/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>I feel like a foreigner in my own country.

Blame Merkel and the massive influx for that, anon. Plenty of Germans feel that way.

On the other hand, I know where you're coming from. The only times I use my native language is to say "thank you" or something to the clerks at the check-out aisle.

I can still pronounce words fine, but my sentence structure is definitely borrowed from English, to the point where certain sentences I say natively are just fucked entirely. And I do forget words all the bloody time, so I just say an English word with a native ending, and hope that it's an international word.

Honestly i do feel that my vocabulary is slipping to an extent.

>>4126

> when I was deep in hikkidom, among other effects like going insane, I was losing my speech capability. I almost couldnt find any words, and the ones I found came out in mumbles at best.

My vocabulary or speech in general hasn't gotten that bad yet however i do notice that it has been kinda sliping within the past 2 years.

>>4126

I think in this regard, it helps to read more and talk to yourself a lot, especially out loud. Though it doesn't help me with my native language, mostly because at this point I mainly talk and think in English.

>>4129

> Though it doesn't help me with my native language, mostly because at this point I mainly talk and think in English.

Oh yeah that can be kinda difficult.

>>4120

It's similar for me, but not quite that bad (yet).

My German used to be really top-of-the-line since I read a bunch of old history books that used pretty complicated words back in elementary school though, and nowadays I don't stutter as much as I simply can't remember better synonyms and am stuck using a really basic version of German. I sound like a grade schooler, essentially.

It doesn't help that I'm more or less exclusively consuming Nip media nowadays, where German translations range from nonexistent to grating. I'd have to force myself to read more German books to correct it, but I just can't be bothered to.

>>4126

What I do is long speeches on my political or philosophical ideas while walking in a circle in my house.

In English instead of my native language though, because expressing complex ideas in German is out of reach right now.

>>4131

I feel like it's acceptable nowadays (among young people at least) to mix in random English words into German sentences. But my parents would get confused by that because they don't speak English

>>4132

Just because it's acceptable doesn't mean it's a good idea. That's how a language goes to die.

Not that I don't need to do it occasionally when talking to my family, when exactly what you say happens and I need to try and define an English word in a language I barely speak anymore.

I started reading local websites, using the on-demand offers of local TV stations (usually for old documentaries), listening to audiobooks in the local language and forcing myself to think and talk to myself (or imaginary others) in the local language to combat this. I might even start writing some form of diary.

My big dream ATM is to attend the free meal at a neighborhood church, once a week, or even just once in a while. There are plenty of street-folk and lonely seniors there who don't mind casual conversations with strangers and who know how it feels like to have things you'd rather not talk about.

>>4133

I used to talk in English with my father and some friends of ours. Sometimes half a conversation would pass before anybody noticed we were using the "wrong" language. It happened because we were all in the IT business and never had a reason to express the things we were talking about in any other language.

>>4170

Try reading out aloud, as if to an audience. If you want to be more courageous than me. Another dream of mine is to record an audio book. I already bought a good microphone. Now I just have to get myself to actually use it.

>>4171

>Try reading out aloud, as if to an audience. If you want to be more courageous than me.

Thanks ill. try this.

>>4176

> When you use English for communication all day long and browsing the net, watch cartoons in japanese and movies in cantonese and youtube videos in English

I do this all the time.

I'm experiencing the same thing, I do talk to my parents sometimes or a friend from my country online but I've noticed how I need to look up my native tongue's words for things that I can already easily communicate in english. It used to be the other way around, I didn't even pay attention to the change until I had to look up multiple words one conversation.

I've also lost the ability to make friends as I barely at all small talk anymore, I have no idea how to strike up a conversation or keep one going with new people.

>>4186

>I have no idea how to strike up a conversation or keep one going with new people.

I can't seem to do it either. A few years back when I was doing college and working part-time, I had to talk to strangers a lot. I figured that after a while I would get pretty good at conversation, but it never happened. I still can't keep a conversation flowing with anyone that I haven't known for at least a year. The only strangers I have ever been able to talk to are anonymous people online.

