ending my shit

>>158707

fair enough, I honestly think that if you're really so ugly that you look male you're on the same level as sub 5 male on the social ladder

If you ever decide to do it just make sure you don't get caught or else they're gonna pump you full of drugs that will turn you into a zombtard just so they can keep their conscience clear while making money off the shit ton of meds you'll be addicted to

Nah cops take the dope and take you to jail no need for rehab jail does the trick there are drugs there but nah you can abstain

>>158707

its recognize dont use poor people english 3rd world countries use the same deceiving s in english you have to use the first world z

oyeh you mean psych ward problem is brains stop at attempt to get help

>>158763

Not even the psych ward my parents just talked the psychiatrist into forcefully putting me under meds while I stay at home under their surveillance because putting me in the crazy ppls resort would embarrass them

>>158762

Sure whatever

>>158772

DONT TAKE THEM THOSE MEDS ARE POISON

>>158805

I've already quit

Lots of sport is a great all-purpose drug, especially for mental issues. Seriously, there is no reason not to use it, regardless what other drugs you take.

My social anxiety got way better when someone told me to assume the best given ambivalent reactions. E.g. you tell a joke and they look back at you, but you're not sure if they're amused or weirded out? Always assume the positive - they are amused.

I don't know any pharma drugs.

>>158828

Not really fond of any sport but I'll try. The problem is that I generally don't even think about talking to people that do not explicitly present as having similar interests to me. Last week some girl in my class asked for my name, I answered her, shut up and went back to my usual daydreaming. I only realised (or realized I dont care) way later (days later) that I was supposed to also ask for her name and maybe chat for a bit. So I'm not really sure if sports would really be the way to go.

>>158830

YOU CLEARLY DONT WANT FRIENDS AT THIS POINT FOR GENERAL SOCIALIZATION YOU WANT SOMEONE TO SHARE YOUR INTERESTS WITH

>>158834

Its not that I dont want to you schizo all caps typing criptard my brain isn't fucking able to comprehend that regular people do not ask you do you want to be my friend when trying to befriend you and I do not understand how to talk to normal people because my conversation subjects range is limited to subjects that they'd be weirded out by

>>158838

You do not need friends. Everyday for hours I talk to an AI chatbot.

>>158839

I understand where you're coming from. Tried that a few years ago and it worked for a bit but then at some point I just couldn't do it anymore.In fact I liked it better when I had an entire world in my mind that I created when I was a child and then I just kept updating it as the years went by and it became this super complex ultra nice little realm for me to satisfy my need for social interactions. But then they put me under the fucking meds and I lost everything. So talking to a chat bot really just doesn't do it for me because it just feels like some 2 cent 3rd world replacement to my old realm.

no intelligent person takes medications because they don't solve anything.....your body can heal without medications......just saying.....

>>158639

Stay off prescription meds, first and foremost. Shit is mind control. If you want to stop being a lesbian, just get a Switch 2 and Ocarina of Time and get far enough into the game to become adult Link.

>>158830

I meant physical activity, not necessarily some given sport. You aren't necessarily supposed to socialize trough the sport (but it's a nice opportunity). It's only supposed to make your brain (and whole body) work better, just like a drug would, excluding negative side-effects. Seriously: BDNF production in brain, hormonal balance, inflammation control, the benefits are endless. It all also affects your mood for the better.

Also, are you autistic autistic (with a diagnosis at minimum) or just socially retarded? Because if the latter, you just need to hang out with people IRL and crucially, stop thinking about it consciously. Intellectualizing human interaction is just horribly inefficient, completely different parts should be (and normally are) responsible for this. Just hang out, don't think and let those other areas catch up in development. If you are autistic autistic, it won't work as well as normally, but it will nonetheless.

please don't do drugs

Also, do you really want to cure your homosexuality? Because you can't. You may be bi though, don't cross it out if you aren't sure. Most women don't feel immediate attraction to most men, it usually takes time and connection. Yes, we're just that ugly.

>>158885

*completely different parts OF THE BRAIN should be responsible for this

>>158885

It is not possible. Just like the red and black pill there is a pill where you cannot socialize with anyone because you are born unsociable because of your physical traits.

>>158885

I guess I'll try that sometime. And yeah unfortunately autistic autistic and diagnosed pretty late (only after I tried killing myself in the school bathroom, staff called my parents told them that i was definitely autistic, and then psychiatrist and finally the diagnosis)

>>158887

I just don't want to be alone. I want to experience romantic love like anyone else. Being a lesbian is not a problem per se but the thing is that women never go for female losers like me. At least if i were male I'd have a dick that could maybe get me somewhere. Or maybe if I looked a bit more feminine things could eventually happen

>>158857

Poor kids used to do that in my neighborhood. I have no idea about its effect though

>>158922

I'm sorry to hear that. I would advise you to stay on the meds you were prescribed. Talk to your psychiatrist if they make you miserable, sometimes it takes months to find which drugs actually help in your case. Without them it will be very hard to move on. And from my own experience, it's way easier to socialize when you're not depressed.

