/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

>>220085

No, I'm Celtic

suck my fuck

finish the last thread boongs

>>220091

eat my ass

>>220092

rude

>>220094

i was just asking…

Being on the spectrum should entitle me to the DSP.

>>220095

I decline

I'm turning 22 this year and I've never been employed.

>>220104

I'm turning 26. Will be 28 when I graduate uni, still not sure what country I'll be escaping to once I'm done.

duckin out for a dart fellas

>>220106

Enjoy it

I'm a massive faggot.

Time to have some chicken breast and steamed vegetables.

Yeah, nah, fuck ya cunt.

/r/ausmemes

>>220107

I always do

>>220109

at least whip up a stir fry ya lazy cuntbag

>>220114

No chink food.

>>220115

fair cop

>>220090

THIS IS ART

You boongs couldn't finish the last thread so I had to. Do I have to do everything for you lot? Just kidding. Finished the job hunt for today, now it's sleep time. Night Night NEETs (this time for real)

Controversial comment.

>>220117

better then majority of films these days for sure

>>220116

AUSTRALIANS AIN'T GONNA COP IT

I think I'm going to move to Uruguay.

>>220125

Ur a gay

>>220124

COP in in the mouth

>>220126

this post confirms it

>>220125

What's the appeal?

I need to get my driver's licence picture changed so I can go into Dan's comfortably

Late night NEET out

NEET and greet

>>220130

*waves hand*

>>220131

there gonna be a sausage sizzle?

>>220133

I wish

>>220134

damn

Good night

>>220136

Good morning

love my pet spider calllled Mingy. He is an orrb spider. I let him crawl on the head of my penis. It felt so tingly . Fed him my pet pigeon. Now he has grown real big. spider eerections look reaaly hot. Kinda like H.R Giger art and the Aliens movie.

>>220138

More of a turtle man myself

>>220138

You disgust me more than immigration.

>>220137

Good morning

>>220104

Turning 22 also NEET

Don't give up, it took me driving all across south east Australia to find a job, don't be afraid to apply outside your area

>>220138

Based

Good morning all.

>>220143

Goon morning

Did a couple of loads of washing this morning.

Going to have a shave and a shower soon. My groin is starting to smell and sting a bit.

Welding again tonight.

>>220145

>My groin is starting to smell

Stop sniffing it all the time then - all this showering and washing stuff is unseemly for a neet.

>>220146

If I am noticing the smell then it was probably noticeable to other people yesterday.

I had such a wild dream about NK last night. First part strangely revolved around me getting dangerously gooned and accidentally falling into a fire and burning myself. Me and NK were part of some weird kinda pub regulars group except there was no actual pub, we were both kind of wandering pissheads. I remember ending up at some outdoor pub in a place called Balcutta, deep into the Qld interior and we were playing poker with some tatted up chick until I had to go to bed. I come downstairs the next morning and both nk and blokely goth girl are still awake on the dexies and piss playing poker.

He gave me this look, stated right into my soul. It was a piercing look of worry, strangely about me and the fire incident, like he didn't trust such a pisshesd like myself around his chips. I felt horrible, but sat down to join the game as if to try and prove myself.

And there I was, drinking emus in the desert with NK and some randoms playing poker on the pub counter at 9 in the morning

I think it's a sign, something about my drinking habits I haven't figured out yet

>>220043

Well now, no wonder I woke up with wood. You're an eager fella.

>>220150

Mornin

>>220046

Fucking aye

>>220070

Yum.

>>220085

Irish, French, Welsh and English

>>220096

Everyone is on the spectrum.

>>220120

>Just kidding

Don't let them get away with it. They did wrong, they deserve your criticisms.

>>220138

Hmm.

>>220151

>>220144

>>220143

Good morning.

>>220145

Do you have a dryer? Looks like it's going to rain.

Are you going to Villi's again? Review one of their stranger sounding pies.

>>220147

Natural defense mechanism from people asking you to do the dishes.

>>220148

I think it's a sign that NK will never rape you again. Your bumhole only fills him with disgust.

