/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

NEETs Becoming Fathers Edition

>>217829

>go out and see some nature

I really have an inkling to do this, maybe at the end of the year when I have time off.

>>217833

That was my edition. I told him I was on it.

>>217829

>Slow And Steady

The last gen took over three days to finish.

I have been offered a promotion to office-wagie, a warranty clerk, if I accept the promotion I will be dealing with normies and the problems with their new and near new cars that are still under warranty and making sure their cars are covered, it's rather complex since it could be normies just treating their vehicles like shit which would not be covered by warranty or genuine wear and tear within the warranty period, there is a significant pay rise and less hours but at the cost of dealing with irate normies.

>hoping for possum

it is ok to hope for possum.

>>217842

Congrats man, are you still going to be doing any mechanics?

Any inexpensive and healthy recipes you neets can suggest?

>>217848

Mushroom soup with hokkien noodles.

>>217846

If I accept the positions I will be a full office wagie, no more working on the floor with cars, just handling warranty claims.

I'm not sure if I should accept it.

>>217850

Ask for a guarantee that if it doesn't work out you can go back to being a spanner spinner.

>>217851

This is what I was thinking, I don't want to take the job and end up hating it and quit, at least that way I can go back to wrenching.

>>217852

I did the same for my job but I don't think i could be a support worker with this company if shit fucked up.

How many of you had relatives in Vietnam? I had an uncle go but that was it. The rest of the men got lucky I guess. Lots of my relatives in the world wars but none in Korea, Malaya or the Boer war as far as I know.

>>217854

Sorry about my flag lads. I've fixed it.

>>217853

I think I will take the position, but see If I can get a guarantee if I can get back on the floor working on cars if it doesn't work out.

>>217854

None, but one of my uncles fought in Vietnam, apparently my Dad's name got called to go but there was a mix up of some sort and he got let off the hook.

>>217856

err not none, I've had a few of Dan's treats.

>>217856

>mix up of some sort

Is that because they had already drafted your uncle?

>>217858

I'm not sure the exact details, apparently my grandfather who had served in WW2 thought it was erroneous that my Dad got drafted and complained to some higher up and he didn't have to serve.

4 days without a dart

Easy so far

>>217860

Why doesn't Dan get into the glue business too?

>>217855

you are becoming a VPN addict, you should seek counselling before it ruins your life

>>217864

Don't forget the metho.

>>217863

The peace of mind when I go pirating shit, browsing imageboards and researching /k/ type shit is worth it.

>>217860

Dan you big Jew, if all the boongs die you will go broke

>>217865

Based Uncle Ted said that to be happy humans need to have two things:

>goals that require effort

>partial success

Set some minor goals for yourself and don't get too hung up about not meeting them. Going for a walk is a good start. Gradually increase with harder and harder goals. You can do it mate.

>>217868

I shouldn't tell you this but Dan is behind the unna posting as he is trying to get that potent neet seed into boong poon to breed more boongs. More boongs = more business for Dan.

Gotta go before the Dan Occupied Government (DOG) get me.

>>217872

Dan also owns shares in all the big abo porn companies. He is hoping to get it mainstream in order to increase the market value of his investment. It is also a form of economic warfare against the Ukrainians. He is planning on crashing their economy by drawing attention from Ukrainian girls to the much superior unna. He is planning on then ethnically cleansing Ukraine and using it as an ethnostate for breeding more boongs.

>>217876

Stop having the pretty checkout chicks smirk when they see my goofy id photo.

HEY POSSUM YA CUNT

DON'T BAN BOONG POSTING

BAN DAN POSTING

#BANDAN2019

>>217879

I brew my own grog now, ya cunt.

>>217882

That'll be fifteen minutes with one of your boong girls mate.

>>217884

Fucking hell mate, I didn't think they would be that hot. I'll give ya four goon bags.

Do ya reckon that boongs find other boongs attractive?

>>217886

They keep having kids. And sex with kids. So they must.

A nice chicken dinner and a bottle of sangria.

>>217888

>sangria

Dirty.

>tfw sufficiently gooned

Thank you Dan.

While reading through Dan posts, the voice in my head sounds more and more like a dirty junkie's the longer the posting goes.