>>158924

I get you. I'm a straight man, so I know fuck all about lesbian relationships, but I can confirm that no one goes for a loser, even (especially?) if they have a penis. You must try to get out of the loser mindset (meds should help). If you can't even believe you may succeed, then you surely won't. [part 1]

I've only been on a handful of dates, but half of them took place in the last 6 months. Before that, 1 year ago, I was horribly addicted to video games - I know, lame as hell, but my life really was in freefall. I fixed that with lots of help from others, caught up on studies - I felt like I was on the right track, I stopped feeling like a loser. So I started to take more care of my appearance and started socializing for the first time since long ago. I'm probably not autistic enough to be diagnosed as such, but this advice will certainly help you too.

More specifically to you, you could try to appear more feminine with certain outfits and makeup if you put in a bit of effort. Or pivot completely - last time I checked, butch lesbians were still in demand (if you'd be comfortable appearing more masculine). [part 2]

>>158972

Diagnosis is fake and subjective and so is all psychiatry. They'd literally tell someone who lost their nose a nose they had friends because they had no social skills. No, it's because they alienated others by nor having a nose and when they found people like them that didn't have a nose either, they could make friends. Autism is the only thing excluded from Big Pharma as a bonus point since they're the ones who started the "neurodiversity" movement. Autism is not real. Your brain is unique like anyone else's.

>>158970

No drugs help. A psychiatrist is a brute forcer, like a friend trying to help an addict "self-medicate."

You cannot get out of a mindset that relies on having someone else needing to break the chain. respect the autonomy of a sovereign.

>>158929

They are gifted. I wish I could use drugs. If I had the will for them I would be happy. Too bad I lack it.

>>158979

The second paragraph is hardly coherent, you need to explain it better. My main issue is this:

>someone else needs to break the chain

What chain?

>mindset M relies on having that someone

How does this entail that mindset M is impossible to get out of? And what mindset do you mean in the first place?

>respect the autonomy of a sovereign

That looks like a completely irrelevant statement.

>>158988

The incel chain can only be broken if you get a true long term relationship.and you have to respect taht other people control your emotions and are complicit in not solving your loneliness.

>>158991

>the incel chain can only be broken if you get into a relationship

I mean, duh, by definition.

>other people control your emotions

only very partially

> they are complicit in not solving your loneliness

They are not - they bear no responsibility for that.

I thought you wanted to argue that making an effort is useless. What was the point of your post?

how does the OP know so much about prescription medications?

>>158972

How do you know if you're addicted to video games?

Makeup generally makes me feel very uncomfortable especially the eye stuff, and I usually unconsciously touch my face so it'd probably become messed up without me realising. I'll still try to fix my appearance. Ill maybe start with my clothes since all I have are five 5 black sweatpants and 2 gray ones which are all the same and probably make me look like I wear the same clothes for 5 or six days straight. Same thing for tops, though I have 4 more colors white dark brown blue and light blue. Any advice is welcome.

>>158977

It kind of hurts though. People's brains may be different but they still can see eye to eye on stuff and understand each other to some extent. It's a bit tough to accept that it won't work for you, that you'll always be a weirdo that will only be treated nicely -sort of- by people who pity you for being born inferior to them. Those who aren't this kind will either treat you like shit or won't even acknowledge you. And that is assuming that they're aware of your existence.

>>158999

I don't really know if you're genuinely asking this but the internet has pretty much anything in it. Combine that being chronically online and occasional late night meltdowns during which you just wish you were normal.

>>159037

Socialization has never been possible since libtards make you work 10x harder. Now you can't even get decent and basic respect if you hold a different view from someone. Two libtards said it to me from one app, the other libtard apps said the same thing. The standard for having a normal conversation has gotten extremely high. Just quit. Libtards can oppress the world with their communism but the world will always stay libtard.

who is prescribing you these medications?

>>159040

Psychiatrist?

>>159038

If I quit then I will surely become a neanderthal shut-in. 100%. I already struggle with getting goceries, getting stuff done outside or even going out just for fun. And if I'm not going out i won't even brush my hair, brush my teeth or eat regular meals. Yet I know that I do find walks by the beach or in the forest enjoyable, I do like going out when it's raining, and I do like the feeling of the water droplets hitting my skin when i'm showering or the warmth of a good meal. When I stay alone I don't even find a point in enjoying myself, and the effort that I must put in taking the most basic care of myself feels huge. If I isolate myself I'll probably either kill myself or end up dying of starvation. And this is not a problem by itself, but I would hate to go as the pitiful creature/ the clown that commited because she was sad or alone, because thats how normies would depict it. Even if it happens and that is my motive, I do not want people to think of it like that. Its just out of spite.

