/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

Monash

>>220845

Suck my dick, fiery anime girl!

>>220845

jokes on you weeb, I am ending my life. One dart at a time.

>>220837

FarmerNEET will be a valuable asset once we get the NEETcommune up and running.

>>220845

Will you be my Valentine?

>>220837

smokin big doinks in unna

Homo-erotic NEETvalentine engagement.

Where can a farmer buy his seeds?

Fuck valentines day. Fuck it in the arse.

>>220856

can you imagine the crop he could produce on 50 acres for us

>>220861

Hot

>>220856

I'm formally applying as product tester.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sTQ0QdkN3Q

>>220862

It would make us wealthy enough to lobby the government to legalise cannabis.

>>220859

Hot.

>>220860

A farmer plants his seed into the nearest Boong woman

>>220863

Why not?

Has Cheesey really disappeared from his discord?

Is he okay?

how many fellow wizards are here?

>>220856

Cant wait to hear about his police raid at some point.

>>220872

Magic isn't real.

>>220871

did he ever find out why that girl dumped him?

>>220873

Not using an Oxford

Comma is gay.

>>220876

Apart from her being a sixteen year old drama queen?

>>220845

Fuck off nofun, heroin is probably better for you then nip cartoons

>>220876

She was crazy, insane, ect, that's why she dumped him.

>>220874

He's already been raided once

http://www.gippslandtimes.com.au/story/3012289/3m-cannabis-haul-near-briag/

>>220879

No.

>>220874

How much weed do you have to be growing to get the attention of the cops though?

>>220882

>Police arrested a 64-year-old Briagolong man at the scene.

OldNEET?

>>220885

retiredNEET

>>220884

Dunno. Documenting everything online probably isn’t that wise, nor the $10k stuff

>>220887

he is now farmerNEET

>>220888

Last time I went to the doctors, I came in at 181cm

>>220888

Yeah I get the same with IQ, one test is like 136 then the other is like 135-149 or even 149+

>>220888

It is 6 feet and some decimals

>go to take a shit

>turns out i only needed to fart

>albeit the kind of fart for which one needs to sit on the toilet to release in order to keep one's underpants and probably also trousers clean

a net victory.

what did you accomplish today, neets?

>>220891

There’s different systems and a bunch of bullshit online

>>220893

I scored an extra burger from McDonald's.

>>220895

dumpster or legitimate?

>>220894

I figure it's a scam, give you a high score on the free test so you buy the full test from them. Hence we have a bunch of clearly moronic redditors roaming around like they are king nerd.

>>220890

My doctor's height thing measured me at about 15cm less than my actual height. I told him it was fucked and he'd probably fucked up the bmi calculations of all his patients because of it but he chose to just not believe me and imagine I wanted to be taller or something.

I never went back to that doctor but if I had I planned to take a tape measure in to show him how his was fucked.

>>220896

Legitimate. I ordered a double quarter pounder, but they gave me a regular quarter pounder. I call them up and then went back and got my double quarter pounder.

>>220892

Then where is the 5'10 and 5'11?

>>220900

72 inches is 6 feet.

>>220886

Retired from a hard life of being on welfare his entire life.

>>220897

i don't know why they would even bother. the dunning kruger effect is immune to empirical measurement.

>>220898

The dumb dumb probably didn’t note where his measure starts. Some of those wall charts start at one or two feet and expect you to hang them at the right height.

>>220903

true

>>220900

5’10 = (5x12) +10 = 70 inches = 70 x 2.54 cm

>>220906

Dumb dumb. .9 of a foot isn’t the same as 9 inches.

Fucking neets

>>220906

five feet nine inches is not the same as 5.9 feet. You are getting your measures mixed up.

Imperial measurements were a mistake.

I'm 193cm, never had anyone compliment my height and girls certainly dont give a fuck. 182/6ft is probably ideal.

HEY HEY POSSUM

Are NK's poos improving?

>>220910

They're fucking fine. Dipshits assuming everything is base 10 is the problem.

>>220906

182/2.54 = 71.53 = 5'11.53"

183/2.54 = 72.05 = 6'0.05"

>>220911

>tfw 181cm

I'm 5'6 or 5'7 but I can fucking convert units correctly.

Do normalfags in Australia celebrate Valentine's Day or is it yank shit like Halloween?

