/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>3423

give yourself goals to achieve then you will have satisfaction

>>3423

Hi there, I'm 63, happy and enjoying life. It won't hurt you trust me, you will get used to it with the right perspective. You're just tired of watching the grass grow. So the ego invents unnecessary worry and data where there is none. It wants more excitement because without experiencing it thinks that it will die. Let it die, step back from it and watch it for awhile, be an observer, don't respond to the emotion and worry about imaginary things that haven't even happened. Take one actual problem at a time and let the brain which is actually a supercomputer, lead you to the solution, and then step by step implement the fix. This is called: 'the path of least resistance'. If you have any questions, I will try and help you, take care.

>>3449

>Some days I feel like an old man in the final days of his life,

Same here.

>>3448

>give yourself goals to achieve then you will have satisfaction

It's not that easy anon.

>>3452

Your wise words always amaze me elder hikki.

>>3423

Here's a tip for anyone struggling with this kind of thing: find yourself a "vehicle", a tool, through which you can reach your human potential. This can be anything, really: playing guitar, drawing, programming, something more abstract like math, journalism…

Modern life is incredibly shallow, and a thing that can give it more meaning is having something that is important to you to work towards.

>>3468

Right? I have very little interest in anything and if I'm to set myself a goal I'll set a grand one and I won't be able to reach it.

>>3548

>Right? I have very little interest in anything and if I'm to set myself a goal I'll set a grand one and I won't be able to reach it.

Same or ill. set a goal do it and then after a while forget about it.

>>3549

loss of motivation as well, I took the goal of losing 200 pounds. Lost 150 in the first year and a half, felt great!… then stopped caring and took back 60. I'm back on track now but back then when I started I thought I would have been done about a year ago but I've still got 65 pounds to go

>>3550

This is great news; don't punish yourself. The only mistake is in thinking that you can be done, life is never done. One little step at a time is not work, small changes everyday will make a new you. :)))

>>3551

it's just not easy to take you know? I've always told myself if I set my mind to something I could do it, but I'm realizing that this is actually not true and there are a lot of things I can't accomplish no mater how hard I try

>>3471

My mistake is in using too many words. Sometimes, I forget how long it took me to understand and make changes. We are all born with an OS, a subconscious pattern that plays in a loop. The first thing is to see it, and once faced, when you look in the mirror you can't go back. That is the hardest part, it's easy from then on. Small simple changes everyday, never punish yourself. Be like still water; where you look into it and see yourself. If you go into the natural world, and observe water or you experiment with it, water reveals its qualities: Water is relentless. It never stops exerting its force. Its force is a manifestation of its nature. It does not try to be something it is not, applying neither morality nor immorality. When it is restricted, Water seeks the weakest spot of any obstruction and applies constant force until it is free. When it is pressed or attacked, it changes form and repositions itself. It exerts constant counter force to search for weakness. Water is opportunistic. Given the slightest opening it will pass through. It will do so while the opening is present. It will widen the opening if possible. Water always seeks to do the easiest thing as long as it can. Water does not complain about the path it follows. It simply follows the path. Water has a wide range of energetic expressions, but continues to be Water. It can be still. It can be sluggish. It can be swift. It can be pounding. It can be vapor.

We talk about misfortune, or a failure to thrive in finances, or relationships. In nearly all cases, the person is failing to pass through an open door, because he or she insists on the door being a certain way, maybe a purple door, but instead a pink door is the only thing that pops up. What they don’t understand is that there are no purple doors where he or she is standing. There never will be. If, however, he or she passes through the pink door, then the orange door, then the blue door, there could be a purple door. Strangely, as soon as the person passes through that undesirable door, his or her misfortune starts to abate. Are you that person? If there is no motion in the direction you want to go from the place you want to go, find the place that you can go, and keep going. That is what water would do. Learn the lesson of water.

>>3552

Life just happens, even if you sleep all day, life happens by itself, you didn't tell your body what to do when you were asleep. Don't force yourself through life, allow yourself to be lead, play with it. When you watch a child play there is no goal or purpose, it's not even a game it's just play. You will get it, and when you do accomplishment will become effortless. If it makes you feel worse than it's not good for you. It has to make you feel better to be good my friend, take care

>>3553

I have trouble with long metaphors like this, what are you suggesting I do?