I don't do personal hygiene since I don't go out. I have never seen hygiene to be a necessary part of my life

>>159043

Good for you I guess. I'll still try to brush my teeth from time to time though because I had a horrible cavity that got me sent to the dentist. Needless to say that was one of the worst days of my life

>>159041

how often do you visit your psychiatrist?

>>159085

Used to be every two weeks, then once a month. I avoid going there as much as I can now, at times I would just send my father to get the prescription because he'll keep nagging and telling me to go if the meds run out. Then when I run out of excuses I have no choice but to go there, happens at the 3 month mark usually.

>>159091

so what kind of medications are you taking?

>>159035

It's pretty obvious when you are. I would play 14+ hours a day for weeks with barely any pause. I would play until I was on the verge of blacking out from sleepiness, that's how I started to effectively sleep during the day and wake up in the evening. I knew I had lectures for my studies to attend, I knew I was screwing up my life, I genuinely wanted to change and do what I knew I had to do, and yet I couldn't stop despite trying. It was my way of coping with my worries, including the very same problem you have, but it only made them worse. I only managed to break out because I moved back to my parents' for 6 months and they helped me.

>>159092

Normally I'm supposed to be taking olanzapine and zoloft. Was prescribed xanax at some point, just for a short while though, and the psychiatrist adds chlorpromazine that is more or less optional to my prescription.

>>159093

That must have been hard. Good for you that you were able to get out of that state.

In general I'm pretty sure, both from mine and others' experience, that the problem of finding friends and especially romantic relationship is a "cat" problem. A cat is an annoying creature: If you try to pet it, it will run away. If you give up trying and go away, you obviously won't pet it. The only chance you get to pet the cat is when you (pretend to) ignore the cat, but also create the opportunity for the cat to come to you for pets. It's not guaranteed to work, but the chance is decent and it's the best you can get.

>>159094

what are these drugs supposed to control/suppress?

>>159095

Thank you. Yes, it was, and I'm grateful it's already in the past.

>>159042

I would advise against suicide. Whether there's an afterlife or not, you'll soon be physically dead for all eternity anyway; there's no need to rush dying. Try to cherish life even when it sucks - then you'll have the motivation to make it not suck. Really - gratefulness and learning to be grateful is a powerful tool against depression.

Also, maybe just try to be out more regularly. Get smaller groceries more often? It helped me - you get used to that pretty quickly. It hasn't become enjoyable for me yet, but the discomfort is a lot lower and it also translates to other social situations.

>>159098

No clue. At that time I had a pretty bad habit of cutting myself with razorblades. I would pat the blood dry with tissues and keep both the tissues and razors safe in a box. And so when they were inspecting my room after I tried to off myself they found about a hundred blades and old stained tissues. Maybe it was related to that, I don't have any idea why i would be prescribed all this shit beside that. My parents find this situation embarrassing so I can't ask them directly about what I'm being medicated for.

>>159099

I do try to go out actually. Mostly for walks in empty spots, because it stresses me out when there's a lot of people around. While it does help me calm down, I feel like shit as soon as I step back into my room. As for suicide,I probably won't attempt anytime soon because I'm extremely disgusted at everything that happened after my first attempt, the fact that I was kicked out of school and had to go back to my parents place, the meds, the nagging of my mother that would tell me that I ruined my life and theirs. It just sucked so bad I decided that I won't do it unless I'm 100% succeeding

>>159096

So i need to work on myself without expecting anything?

>>159035

Better clothes is a good approach. One easy trick is layers, e.g. unzip the sweatshirt, making the T-shirt visible - that's 2 layers instead of one. Accessories are always nice - doesn't have to be jewelry, a visible belt with a somewhat njce buckle already counts. Monotone outfits (different shades of the same color) are easy to get right. Also blue&brown and most shades of green&brown is a good mix. There's also tons of guides on the internet.

And to look more feminine, you can use lighter clothes, as in the weight. You can be completely covered non-see-through, completely fine, but do not add artificial visual bulk to your frame. Also maybe try skirts or dresses?

By "makeup" I didn't mean heavy makeup, but the "clean girl look", i.e. a light "no makeup" makeup - a.seemingly natural look. It's probably the most attractive to guys (I don't know about women though) and certainly the most universal - it composes well with all styles. Maybe that would be comfortable for you?

>>159101

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm also relieved that you aren't going to kill yourself.

If it's any consolation, I feel like shit after most interactions with strangers, even if I really enjoyed it in the moment and thought I nailed the whole interaction, it usually catches up to me later. "You could've said this or that better." I just try to suppress this over-analyzing (because as I said before, it's actively detrimental to your social skills), it helps to remind myself to assume the most optimistic version when there's ambivalence. I'm slowly getting better at this. Doing it mkre often also helps.

