/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

2 months and 10 days till a special guys birthday

Not a fan of lasagna, personally

Pulled out all the stops with this thread.

Good lasagna is ok, bad is awful

>>219349

concerning post

>>219349

jej, rip

>>219341

I just eat it because my childhood hero, Garfield, ate it. Come to think of it, I've turned out a lot like Garfield.

>>219352

I've turned out more like Jon

>>219352

have you watched this

>>219353

I've turned out like John Blyth Barrymore

>>219352

>>219353

Garfield embodies the NEET spirit while Jon embodies the wagie spirit.

>>219356

Impotence

Tfw munchies but only have chicken and vegetables and cant be bothered cooking again

>>219356

It's the smug pepe / feelsbadman pepe dichotomy

>>219359

It is indeed.

>>219356

I've just noticed that Jim Davis's wikipedia article claims he's jewish. Is nothing sacred anymore?

>>219362

Sounds more like a sperg concentration camp

>>219362

>scary

only if they took away the goon

>>219364

They would

They'd only give nk 2 dexies a day too so we couldnt all have one big dexie fest

>>219349

Himmler would spin in his grave if he knew you were lusting after his child daughter. sick fuck faggot piece of niggershit

>>219365

>locked up with a pissed off rapeneet for an unspecified amount of time

NEETGod help those unlucky neets

>>219365

>Implying NK wouldn't be in on it the whole time and ends up being the interrogator, all because ASIO gave him 20 dexies

Watched a terrible movie, it was a new robin hood.

Absolutely dreadful.

>>219369

Now that I've realised this I can leave, r-right?

Comment

>>219375

Stick your penis on a hot surface and you'll be pleasantly surprised

>>219375

Experiment with vegetables.

I've eaten like a swine today.

>>219378

good it'll help build ~fat~ muscle

>>219378

bigboi

>>219378

Do you have a trough?

Sudden onset of memories of Melbourne.

I feel sorry for you NEETs.

>>219383

Good night neet. Don't let the tfw depressed bugs bite

>>219385

Good lord

>>219385

Impotence

>>219388

Fug, that's a fair bit of weed.

>>219389

Yep.Won't know for a few days till it's dry but I think my guesses may have been pretty good.

>>219388

very nice, we're all proud of you NEET

>>219388

Can I have an ounce on tick bro

anyone else notice archive.is isn't available in AUS anymore? I tried it with a VPN and it worked.

>>219391

Thanks m8, sorry for all the posts but I've only 2 other people to show it to.

Ones a non smoker and the others a professional grower.

>>219392

No probs m8, I'll meet you by the joondie Dans dumpsters at 10

>>219393

nevermind NEETs I'm just being a fucking flathead and typing it wrong

>>219395

>>219393

Did you smoke all that weed already?

>>219400

Work for the Dole Makes You Free

POO

WANK

BUM

thread hasn't reached 740's yet

>>219406

all of your bum rash is belong to us

>>219382

It's not a nice place, being in the CBD last night reminded me of this.

I might give my penis a good washing.

>>219409

has there been a bit of dirt buildup, or just dried semen?

Something smells very strange in my room. Night Night NEETs.

Morning neets. What happened to date NEET last night? Did he finally lose his virginity?

>>219411

Probably not you then, as you get used to your own smell and thus can never really tell if you smell bad or not.

Morning all.

>>219385

Strange OC NEET

>>219413

>>219412

Hello.

>>219388

Nicely done.

>>219395

You fucking flathead

>>219394

>joondie Dans dumpsters at 10

>tfw he's still standing there

>>219419

>tfw you set a fellow NEET up for a 6 hour rape marathon

Up n at em neets

>>219408

I had an onslaught of memories of that trip a few months back when I took that family over there. The way people behave and operate is very different.

>>219420

I should rephrase that at laying there.

>>219421

Sup NEETie.

>>219425

This is the best of all possibilities.