>>220153

>English

I don't get why people celebrate having ancestors from shit-tier nationalities like the irish, scottish highlanders or italians. Yet nobody is pleased about being descended from the english, who are probably the second most accomplished

ethnic group in the world.

>>220161

Fuck the redcoats.

>>220163

Its probably abo farts.

>>220161

Whos the first?

Off to the enterprise

Fair winds neetos

>>220166

May the force be with you.

>>220166

Good health and safe travels.

My supervisor is a redditor. They are even more cancerous in real life.

>>220169

It turns out reddit users are literally worth ess compared to everyone else:

>https://tech.slashdot.org/story/19/02/12/0032224/reddit-users-are-the-least-valuable-of-any-social-network

>>220170

Fucking KEK mate! I'm gonna show him this.

Time to wage. Have my EAP appt. this arvo.

Have fun NEETs.

I'm going to make chili beans for din dins tonight.

Can you cunts post already.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

just been out in my backyard to put a few palings back in that had fallen off the fence, ya go me

>>220158

I do have a dryer, but none of this is urgent so it can sit on the line under the verandah.

I shall visit Villi's again. I may try one of their non-pie meals to see what they're like.

>>220181

Wash it all down with some Curb Your Enthusiasm.

You cunts see they're selling spag boll flavoured chips?

aboriginal anal flavour chips

>tfw bolognaise sauce in anus hairs

https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/law-order/man-demands-answers-after-police-raid-damages-suspected-adelaide-drug-house-turns-to-be-cryptocurrency-mining-setup/news-story/bd936a9dd57eb7a0343908437232ec60?nk=c8baf8cdc734e2658ff58dfe77926113-1550021103

Just had a screaming match in a public car park with the pajeet attendant. I drive in and just as the car ahead of me goes through the “car park full” signs light up. So I’m stuck at the gate for about 10 minutes. Nobody is driving out of the carpark and the attendant is ignoring the intercom. Eventually a council worker walks up and swipes me into the car park. I drive up all 7 or 8 floors and confirm there are no parks. I drive all the way down again and hit the intercom on the boom gate. Explain the situation to pajeet who proceeds to tell me there is no way to exit without a ticket and that I’m trying to get out without paying. He only relents when I threaten to destroy the gate and start revving the commie. At this point the meeting I’m supposed to be at has started. I speed around to another carpark and their full sign is out too. So now I’m in KFC and facing going back to the office.

>>220181

Dr Katz wasn't that great. Seinfeld is OK. You should watch Curb Your Enthusiasm after.

>>220182

Get a dessert, do they sell frog cakes

You guys won't believe this.

Walking back from the shops and I found a baggie on the pavement.

First time in years that's happened and it happens now …

>>220188

That is not the wagie way.

>>220191

Sell it to some bum, I wouldn't smoke it.

>>220188

you should have taken a family feast back with you for everyone at the meeting to share

>>220194

well at least you have Mr Cone to keep you company

>>220194

>>220196

Have a cone

>>220198

Power Devour

>You WILL watch ME EAT !!!

18 degrees today in Shitbourne, gave the fence a good wash in preparation for me giving it a new coat of paint.

>>220194

What are they making you do, blue collar neet?

I saw a huge gang of somalians this morning, wearing high vis clothing and possibly pretending to be construction workers of some sort. Very disturbing. I'm unwilling to go back to that part of the suburb until I know they're gone.

>>220202

They've started stealing whole buildings now

>>220198

>>220195

The meeting was supposed to be at the joint cyber sex centre thingo with wagies from other organisations.

>>220201

Rape bums

Leaving at 3 for the shrink. Not feeling this.

>>220207

Should've watched Dr Katz to prepare you.

>>220207

dont forget to mention us

>>220209

he should tell him my carpark story, but make it his own

>>220210

And end with him eating two buckets of KFC in front of a group of starving third world orphans. And holding the mostly eaten chicken bones high into the air making the starving kids jump up to get the few remaining shreds of chicken.