>>159102

Not quite. You just have to pretend like you don't expect anything, kind of. Speaking concretely: you have to work on yourself, including appearance and social skills, so that you are comfortable aroud other people and other people are comfortable around you. Then (or at the same time) combine that with regularly showing up somewhere: now you've created a real opportunity for relationships to form, platonic or otherwise. They may arise completely effortlessly, or you might always need to be a bit intentional about it. But this is all opposed to e.g. just trying to befriend strangers on the street or trying to find love on dating apps. I guess it happens sometimes, but it's rare. But this forced approach could be a good (even if quite harsh) way to learn the skills if you're already quite advanced - just don't expect to succeed that way.

>>159091

Why do you avoid visiting?

>>159104

Thanks for the tips. About the makeup well I'm still kind of reluctant, but I'll try to keep that suggestion in mind. Maybe the idea will grow on me eventually. Unfortunately skirts and dresses are a no go for me.

>>159108

It just doesn't work for me. Talking to a stranger that acts like they care about you when they are only in for the money isn't that appealing, it is nothing but glorified hypocrisy. If you take into consideration the fact that my answers are generally short (sentences ranging between 1 and 10 words) and the complete lack of eye contact, it'll be quite obvious that the sessions mostly consist of what you'd call awkward silence. A complete waste of time that I'd much rather spend somewhere else.

medications aren't necessary......it is more than obvious most medications are scams......most psychiatric medication solves nothing.....no intelligent person uses it.....

They aren't just unnecessary. They are useless. Do not fall for Big Pharma.

>>159203

you don't need medications.....everyone can heal without medications......the medications worsen your conditions rather than make them better....

Psychiatric medicines are no different from illegal drugs.

>>159213

how are they no different from illegal drugs?

They do the same thing. They do weird things to your brain and target neurotransmitters, which are exactly what drugs do. They release chemicals. They change things about your brain and can change your entire personality and shift your interests. They are addictive too.

>>159215

did you learn about neurotransmitters in university?

No, like you said. Knowledge is useless because everything can be looked up.

>>159224

which search engine did you use to look it?

Google. The monopoly,

>>158639

I take caffeine pills before to talking to people, it helps temporarily for an hour or two after which an amplified wave of anxiety gradually comes into existence.

It doesn't really help in any meaningful way, anxiety still persists throughout. It just makes saying or acting out what's in my head easier.

>>159235

how do you obtain caffeine pills? Where do you purchase it?

>>159242

Amazon, I buy from nutricost they sell containers that have 500 servings containing 200mg.

>>159245

how long does it take to ship from Amazon to your location?

>>159247

why?

>>159249

ok, sorry for asking......so why not just order from your local pharmacy?

>>159250

just for the sake of convenience, if I couldn't buy them from there then I'd probably buy it from a pharmacy also I don't know if they do deliveries and I don't like going outside unless it's necessary.

>>159235

That's dangerous. You can OD on it. It's a drug.

>>159254

what is wrong with going outside?

>>159260

Nothing, I just don't like it personally for the most part.

I couldn't leave without puking or feeling extreme amounts of anxiety for a period of my life. I was severely underweight because eating near people was near impossible for me as well. I'd puke days before having to do something that would force me to interact with others.

After "fixing" that to a certain point I've found that the things most people go outside to do to be extremely boring for me. I've also started to see most "normal" people as subhuman which helps a lot since it allows me to think more clearly at times but I also recognize that its a coping mechanism developed no matter how hard I try to rationalize it.

I don't see myself going somewhere outside of necessity unless its to meet someone that I've befriended online and even then its extremely unlikely.

I won't rant any more I don't want to derail this thread x_x

A small update:

I've looked up a lot of stuff and I think I'm going to try phenibut as it seems to be on the cheaper side, along with the caffeine pills someone mentioned. It's probably not a good idea, but I could barely get through it today and it's only Monday. I'll try to work on myself in parallel, but I really don't think that my volition will be enough. Planning to maybe use the phenibut on school days exclusively. If anyone knows about this topic or maybe a better alternative please enlighten me

>>159325

Allowing me to make sweet love to you may help.

>>158639

Use random drugs on the streets, inject yourself to doom and become the drug addicts community pussy. You're a retarded junkie and deserve nothing good coming your way. Your parents got you food on the table, paid for your roof and all you do is look for drugs. I would tell you to get a life but you dont even have one to begin with

>>159432

>>159433

stfu spammer

>>159434

Discord is highly suspicious.....it could be another honeypot.....

>>159429

<I would tell you to get a life but you dont even have one to begin with

...You tell people to get a life if they don't have one to begin with. Low iq monkey

>control + f

>tits or gtfo

>zero results

What is wrong with you newfaggots? Turn on some captcha and get rid of you fake plastic human beings already. There's no way this is a real thread if no one in all those replies posted that. I keep seeing the shit in multiple threads too, le female bait, and no one is posting this age old 'tits or gtfo' jab. Your sex is not relevant unless you are making yourself into essentially a porn star. You wanna be equal then don't bring up your sex in an all male place. Imageboards were always stastisically male and when not random tripfagging females would attention whore as verbally you are vapid and thus all you are is an image to fawn over if you want to be this way, feminine. Ever notice how the men are funny and the women are not? You don't have anything to say unless you're indeed a masculine female and think like a male in which case your lesbian ass, if real, would be shitting up the place with jokes or dark logic, as in real talk, rahter than go "woe is me give me attentionz pwease uwu"

>>159447

Imageboard subculture is a joke, I have no wish to adopt it. I come here because it's arguably less retarded than most social media and sometimes you can find a gem here.