>>4191

>I hope I won't end up killing myself soon as I started looking down at everything

I know this feeling all too well.

I'm a recovering hikikomori

In my case I don't stutter with words but rather it's like I just assume everyone I talk to understands the context of the given situation and can understand me even if I speak slowly or inside my mind. I have noticed that whenever someone ask me a question or seeks explanation about something I usually speak in a very fast and low tone of voice or even I don't talk at all and instead I imagine I give them the explanation or answer. This really makes me look somewhat weird and awkward, people sometimes

just smile awkwardly back at me or insists me to speak clear and louder.

>>4126

Thanks for this advice anon, I will put it into practice

I slur in my speech now. I have a hard time forming ideas. Just the other day it struck me that the last full conversation I had with someone was 11 years ago.

It used to bother me when I met someone who slurred their words. It's not hard to enunciate properly, I thought—yet here I am.

>>4271

Glad to see a fellow recoverer, there's not a lot among hikkis.

>>4120

Are you taking medication that would cause this?

>>4120

Source of the OP image?

My accent is messed up now. All voice I make is pretty much within my head, so my accent just kinda drifted off in the years into some made up accent, unfettered by others. I live in Canada, I don't sound like other people, O's and A's and T's are all different, kinda sound Scottish or something. . Listening to old recordings of my voice is freaky. idc though I like how I sound.

>>5188

>My accent is messed up now

Try to work on it and in time you should be able to fix it.

>>4120

>I feel like a foreigner in my own country.

Don't you worry, anon.

Soon it's not even going to be your country anymore, let alone a german speaking one.

>>5489

>I've been writing most of my life but I just can't seem to let my worries fade. There's always this nagging that my stories aren't even coherent, the grammar is fucked up or I make spelling mistakes.

Are you me anon? Whenever I write I always have this nagging feeling that there is something inherently wrong with my writing, but i can´t put my finger onto it.

>>5614

>my first language is Portuguese

Are you from Portugal or Brazil? just asking because i know a little bit of Brazilian Portuguese.

>>5619

From Brazil, which makes the hikki life even harder, if you are from here as well.

>>5623

>From Brazil, which makes the hikki life even harder, if you are from here as well.

I've heard Brazil is a shit country.

I totally forgot about how to speak properly in either my native language and in English, but it doesn't bother me to some extent. because I don't have any friends or family members that I can talk to them, I sit in my room all day long playing video games and watching videos on youtube, I can write better in English than my native language because I'm doing everything in English,also due to the time I've spent reading articles and listening to podcasts my listening and reading skills is very good now and that's what I wanted tbh. I don't interact with no one why bother caring about my speaking ability. however, there are alot of words in English that I don't know their meaning and I struggle to understand the more complicated articles.

Its like I'm lost I can't write in my native language because I've forget alot about it and there aren't any places on the internet where I can use it aside from Facebook twitter etc,Meanwhile, I can't use English properly to express my ideas

Although, I'm trying to improve my English writing skills I get bored because I don't have anyone to practice with or get feedback from so I stopped and I only listen to the language

So, as pathetic as it may be, I’ve decided to get into the habit of using my mother for conversation practice. She’s the only real social outlet that I have and the only person I feel comfortable enough around to talk to. I’m doing this because I feel as though I’ve completely lost any capacity to hold a conversation, even just small-talk, and this is the only way that I can think of to help rehabilitate myself. I’ve told her about this since she asked why I was so talkative all the sudden, and she has agreed to entertain my autism and have these 30-45 minutes talks with me every other morning, which she has been good for so far.

It’s honestly a kind of a blackpill how anxious I get even just talking with my immediate family members.

It's happening to me too. I stutter too much when speaking in my native language. But I think this is more of a communication problem rather than language-specific.

