/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

Today is saint Patrick's day how is your waifu holding the beer?

On another note does anyone want to make a thread for this day. I mean there are leprechauns.

>>390206

Fuck posted in the wrong thread.

>>390207

Lucky for you ausfags and kiwifags can't get on 8ch right now

>>390214

They can, it's just a dns ban I'm told.

>>390161

The only good thing from this thread was >>390072 and that is it. You are right about the escapism though.

>>390218

I haven't noticed any DNS poisoning… must be kiwifags only.

>>390011

why would I want to post about mamonos that get their shit kicked in by a bunch of emus

>>390247

Because the aussie monsters sided with the emu harpies and whatever passes for the Order in Austrailia didn't do a very good job of things

>>390253

haha

yeah right if i'm going to believe that.

oh god is that an alligator, keep her away from me

We need a Taniwha gril.

>>390288

>Alligator

[Laughs in 7ft ara saltie]

All I did was scroll down past this thread earlier and now Down Under has been playing on continuous loop in my head for fucking days now WHAT DID YOU CUNTS DO TO ME

>>390346

You're welcome.

>>390294

Come to think of it an Alligator waifu wouldn't be too bad

>Big girl (4 u) for big cuddles

>Thick skin

>Cold blooded, so at night when you sleep its under thick fluffy blankets as she holds you firmly and you hear an occasional contented sigh

>>390363

They're crocodiles in Australia you cunt. Also there's is a gator girl thread that needs more love.

>>390363

Be careful when giving dick to gator grills, you might end up in a MAMONOMANA altered version of the death roll

>>390365

>MAMONOMANA death roll

>Youre just an Anon that thought it would be fun to vacation in kangarooland

>Waltzing Matilda through the outback, taking in nature, avoiding being taken in by it

>Rest near a small body of water, and hear a small noise near the water's edge

>Go check it out because it might be a cute little fish

>Haha yeah right its probably some ultra atomic holocaust giga-viper 9000

>Still that would be cool to see, nothing seems to be there, except

>A small flash of something sets off your spider senses and you rapidly move backwards

>Not a second too soon as a crocgirl launches herself out of the water at you

>Oh fuck, that rapid move back turns into a dive, and you scramble to get away

>Then something grabs the bottom of your legs

>You turn around and see she has a firm grasp on you, and cracks a huge smile after you two lock eyes briefly

>She begins to pull you closer, as you desperately try and stop her, frantically clawing at the ground

"nonononononononono"

>Eventually she pulls you close enough to straddle and place her hands on your shoulders

<"Sup cunt?"

>You just stare back at her, breathing heavily. She had to be at least a foot taller than you

<"What's the matter, croc go your tongue"

"Uh, Hi"

<"Whats a guy like you don't wandering around here alone, its pretty dangerous out here"

>You nervously chuckle a bit

"Funny you should mention that, I was just leaving, So i'll be on my way"

>She laughs a bit and you quietly join a bit

<"Ah, don't worry. Just hang on"

>Wait, what

>Suddenly front of the pants are gone and she pretty much falls on you, wrapping her arms around your chest

>Her grinding on you takes its effect and before you can struggle she takes you in

>Then all of a sudden she starts rolling

>Oh God what

>Each rotation would bring her full weight down on you, then you'd be lifted up

>Over and Over and Over

>>390407

Crikey my hips are sore from here.

>>390407

>Be Anon

>And you dont want to move. at. all

>So sore

>Sore all over

>It was getting late on in the evening at this point

>The croc girl sits nearby at a fire, merrily grilling a fish she caught

>Happy as a clam

>You let out another pained groan

<"Oh shut up"

>She playfully chastises you

<"Now come and get some dinner, can't have my new hubby starve"

>>390413

How much would it iritate her to call prawns shrimp and constantly asking her if she has fosters?

>>390072

this made me lol

>>390151

>psychopath

You’re giving him too much credit. He’s just a shitposter, like all Australians. He might spew a lot of shit, but at the heart of it he’s just trying to entertain or provoke a response.

>>390151

>killing Muslims

>psychopath

More like a saint.

>>390418

Cheshires leave

>>390436

I wasn't aware that every single one of the people he killed were all guilty of crimes worthy of execution

>>390446

Islam not only teaches that you should slaughter infidels, it teaches the specific methods you should use to make the process drawn out and painful. They will gladly kill us, and have on many occasions, why shouldn't we retaliate?

>but not all Muslims

If a Muslim isn't going to follow the doctrine of his own religion, why the hell is he a Muslim?

Sage for off topic

>>390446

Imagine we have a man named Bob. Bob is a passenger on a cruise ship. It is by no means a perfect ship, the food is rather iffy at times, sometimes it goes a bit off course or the engines start acting up, but by most accounts it is a nice ship that Bob is very happy to ride on.

One day Bob hears an odd sound coming from below deck. He decides to check it out and is horrified to find the ship filling up with water. He rushes up to the deck of the ship and shouts to warn everyone: "The ship is sinking! The ship is sinking! It's filling up with water and we have to do something!". Now, a couple people become alarmed, they look down below and agree, the ship is in extreme danger. But the vast majority of the passengers and crew do not. They accuse Bob of trying to ruin the cruise, he knows nothing of ship construction so how could he possibly know if the ship was sinking? Even most of the crew agrees that Bob is wrong.