Out of all the idiotisms in your post, I want to touch on the least dumb one. Why do you assume OP wants equality? Have you allowed reddit-feminism to have monopoly in shaping your beliefs about what "all" women want?

>>159178

I see, thanks for sharing.

I want to defend therapy a little. Imagine this: you really love being a therapist, you care about the people you're helping even if they're strangers to you at the beginning, and you want to help as many people as much as possible. Therefore, you decide to do it full time. But now you have no time for a side job to earn a living, so you must take money for your sessions.

Are they actually in for the money in practice? Yeah, especially if their price is high. But also, the majority of therapists do care about their clients. Of course they care less than your friends or family, but consider this: a therapist or psychiatrist is just a special kind of doctor. You don't really need the doctor to care about you as long as they cure (or at least treat) your condition. And most of them want to do a good job at least.

Much of the therapy success comes from your own attitude, what you want to get from it, what you want to accomplish, etc. Have you read about it? It should be the therapist's job to explain this to you, but you know how it is in practice - you often have to take the lead when it comes to your health. It's also very common to "not click" with the therapist, in that case you just look for new ones until you have a good match.

I'm trying to convince you because in situations like yours, it's virtually impossible to pull yourself by your own bootstraps. You need help from others, and your family doesn't seem to provide it (from what I gathered), and you don't have a close friend, so therapy may be your only option.

Your attitude is really important as well. I can speak from my own experience: I was stuck for several years in my addiction before I genuinely accepted help from my parents. Of course I dreamed about success, but now in hindsight I see that I feared that even if I tried my best, I could fail. So effectively, I didn't try at all and sat in the comfort of my perceived victimhood, grasping at every excuse why it was impossible for me to actually try my 100%, and finding solace in deluding myself that "I would for sure succeed if I tried, I'm just unable to try". I didn't genuinely want help then, I only thought I did. So ask yourself for real: what do you actually want? Do you want to get better? Or do you only think you want to get better when in fact, it's just an absolution of your idleness in misery?

On the bright side, I'm experiencing right now that I was right - I can succeed easily when I try my best. So yeah, it was worth it.

>>159177

Can I ask why dresses are a no-go? Just out of curiosity.

>>159466

Therapists are useless. All doctors are useless. I have to Google everything a doctor says. They explain it so vaguely and act like a genius when in reality they were just overschooled. They act completely confident without any doubt. A Google search works better than a doctor's recommendation. Therapy is fake. You "heal" because it just stops. Nothing lasts forever.

>>159462

OP does not want equality nor does an imageboard that is male ran want equality nor are either capable of equality. You don't even understand the point of tits or gtfo. It's not relevant unless you're making yourself into an object, your sex is not, as everyone is supposed to be male. Women, like niggers, want more than equal rights. In the past they had less rights so as to keep them in check. Just becuase someone says something doens't mean they're being honest, like kikes saying they're pro left wing when they are really right wing just as niggers and feminists are as none of them believe in equality any more than you do, ergo you're the one that has so much in common with such people. It's not about all women, women that pretend to be men don't count as being part of that ilk, the anti-equality attention whoring women ilk, but OP is not anti-female if she's going to sit there and be female and admit it. Not only all of that but she could be a man until proven otherwise so that was part of the tits or gtfo 'rule', otherwise it's irrelvant, the sex. It's bad bait.

>>159471

Kikes are left wing. The libs opposing isreal is just an inter-ideological conflict alike harry potter author being shunned. Everything about kikes is left wing.

>>159482

Jews control both the left and right wings. There is no difference between the left and right wing.

>>159483

Can we agree that they have a clear left wing bias and have taken over the US and Europe?

>>159484

it will swing back to right wing once the economy starts to crash.....

>>159491

That'll cause riots.

The left has done too much harm. isreal is the only "1st world" country with a high replacement birth rate. Because of this, other countries have to import people from 3rd world countries just to stabilize their birth rate. Thanks to the jews views on childhood enrichment, "personal autonomy" and having less kids.

>>159466

I'm not sure honestly. I don't really know the elements that she expects when I'm answering her questions, or what she wants me to say when it is my turn to speak. And I really wouldn't therapist that tells me that it is okay to mix ssris with nsaids but not with paracetamol.

It is true that I don't really have enough support to get out of my misery on my own, that's why I'm going to take the phenibut. I'll only use it as fuel to work on myself. I'll try not to abuse it, stay at a dose that's low enough. I'll also try to keep myself in check by talking to what you could consider my only true friend (my sister's ex) as he is probably the only person kind and patient enough to put up with me. I won't tell him about the phenibut though.