>>217891

Dan is much higher than a junkie, although he probably helps many NEETs into junkiedom via his younger brother Brian.

>>217891

Yet another reason to #BanDan

>>217893

fuck off rusky were full

>>217894

I think he's a trublue NEET just with a vpn.

Back at dsp bros, all has been forgiven. He's about to put on season 4 of the Simpsons.

>>217896

What a forgiving lad, don't mess it up this time.

>>217895

>>217894

That I am.

>>217899

It looks like a dog.

>>217896

You no the gook brews and cones?

>>217901

Yeah dsp bro did a few cashies this week so he bought an ounce

>>217896

You are lucky to have such a good mate and he is likewise lucky to have such a kind and humble NEET to be a mate.

What sort of people pay for porn?

>>217904

Wankers.

Found NK's new car, equipped with doilys for delicate rapes.

http://www.j-spec.com.au/featured/2001-Toyota-Crown-Athlete_V-17987.html

>>217906

Would it be boomers that can't into internet?

>>217908

It would make sense as boomers that watch porn are probably used to paying for porn (magazines and video cassettes) plus have lots of disposable income.

>>217908

99% boomers, and 1% of millennials who can't find some obscure fetish on free sites.

>>217899

Our executive population is growing.

>>217833

cruisey you boong

>>217907

He should get a new model crown. Those are very classy, 2009 or 2010 was very advanced for its age.

>>217913

Too expensive for NK

If I had the cash I'd buy one in a heartbeat

>>217912

Your a boong

>>217847

Nah

>>217915

So is she preggers

>>217878

t. craig

>>217907

>10 grand for a glorified 2001 Camry

Why tho

>>217917

Pretty sure that's the cunno boong

Hope it isn't shire, although the promotion is just in time. He'll be a balding used car salesman in 5 years.

>>217918

Dan posting was originally a reddit/facebook meme.

>>217904

Trump

>>217920

Another mixed race mutt child. We may as well give this place back to the boongs, they're winning the demographic war.

>>217922

He paid for a porn star, not porn. And if you're that rich, the money means nothing.

>>217921

Stepmates is kino despite being normalfags, we just took the Dan Kino and turned it into our own

The Tourism vid is unironically great

Fucking took me an hour to get home, some stupid fucking dog crashed his car on the freeway. I bailed off the freeway and tried to take another way home but it was packed full of other cunts that had the same idea

>>217923

>they're winning the demographic war

LOL, Boongs are FUCKED, full boongs are expected to be extinct by 100 or so years time, there is only 500,000 boongs left and the vast majority aren't pure boongs

the day the last boong dies all hope will die from the world

>>217927

Every neet must do his bit and inseminate the nearest boong to prevent boong extinction.

>>217926

always happens

Where the fuck did this thing about boongs being scared of cameras come from? Is it a fairly recent development or were they scared of them back in the early days of pre-federation Australia?

>>217923

Fuck you mate WE ARE THE BOONGS

Embrace culture.

>>217930

Colonialists used cameras back in 1788 and took embaresing pictures of abos wanking, after which boongs were scared those white dogs would take more pics of them wanking to send to a flustered queen

>>217935

who

>>217934

>>217934

Wasn't George III in power? He should've sent some photos right back! Photos of him wanking to the photos of them wanking.

>>217919

Fucking solid car man, turbo inline 6 supra engine, luxurious interior with doilys.

>>217920

>Monk has a bitch pregnant

Hey Monk I would unironically come to your wedding

>>217939

>at his wedding

>>217940

He's got her pregnant, he has to marry her now, those are the rules

>>217920

It's not me (shire) I never want kids.

It is a little known fact that the British got hold of dot painting abo porn back in the early 1780s. The demand was so high in Britain that they nearly went bankrupt and so they introduced the boongs to goon to counter the effects of abo porn. They later practiced the same tactic against the Chinese with tea/opium.

>>217943

this is true and shameful

>>217930

Captures their soul or some shit. When I was younger, before I heard about black fulla's wise ways, I thought the same. I thought/felt that when you die that you'd live through your imagery, like the people in the photos looking at me are seeing me after they die and reliving this time.

I still sort of feel like that.

>>217944

>fuck off you fat nigger

lol

>>217931

He it will be a boy will be a great man and you will be a great dad.