>>3555

I'm sorry I didn't mean to be complicated. Just be, there is nothing to do. How do you relax?

>>3557

I think I get what you mean, live as a shell kind of, right? Like, want for nothing, don't force yourself to do anything and just exist correct? I have tried that but honestly the end results of me just doing whatever I want aren't pretty. I relax by playing video games mostly but they haven't been very relaxing. Sleep relaxes me too.

>>3560

>I think I get what you mean, live as a shell kind of, right? Like, want for nothing, don't force yourself to do anything and just exist correct?

No…being yourself will happen anyway, desires and all of your thoughts just happen all by themselves. I think the problem is; you are not what you think you should be. My advise is to be very careful what you wish for, research where you will end up, you may be sorry when you arrive. Are you physically able to go outside for an hour, to take your shoes off and put your feet on the grass, do you have any trees by you?

>>3561

yeah, there's woods across the bridge, can be there in 5 minutes of walking, What I wish for is to be happy, but that is a very broad term and when we're talking about concrete things I don't know what would make me happy. School didn't, video games didn't, movies didn't, books didn't, losing weight didn't, work didn't, "friends" didn't,

honestly I keep telling myself, if I just do this thing I'll be happy, at first it was losing weight, didn't make me happy, then nofap, didn't make me happy, then weight lifting, now I would like to try having an intimate relationship if I could but I'm pretty sure that won't make me happy either, all in all I'm just lost

>>3553

Addendum: water does not use force, gravity, the electromagnetic field animates it. Water surrenders and in so doing effortlessly flows.

>>3562

It sounds like you are pretty physically fit. But you need to learn more about, relax. What do you think about meditation, martial arts especially one that is nonviolent?

>>3564

Depends what you mean by fit. I am still 65 pounds overweight, but when I lifted I got pretty good stats for the time I spent I think, I reached 250 pounds on my squat and deadlift in 5 months (which I think is pretty good but am not sure). My cardio is not very good at all. Meditation I have tried but don't really get the point. Martial arts is too far away for me, I have trouble just interacting with people… touching them and forcing them into uncomfortable poses does not sound something I'd want to do, plus the shame of losing… no I don't think so, I'm getting nervous just thinking about it. I wish I knew how to relax better but I'm always stressed

>>3562

>What I wish for is to be happy.

To be happy is easy, but it is hard in the beginning because you don't know what it is. Nothing out in the world will do it. You have to look within, it's a state of mind. I can help you to find it, and since this is your greatest desire it will be easier for you. Most people die chasing after toys and possessions, in a competition with others, but it never produces happiness. The ego is addicted to experiencing, and if you let it run your life you will never be happy.

>>3566

A nonviolent martial art won't do that to you. In Aikido there is no fighting, sparing, no contest. I suggest a very nice meditation that will put you in nature with your bare feet on the grass, starting with 5 minutes at first, gradually build it up to 30. And look for an Aikido school close by you and make a visit, meet the Sensei, I promise you will be surprised.

If you are open to the meditation, I will set you up, try it you might like it.

>>3571

Yes… I have talked with my father about this, he's told me how his entire life he chased possessions cars, houses, apartment buildings, he's had them all, but he sold them all off and now lives with me in a 2 room apartment. He told me how possessions don't make you happy and I believe him, I have never made a big purchase but I know already how it works, you buy something big, you get a rush of dopamine or endorphin or whatever the hormone for "happiness" is, you enjoy your new toy for a few days then it becomes something monotonous you use every day without thinking twice about, took you hundreds or even thousands of hours to buy it and the "happiness" you got from it is gone in a few days. So what do you do? You buy something else to get that rush again, rinse and repeat. I know it is possible to wrap your mind into being happy with whatever you have, but I do not know how.

As for the martial art, that's too far for me right now. I have trouble interacting with the cashier at stores when I go to buy food, and for senseis, I wouldn't know what to expect but I think they tend to be rather strict and I have trouble meeting demands. What do you mean by setting me up for meditation? I wouldn't be against trying it again but don't want to say yes without knowing what to expect and wasting your time

>>3573

>intimate relationships that usually never works out for people like us.