Got up early, sat around doing nothing, now I'm barely on time and will need to rush a bit.

Going to work sucks.

>>219427

Quit your job and become a professional youtuber.

The wagie rage has started for another week

>>219430

Fuck, that old guys a legend.

Driving while coma drunk with 2 disqualifications, you don't get more Aussie that that.

>>219428

A worrying development

I've got my finest polo on and leaving for the office early

>>219430

This is impressive.

>>219435

I feel like I haven't had a weekend in a month.

I think the wagies can hear the sweet,sweet call of Cenno on the winds.

>>219388

thanks for all the pics m8, It's been interesting watching it all grow

>>219429

I think I have as many subscribers as I'm going to get.

>>219441

I'm sure you can improve on 0.

>>219428

She will be disappointed.

>>219442

I think I have 5, all of which have 'NEET' in their handle.

>>219443

No she won't. I bed she goes home to Chad and complains about the stinky fat loser she has to tolerate for 30 minutes.

>>219430

What a dude.

>>219446

I don't like it when you degrade yourself. You are only one of those things, stinky.

>>219431

You wanna go carrnt?

>>219435

Good luck today matey, you'll be fine.

>>219438

I would automatically be put back on to dsp too.

>>219444

For every two subscribers I get, you can have one.

Anyone have anything exciting on this week my NEETs?

>>219454

I'm waiting on a packet, so I'll get to check my letterbox everyday until it arrives

>>219454

Im not, usual NEET things sit infront of the computer play games and watch movies, do a bit of exercise. What about you?

>>219455

A packet of what?

>>219453

I do not like this image.

>>219454

I will need to buy more milk at some stage. That's probably the peak.

>>219457

just a padded bad bag with a Bluray in it

>>219458

Tick Tock

>>219461

Wake up in the morning feeling like NEET King

Grab my glasses, I'm out the door; I'm gonna hit this Dan

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

>>219421

Beat em and eat em neets!

Big rape

>>219465

>Ph*neposter

>>219467

hoil hortler

cya

>>219472

Where are you going?

>>219473

hell

>>219474

Bring me back a box of hot wings

>>219474

Call me when you get there.

Only had a six inch subway for lunch. And water.

>>219477

What did you get on your sub?

>>219478

Italian BMT, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, salt, pepper.

>>219479

you didnt get any sauce?

>>219480

No.

>>219481

Why not?

>>219482

I cannot think of a sauce that would in any way compliment ham, salami, pepperoni and cheese.

>>219483

Fair enough.

>>219483

A good mustard would but not subway shit in a bottle mustard

>>219370

I saw one clip of that with Jamie Foxx and Taron Edgerton and th out it was the most God-awful crap I've ever seen.

People with autism spectrum disorder (me) should automatically qualify for the DSP.

Just had a monster energy drink for the first time in years

My stomach is rumbling and twitching as a result

>>219488

Caffeinated drinks give me anxiety

>>219488

I dislike energy drinks

>>219487

No, you work pay tax for goon tent

>>219492

I've never been employed before

>>219493

They still assume you can be though.

BUM BUM

>>219486

>Taron Edgerton

What sort of faggot name is this?

How did that date go last night?

>>219497

NEETs who don't provide timely updates give me the shits. I like to live vicariously through them and I can't do this if they do not provide updates.

BITCH LASAGNA

>>219499

PUSSY ALFREDO

>>219500

POSSUM SCALOPINI

I'm the neet that was asking about approaching girls at the rundle mall. I was too much of a pussy to do anything about that today but I had a qt smile at me and look down at the library. I was too autismo to realize I should talk to her until I was catching the train back home.

>>219502

It's a start mate. The fact you're getting smiles means you must look OK.

I wish I had a plane to John Denver.

Having a nice refreshing lemonade.

>>219505

I was going to not drink tonight but have decided to drink myself into a coma instead.

>>219506

Most unfortunate.

>>219507

It will be fun.