And who knows, maybe Bob is wrong. Maybe that room he saw filling up with water was actually a holding tank for the desalination plant on board. Perhaps the ship uses some ballast water to improve it's stability. But in this case, Bob well and truly believes that the ship, and everybody on it, is doomed unless something is done. So what will Bob do?

Well, if Bob thinks the ship is sinking and that the only way the passengers and crew can survive is if something is done, he will do anything he needs to. Bob will steal, threaten or even kill in order to save the ship. What is important is that Bob will believe that he is acting morally, even if committing an act that appears entirely immoral.

That is how I see recent events. People like Brenton earnestly believe that their actions are moral, not because of the action itself but rather for what it is trying to avert.

>>390449

You know what? Why doesn't Bob here simply steal a liferaft and some food and ditch the ship. Then laugh at everyone dying as he says "I told you so."?

Sometimes the best solution is to let people suffer for their mistakes and get some cheap laughs out of it. They were stupid. They didn't listen. Therefore they deserve misery.

>>390453

Because you and bob arnt the same person and react differently to the same situation.

>>390418

>Be Anon

>That fateful day you were vacationing in the land of Kangaroos is still fresh in your mind

>Being proactively dated by a crocgirl has been an interesting experience

>Still, sometimes you push things a bit much

>Like today, for some reason you felt really lucky, punk.

>Ask her if you plan on having shrimp of the barbie for dinner, she brushes that off

>Later in the day ask her why yall were out of fosters

>Seemed a bit grumpy when she responded

>Wonder aloud where all the Vegemite went with her clearly in earshot

>The breaking point came where you offhandedly mention Waltzing Matilda is an overrated song

>Obviously a lie, but she'd had enough

>She storms up to you a dreadfully predatory, yet mischievous gleam in her eye

<"You know, i'm curious why you're trying so hard to tick me off"

>Maybe this wasn't such a good idea

<"Well, congrats. you've got the croc by the tail, just don't let her nip ya"

>You took off in the opposite direction

<"I'll give you a head start, i'm in a sporting mood"

>In which you decided to throw petrol on the fire

"Do you come from a land down under"

"Where men do roam and crocs plunder"

"Can't you hear can't you hear the thunder"

"You better run, you better take cover"

>Well, there went most of your head start

>Hopping a fence to the back roadways you creep along, she might have doubled back around near the pond

>She always goes to the water

>Until the fence in front of you explodes as she barrels her way through it, grabbing hold of your shoulder with one hand

>Yeah, in addition to being a foot taller, she was also pretty built

<"Yes I come from a land down under"

<"Where crocs do roam and hips sunder"

<"Get ready to feel the thunder"

<"No where to run, No where to take cover"

Thanks to the moron, hatechan is now officially banned in New Zealand. Posting through a VPN.

>>390365

>>390407

>croc girl does the sex roll at top rape speeds

>have to stop midway because anon is on the verge of throwing up

Would she cuddle him back and fuck him in a less extreme way or do crocs not learn from past rapes?

>>390480

It’s a DNS block, I don’t think you even need the VPN to get around it

>>390484

They've been doing the rape rolar coaster for 200 million years, a bit of queasiness isn't going to stop them that easily.

Would there be rivalry between Aussie Croc girls and Floridian Alligator girls?

>>390499

Like a couple of cousins egging each other on and trying out do one another.

>>390499

>>390501

I'd imagine it'd be like one of those crossover superhero comics, Florida Mamono vs. Australia Mamono. The only loser is whoever walks outside and sees the two of them butt naked driving a souped-up golf cart down the road, using a cricket bat to smack oranges at everyone's houses, and also the cart, oranges, and bat are on fire.

Imagine the headlines.

>>390315

>>390318

>>390331

dttb

>>390524

What?

>>390491

There's nothing hot about feeling nauseous.

>>390457

>>390453

Assuming that the life-raft is analogous to forming an ethnostate, the ship's crew/passengers keeps a close watch over the rafts. Any attempt to take one is dealt with swiftly by being thrown in the brig. But even if you assume that Bob can take the life-raft, then what? He's adrift in a dinghy in a cold, uncaring ocean. He's lost all the comforts of the cruise ship. Do you think Bob will last much longer?

>>390547

The nauseous part isn't hot, obviously, but the dichotomy between the gentle cuddly soft nursing and the lewd restless 3 seconds of sex before you get dizzy and then nauseous sounds like it is.

>>390453

>>390550

Further, Bob has a sentimental attachment to the cruise ship. He has a lot of history with that ship, as does his family. Even if he could get on a lifeboat or even an other cruise ship, it wouldn't be the same cruise ship.

He wants to save the ship, as well as its passengers, and even if he fails and it does sink, he'll try to get a salvage rig to raise it again. Because he loves that ship and to go on some other cruise just wouldn't be the same.

I wonder what Brenton Tarrant would get raped by

>>393414

That man would have a clan of salamanders fighting over him.