There was a year which I spent nearly completely in my room (I wasn't absent to school, but I never, in any occasion, talked with anyone). This period is probably relatively short, but I have experienced some problems during and after it. They are mostly related to intelligence, and it shows that I have declined, because I am intellectually gifted and I had a good education. I still have them today, but they are more moderate now. They were:

1) Forgetting social skills: this was probably caused because I have Asperger's syndrome. I learned some social skills progressively throughout my life, but when I stopped using them, I forgot them. Also, during this period, I did not talk with anyone in the Internet as well, so I really didn't talk with anyone;

2) Problems with memory, attention, creativity, and reasoning: it seemed that I wasn't capable of creating the most slightly original idea during this period, and I was very creative before. I also had problems with memory, and I couldn't even remember things which were said by others seconds before, and that was very common. In 30% of the time I started thinking about something different, I forgot what I was thinking before, and I struggled to remember it (most times, I didn't). I couldn't pay attention to what people were saying as well (I only paid attention to teachers).

3) Thinking and writing unconsciously: it is very difficult to me to connect one idea with another. Sometimes, I am thinking about something original, and I try to describe it with words. However, I tell the first thing that appears in my mind, after 5 seconds, and that is a mess. I say nonsense things, that have nothing to do with what I am thinking. Also, I committed serious mistakes in the last years due to that, which were embarrassing, and I don't want to share here.

I am under-18, and I am from Brazil. This period was between 2016 (which was the most serious year) and 2017. Everyone I have talked to about that subject didn't believe that was true, and they thought that this was nonsense, so I had no help. Even my psychologist treated me as if I was stupid, he talked with me like if he was having casual conversation, changing subjects, not answering things as I wanted, giving superficial answers, and other things (I only talked about things which were relevant to my treatment). Luckily, I am going to a new psychologist, so I hope that this one will be better than the former. What annoys me is that this psychologist had a very good education, yet he was totally unprofessional. Also, my classmates where I went did nothing to help me integrate there, they ignored me all the time, it even seemed like they didn't like me.

>>5835

I was diagnosed as an aspie when I was 4 years-old, by another psychologist. My father's got Asperger's too, and he saw some signs of it on me, which is why he suspected that.

>>5794

> Even my psychologist treated me as if I was stupid

> What annoys me is that this psychologist had a very good education, yet he was totally unprofessional.

The more of them I see, the more convinced I am that even psychologists don't really care about you. It's really disillusioning. They're a helping profession, they're supposed to care. But for the most part they don't.

>>5794

> Thinking and writing unconsciously: it is very difficult to me to connect one idea with another. Sometimes, I am thinking about something original, and I try to describe it with words. However, I tell the first thing that appears in my mind, after 5 seconds, and that is a mess. I say nonsense things, that have nothing to do with what I am thinking.

Do you still do that, anon? I'm having a lot of trouble with that too. Still working on it though.

My arabic isn't the greatest since we don't really use it in our daily lives but we use a totally different dialect. My french is degenerating although all my study subjects are in french but i don't use it in conversations or anything, i noticed my vocabulary isn't that rich and my mind goes blank when i try to make a phrase and i mix between french and english in terms of orthography.

My english is much better than my french imo since i used to play and still playing some mmos that is if my shitty set isn't letting me down. Currently i'm just browsing exactly 3 imageboards all day or watch KBS or NHK (Like you learn 2 languages at the same time)

I feel empty because i don't enjoy anything and i'm delaying a really important project and i feel bad about it.

My cats are the only ones that comfort me each day.

I feel like half the time I'm in some sort of non verbal childish mode where my voice sounds less mature and I can barely get a proper sentence out without sounding retarded.

I got no idea what triggers this since my inner monologue isn't even that inarticulate, It's like im inside a broken machine.

This already happened to me a long time ago. Years of neglecting my German, watching Chinese and Japanese media with English subtitles and posting on English forums made me get better at English but degenerated my German to the status of a Elementary school kid. Nowadays I know the English word for a thing faster than the German one and my speech patterns are elementary school like.