>>220918

Like just about every public holiday, it's fucking lonely.

>>220918

There were cunts all over the mall today carrying roses. Took me a while to figure it out.

>>220918

it's wank shit is what it is

The fat girl at Subway asked what I was up to today. Clearly desperate for some attention on this particular day.

>>220919

but every day is a public holiday for the neet

>>220906

Forget that retarded burger measurement system, I've got a bunch of imperial sockets and spanners in my toolbox that make absolutely no sense to me, they're all in quarters and halves of inch measurements, I've only used them maybe like two or three times on retarded burgerclap cars like Jeeps and Chryslers.

>>220922

No one ever asks how I am.

>>220918

my uncle used to own a Florist shop, and he used to have to employ an extra 4 or so people just for deliveries for Valentines day

>>220922

you should have raped her

>>220925

Cuz then it would go 5.9, 5.10, 5.11, which doesn't make sense.

>>220922

You should ask her out.

>>220925

12 inches in a foot. Think of the .9 as 90% of a foot. 0.9 x 12inches = 10.8inches

>>220922

She wanted you to be her valentine, a missed opportunity.

>>220925

I think you're trolling, or dumb even by neet standards, but..

>Its 12 inches every foot right?

yes

>And measurements go from 5'0 to 5'11" (when it reaches 5'12" it just rounds back to 6'0),

5'12 is the same as 6'0. Nobody says x'12.

>how the fuck can .9 not be the 9 inches?

You're assuming a foot has 10 inches here.

0.9 x 12 inches = 10.8 inches.

>>220926

ah……. so how u goin?

>>220918

I remember in Year 12 it was a huge deal, they decked out the entire year 12 room in pink and red and had people send cards and pin them onto people's lockers, but made sure everyone got at least one, I got one while others got shitloads.

>>220934

Good thanks

>>220936

Are you that depressed NEET?

>>220930

The cute girl next to her told her what dressing I have on today's particular sub.

>>220937

I'm not depressed, I'm on the spectrum

>>220939

That's good. Have a wank

>>220938

>cute girl

You need to lower your standards to someone more appropriate.

>>220940

Alright

>>220941

But the cute girl knows my very predictable ways.

>>220925

sorry to make you feel bad, but how does it feel to be sub 100iq?

>>220943

The fat girl could have crushed you.

Being a regionalNEET and travelling to the Monash Clayton campus, I feel like a fish out of water. Anyone know this feel?

>>220945

The cute one is small enough I could probably pick her up by the throat and throw her across teh room.

>>220947

Sounds like someone needs to have a wank

>>220948

I'm saving myself for my trip to Canberra. Canberra NEET is buying me McDonalds. He promised.

>>220946

Floppy but brief

>>220949

I've heard that Canberra is very dire place.

>>220949

Just the one store?

>>220953

Just forget about imperial, it's a meme anyways

>>220946

Yeah, campuses and cities are weird places full of gooks

>>220953

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

ALL YOU ARE SEEING IS A COMPUTER GOING 71 / 12 AND RETURNING THE FUCKING DECIMAL NUMBER LIKE A CALCULATOR WOULD. TRY IT ON YOUR PHONE.

>>220949

When will you be here?

>>220946

you qualify for max youth allowance then if your parents arent rich. I got $525/fortnight during university, even managed to save some of it. You can live neet 99% of the time while studying, just cram for exams, it is seriously comfy.

>>220958

>tfw 183

kek

>>220957

Arriving early AM Thursday 14 March, departing Sunday morning.

>>220946

Did ya see the synchrotron?! Does the synchrotron even still exist? I haven't been out there in years.

>>220958

>tfw 178cm

>>220961

I'll keep an eye out.

>>220953

I dont think you understand how a decimal point works because .9 is higher then .11

Normal Council meeting agenda has been suspended tonight. We will instead be having a remedial math lesson.

>>220956

>>220965

BUT WHY IS IT DOING IT IN DECIMALS?

>>220962

i saw the menzies building and went to the campus centre building

>>220967

Burger numerals.

>>220967

Because if you're just doing a conversion to metric or whatever you don't care about feet and inches as separate entities.

>>220959

I got an equity scholarship from Monash valued at $4000, it's not much but it will help. I'm also aiming to get on the DSP.