I know… usually never works out for normal people too… but it's the kind of thing I feel I have to try before I can say it would never work. Sadly even if it does work I doubt it would be enough. Sometimes I get angry at the state of things, it's like a cruel joke when you think about it… you want to be happy but nothing makes you happy. In my case I would like to be able to live a somewhat normal life but have a lot of trouble when it comes to everything I need to do for that life, like I'm stuck in a cage and can only watch others experience these things and no matter what I do the cage will not let me participate.

>>3572

Aikido is the art of peace it has no attack, the teacher is the kindest, gentlest person you will ever meet. I went and became a blackbelt many years ago. The meditation is simple, you go out in nature, take your shoes off, bare feet on the grass with the trees and birds, preferably a quiet peaceful place and stand still for 5 minutes, slowly build it up to 30 over time. This method is Zhan Zhuang (pronounced “Jan Jong”), a dynamic form of standing meditation from ancient China. Zhan Zhuang is a simple yet powerful exercise to enhance energy, mental clarity, and internal strength. It’s an excellent standing meditation for improving your productivity and bringing more aliveness to everything you do. You need a timer at first.

>>3574

oh yeah also forgot to add, I wonder what the difference is between us and normals, how come they seem to be happy with things most of the time?

>>3576

>oh yeah also forgot to add, I wonder what the difference is between us and normals, how come they seem to be happy with things most of the time?

Because they are hypnotized and don't know any better, we are at a higher level of consciousness and are more spiritual questioning life and our motivations.

>>3577

seems more like a curse really, what does it give us at the end of the day? misery sorrow and a sense of superiority based on not much

>>3575

appreciate the advice but I don't think that is for me, if someone saw me doing that I would be extremely embarrassed and how does it increase all those things you mentioned? I don't understand

>>3574

Relationship is just a word, a concept. There is no relationship in life it just happens. Life doesn't know there are rules it just happens. The cage is self imposed, there is a door, eventually you will go through it.

>>3579

You can imagine that almost anything will happen. But if you don't try it nothing will happen, you will keep wandering in a circle.

You might even find a girl to talk to.

>>3577

oh yeah also you know how some of the most common advice regarding everything is "be confident"? I asked normals online what are the steps needed to become confident and none could give me an answer, closet one that I got was "through achievements" but I know that isn't true because I have achieved many things and it didn't change anything. Seems like the kind of thing you're born with or not

>>3580

well yes, relationship is the word to describe the bond between two people, I wouldn't say these bonds don't exist. I appreciate you're trying to give me hope, I am not hopeful all the same, like I said earlier, I'm lost, I don't know what to do and I don't know that I would have the guts to do it even if I found out what needed to be done

>>3581

yes that's my problem, I'm crippled with fear, especially about things that have to do with other people, I get paralyzed from it and don't want to do it, that's why I became a hikki a think, fear of going to school made me drop out, fear of rejection has made me not apply for jobs, I don't know why I fear people's judgements so much

>>3573

>I know that feel anon i'm pretty much at the point where most things don't make me happy anymore and now i feel completely lost to be honest.

This is the beginning of enlightenment, but it isn't what you think it is , it causes problems. This is the next evolutionary step for mankind, but it won't be simple.

>>3583

same thing when we had group assignments at school, I didn't have friends so I didn't have people to do my assignments with so I'd just completely freeze up and would never ask the other kids I saw alone if they wanted to do the work together, teacher always had to group us together because I guess those other kids were like me and couldn't get the courage to ask anyone out of fear of being rejected

>>3584

Thank you, I'm just sharing what worked for me, explaining is the hard part. There is a method to my madness.

>>3585

what do you think happens?

>>3584

Yeah, I don't want to kill myself because I have been through a lot and I think it would be a shame to end my story that way. But at the same time I don't really have a reason to live other than not causing grief to my family if I die. I am searching for motivation as well but it is hard to find.

>>3588

The future isn't made. Change will happen, gradually. We see the beginning now. I can go into more detail later about the world. But the important thing is to help each other become better at finding true happiness.

>>3590

I am about to take off and get some sleep but if you want to post your thoughts here I will definitely read them tomorrow morning and get back to you

>>3589

when I wake up I do 3 rounds of microcosmic orbit qigong meditation, before I get out of bed. My eyes pop open and I decide to be happy. I have a list of things to do, or maybe it's the day off. But if I start from that point anything that happens during the day is easier to recover from.