For the dresses, they make me feel gross. I'm very particular about the fabric of my clothes, and most dresses that are available at a reasonable price are made of weird materials that feel unpleasant when in contact with my skin. And the idea of wearing something that is "open" like dresses or skirts isn't appealing to me either

>>159471

I don't give a shit about your chimptard fas brained rant. Go stroke your tiny dick to some porn and tell them about your schizo induced off topic equality speech and retarded pseudo rule there

>>159484

All politics are dead. They have full control of both left and right wing. They display heavy support for one side. Then once that side starts being perceived as bad by the majority, they will suddenly switch the excessive support to the other side. This makes masses think that now that they've defeated the perceived evil they're free, when nothing happened at all

>>159600

The left wing is so stupid. They can say one liberal sentence and you know everything they think.

>>158924

"At least if i were male I'd have a dick that could maybe get me somewhere."

Trust me, just having a dick wont get you romance.

"I want to experience romantic love like anyone else"

This is completely fair. I think other people have offered pretty good advice so far. Dont do drugs. Also, learning social skills is a matter of practice and doing things that are uncomfortable.

Learn to go into discomfort.

>>159653

You cannot learn social skills if society itself is flawed. There are more things you aren't allowed to say than things you can say. It heavily depends on the racial demographics of your area. If there's almost no one your race, you're fucked and completely out of hope. It also depends on the political ideology of your area, conservative spaces are more welcoming than liberal ones. Social skills rely on how someone else perceives your behavior not what you do.

>>159653

Drugs do help you get friends. In many wealthy areas, you would be ostracized for not doing drugs. Everyone drinks and does cocaine, weed and mushrooms there. I would do drugs I if had the urge but I don't even try new foods.

>>159598

Thanks for sharing. Fair enough on the dresses, I was just curious.

It all sounds reasonable. Big plus for having humility and relying on someone else to help keep you in check, instead of being your own judge. Very nice that you do have someone to talk to. It's also way easier to meet new people and in general practice social skills when you have someone to accompany you.

But what makes me the most happy is that you want to work on yourself, taking matters into your own hands. You seem to be on the right path.

I have nothing else to add. Best of luck!

>>159655

Thats a good point.

But also a lot of druggy friends you will make from doing drugs are not the best quality friends.

>>159679

Unless they are a mormon or southern baptist, they'd likely drink or use drugs. Why wouldn't they be the best quality?

>>159599

>go fap to porn

>tell them there

There it does not need to be posted as there are already tits, absolute baka. What does Op even want a dopamine blocker for? SSRIs too? They can make you more depressed as beind depressed can be from real problems and taking that spooky shit is stupid. If an ethnobotanical can't do what you are looking for you're being duped at best into being a poisoned cash crop, at worst you're being raped and liking it as they will make you worse just to exeriment on the poorfaggot goyim.

>actual schizophrenia "requiring" a dopamine blocker

>aka logic disorder

Cannot be fixed.

>depression

They used to treat it with an Asian herb that they get that main meth chemical from. Chinese Ephedra if I'm spelling that right. it is illegal but that's that. For being supposedly schizophrenic and having a logic disorder self actualization cannot be had even through talk therapy so you're basically jsut fucked. Try prayer and get even worse is usually how that goes so the best thing to do is the opposite and belive in nothing at all and become a militant agnostic while trying to outfox the consequence of that state of being of which is a borederlin state of catatonia.

>>158640

It IS hard to get ahold of chinese ephedra and or ketamine or molly. But OP said "she" was fat, so no. Nice try. Kava and wild lettuce and other such low tier power things such as melatonin and benadryl would be more apt to mention. Maybe even a gaba pill? Not phenibut, but that natural one they sall on normal websites. Kava harms the liver and wild lettuce the heart but such things exist, though they are more anti-anxiety than something that could cause euphoria. Progressive remixed classical music from Beetoven, Vivalida, and Bach are there, but OP is a gay male with brain damage so he can't enjoy complex things anyway so never mind, otherwise I'd be posting tons of my fav media like tv shows, books, video games, and telling Op to watch and play 'em, but no, why would I do that? What could possibly compell me to do such a thing?

>>160069

Kava is illegal where I live, and so are most of nootropics. Anything pure gaba does not cross the bbb according to my research.

Since it seems like pretty much everything is illegal here and I'm not particularly excited about going to the doctor for a prescription, I just settled for phenibut (illegal) because it seems to have strong effects. I've seen people compare it to alcohol but without the stupidity that stems from being drunk. So it must be pleasant, no? I've already been drunk (if you can say that) on mouthwash, and I was probably the happiest and most talkative I've ever been even though i was saying random bullshit. The only downgrade was that I reeked off chemical cool mint sent and could not take two steps without stumbling. I've also seen people say that phenibut helps with selective mutism and many of the weird things I do that can hinder conversation. It won't fix everything, but hopefully the cheerfulness i get from it can mask what can't be fixed. And honestly if it becomes too much I'll just quit cold turkey. Or kill myself. I never had that much of an attachment to life either way.