>>220966

Penis measurements in decimals and fractions.

Inches is a sexually-connoted unit of measurement.

>>220967

Decimals are the superior system

When I am trying to visualise something described as being so many inches long my starting point is always the knowledge that a dick is 6 inches long. So I tend to think of things in terms of how many dicks long they are.

>>220975

Inches is a sexually-connoted unit of measurement.

>>220975

Switch to football ovals at some point or it will take you too long to snipe somebody if you're calculating how many dick lengths they are away.

>>220977

Or he can get a bigger dick

>>220977

Swimming pools of semen.

What's your BMI? Mine is 26.6

https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/your-heart/know-your-risks/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator

I have been home for some time but fell in to a depraved (You)coma.

>>220981

have a wank

I am still catching up but there are many posts.

>>220713

They look very nice, you stressed for no reason.

>>220980

46.1

>>220980

23

>>220982

I am having a binge.

>>220983

Maybe don't do a catch up. He has been very rude to you.

>>220983

I cut off half the post.

Did you shuck them fast or slow?

>>220986

alright, but have a wank

>>220984

You would be dead.

>>220980

49

>>220987

Has he just? I have only gone through a couple posts so far.

>>220990

It's accurate. Plug in 5'6 and 286 lbs.

>>220720

Oh my. OH MY.

What a heavenly amount of (You)'s.

OH MY

Dan should be banned, fuck him.

You should chastise him in front of his peers.

I am in the mood for a good ol' shuckin'.

My walls have a big crack in them too. I think the foundation is broken.

>>220722

I must've been good.

This is as far as I have caught up. I am already naked and eating a hamburger and been here for about half an hour.

This is a lot of (You)'s.

>>220728

This is almost too much. I don't think I can handle this (You) onslaught.

Things were that bad.

They do deserve my scorn, you are right. But I can't stay mad at the friendly little NEETies.

I am a drama queen. Was it really only one or two other NEETs?

I did not take a picture because my master plan failed and I was filled with shame

I now understand.

>Very erotic.

I know how to please my constituency.

>mutiny

Absolute chaos.

>>220994

>t. Craig

>>220996

>(you) overdose

>>220987

>He has been very rude to you.

I was not.

>>221000

>>221000

Well done.

>>221001

Thanks

>>220999

We will see. I am having a hard time getting through all these (You)'s. I think I have just found my limit.

>>221002

You stealing black cunt.

>>221003

Maybe you and decimalNEET could teach each other reading and numbers.

Just had a fantastic wank.

Me? More of a rational man myself

>>221006

Just had a fantastic binge.

>>220730

>sunscreen

Then there is no need for the soothing lotion.

>escapist fantasies

The city rots your soul.

I spent half an hour on the phone today with an OT who works up north and how she operates.

I called her to see if she could see a participant who lives out of the city.

She said she couldn't and then recommended me a bunch of OT's that might be able to.

We proceeded to have a long discussion about how the support providers in the city will just say yes, sign people up to their service, then make them wait months to get assessed because they are over booked.

She is an awesome lady. Pretty hot too.

>drama queen.

Well I never.

>piss off you autistic clown

bit rude, what if it was truly stressful for him?

>>221005

literacy and numeracy*

>>220731

Thank you for pointing that out.

>>220732

HAH!!!

>>221009

What participants and what support providers?

>>220733

>What a beautiful banner.

Thank you, it could've been better but the basic idea was good.

>>221013

>>221008

How did you handle the mess? Mine took three tissues.

>>221016

I ejaculate onto the inside of my t-shirt

>>221017

It shot far and hit my shirt.

>>220983

>you stressed for no reason

No I had good reason and still do. I will end up getting some cobs but the plants didn't grow to their full height and I only got one or maximum two cobs on each plant, and many of them are undersized.

>>221018

The trick is to wank so much that it just seeps out

>>220988

I shucked fast and then slow and then fast again.

>>220992

Do not believe his lies.

>>220995

You are always good.

>>221019

plant earlier, improve the soil and plenty of water

>>220996

>Was it really only one or two other NEETs?

Just Monaro really and one or two others who chimed in occasionally to cause trouble. But it was really mostly a massive Monaro spergout.