>>220188

Parking is in the city is the most infuriating car related activity, even in Perth its bullshit

>>220206

I need used aboriginal dildos

>>220213

They command a hefty price.

I need to charge my iphone and do you think any of the bumholes around here will lend me a charger or usb lightening cable?

Trying to book apartment inspections but it's hard trying to get a time when I'm not at work

>>220215

Hook it up to my nipples

>>220218

That's actually a fairly reasonable list but you don't just come out and say it

>>220219

*except the moving to Canberra bit, that's just fucking disgusting

>>220217

It looks like I'm going to have to fucking drive to a jb hifi or something and buy a charger just I know I can use my phone if the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere tonight.

>>220219

Bitches spaz out about this but conveniently forget all their ads wanting a guy no shorter than 6 foot, athletic build, etc etc.

BUM BUM

>>220223

You deserve a pay cut m8 doing an unimpressive poo like that in the workplace

>>220223

your poos have gone downhill, theres no bulk, the colour is all wrong, very little roughage in it by the looks, time for lots more fruit and metamucil

Might go do a degree in boong studies NEETs

Might do a boong in my degree studies NEETs

Might give the turtle a mealworm

Might give the cat a pat

Might give mummybot a big boong

>>220229

>>220230

>>220231

>>220232

>>220233

I dont get it

This might be why possum doesn't post here anymore.

>>220234

Don't encourage them by giving them (you)'s

Might ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

>>220232

Might give the pussy a rub.

>>220236

Might encourage them by giving a few (you)'s

Might feed the possum dome poison

Anyone want to go on a NEET trip with me?

Need someone to be my goon slave pronto

Might have a Chaturwank

>>220244

Yes, buy you'll have to go in for me. Don't worry you get a cut of the goon

Fucking hell, I just googled goon slave

It may be a term for a cuck who buys women shit

The internet fucks everything

>>220246

>The internet fucks everything

No, women fuck everything (but you). And then they fuck everything up.

The approval rate for the DSP is 30%. Only the most skilled of NEETs are able to get it

>>220246

>>220247

There's nothing wrong with being a goon slave if you get a cut of the goon

>>220248

Elite NEET

>>220250

That literally looks like a Church of Dan.

DSP NEETs inhabit the upper echelons of NEET society.

>>220248

>tfw mong but not crafty enough to be dsp mong

Me? I'm a youth allowance + disability supplement subhuman

>>220256

Big stinky NEETs hiding in their rooms.

>>220256

Impressive bulge.

>>220160

What a lovely message.

>>220188

>So now I’m in KFC

I hope you got a family bucket.

>>220206

kek

>>220223

It could be the lighting, but I agree with >>220226 the poos are just not the same (perhaps you are using too many bulking agents), but thank you for the poo picture.

>>220256

I think it's a clever reference to "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" by HP Lovecraft.

>>220260

Could be a boomer booming.

>>220261

Could be a boomer blooming

>>220253

us lowly neets can only dream of such things

>>220262

"Odours of the most unplaceable quality, wholly unlike any before noted, hung at times around the door; and the air of tension observable in the young recluse whenever he did venture breifly was such as to excite the keenest speculation."

Had a monster at 4:30

Feelin like a tweaker

>>220267

I quit the energy drinks few months back.

also stopped drinking coffee after 6pm.

hasn't helped going to bed before 12pm but I'm drinking far less caffeine which is good.

Back from work and the EAP. Had a well mannered Asian shrink. It went for 2 hours and I was expecting it to go for one. Got another appt. in 2 weeks.

>>220271

What did you talk about

Did you mention that blokes spergout

>>220272

>Did you mention that blokes spergout

That was really funny, I am still laughing about that story he told us.

>>220187

Assholes.

>>220271

Chinks are pitiless automata and incapable of the empathy and soul that a therapist requires in order to connect with the patient. Besides, psychology's a sham.

>>220272

What bloke?

>>220275

I think he was Viet or Cambodian or something. He seemed nice.