>>219509

That sucks, also Dan does not accept good boy points.

>>219509

Superglue the locks on your local Cenno and Max.

>>219513

brap

>>219514

post brap pepe

>>219516

Just fake food poisoning each week and get a cert for the remainder of that particular week.

>>219516

I'm doing a 12 month online warehouse course. It makes me fee like I am in some kind of special ed class, it gets me out of WFD though.

>>219519

>online

Is it self paced or do you have to sign in for lectures?

If you have to sign in a mouse wiggler would probably let you go back to whatever else you were doing.

>>219520

It's basically a test each weak with information you are supposed to read, like it will have a pdf saying 'according to the business procedures of such and such you must contact x if you wish to do report a hazard'

then the quiz will say 'if you wish to report a hazard who must you contact according to the business procedures of such and such?'

It's dumb but it's just a 20 minute quiz once a week.

>>219522

that sounds excellent

>>219523

It's better than work for the dole at least, but I will have to do that again one day.

>>219519

How are you going to learn to drive a forklift online?

>>219516

>10 people didnt show up and now they are off the neetbux

There needs to be a category for people who are too autistic to fill out forms and manage centrelink requirements, give us carers to do all that stuff for us.

>>219465

Canadians have always been better shitposters than us.

>>219525

It's not a forklift course, it's 12 months of rubbish. I can't even remember most of it. They wan't to make me do a forklift course afterwards though…

>>219526

Canadians make low quality posts. The truly brilliant shit posts only ever comes from Australians or kiwis.

>>219486

>Jamie Foxx

No shit, that's who it was.

btw that's Little John.. He's also muslim and African and goes unnoticed in 12th century England with weird dots on his face and a metal hand.

Quality entertainment.

>>219412

26 degrees today in Shitbourne, internet was fucked today and got a text from Telstra saying that there will be an outage tomorrow.

how in fuck are you going to learn warehousing from a fucking online course you bloody drongo

>>219532

He isn't, he is going to keep getting his neetbux though.

>>219532

Well Monk couldn’t keep one long enough to write a Warehousing for NEETs tome..

Cant see your dick past your gut?

Grow a bigger dick.

>>219492

You.

>>219535

how come I didn't think of this sooner.

>>219536

NoFung

>>219504

He flew his into a beach.

189 emails today.

>>219541

thats a lot

>>219541

stop signing up for shit with that email then, if you're just going to use something once, or have an inkling you don't want them to know your actual email, try this site, most places don't blacklist it (cept FB and a few others)

https://temp-mail.org/en/

>>219540

I thought he flew it into the grand canyon.

>>219512

That was nice.

>>219521

Those gloves are pretty clever.

>>219547

Clever would be the reverse.

>>219544

This was at work

>>219528

>replying to my shitpost

silly.

>>219545

I heard he crashed on a country road

>>219548

You talk to the gloves and they sign?

>>219551

West Virginia.

>>219552

Yes.

>>219552

now theres an idea, im going to copyright that one before you!

>>219554

That's a bit silly.

>>219556

Versus getting the person doing the signing to just speak what they're signing?

>>219545

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Denver#Death

>Denver was not legally permitted to fly at the time of the accident. In previous years, Denver had a number of drunk driving arrests.[53] In 1996, nearly a year before the accident, the Federal Aviation Administration learned that Denver had failed to maintain sobriety by failing to refrain entirely from alcohol, and revoked his medical certification.[44][45] However, the accident was not influenced by alcohol use, as an autopsy found no sign of alcohol or other drugs in Denver's body.[54][47]

DAN KILLED HIM

>>219558

They're blind, how could they hear what they are signing?

uh

>>219561

Awful Korean garbage.

>>219561

i have sexed all of those bitchez

>>219562

Yeah, misso likes it.

They are trying to be white by emulating the whites that do the negro sex music like nicki minaj type stuff.

so lonely

Might get married I reckon boys

>>219564

>Yeah, misso likes it.