>>221003

Your tolerance lowered because you had been starved while I was gone. They are all so niggardly with (you)s. They don't even bother to praise OC and banners. They are wicked and evil people.

>>221009

>bit rude, what if it was truly stressful for him?

He tried to start a board split over nothing. I have no sympathy for him.

>>221027

Dan's liquids are the only thing that can bring those cunts back to life.

>>221022

You're probably going back and editing your posts as we speak (post).

>>221027

kek, whats wrong with those women in that first photo

>>221031

temperance movement lezzos

>>221031

I dont know

>>220737

>actual peas and they sprout

Yeah, that's already started. I need to go and water it in a minute. I'll take a couple pics. The capsicums have grown and the lettuce is bigger.

>It is going to take me ages.

Penance for leaving us.

>Excellent banner mate.

Isn't it aye, that NEET really out did himself. I was very impressed.

>>221031

Sobriety Sydrome.

>>220740

>LOL

Yeah. Some things really can't be helped.

>He just keeps going.

The brainlet NEETs are a fragile, vulnerable breed. They can't help it.

>>221028

yeah he didnt think, thought, still thinks he knows whats best for people when he actually has no idea

>>221027

Absolutely correct on all fronts. Dan rots our society.

>>220741

>Very well ordered

Calms my tism.

>>221027

Worrying anti-Dan propaganda.

>>220742

wew

>>221031

That is what a proper woman looks like.

>>220744

>I will not.

I.. I was lonely.

>#MeToo'ed

Maybe. There have been multiple instances of being on the line between naive flirting and down right obvious.

>>221030

Edited posts get a little thingy at the bottom saying they were edited and when.

>>221044

Not when Juden Law does it.

>>221043

>flirting and down right obvious

Why do you do it?

>>220745

>"junior pie"

I have never heard of these.

>embittered.

Sweeten up sugarplum

>There is no hope for them.

You don't really mean that.

I need to have a break.

This is too much. I am puffed out from the (You)'s.

Gin and tonic.

>>221045

That is false. Stop spreading Jewish lies.

>>221050

The jew cries out in pain as he strikes you.

>>221048

>>"junior pie"

>I have never heard of these.

At my school they were called "little pies" (as opposed to "big pies").

>>221054

Yeah Mummybot would get me a big pie and a little pie when I had a lunch order sometimes. That's them.

Do petrol stations sell cigars? Need to know

>>221056

Some might. Wouldn't bet my life on it though.

>>221056

one of the local ones used to sell the small ones

Too bad she can't keep time.

Possum is back.

>>220913

I haven't been clicking on them and don't plan to ever again.

>>221060

That is cultural appropriation.

Possum is black.

>>221061

>ever again

Thank you.

>>221063

Only his heart.

>>221059

Banjos kind sound like those asian guitar/violin things

>>221063

Possum is Jack Black

>>221067

We wish.

>>221066

When she was adjusting the tuning while the string was reverberating, sure.

>>221068

That's kind.

No tamborine girl to crush my head between her thighs.

>>221072

thicc

>>221073

like decimalNEET

Throwing Possum a welcome home party even though he hates us.

Got a call back from a real estate company today, going to look at a few apartments next week with them. Most of them are around $200 and seem pretty good

>>221075

Thinn

>>221078

Good on you mate. Next you need to get yourself a gf.

>>221078

How much is the bond?

>>221081

$0.07

>>221082

HEH

>>221081

Around 780-800, I'd still have plenty of money left over to replace the astra even after I buy a new fridge/bed/washing machine/cumdies.

>>221082

>>221077

I have always liked this Bond theme.

>>221084

I hope you keep those pillows. A lot of history exists in them.

>>221087

Jayne Seymour was nice back then too.

>>221087

All the nogs from that film are dead now.

>>221087

One of the few Bond movies where 007 owns a negress.

>>221091

You're not mixing it up with the Grace Jones one? A View to a Kill I think.

>>221093

oh no, Gloria Hendry was in LALD.

>>221093

Bond has actually owned multiple negresses.

>>221095

and that weird Gook/Latino/Nigger-lookin one he blows up.

>>221084

Are you going hold it in for days to christen the shitter?

>>221095

There's that one called Thumper (she's the sidekick of Bambi) in Diamonds are forever, Grace Jones in A View to a Kill has already been mentioned, as has the one in Live and Let Die. In the 21st century he got Halle Berry and that dumb british negress.

