Well my friend, I have also had problems with this. I thought that I was a sub, and I also perused femdom. I loved the stuff. I thought it was an aspect of my identity, that I would always be this way, that it was a part of me. Now, we know that fetishes are not natural, that is, that they are abnormal sexual appetites, caused by external factors such as upbringing, trauma, and other things, and they are not a normal part of the mind. This gave me a problem: why should I consider it a part of me if it was not natural, or part of a healthy person? I eventually came to understand that I could have such desires and still not accept them as a part of my identity. After that, I had a little bit more ease in dealing with my inclinations. If you can accept this, you will have an easier time detaching yourself from this. However, there are some other things that will help as well: Stop masturbating, Stop looking at porn, and accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. Exercise helps too, these all lead you to a more healthy life, which any kind of fetish will not be a part of. Basically, as long as you still want to hold on to your "kink", you will always have trouble with it, and you will suffer as a slave. I recommend reading Pic Related, as it is a good book, and it is very relevant to what you seem to be dealing with. Seriously, read it right now, it's only about 100 pages, you could probably read it in like 2 hours if you set your mind to it.