I don't care, I don't remember subscribing to your blog.

>>219567

Cut the fucking attitude out.

>>219566

dont be stupid

someone sounds angry

BIG FRESH STEAMY ABBO POO

>>219572

CHUCK THE POO IN A CONDOM AND PUT IT IN THE FREEZER, TAKE IT OUT THREE HOURS LATER AND USE IT AS A BIG ABBO POO BUM DILDO

Some psycho wog bitch rocked up to the servo as I was filling up today. She came in the exit, did a horrible 3 point turn to get into the servo and then took 2 carparks and left her car running with loud music playing to buy some smokes.

She looked like a hotter amy winehouse but was complaining about her shitty day to the pajeets staffing the place telling her not to park that like, then she mouthed off at some guy for "double parking" because his car was physically larger than the car parks.

Me and him made eye contact and grinned in a moment of mutual disgust, it was nice.

>>219574

did she have darker skin?

>>219575

She was on the greeker side of things

>>219577

Bogan wog bitches are the worst.

The ones at school needed a good shower in napalm

>>219577

you should have murdered her

>>219578

>The ones at school needed a good shower in napalm

There was only one gobshite wog at my school. A boy hit her in the face with a tennis racquet edge-on and fucker her shit up good.

>>219581

We had a pack of them.

They stank old pizza and cigarettes and cackled like witches.

And all had boyfriends twice their age.

>>219581

Now that I think about it, I miss 90's high school. Random acts of ultra violence were just shrugged off with detentions and shit. Now they'd have the cops and psychologists and media and shit involved.

>>219583

Yeah, I remember that.Teachers would ignore horrific fights because they couldn't be bothered dealing with it.

>>219584

A girl in year 10 literally stabbed a guy in the back with a pair of scissors for calling her surf board tits, and HE got a detention after he returned from hospital a couple of days later. This wasn't a state school either, it was a private school with a good reputation.

>>219570

I'll feed you to NK weeb.

>>219585

Did the media hear about it?

>>219586

He don't care m8, he's a wild hardcore weeb on the edge.

>>219587

Nah. This was 95, the guy was a prick, so everybody pretty much agreed he had it coming. A little while later she was riding her horse on a weekend and brushed up against a power pole that had gone live and her horse died and crushed her lol.

>>219589

That sounds like witchcraft to me

>>219574

Women should not be allowed to drive. But I'm pretty sure asian women are worse than wogs. Literally every one I've ever known has caused a serious accident.

>>219590

Could be. What year was The Craft released?

>>219591

Asians can't see past their eyelids.

>>219591

A nasty misogynist post.

>>219497

It was probably a local rapist in drag, some of them are very committed for their meal

Yeah fuck it, I'm celebrating with a long neck

>>219596

you weak fart pastie

>>219596

You earned it. One more day and you have can have a sickie.

>>219588

I hate anime

>>219589

kek

>>219596

Celebrate with a long aboriginal cock

>>219599

I missed you, NF.

>>219599

big poof

>>219607

That's not fixed, idiot…

>>219605

can you put your skills of drawing to good use by drawing like more frogs or some shit, rather than weeb crappo

Hi

>>219610

iH

>>219608

>>219603

I take it back.

>>219610

sup babby

wan sum fuk?

>>219615

89 aint a bad number bucko

>>219616

For a native.

Possum must have visited, that jew message has disappeared.

Can we train possums to remove the new?

Jew

Fuck it, I'm going back to animu

>>219623

>>219624

nice samefagging dumbass

I am going to bed

>>219630

yeah some people on these boards take it all too serious

I SAID

I AM GOING TO BED

>>219632

Way too early cunt

>>219596

You sirry iriot

>>219632

G-good night.

>>219632

I thought we were doing no sleep February?

>>219619

He didn't even tell me.

>>219619

…and NoFun returns.

What sort of tomfoolery is this?