>>221096

Bond appreciates women of all ethnicities, he is a melting pot of friendship and happiness.

>>221098

>In the 21st century he got Halle Berry and that dumb british negress.

These ones didn't happen. Flemming certainly didn't write them.

>>221099

He's actually a racist homophobe in the books.

>>221101

All good characters need flaws.

>>221102

It wasn't a flaw, he was just a man's man.

I don't tie a Windsor knot because Bond mistrusted people who wore them. The four-in-hand is good enough.

>>221105

Misogyny

>>221107

kek

>>220761

>You should have danced.

Were you that old coot?

>>220764

>a little dent in it

Do you use it? You should.

>I would never think less of you.

I don't know if I can believe that.

>Salt malnutrition

.

>Very impressive.

It's coming along.

>>220770

>You pronounce commune wrong.

You pronounce commune wrong.

>>220771

Bueno. You did very well.

>>221110

I haven't used the Weber in over a year. It is just too much hassle. Plus you have to cook outside so all the neighbours know what you are doing.

>>221109

>Were you that old coot?

In spirit.

>>220775

>Russell Crowe

I watched that a while ago. It was better than this one.

>

You didn't tell me.

>how aggressive

Not that much, it just detailed why I had no time. I let him work out why I was doing everything.

>Concerning developments.

I am doing my job well and I think the ceo knows that, the other manager likes that the girls kiss his arse so he can have that and I will just avoid him and them when I can. I am still nice and courteous to them all. but fuck em.

>>221111

You have to say it like communism.

>>220783

>I care. I value you.

You are a niceNEET

>It is more like 10.

You need to stay away from the mod page.

>I am glad things are getting seen to mate

I will call them tomorrow if they don't send me the confirmation that they have paid the crash repairer.

>They have no gratitude.

They don't understand what you have done for them.

>>220784

It is, you all should've gave him more (You)'s.

>>220785

>Worrying.

It is.

>>220786

Please remain civil.

>>220787

>>no wicked wings

I know.. I know.

>you think I am gone?

They will understand his divine humour. You are biased because it was something you liked.

>concerning talk

No, I felt like that was in good taste.

>>220793

It is but if we don't other NEETs wont.

All NEETs have a duty to participate in comfy catch up.

>>220833

I often feel it before I realise it. He brings with him a shit vibe.

That was an exhausting catch up.

Now just another 270 posts.

I am going to bed.

>>221119

Don't over do it.

>>221120

Goodnight.

>>221120

I hope you dream of Dan and all his flavoured Goon

>>221110

>I don't know if I can believe that.

It probably wasn't true but it felt like the right thing to say. I do try not to be judgemental. I try.

>>221118

>Please remain civil

What the fuck did you just say to me?

>>221122

Flavoured goon is for girls.

>>220966

I have no idea what is going on in those maths pics other NEET is posting.

>>220980

22.1

>>221127

Healthy.

>>221013

Autism and OT

>>221019

They were fine, they looked very nice.

>>221021

You work in the opposite way i do.

There's always more to discover

>>221023

You are.

>>221025

We have come to an arrangement. He is a good lad

>>221026

I have had more (You)'s today than ever before.

I don't like that they don't praise OC.

>>221027

Very nice, Dan is a bad man.

I had two great revelations today:

1. Minute steak + tin tomato + mozzarella cheeze = almost parmigiana

2. The dish scrubbing brush has a scraper on the other side of it

>>221028

He's alright, he did it because he wanted to save the board. His intentions were pure even though his actions were monaro

>>221046

Same reason anyone does.

>>221129

I'm on the spectrum, I was diagnosed at age 7.

>>221131

I hope that won't be a problem when we work together.

>>221113

Do you worry they will be envious?

>>221116

How do I say it?

>>221120

Good night.

>>221135

This masterpiece >>216697 only got one (you). They are horrible people and they will not reform.

>>221143

You say it like communion.

>>221141

I like syncopated rhythms.

>>221146

That's the same.

Unless I'm saying communism wrong?

??

>>221137

Take the extra two mins to egg wash and crumb it and you’ll have the real deal.

Alternatively a light dusting of flour and some Pinot Grigio in the pan and you have scalopini

>>221142

I worry they will know I am an unemployed NEET cooking himself $40 joints of meat in the middle of a workday.