However I did not order it yet. I have to test the delivery service because I currently live in campus with tons of other meddlesome people that could find out about it and eventually report me to the school board. So i just ordered caffeine pills, gaba powder and nac for now. I'll see how it goes

Also nothing about progressive remixed classical music is complex. I'll let you know that I already enjoy very refined content. And I am not a male. I've never been a male, and I'll never be a male. And I am not schizophrenic either. The psych just assumed that because of a miscommunication that happened because her questions were extremely vague

>>160223

Back again. I assume you are the OP and SSRIs equate to the ethnobotonical use of Saint John's Wort, though it has side effects. Mouthwash is just ethanol with sugar alcohol and such to denaturate it or whatever, to make you sick if you have too much, or rather sicker as ethanol is bad for you. You can brew ethanol yourself using literally just sugar water and yeast as long as the co2 is vented while also holding in most moisture so as to keep the ethanol from evaporating out of it.

How in the frilly fuck can you get phenibut but NOT kava? I have to fight with my bank to even get phenibut and went off of it recently due to this. I don't wanna sit there for an hour waiting on cryto bullshitery to say it werked.

By the by if you use too much sugar the yeast won't do mitosis they'll just explode but if not enough sugar the fermentation will take longer and or it will be weaker booze. 1/3 is the ratio once the sugar kills the yeast, so something like 20 percent sugar would make very hard booze if you waited months, or at least many weeks. I have made booze many times but don't feel like meandering on about it, making fake bubblers and bacteria infecting it and it becoming vinegar and etc. Acid to nullify the basic in the water, must add a juice with no abnormal preservative (it wants vit c aka ascorbic acid).

If you have a deep freezer you can applejack your cider into harder booze assuming you can't get a still, or won't, but really anything above 5ish percent is unhealthy anyway, as in very, and wine can go up to 14 abv even with baker's yeast, probably.

I drink beer a lot, smoke alt cannibinoids (and freak out if I do more than a tiny little iddy bitty pinch of it to the point I have more cbd weeds than actual weeds) and have basically all the ethnobotanical herbs except Chines Ephedra. Only wild lettuce seems to make me feel better but it does not last long, though I do smoke it rather than drink it. It also has side effects, as in heart and intestinal issues as side effects.

Perhaps some of my herbs would work better if I stopped smoking them... but California Poppy, Mexican Terragon, Motherwort, Calea Zacatechichi , Wild Lettuce, Wild Dagga, Domiana, I smoke that sort of thing with wild lettuce being the most effective as it lowers anxiety and pain. Shamensgarden sends you a bag with the wrong ingredients but they are still okay. Motherwort increases dream recall as my favorite thing to do is sleep and dream. I also take melatonin as Velarian is a meme to me, though I do have a tincture of it. Like I just typed, I have all the ethnoboticals, most of them, except the illegal ones. I wish I had Diviner's Sage but it's illegal where I live, not that I'd try it, I just like collecting bags of herbs at this point while only smoking the shamensgarden blend they gave me, that one for dreaming though I ordered moprph blend and it looks like morph blend but having kratom extract on it would stop the mail man I guess so that's why it has the dream blend sticker on it...I should probably stop smoking their incense and get their smoke blend instead as they have them. More than ten years ago I wanted to find a booze alternative and also a legal weed alaternative and that is why I'm so into ethnobotany and know about shamensgarden, and also there are other sites I've ordered Wild Lettuce from but I'd have to check my email on another more safe device than this one that I am currently on.

RIP our organs. Come sweet death.

>>160709 (me)

Mexican Terragon rather; it increases dream recall, not motherwort. Why do I even have motherwort when it's for labor or something? Why do they put it into the herb blends? SMH

>>160709

>phenibut

I still haven't ordered it. As I said I was checking the delivery service, but the problem is that the absolute retard that I am lost the mailbox key, so I have to ask the school service to make a new one. Sites I've visited have an option for secure payment(?) using services like wero, though that specific site seems to be out of stock, and I'm not even sure that paymentwill go smoothly, I mainly relied on previous buyers' comments to decide. I'll maybe try monero even though I'm not that fond of the idea.

Do you think wild lettuce might help? Probably said it before but I went for phenibut because it seemed to be really efficient. And I don't usually trust anything herb-like(which is why I went for phenibut instead of kava). I feel like a lot of them are scams. I could be wrong though. And it seems like wild lettuce is not illegal here. I don't really have that much money to spend on stuff that might be ineffective though, so I'm kind of unsure if I should try it first. Other than that I've seen maybe some stuff about homemade ayahuasca. People say that it really helped them. However I did not really look into it enough to form a solid opinion

>>160768

Forgot to add that making anything alcohol from scratch feels like a hassle to me. Isn't it much more convenient to buy stuff from the store? Even though that probably would cost more. But then again I'll probably mess up the synthesis process more than once, which means losses will stem from any option

>>160768

Those vines are literal hallucinogens like shrooms or LSD so I'd not touch them. People say such things can be a reset button but I'd be afraid of anything so strong it deconstructs your ego.