I'm from Oz, we speak english. I've been doing some shitposting in last months and I used bad english to pose as a foreign person, learning english. Ironically, when I try to communicate in english I make more errors and sound less intelligent. It feels harder to say what I want to say as well. Plus I picked up the habit of being lazy with spelling errors, which sucks

>>6118

>I'm from Oz

Australia?

>>6110

Japan currently has two probable futures: Either it will maintain or increase its level of xenophobia, or it will become another Sweden. In neither case would I advise a foreigner to attempt to move there.

However, if you enjoy Japanese media, it's still worth your time to learn Japanese, since translation/localization efforts are plummeting in quality these days.

>>6124

Do you have any advice on how to get started learning Japanese? I've wanted to for a while now but haven't been able to find the motivation

This is happening to me too, OP.

>>6123

New Zealand?

>>6124

>japan will either be a closed border gaijin fuck off country or become sweden level of refugees welcome

no such thing as a middle ground huh?

>>6151

who calls new zealand "oz"

>>6163

I'd prefer they go the gaijin fuck off route to be perfectly honest. The last thing they need is Islam poisoning and attempting to overtake their relatively concentrated and uniquely disciplined society. Those refugees drag in massive amounts of violent crime and have no intention of assimilating or respecting local customs and culture. Fuck em

similar thing happened to me anon. I am a native English speaker and don't speak any other language. Since I'm a hikki and don't go outside or have many social interactions with anyone, I mostly speak to others through text. When I started using a voice chat program to communicate after 5-6 months of not speaking out loud, I would constantly stutter and slur my words. I was so used to not speaking out loud that it made me sound completely retarded when I finally did.

>>6338

I started to now.

>>6346

>I started to now.

Good to hear anon.

>>6352

if countries want to be a bit xenephobic that's fine and understandable but they should be mostly ethnically homogeneus like Japan or Germany once was/is without being crazy normalniggers lynching innocent people. This means no anti-muslim agenda that benefits forigen interests i.e Israel and Jews or artifical 'white nationalism' like americans make up. /pol/ is a cesspool of trash.

>>6428

we are not cursed if it's all a conspiracy

>>6125

https://djtguide.neocities.org/

The standard would be to start with anon's anki 2k/6k deck, but I cannot recommend that from my experience.

Get Heisig's Remembering the Kanji I and II, as well as the anki deck for them, and Tae Kim's Japanese grammar.

Then do as much of them as you can per day. I do a chapter of grammar and 10 new Kanji a day.

The grammar is sectioned between elemental/basic/advanced. I'd recommend you repeat one section until it's 100% fixed in your head and only then start moving onto the next since you need perfect basic grammar to get any given sentence.

>>6113

>>6115

>>6118

Reading writing aloud helps, whether it's a book, or posts on here.

I did my best Steve Irwin impression for ozposter. I miss him, he was such a sweetheart

>>6427

I used to love MMOs, but I haven't looked at them the same way since losing my e friend of 5 years three years ago.

Ironically, I played a healer to meet more people and get my friend stuff, but people tend to project blame on healers, so I never actually made any. Though, I did help my friend out, which was nice.

These days I can say that I know English much more than my native language and I think I'm a bit closer to mastery. However, I still can't write as fluently as I want to ( If anyone have any suggestions regarding how to write fluently Please leave a reply)

I don't have anything to look forward too and I don't have any hobbies either. English has always been my hobby and I always wanted to improve it, but now that I'm capable of understanding practically 95% of English I grew sick of it. It isn't as challenging as it used to be. I'm no longer studying the language I'm enjoying it but that didn't last long though. I'm getting bored of reading books and watching movies. So I'm looking forward to find ways to write more fluently since it will be a bit challenging and fun again, But I don't know how maybe you guys know a way.

I really need to find a new hobby. I'm bored out of my mind staring at the wall for hours everyday.