>>217932

I'd give her a bit.

>>217943

The eternal anglo.

>>217943

Fun fact the whole using Opium against China was actually a ruse, they actually used Abo Porn, the cover up was created so that the French who held nearby Veitnam didn't find out about Abo porn

In fact the reason why Australia is experiencing such high levels of Chinese immigration is because of said Boong Porn operations there which made them want a boong bf, but unfortuantally the Chinese (who can't leave city areas) were unable to find abos who live in rural areas, so the Chinese went for Monk and Shire instead

>>217931

Monk you boong, how was the cunny honey

>>217942

Too bad, she does.

>>217953

Maybe, maybe not.

>>217953

>FUCKU ME HARDERU BIRBO BAGGINS SAN

>GIBU MEU SUMMU CHIRDENURU

<Fuck off

>>217939

NK would cum in the cake then jack off when the misso rubs it on monk's face.

>>217955

You fuck off buddy, he will achieve immortality through his genetics and you will still be determining what dictates race.

>>217955

kek

>>217954

They all do, it's fucked.

>>217959

>tfw no GF who wants a loving autistic family with me

>>217959

I think most women want children, it's like some biological clock thing.

>>217960

I don't get it.

>>217961

One day man.

Half chink name recommendations please

>>217963

The Joke is the way asians talk tbh

>>217965

Rodger

>>217962

And all men want multiple women, that is a biological thing too. One is socially acceptable. Fucking bitches.

>>217965

Willchang

>>217965

Keanu.

>>217968

In barbarian times if you were a big thug you could have multiple women and get them all pregnant.

Everyone's happy.

Till the 3 guys next door kill you

>>217968

I am quite happy with one, having two or more to deal with would be a nightmare.

>>217965

Bruce NEET

>>217966

I don't get it.

>>217973

*Bruce Reeeee

>>217971

The harem is the way of the world.

>>217965

Frederick

>>217974

The Joke is heaps good unna goon dan

>>217972

They'd be bitches to one another and get all their cunt behavior out on each other.

>>217979

Nope, they'd gang up on you.

t. NEET who was married

>>217978

Heh, yeah. I get it.

>>217946

Must be your boong ancestry coming through.

>>217980

Not to multiple women, if you were you just should've married more of them.

>>217980

MuslimNEET?

>>217980

Sounds like communism

>>217983

Maybe, I really got what they were on about when I found out they thought that. I still don't like seeing photos of anyone. I hide most of them.

>>217988

I just don't like seeing photos of boongs.

>>217984

>>217985

Lol, nope.Just the one.

She had 6 sisters though

Fuck that shit

>>217987

I was suspecting him to make a generous donation to the NEETcouncil, but not a single dollar has come through.

>>217990

Fuck all that shit?

>>217990

Get any cheeky side action

*:^)**

>>217991

so zero chance of him paying for our submarine then

>>217992

The 7 of them together turned into a pack of shrieking witch hapies.

All the husbands and bfs would sit round looking embarrassed.

>>217994

>*:^)**

>>217989

Are you the NEET behind all the ban boong propaganda?

>>217996

sounds like an afternoon at cenno with all the single mums

>>217995

Pretty much, although we have had quite a large donation from a party who wishes to remain anonymous.

>>218001

Dan or Craig?

>>218002

Dan and Craig are not political parties.

>>218003

I'd vote for em

>>217981

Why did Dr Pajeet change his name?

>>218004

Given the state of our politics, I would too.

Shit, I've been playing too much rimworld and smoking too much

I just tried to press 3 to fast forward the NEET gen

>>218008

>rimworld

Sounds homosexual.

>>217999

remember be the poorer one so you get more money in the split, also try to have the kids love you more than the wife so in the case of a split the kids stay with you and you get Alimony

>>218009

its what nk calls joondy dans

>>218011

>Welcome to my dumpster

>I call it …. rimworld

>>217999

As most of us will never get past >tfw no gf stage, it hardly matters.

>>218013

He'd earn my vote!

>>218014

>tfw no lube left

>>218014

You're too kind.

>>218012

One reviewer told me it was a pain in the arse.

The sangria is finished and its only 9 oclock.