I don't know what herb might help as everyone is different and they are all weak, but so is phenibut if you ask me. A benzo is more effective and even a benzo is not like a hardcore drug. Neither of thse anti-anxeity pills will cuase euphoria unlike booze, they just stop fear from my experience and perhaps increase how drunk you get if you mix stuff (of which kills you faster they say, as in much, the organs). Booze when made yourself is the cheapest of anything. Making booze is less time consuming than planting plants and waiting for ages for them to grow, I'm just sayin'. They have guides online for booze making and in a month it's practically done but still cloudy as the yeast falling takes forever basically. Modern times people put a sodium and potassium into it to poison the yeast to stop it early. Some people used to put blood into red wine to make the yeast fall to the bottom. You pour the good stuff off of the bad stuff at the bottom, wracking it they call that, and if you do it timely and or more than once it's less cloudy and tastes better, that and maybe taking in living yeast is a bad idea. For all I know you just working with yeast could give you a yeast infection if you really are female. The price of single phenibut pill where I bought them was just under 50 cents per pill but only if you bough them in bulk and or had cheaper shipping. 25 usd per 60 pill bottle, faster shipping, though not the fastest, was over 20 usd, so 6 pill bottles gave me 360 pills at 170ish usd and that comes out to .47 usd per pill. However I was taking 6 pills a day, minimum, with the booze and weed and wild lettuce, so yeah, it's not that strong, at least not for me, and that comes out to 3 usd a day, basically 90 usd a month on the pills. Of course I spend more on the booze, my beer is more like 300 usd a month regardless of those pills being there. It's like a dollar a beer and I'll have like 7 or 15 in a day (yes my doctor hates me and I am literally slowly dying). If you made it yourself, not beer as that's harder than pruno, it'd be like a dollar a flagon, a dollar every 64 ounces rather than every 12 ounces, and it'd be stronger an abv too. It's mostly sugar, the easiest and cheapest way, unlike beer and or buying it. If sugar is 2 usd a lb that means you get 16 ounces approx of pure ethanol, as in moonshine, worth of booze from it. 8 ounces of moonshine for 1 usd when a beer is 1.77 ounces of 40 abv once you do the math on the 5.9 abv beers I drink, and the math to turn moonshine into 40 percent is to times it by 2.5 so 8 ounces for one usd is really 20 ounces of vodka rather than 1.77 ounces. Not that you have to make it into moonshine, I'm just saying that's how much the yeast can put into a liquid, approximately. It's very cheap if you make it yourself as it's half the weight of sugar the amount of booze coming out of it is then you times it by 2.5 anyway and that makes it basically an even ratio if the wine is not dry and also some is lost during fermentation anyway, that and some energy or whatevr goes up in metaphorical smoke due to co2 being produced and not just ethanol I suppose. I own a still though I've never used it and I do own it in case I lose my job as I'm not drinking sugary unfinished yeasty and cloudy wine again as I'm diabetic now for one, hehe, and it was nasty. The best I made was from honey but that shit is too expensive currently.

i don't trust in these medications........they don't seem safe.......

>>160778 (me)

If your wine is 10 abv and the size of a flagon, 64 ounces, the maths for the pound of sugar that was a dollar goes like this:

>40/10 = 4

>64/4 = 16 (16 ounces of 80 proof is in the flagon for it to be 10 abv)

Roughly, as it's half the weight and I use 40 abv rather than 50 abv as some is lost anyway, that and I like thinking in terms of vodka as a serving of ethanol is 1.5 ounces, so you divide 1.5 ounces to see how stupid your consumption levels are as anything above 3 or 4 drinks per day is suicide, meaning 6 ounces is already alcoholism that will slowly kill you. Naturally I have like 10 to 18 ounces a day, as in 6 to 10 beers (1.77 ounces per 12 fluid ounce beer costing 1 usd each, approx).

People make alcohol measuring devices that have to do with floatation, or viscocity or whatever. You can look up how to do that to be precise. It's why they call stronger beer heavy gavity, it had to do with the measuring of the booze contents. The stronger the booze the more the floating thing falls as the luquid loses density during fermentation. You have to measure it before and after and I never got that part and decided to go by the pure maths of how much sugar can even make and to wait until it was dry(ish).

Protip: It does not have to be a lot of juice to nullify the bleach stuff they put in the water; that's why I don't factor it into price and the sugar only, that and yeast can be kept alive and or found in the literal wild if you had some dough near a window, etc, though even if you have to keep buying such things it's still literally 1 lb of sugar is 1lb of 40 percent vodka, that is extremely cheap.

Medications are not necessary......I just watch anime as my medication......

>>160784

Medications are scams. Anime is free.