>>220206

lol

>>220208

I have, I practiced my squiggly exterior before entering.

>>220209

I did. I said I have an unhealthy obsession with an online forum with about 20 people in it.

He didn't know what to say.

>>220280

Did you tell him you are addicted to Boong porn?

>>220235

He just doesn't get it.

>>220280

He was probably trying to distract you from the fact that he's a regular poster here too.

>>220281

There are some things that should remain sacred. They had an UNNA pic in the foyer.

>>220283

He then proceeded to bring up my mum. I bet he's just after my tendies.

>>220253

It can be lonely at the top.

>>220261

I have three of the things in that pic.

>>220174

>>220220

Canberra used to be good. It is harder to like it now.

uNNA

UnNA

>>220287

I have 1

I shave sometimes

Sorry for not calling mum but life isn't interesting enough to talk about unna

unnafordable

>>220293

unnafordable outback goontents

>>220261

I shave

I exercise but not at the hottie gym

I drink rarely

I do not go to restraunts with laughing homosexuals

I do not own a negress

My mum is dead

Dunno what my score is really

I only drink if mum's buying.

>>220296

Does your mum get you drunk often ?

>>220295

>I do not own a negress

we all can't be cruisey

>>220297

you're replying to NK, take a guess

>>220297

I wish

>>220261

I shave, I exercise when I have to, I don't drink.

But I don't have friends, my room is messy, and my parents are dead.

>>220300

give me your mums details, I'll post her Dan Murphy pictures until it becomes a regular trip to dans for her

>>220298

He's just ahead of his time.

In 10 years we'll all have to own one.

My condition is STABILISED and TREATED

>>220303

Is this what will happen when Tony become PM again

>>220305

A beer in every fridge and negresses for all !

>>220303

By then I hope to have multiple and then I will sell them to the lowlyNEETs requiring one.

I'm a thinker.

>>220307

Cruisey I'm not buying your 10 year old daughter, I want a 71 year old abo

My condition is GOONED and WANKED

>>220308

You don't know how old misso is.

I got a phone call and a letter from the truck co. that hit my car today. They have agreed to pay the cheaper quote I sent in. Just under a grand.

My condition is STONED and HAPPY

My tummy is HUNGRY and GASSY

>>220310

well you're expecting so if you're selling in ten years the oldest will be 10

>>220314

She wont be.

>>220314

Black women age twice as fast as whites

>>220313

>Gassy

Oy vey don't let possum know

>>220315

whos the NEET thats expecting then

>>220317

>>220313

>tfw fartocaust

>>220316

is that why they have 8 children

geez Cruiseys gunna be busy, I feel for him

>>220318

Weber

>>220304

You didn't visit Dan on the day of your assessment and that's why your DSP was rejected. You failed Dan.

>>220311

glad to hear it's being sorted out

>>220323

Cheers man, I'll be glad when it is sorted then I can stop worrying about cops.

>>220324

Will the repair be of decent quality?

>>220295

>own a negress

Now when you put it like that, cruisey suddenly acquires dignity, is seen as a man of property, a pillar of the neet community.

>>220325

I presume so.

>>220326

>a pillar of the neet community.

Implying I'm not already?

>>220328

I prefer to think of you as the tree that possum lives in.

>>220321

weber doesn't have a gf just an ex wife

keep up with neetlore

>>220329

I see Cruisey as more important as Possum

He's basically our "who watches the watchmen" who keeps possum on his toes, even when possum shuts the neet gen off

333

>>220334

doggo looks sad

>>220218

Why would a man use a snap chat filter?

>>220336

Because he's a massive faggot

>>220334

That's so cute.

>>220220

d-don't bully

C-Canberra c-can be nice to drive around

also can they unblur it I might know him

>>220339

Canberra is a very grim place

>>220334

Is .. is that possum raping that dog ?

Whats up guys

>>220343

the ceiling

>>220344

But if I live above you your ceiling is below me.