Oops

>>218020

Drunkboi

>>218018

>After visiting the recommended Joondalup nightclub "Rimworld" I discovered it to be a dumpster behind Dan Murphys

>I thought it might be a clever entrance so I looked closer when I felt a hand on my shoulder and a strange voice whispered "unna" in my ear

>Then it all went blank

>>218020

you should keep a bottle of something as a backup

>>218023

* a cask of something

>>218024

even better

>>218024

Yeah this is what I tell myself but then I just drink it

Typical I guess

>>218022

I am pretty disappointed he hasn't posted many poo pictures recently.

>>218027

Perhaps he is Constipated?

Our generation was cool.

THE ONLY THING I EVER REALLY LOVED WAS

RAPE

sci-fi movie recommendations pls

>>218032

Soy Wars

>>218032

Guardians of the galaxy

>>218032

Sunshine, Interstellar, 12 monkeys, Moon, The Fly, children of men, looper, heaps of others

>>218032

The Lobster

The Zero Theorem

Cloud Atlas

Moon

forgot, Forbidden Planet

>>218031

NK you coon

>>218027

I did a poo at work but forgot to take a photo

Big boong sex

>>218039

did you at least flush?

>>218035

Interstellar is pretty good, the going into the blachole thing at the end is a real trip although I think he actually died, and everything he experienced after going into it was a near death experience

>>218035

>children of men

Not this cucked crap

>>218032

Not a movie and almost Space Fantasy as compared to Sci-Fi but Legend of the Galactic Heroes

>>218043

Children of Men is a realistic portrayal of the future tbqh.

>>218038

You actually replies to Monk

NK is actually subtle about his rape

>>218042

Isn't that the same as 2001?

>>218046

Pretty sure that was Weber.

>>218035

>>218043

>looked up film

>https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206634/

>It's a fucking LISA The Pain rip off without being as cool

I can't handle the anxiety of going into the liquor store anymore. I buy the $6 Strawberry wine and I get that look, you know the one. Why can't wagies leave me in peace? I'm halfway down it right now.

I can’t stand being sober. I just want to do something and it kills me to stay awake sober. Sleeping is the only thing that I can do.

I just hope that my addictions will fade. Probably not going to happen seeing as I always give in

>>218041

No

>>218050

Honestly, just don't give a fuck about the checkout chicks, they obviously don't give a fuck about you, let go and buy your grog in peace.

>>218050

Just go to a different one each time mate

>Strawberry wine

Maybe they just wanna fuck your ass and think you're into it

>>218055

I've had two from that fat cunt, I suspect I will get a third soon.

>>218054

I can't buy alcohol during the day in case Mum.exe sees it. I'm only able to drink when she works or is at other boomer house dinners.

>>218057

Mate just hide it in your car

>>218058

>car

>>218059

get a car you nigger

>>218055

He promised he'd call. He never even bothered to text.

>>218058

Oligarch.

lol

>>218032

Oblivion is underrated imho. Pacific Rim, if you can overlook its fundamental silliness. The first two star trek reboot movies were ok.

>>218057

Just go on a "walk to maccas", carry the wine home in a plastic bag or whatever, leave it somewhere in the front yard or carport, and retrieve it at night. This is a flawless strategy I used for years.

>>218065

he should leave it at my house

>>218066

I meant the movie. But now I'm wondering if the late 20th century was really the golden age of sci fi - they had star wars, aliens, terminator, the matrix…

>>218042

He got raped in that black hole by aboriginals from the future

>>218069

>future dreamtime rape

>>218069

>subtle

Dsp bro dropped me home

>tfw sisters wedding on saturday

>>218073

Do you like her bloke?

>>218073

>Dsp bro dropped me home

What a good lad.

Last few posts made me want to get back into gaming bros.

When I was younger on xbox 360 i trashtalked all the time now i'm too afraid to even talk on mic on xbox one…

>>218074

Yeah he's a good lad. Not a blokey bloke but he's alright.

>>218073

can i come

>>218077

I wish I had an xbone and the master chief collection bro

>>218077

>xbox one

why especially when a car is the same price

>>218080

why, it has no gaymes

>>218076

I hadn't played games in ages until my gf bought her nintendo switch over, gotta say those new mario gaymes are pretty fun.