>>3592

> 3 rounds of microcosmic orbit qigong meditation

I have no idea what this means

>>3591

Okay lets talk later. :)))

>>3593

I know you don't but I will make a huge post a bit later about my practice and what makes me get out of bed, and what happiness really is. I'm going through some medicine protocol right now and have to focus on healing. But I'm still here for you, just feeling a bit puny.

>>3596

>all basically just escapism to escape reality.

What is reality to you?

>>3598

>That's a good question you know nobody has ever ask me that before i guess what i meant is i'm trying to escape society and just the pressures of normalfag life.

That isn't reality, it seems like it should be because the normals do it. What if I suggested that it's really the opposite of that? Society is a cooperative concept so that a large number of people can live together, but that isn't reality. If you went to the forest and made a camp fire and spent the night in sleeping bag now you've experienced reality, you left the dream of society behind, and all of the bad feelings that come with it. :)

>>3591

Enlightenment is a realization, there is nothing to get, it is not a goal, it is the very nature of life itself, it needs nothing to be added, to be improved. The joy of ones own existence is completely and sufficiently self fulfilling that it needs nothing. But the personal 'I' is greedy, and will make you jump through hoops to feed it new experiences, especially drama, hehe, unless you are beyond that already. Soon I'll talk with the BO and make a new thread to answer questions in more detail okay?

Bedtime, take care

>>3596

yeah I was the same for the longest time but these days I don't care much about media,

>>3606

I often think it'd be nice to life a primitive life in the woods, eating what you can hunt or forage, building a hut, making tools, but then I remember that this is very hard, you have to be in good shape, need to have a lot of previous knowledge about which kind of plants you can eat or not, how to make a bow, how to make arrows, how to use it, how to skin an animal, how to butcher it, how to make your food last a long time, how to start a fire from nothing, how to build tools, how to build a hut, how to survive through the winter, how to etc… It'd be nice to be able to do it, but I doubt I could.

Why is there so much posting…

>>3614

That's what I'm thinking.

But after all this is a hikki board, what else is there to do?

>>3613

You need skills that have been lost. And it would change your life drastically. There would be a whole new list of complaints. :)))

>>3617

I'm skeptical of a lot of posters in this thread considering the volume of "get motivated!" posts.

>>3620

Some of the users on here are happy being hikikomori.

>>3582

>well yes, relationship is the word to describe the bond between two people, I wouldn't say these bonds don't exist. I appreciate you're trying to give me hope.

Hope is just a word, I'm helping you to understand that a concept is an imaginary idea, and most of your life is lived inside of ideas. Relationships do exist, but there is no relationship in liberation. Relationships do exist, but they don't last, they evaporate with a change of mind, so they are like a dream and only real in the mind of the hypnotized. When you wake up they go away, how many times have you heard someone say, "that wasn't what I thought it was?"

>>3620

We all just had a nice conversation about fear mostly and some other concerns but nothing bad happened. In liberation there is no good or bad anymore, there is just what happens. I know you don't understand, but if you want to talk about your fear this is the thread to do that.

>>3650

Everything would change, because of your need for food and temperature control. So I've developed the path of least resistance over the years. Consider this: 99% of what you worry about never even happens, so train yourself to ignore it, only respond to what actually happens…in that is peace and quiet.

take care :)

I wish my dad would stop drinking

>>3656

>I wish my dad would stop drinking

Is he an alcoholic??.

>>3657

yeah though I doubt he'd admit it

>>3662

I wish I got into anime before I was 19 lol

>>3663

>I wish I got into anime before I was 19 lol

I've been into anime since i was a child.

>>4789

I don't think my childhood had much effect on my situation if anything I'd say the 2 main things that got me here was my mother's death and runescape.

>>4799

How are you supporting yourself if you don't mind me asking?

>>4800

>How are you supporting yourself

Right now i just live off of neetbux but i am currently looking into self employment work.

>>4801

Lucky, soon I will need to find work but it's gonna be hard explaining what i've been doing since 2010

>>4803

> I will need to find work but it's gonna be hard explaining what i've been doing since 2010

Just tell them that you took a break from society.