>>220345

and if the dog didn't stop for a piss it would've caught the rabbit

>>220322

knowing centrelink it's probably going to take months to find out how my assessment went

>>220346

But the rabbit was a wolf in sheeps clothing

I go have a quick nap and come back to NEETporn.

Also woke up to misso bringing me kfc

Any NEETs gone to Monash?

>>220350

The University ?

>>220351

Yes

>>220352

Nope

Proxmox is installed. Time for fun

>>220330

An ex wife called NoFun, no wonder he left her.

Now NoFun gets boongbux and exec wagie child support, bitch still isn't happy.

>>220331

I'm the guy on the inside that will keep the goon flowing.

Marriage is an archaic institution that no NEET should enter.

>>220335

>tfw two bulges

>>220357

So is work!

>>220356

Be careful Cruisey, running this place seems to send people mad.

Actually that's any internet community really.

>>220350

Did you know that it was named after a jewish guy whose main achievement in life was sending wave after wave of aussie soldiers to their deaths in world war 1?

>>220361

No but I want to study engineering there but I never finished year 12 so I have to study a year of a science degree there

>>220357

>>220359

The modern man solves both problems by owning a negress.

Beautiful, intelligent, well mannered irregular chicks marrying big bulge neets

>>220363

Are there many negresses around the Clayton area?

>>220362

>engineering

You'd better hope Australia still has at least 1 engineering job by the time you graduate.

>>220361

Nonsense, he was a great general, one of the best of WW1.

>>220366

We'll have a pajeet doing it for cheap

>>220365

No, but there's an infinite supply of gooks. Caulfield also has jews.

>>220361

I had to actually check if he was jewish and he was haha. in fairness though Gallipoli was more of Winston Churchills fault then his

>boongress

Nah, it doesn't work

>>220368

>>220366

Probably best to choose an engineering specialty that can't be outsourced then

>>220367

Who could forget what an epic win gallipoli was?

>>220369

Do you reckon the gooks would want to date a mature-age student such as myself?

>>220373

We taught those turk bullets not to fuck with us !

>>220374

If you find a mercenary one yeah.

If she's after someone to live off an older blokes gonna be less dodgy maybe

>>220374

m8 they will be all over you like maggots on a decaying corpse

>tfw no gook maggot gf

>>220376

I'm sure uniNEET is heir to a vast fortune that will satisfy even the most mercenary of chink gold diggers.

>>220347

Dan can turn those months into hours for you.

I normally say Unna a lot under my breath

Today I said it while a mob of boongs rolled by, I wonder if they heard me

>>220380

Dan turned me into a newt

I got better

>>220376

What does mercenary mean in this context

>>220384

Well she has a purpose in the office m8. She's the furniture.

>>220384

What the fug

>>220384

kek

>>220384

Sounds fun

>>220360

Like a fox.

>>220384

lol

>>220364

Yes. This is the future.

she got all pissed at me when I was berating how stupid she was, all fucking "I'm not a tech genius like you stop looking at me like that"

so cmon cough it up, which one of you NEETs raised this bitch? was it you NK?

>>220371

Abodite

As in Aphrodite

nah that doesn't work either

>women in the office

a horrible thought

>>220381

I have noticed myself saying it too.

It's contagious and is sure to get NEETs in to hot water.

>>220394

ok, so she's not overly smart, is she at least a qt?

>>220384

You should give her a go, tell her you'll teach her ow to use the pc.

>>220385

Only doing it for the money

Sexually Frustrated NEET Technician

>>220394

>I was berating how stupid she was

Don't blow it.

>>220397

>hot water

the abos call it goon

>>220395

femboong ?

boongfem ?

fegbogom ?

what about the tried and tested Gin

it just works

>>220402

He'll be blowing his load soon

>>220398

she would have been when she was young, but she's getting onto 40,

>>220399

You stick the USB into the port here see, and then out, and in, and so on

>>220400

What about if I don't have money

Misso brought home a burger box, all I ate was most of the nuggets, some popcorn chicken and a packet of chips. Gave the other box of chips and the remainder of the nuggets to the dog.