>>218080

The Xbox game pass is a BIG coping mechanism a bored NEET like me can download a few games to switch between depending on my mood and how drunk I am. I'm getting to the point I'm too drunk to play Dark Souls Remastered which is what I was going to do until midnight-1AM.

>>218083

Monk?

>>218085

Shire.

Poo

>>218083

Odessy is bretty gud if I'm honest, they got the movement system down pat

>>218086

forever childless shire tbh

:^)

>>218087

jew

>>218032

rabbit proof fence

>>218082

I got it for backwards compatibility and the eventual 4K blurays I will watch. It was cheaper than a PS4/Switch and I can't build a PC with new parts at the price range of Xbox One. Perhaps I may build a really cheap low end PC to play Baldur's Gate and watch movies instead of using my uncomfortable laptop keyboard.

I wish I got afford a collection of blue Ray kinos bros.

does shire have a gf

>>218088

Super mario odyssey is rather good.

>>218089

Like I said before, I don't want kids.

>>218092

She has a bunch of games on it, but at the moment we mostly play super mario odyssey and new super mario bros deluxe, she's also into zelda breath of the wild.

Only abos play games

>>218097

Stealing flagons of goon from Dan is no game.

>>218097

Dardy Aboriginal Cuz's BPUltimate

Super aboriginal rape world

I feel like we could make it this year.

>>218101

That's just the goon talking. Go to sleep neet.

Having a browse of wizardchan after all these years

>>218104

I think 4chan has done more damage to my mental than wiz.

We forgot about cheesey lads

>>218106

Cheesey forgot about us.

>>218102

FUCK OFF DOG DATS JUST 91 YOU LYIN DOG

Penis

>>218108

I forgot to suck off the dog

>>218111

Nah I saw him busking outside Dan's last week playing the spoons

>>218109

Nah bruz, head on down to the untied petrol stations they have the 105 octane E85 ethanol blend, fucking see rainbow sperants and shit ay.

Did cheesey ever get his license

>>218106

Because of that neetgen wrecking bitch

>>218111

Can we get a count of how many named NEETs left here?

>>218117

6

>>218118

Names?

>>218076

DSP mates and sisters getting hitched?

>>218120

That comes with the lore of NEETdom.

Divine truth can not be taught, it can only be learnt.

>>218088

I read that as 'Obesity'.

>>218095

Is this bait?

>>218106

Some of you might've.

>>218126

Nighty night.

Anyone itt have depression

Probably.

>>218048

Fuckin' was not. I was at work.

Firewalls upgraded.

Went to the muslim shop for din dins on the way home. They stay open until 11pm.

I can get up in 5.5 hours and do it all again.

damn if only i could cry with someone about how beautiful life is without being asked why im sad

>>218132

Sounds gay

Sleep time soon. Night Night NEETs

Morning all.

>>218135

Morning neets

>>218131

Don't stay up too late wagie. Mr Shekelstein expects you in early this morning, and as you've noted, he's a psycho.

>>218130

Must've been Sperg then.

What did you get at Habib's eatery?

How much of yesterday was overtime or on a penalty?

>>218131

My boss is too, he's proud of it. Add that in with being bipolar.

>>218132

Sounds gay

NEETo now only drinks water or coffee, and says it makes going out much easier. He saves money and doesn't worry about what he will choose to drink. He's dropped 25 kilograms with no extra exercise and is "healthier at 60 than he was at 40". "Life is just so much better without the booze. I'll never go back."

https://www.abc.net.au/life/what-life-looks-like-when-you-stop-or-reduce-your-alcohol-intake/10769912

>>218138

>What did you get at Habib's eatery?

The mixed skewer thing. That's 3 sewkers, one lamb, one chicken and one something else (made from a mince of beef and onions and shit) on a grilled flat bread thing.

>How much of yesterday was overtime or on a penalty?

None. I'm in the office already. I might get a few hours time in lieu or something if Mr Shekelstein feels like it.

>>218142

That is a good story.

Because of the welding Wednesday night, the firewall upgrade last night, and travelling to the coast first thing tomorrow morning, I'll have gone 3 days without booze. FFS.

>>218143

Ah yeah, have you had their weird, half off, yoghurt drink? Some of those places sell it.

>a few hours time in lieu

Cunts mate.