>>219629

Sleep tight.

>>219636

How are you going with that?

>>219640

Bad, but im always bad with those sort of challenges.

>>219641

Maybe he came and saw that I can't control you NEETs and just left. I hate not being able to live up to what people expect of me.

NEETs I'm still wondering about the bloke in WA who blew 0.341. How did he go about doing this?

>>219643

You bad mah fucka, you deadly bad.

>>219645

Probably with alcohol.

>>219645

I'm starting to think maybe the machine broke or something, but then again they would do multiple checks if it's that fucking high

>>219646

You got that right

>>219644

it's ok there, do not fret, we're all here to support and love you

>>219649

Got game and can't be played.

>>219651

is it cluedo? I got cluedo but no-one to play with too.

>>219652

>tfw have no friends to play board games with.

>>219650

Thank you kindNEET.

>>219652

The game is in the spare room with the dice.

>>219654

I'll tie you to a board and we can play games in the dumpster

>>219654

Winner. Always a winner.

Weber's a big freak.

Just woke up

>>219660

Post your legs.

>>219660

Do a poo

Gotdang

The NEETs are all uppity and fast posting

>>219663

Eager for legs and poo.

Anyone else own a turtle? I do

>>219666

I can tell you are proud.

>>219665

When I’m doing a poo it’s a bit like a turtle’s head poking out my bottom hole

Who here is shit posting?

>>219671

I shit therefore I post

>>219672

Beautiful.

>>219671

There are no shitposts, just divine truths you are unwilling to accept.

>>219674

I can do irish yoga

>>219675

So if im shitposting things i dont believe does that mean they are right?

>>219675

>There are no shitposts, just heavily digested versions of previously fresh memes, now drained of their former nourishing humour.

>>219676

Aboriginal yoga

I had something truly wonderful happen today NEETs.

I'm 10k and I'm also the NEET who briefly dated his checkout chick last year.

Anyhow, I still chat to her and I popped in on her break today to give her a bud.

She goes "Aw thanks, but where can I stash it, I know" and pulls her top down and stuffs it in her bra giving me a perfect tit flash and then an embarresed smile.

I was a bit mindblown at the time but I'm asking her out again.

It seems tv and movies weren't lying about drug people getting all the women.

>>219527

Seriously, why don't they make these stupid courses about web development or something that you could in principle learn online and find use for?

>>219680

Why don't the two of you share a romantic cone, and you can turn her into your drug slave.

>>219678

Nice shitpost.

>>219682

That sounds like an awesome plan

>>219680

As long as it's just pot.

>>219685

Yeah, I don't touch other stuff anymore

>>219680

You should have raped her, it was almost implied consent

feeling severely nervous about the new job

We should get the government to subsidize abbo posting as a cultural event.

Tfw just wanna get baked

Maybe when I get paid

I was thinking of joining a local pony club to find a gf but they are all uggos for some reason.

>>219691

Find a nice abbo and give him a tugger. He might slip you some of his cenno money.

I think I'll have an early one, my dad's bipolar is flaring up real bad and he's acting manic as fuck. Very stressful. Night Night NEETs.

Do I need social media in order to get a gf?

>>219692

You just just fuck the horses instead, you can even warm yourself up with a couple of chickens before you go for the big game

Im falling into nihilistic depressive thinking again.

>>219492

Nofun you boong

>>219698

is that monk

>>219697

same

goodnight bong heads

>>219702

you mean boong heads

UNNA

>>219493

>I've never been employed before

Stay pure, young neet.

The thread is becoming as quiet and as stupid as a roomful of autistic retards. Time to head over to 4pol for the qanda thread and some extreme reeee-ing

>>219705

Stay there you fucking faggot.

>>219705

I'm on the spectrum.

>>219700

It's what he does between jobs

>>219705

It's always quiet in my room.

>>219707

same

>>219705

>4/pol/

there best be sex clowns or you're dumb tbh