I find myself always talking as fast as possible, and in as few words as possible, because I just want to spend as little time conversing as possible. Even online, when I chat because I want to (and do enjoy it), people always tell me I'm really unforthcoming and just say extremely little.

When I'm not playing vidya or posting online I'm reading into military history, since it's the only thing I really enjoy fully. Only problem in regards to that is that my knowledge is very expansive, and I think it's actually been bad for me, and kind of representative of all things in life as far as conversation is concerned. I could give a thousand words to describe what is being said, but I couldn't articulate it well to someone who doesn't have my brain, and they would stop listening after 50, so I just kind of dumb it down and say a tiny amount. Don't know what I'm getting at here anymore, but it just feels like my autistic tendency to say more than I need and with vocabulary that probably isn't fitting for regular conversation has just disappeared from attempts to 'fit in' and now I'm in purgatory, can't do anything right.

Certainly doesn't help my CIA nigger mummy keeps trying to push me and find out what I'm thinking, don't know what I can do to just get her to stop prying, I don't care what she has to say, she probably has nothing worthwhile to say about it either, and it's not "helping" either. Does she think I'm going to one of these days realise E=MC squared is incorrect or something

>>6543

>t. Nippon Hikkikomori Kyokai

I'm having an interesting, opposite effect. My prior job before my mental breakdown involved legal, business, and medical language. From not talking with, I don't know how to phrase it other than "common folk", for prolonged periods of time, it becomes difficult to communicate with them. It's like I speak perfect English but they don't digest a single word I'm saying and try to interpret it differently. As they continue to misinterpret me, I become more elaborate with my language and try to indicate that my diction is precise and I am not trying to be roundabout with them in any way, but they typically don't understand and I shy out of my discussion and leave awkwardly.

I've always been criticized by normies because I have a tendency to used polysyllabic words in conversation. To the normie this makes them feel threatened because it suggests they are lower in the pecking order than you are in the pecking order. Also, I would spend a lot of time around adults and didn't care to make my self form accessible to my peers in conversation.

>>4120

I'm sorry I don't know anything about un-learning German.

Paul Stamets, a mycologist, has advice about over coming his studded and what other's can do to improve their fear of speaking. Sadly Stamet's advice is shrooms, so I don't know if that would be qualify as good advice to you. (Sad because they are usually illegal and had to procure and have a negative connotation that company them.)

I've found that since being enabled by the computer, I have not had any reinforcement to remember how to spell words and have progressively lost the interest in maintaining sentence structure of writing long form. I grew up with spell check and have become alarmingly reliant on it. I even lookup words that turn out to be spelled correctly because left to my own devices I can't be sure of a correct spelling. Not all languages have the same obsessive tensing and congregation that most European and Euro-offshoot languages have. I use this statement to challenge the disapproval of caveman like and blunted expressions. I like to think that they are a product of my Hikki-isum and there for it would sit quite well that I would only need a more nuance constricted lexicon. Mostly I just drop glue words, 'in' 'to' and the like. Being alone I don't really think you need them to negotiate intent to yourself.

It seems to me that it only seems to us that the language is getting worse.

Oh, I feel you. The only thing that helps me is the internet, and I don't know what I would do if I didn't practice Spanish with my only penfriend. I'm worried that I'll forget it at all. I even thought about starting some courses or using at least Duolingo https://duolingo.com/ to keep up with the grammar and stuff. I've also heard that tutors can help, so I might contact someone from this site https://preply.com/ to help me practice Spanish.

Quite interesting I must admit

I have studied French since high school. Unfortunately, I started noticing that without practice my language gets worse and that makes me frustrated. I decided to use https://livexp.com/ because the reviews say it's a great platform for tutoring. Possibility of 1 on 1 lessons online at any convenient time.

Nice topic!

Thanks for all the comments and interesting discussion about education. I have been struggling with my English ever since I arrived to the States. So my neighbor gave me this https://promova.com/tutors/private-english-tutor link as he thought that private tuition is much better than any college or courses. And you know what? He was right!