>>218145

Doesn't mum like you drinking when you are down there?

>>218147

I'll have a few beers down there, but I don't like loading up the night before I drive there or home.

>>218146

>weird, half off, yoghurt drink

No I haven't. Not sure I want to either.

Good morning

>>218150

Good morning.

>>218149

Yeah, considering I nearly hit a roo in the fog last Saturday. If the road had been wet I might have actually hit it.

9 MORE HOURS TO GO

Jesus christ NEETs, I've had a heavy week on the piss and a tough time sleeping in this heat. Checking out my face in the mirror this morning and the bags under my eyes are seriously scary. Big purple cunts that almost fold in on themselves, I look really sick. I have a work meeting today, hopefully my glasses kind of mask their depth. Worrying

>>218141

Anti Dan propoganda

>>218142

They always play that same gay royalty free music

>>218156

You need more goon

Glistening aboriginal erection

>>218161

I thought that was how they buried their great heroes

>>218161

it always surprises me how much more advance the aboriginals are then the indians

How did the boongs get to Australia? Did they come straight from africa or did they bounce around the islands up north?

>>218164

They're indonesians that sat in the sun for too long

>>218168

Do you reckon that the C haplogroup was the dominate group in asia till they got pushed out and some went north and some went south?

>>218171

>'Out-of-Africa' theory is put on shaky terms

What is the alternative though? That human migration was more complex and involved early hominds leaving Africa, becoming modern humans and returning?

>>218171

>>218173

>>218170

Fascinating, Whats a Haplogroup?

>tfw extremely depressed

>>218175

Should you see a psych?

>>218174

>A haplogroup is a genetic population group of people who share a common ancestor on the patriline or the matriline. Haplogroups are assigned letters of the alphabet, and refinements consist of additional number and letter combinations.

>>218177

So a haplogroup can only see a single ancestor?

>>217865

this is my current situation. its soulcrushing

>>218050

can relate to this too, alternating is the best op

>>218065

this NEET is wise. have done the night time spec ops goon retrieval many times

22 degrees today in Shitbourne, have to take the dog to get weighed at the vet and then pick up a car from service.

>>218181

Is your dog alright? Just a check up?

About to call cenno. Hold me neets.

havent had breakfast or lunch

practically dying

>>218184

We should have a neet ambulance service for goon and food.

>>218183

good luck m8

>>218186

I'm on hold at the moment. I'm going to go drop a big poo and hope they don't answer while I'm on the shitter.

>>218185

I'm executive. I haven't eaten two consecutive meals or had alcohol for 48 hours. This could well be fatal.

The fucking anxiety while on hold is killing me.

I'm tempted to rub one out but don't want to literally get caught with my pants down.

Tell cenno to get better hold music. It's ruining my wank which I believe is a violation of the Geneva conventions.

>>218182

Getting weighed, last checkup he was underweight, he's been on a high calorie diet since and the vet wants to know his weight

>>218191

How many tendies does he get for dinner?

>go to call someone for a job

>anxiety kicks in

>put it off another week

The ride never ends

I was only on hold for 40 minutes. Cenno is getting better. I'm on hold again as the bloke needs to check something which has me worried.

Can any pro neets fill me in on centrelink, I have gone back on it recently because broke. How long can I bullshit my job provider with fake applications?, will they look into it and fuck me over?. The applications themselves are real, I put them in to jobs I know I wont get but surely they aren't that lazy and will look into them eventually.

>>218195

If you do get an interview just act like a scumbag and tell them your hobbies are gooning and wanking

>>218196

I tried to convince them but they don't share the same opinion sadly

>>218197

Take a goon bag in with you and jizz on their desk.

Still on the phone to cenno. Not looking good lads, this could be the end.

>>218199

cenno phone waits are always shit

>>218200

He sounded confused and said something about my course not being approved with cenno which I find hard to believe as it is a BSc at a Go8 uni. He has gone to talk to a colleague about it.

Phone just cut out on me, fuck.

>>218202

I feel really bad now as they'll think I hung up on them.

>>218203

I was really polite despite the wait so maybe he'll think otherwise.

>>218204

inb4 another hour+ wait to start all over again

>>218205

I'll just go in on Monday. It's not too hot so it should be fine.