>>221145

That was a masterpiece.

Which NEET made it?

>>221150

NEETlyfe.

Be proud.

>>221122

Palindrome

>>221149

This is good advice.

>>221147

Negro sex music underpinnings

>>221148

Someone else will have to try and explain it to you.

Just saw a MAX ad on TV

>>221149

Very fancy.

>>221151

I think it was Monaro.

>>221159

Repentance.

He is a good NEET.

>>221152

You know the shame bites deep.

>>221160

HE was probably making it for his split board.

>tfw your 1st valentines day in years with a partner was completely uneventful

>>221162

That reminds me, is the Jew posting ban still in effect?

>>221163

What did you gift her?

>>221164

No.

>>221149

>egg wash and crumb it

Makes a lot of mess.

>>221161

Be proud.

>>221163

So ronery

>>221165

Got her some flowers delivered this morning, but tbh it's not her fault, she's done in her lower back or something, sciatica I think the Dr said, it was a hell of a day yesterday though, I had to call an ambo for her when I got home from work.

>>221166

Good. I don't really want to, I just don't like censorship.

>>221171

A community is better with rules and standards. With no censorship at all everything becomes /b/.

>>221167

How are you going to get to Flavour Town if you don’t make a mess occasionally?

>>221171

You're not allowed to say that.

>>221170

>I had to call an ambo for her

Crikey.

>>221097

I'm gonna eat a whole tub of metamucil

>>221176

That will have the opposite effect

>>221172

Agree to disagree.

>>221173

The NEET way is to bypass flavour town and just go straight to crude fat sugar and salt convenience town.

>>221178

I don't agree to that.

>>221175

She was in a huge amount of pain and couldn't move, I tried to carry her out to the car to take her to hospital but it was too painful, anyway the paramedics came, they then sent over some other specialist paramedic who can prescribe can give pain killers so she didn't have to go to hospital.

>>221181

Has this happened to her before?

>>221180

Fuck you.

How do you become a confident, charismatic fat man instead of a shamed one?

>>221184

When you find out let me know

>>221184

The clothes maketh the man.

>>221182

1st time, it's got something to do with the lower back muscles and discs pressing on the sciatic nerve which causes all kinds of problems, but it eventually sorts it's self out apparently.

>>221181

So she has shagger’s back?

Feeling like I have just enough left in the tank to go to the gym tonight, then it's off to sleep, got an interview tomorrow so should rest up. Night Night NEETs.

>>221187

That just makes you a cringe fatty in a fedora.

>>221189

Maybe, I feel bad if that's the case.

>>221191

He means a wife beater, footy shorts and thongs

>>221193

Traditional NEET attire

>>221193

+meat pie

Had 2 (two) regular cigars.

having a coopers green top bros

>>221196

weber?

Ate way too much pizza and now I'm physically uncomfortable

How do you execs do it

>>221199 (fucking nice digits)

It is impossible to not eat an entire pizza. You need a small one.

>>221199

Execs have extra stomach chambers, kind of like cows.

>>221197

I'm on the blues

>>221200

For real. I've just had a tallboy and I'm sitting here almost in a coma

>>221203

have a wank

>>221204

>>221203

better yet, have a rape

>>221199

The stomach stretches over time and the mind becomes more and more addicted to the fat and sugar and craves it.

>>221206

I've noticed that when I've been on antidepressants I've gained weight

>>221207

for me it was anti-psychotics, I gained a noticeable amount

>>221208

Which ones? I'm on those

>>221208

That is very common for people on anti-psychotics.

I am up late watching wrestling videos on YouTube.

>>221208

>>221209

>>221210

Particularly seroquel, it causes lots of weight gain

>>221209

Olanzapine

>>221210

I stopped taking all my meds around August cold turkey. lost all the weight which is a bad thing for me, I typically don't eat much. This year I started doing basic exercise and I'm eating more, slowly gaining it back.

>>221214

I wish I could lose weight

>>221216

Just stop eating

>>221216

I'd recommend:

>100 push-ups

>100 sit-ups

>100 squats

>and a 10km run

everyday

>>221218

But he might go bald

Been watching heaps of mega mansion tour videos on youtube lately

I wish I was rich