I will never be an exec at this rate.

>>220407

>she's getting onto 40

sounds like Webers kinda gal

>>220407

>insert floppy disk in slot a

>activate hard drive

>insert into motherboard

>circuit overload

>cum on her fans

>>220409

I believe in you m8, I always have. Keep trying to snack more throughout the day and you'll bulk up in no time.

>>220408

Then you've gotta hope for love m8

>>220385

the masketta man

>>220409

You might get an executive dog though

>>220412

I have 4 kentucky burgers that are teasing me. They laugh at the foreman.

>>220415

He wants more. I have a lot to learn from him.

>>220417

Try and lick your balls

>>220416

Just start nibbling at them. I know you can do it. You have struggled with being a foreman for so long, but with a little dedication you'll get there. An office job would suit you well. Get a mini fridge and fill it snacks m8.

What should I do

I'm bored

>>220420

have a Unna

>>220420

Dan's still open all across Australia.

>>220422

only 3 minutes left in the east though

he best hurry up

>>220422

Only for 3 more minutes

>>220420

>>220418

I have not met anyone in real life who is not a complete fuckstick for about five years.

>>220420

Eat a lemon

>>220426

why are you bullying me

>>220426

You need to stop meeting complete fucksticks mate

>>220428

>>>/twitter/

>>220427

Eat a Lime

>>220426

>fuckstick

I think you have to high a standard for people

>>220429

How?

>>220432

>to high

>to

Irony intended.

>>220433

Kill them at sniper range

It;'s the only way to be sure

>>220430

What did he mean by this

Shit I just realised I havent had a wank today

I wonder how often cruisey and weber wank

so why is the bored so active today? recently it's been 1 NEET general lasts like 3-4 days and then the next one goes in one day

>>220437

I had way too many wanks today tbh

>>220435

Not there yet NEET.

>>220438

Because I arrived and stoked the flames

>>220438

Its all me tbh

If I don't get to bang my checkout chick I may go into a sexual frenzy and shag everyones mummybots

Be warned NEETs

>>220443

you have my blessings

And another thing that pisses me off. The backspace key used to go back in all web browsers but it no longer does, because morons couldn't work out how to fill out forms properly. This means that I can't go back one handed.

>>220438

NK is on dexies again

>>220184

I couldn't find any spaghetti flavoured chips at the supermarket. I did get some snag + sauce flavoured ones, but they don't really taste like snag + sauce, or particularly great.

>>220418

My back and neck hurts.

>>220438

There's something in the air. Everyone IRL seems more annoying than usual.

>>220445

Set a hotkey dummy

>>220450

>There's something in the air.

Oh Lord

>>220450

Its valentines day tomorrow which is probably it

>>220419

I do have a relatively large office.

Maybe I should be the snacking type.

>>220452

Its love

>>220445

works in palemoon

>>220452

> I can feel it

> Cumming in the air tonight

>>220426

What's wrong with fucksticks?

>>220453

Ah fuck that explains it. No wonder the whores are so retarded tonight. Stupid hallmark holidays.

>>220450

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes.

anyone wanna play chess again?

https://lichess.org/XY0RsvdU

>>220461

I never learnt how to play chess

>>220458

It's a generic insult somewhat synonymous with "mouth-breathing moron".

>>220457

Well, if you told me you were wanking

I would not lend a dexie

Did 1st date NEET ever check in from the other night ?

She may have killed and eaten him, I've heard females do that.

>>220461

i might if no one else wants to

>>220463

whats wrong with mouth breathing

>>220465

they probably had sex and she ate his head like a preymantis

>>220467

It's what fucksticks do

>>220430

Cool board.

>>220456

>>220451

Fuck I'm a moron, my mouse has back and forward keys on it.

>>220468

This is why I only have sex with women from behind

And then run away afterwards

>>220470

Nice post. I'm gonna spam it.

>>220437

It's either first thing in the morning or as soon as I get home from work.

Not as much as I used to.

>>220469

am I a fuckstick