>>4821

I never became part of it I haven't worked a day in my life

>>4803

I was caring for sick family member, etc

>>4803

>it's gonna be hard explaining

"Health problems".

>>4799

My life wasn't completely horrible, but it wasn't great, just a basic kind of shitty. I was always a sort of inbetweener, not rich, not poor, just an unremarkable middle-class nobody. The kind of kid you would see who seemed normal at a glance, but was really shy, had a mess of a life, and held back a lot of bottled-up anger. Basically everything in my life from childhood to adolescence to adulthood has been just bad enough to keep me consistently miserable, and eventually result in my being a hikikomori. Now, finally, for the first time in 25 years I'm beginning to focus myself and make some positive changes in my life. For the first time I'm actually starting to have a few good days here and there. I can only hope this keeps up.

>>4839

>i've been pretty much bottling up my anger ever since i was very little because as a child i was always told that acting out in any way was inappropriate i think the fact that i was never allowed to speak up on how i truly feel about certain things when i was a child caused me to be completely silent about my problems during my adolescence

Same, but when I got angry, my dad would respond with more anger and scream at me then spank me. I ended up being too afraid to speak up about anything and just bottled everything up.

>i would come home from school my mom would ask me how was school today?? i would say fine not tell her anything and just go to my room i did this for a long time.

I did this too. Even to this day my parents don't really know much about who I am or what I care about because I don't feel comfortable talking to them about anything aside from basic small talk.

>>4839

>my mom would ask me how was school today?? i would say fine not tell her anything

I don't know if it's conditioning but that's all I can tell my parents even today, almost every response I give them is either "fine" or "okay"

>>4845

>my mom did that my dad would pin me down to my bed and hold me until i would calm down.

They don't seem to realize the effect that these kinds of punishments have on the mind of a child. Instead of teaching us why our actions may be wrong, they chose to intimidate us and physically overpower us until we submit. Such methods teach nothing but anger and resentment.

>my parents have this illusion that i'm a very social person and love to talk about myself however it's nothing but a big lie that i have been putting on for years and they don't know the real me.

Same. My parents assume that I'm eager to get out into the world and makes friends and date and earn tons of money, but I don't really care about any of that. I just want to make enough money to support myself and be left alone.

>>4846

>>Easter's in two weeks

Damn, I didn't even realize this.

>>4847

i wish i had my own place where i lived completely on my own because if i did i would cut off all contact with my family tbh.

Me too. My plan is that once I can support myself, I'm going to get my own place and talk to my family less and less. My siblings never talk to me unless it's at a family gathering, so I basically just have to work on slowly distancing myself from my parents, then I can be alone and actually enjoy my life to some extent.

>>4858

>i may start wageslaving and saving up money to get my own place and once i have enough money to buy my own place ill. probably find a work from home job and return to the hikki life.

I plan to do pretty much the same thing. I want to save up enough money for a new PC and a few other things I need, then go full hikki again. Hopefully if I can make enough working from home I can be a hikikomori indefinitely. I sometimes think it would be really nice to find a fellow hikki in my area and setup a roommate situation, or even have a group home of only hikkis. We could split the cost of things while still having the privacy we need. Of course, I have no idea how I could find other hikkis in my area to do a thing like that.

>>4870

>it was a lot of fun back then and i do miss those days even though it wasn't that long ago at all.

That's understandable, sounded like a good friend to have. I often find that the people here on /hikki/ are the only people that I could get along with enough to want to live with. Even though we don't always share the same interests or views, there is always a willingness to understand one another which is a virtue that is lost in our society today.

>>4874

>you can't go anywhere out in society without someone giving their political opinion it's basically everywhere you go now

That's very true. There have been days where I've tried to avoid the political arguments that are all over the place, but it's impossible to avoid it entirely. I understand the significance of the events taking place in the world today, and why it's important to know how they can affect me, but sometimes I really just want a break from it all.

>people like us were never meant for this kind of a world.

Agreed. We're rational people in irrational times. We don't ask for much, but even still, we're stuck in a society that gives nothing and demands everything. Even the simple act of existing often feels like an uphill battle. That's why I'm glad we have this board, one of very few good places in a nasty and treacherous world.