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File: 0f6e43213cc6b08⋯.jpg (65.22 KB,1200x630,40:21,c6a452c69db3a8e6a65a60e45e….jpg)

 No.183574 [Last50 Posts]

OLD >>182814

Broom Broom

Baaa ROOOM

scREEEEEEEchhhh

BANGo - CRASHHH

ting ting ting

WEE WAW WEE WAW

____________________________
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 No.183575

File: 85cf5273370186f⋯.png (28.34 KB,380x428,95:107,380px-Flag-map_of_South_Au….png)

SOUTH AUSSIE

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 No.183582

>>183575

*respek knuckles*

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 No.183586

>>183575

heaps good aye

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 No.183587

RINGWOOD

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 No.183590

Cervantes

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 No.183591

File: d1ee31ce510c325⋯.jpeg (115.92 KB,433x613,433:613,1503901554001.jpeg)

We're all gonna make it this year neets

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 No.183592

>>183584

Does anyone call that Sesame Street?

My dad said that was what he and the other truckies used to call it because muppets would jump out at you.

This was in the 80's so it might've just been the drugs when truckies werent harassed as much.

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 No.183593

>>183592

Probably only truckie lingo tbh

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 No.183594

I am going to stop using deodorant unless I am going out. It has been my routine for YEARS to use deodorant under my arms after my daily shower, but I am sick of coating myself in chemicals for no reason. If it is just me staying home on my own (which it is 95% of the time) I don't care if I smell.

Deodorant is going into the "special occasions" category from now on.

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 No.183595

>>183593

What do truckies call abo girls they pick up for sex?

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 No.183596

>>183594

That's the way I use it now too.

>>183595

Free

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 No.183597

Feel so bad after that stirfry

Cant wait to spray it all over the toilet bowl

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 No.183598

Are all Australian women actually twinks?

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 No.183599

>>183595

If I drove a truck, I'd run down any boongs I saw on the side of the road.

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 No.183600

Forty Twinks

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 No.183601

>>183595

They tell em someone would've run em over if they didn't pick them up

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 No.183602

Truck driving would be a good way to rape, town to town, victim to victim.

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 No.183603

>>183600

I actually wasn't joking. I hope Kim nukes Australia. I can't imagine why he'd nuke Australia, since they don't have an army, but I hope he does anyway, because fuck Australia!

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 No.183604

>>183603

have a wank

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 No.183605

>>183604

I'll always have you.

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 No.183606

>>183603

For example, maybe for testing purposes.

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 No.183607

Warehouse Monk what have you got on your agenda over the next week or so? If you are just sitting around the warehouse all day boredom might drive you back to your vices.

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 No.183608

Are there any cola drinks you can get from the supermarket that don't contain caffeine?

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 No.183609

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 No.183610

>>183562

170, fastest I've been caught at is 134, the 4 is particular to note as if it was 135 I'd have a suspended licence

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 No.183611

>>183608

coke sells one

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 No.183612

>>183608

Caffeine is the only good part of cola though

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 No.183613

>>183610

You are a disgrace. Cars aren't toys.

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 No.183614

>>183608

think gold label doesn't or has reduced caffeine

just get a cordial and mix with soda water otherwise

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 No.183615

>>183614

>>183611

I will look into it. Thanks boys. Going to Woolworths in about 20 minutes.

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 No.183617

That is two threads in a row now where we have not been able to link the new thread in the old one. We need to lift our game NEETs.

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 No.183620

>>183613

I didn't do it for fun, if I wanted fun I'd avoid the highway

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 No.183621

>>183617

it's been 3 or 4 now

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 No.183622

>>183621

cite evidence. that sounds wrong to me.

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 No.183623

>>183608

Pepsi Light

Getting a chicken from Coles tonight.

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 No.183624

>>183622

NEET 191 doesn't link NEET 192

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 No.183625

File: 9f17c967c18beef⋯.jpg (8.54 KB,250x236,125:118,1472158180282.jpg)

I was expecting my bux to be paid into my account five minutes ago. It is not there. I have no money. I wanted to go shopping.

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 No.183626

to that neet who was reading a book in 191 it seems like you are right, the fedora was the killer after all

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 No.183627

>>183625

How do you know the time of the bux payment?

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 No.183628

>>183625

Cancel that, the bux are in. I'm going shopping.

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 No.183629

>>183617

This thread was linked >>183578

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 No.183630

Just did a poo. First one since I was sick, it was huge.

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 No.183631

>>183630

was it for poojeeta

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 No.183632

>>183623

Pajeet pre-fucks those chickens

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 No.183633

>>183630

I snapped off a massive yule log last week after feasting on turkey, ham and chocolates. It was at least 2 inches in diameter and about 7 inches long and protruded above the water line in the toilet after it impacted the bottom of the bowl.

Had a lot of trouble flushing it down.

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 No.183636

Time to get back into the night before a work day routine

It's been real fun living the neetlife with youse cunts for a few weeks. Just like old times.

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 No.183637

>>183633

Should have taken a photo

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 No.183638

>>183602

Most truck drivers can't even find their penis beneath their pie infused belly, let alone us it on unsuspecting wildlife

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 No.183640

>>183638

Sounds a lot like the NEETlife, perhaps truck driving might be something a NEET could be suited to.

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 No.183641

>>183640

Can't drink goon when you're driving 15 hours a day

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 No.183642

>>183641

But you can gorge on tendies all day and then drink youself to death after each shift.

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 No.183643

True truckNEETs survive on a diet of goon water and No-Doz

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 No.183644

>>183642

I'll settle for getting drunk and playing euro truck sim.

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 No.183645

>>183633

Mine was really thin but it was about three foot long. It floated and there must've been three layers of it.

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 No.183646

>>183643

truck drivers are not neets you brainlet

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 No.183647

>>183646

What if they do it for fun?

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 No.183648

I am back from my shopping trip. I didn't buy anything unhealthy. Healthy 2018 is still a go. We're all going to make it.

>>183627

I know what time my bux will arrive in my account because the bank does it automatically and it is always the same time.

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 No.183649

>>183629

Oh so it was. I missed it.

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 No.183651

File: 72cdb0015494bfa⋯.jpg (1.83 MB,2592x1936,162:121,Dans House of Goon.jpg)

File: fb334611191eb1c⋯.jpg (2.06 MB,2592x1936,162:121,Empty Zooper Upon A Used G….jpg)

Honey I'm home! Forgot the lotto ticket though, now get me tendies bitch

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 No.183652

File: 004032926865130⋯.jpg (199.16 KB,600x687,200:229,stopdrinking.jpg)

>>183651

>>183648

Good on you NEET. I bought myself a chicken, brocolli, carrots and peas. Got some chamomile tea to drink tonight for sleep so Dan begone.

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 No.183654

>>183633

How very descriptive of you. Very glad you didn't take pics

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 No.183655

>>183652

I have a problem

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 No.183657

>>183655

Have you tried not having a problem?

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 No.183658

>>183651

That's a dodgy looking dans

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 No.183659

File: d6918b3b28cded3⋯.gif (597.87 KB,264x264,1:1,stopcube.gif)

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 No.183660

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

C'MON JUMP IN MY CAR

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 No.183661

ded threeadd

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 No.183662

>>183661

yeah, what's going on?

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 No.183663

>>183661

>>183662

I don't know either, I'm here but just tfw depressed so not really posting

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 No.183664

>tfw quite depressed

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 No.183665

>tfw undressed

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 No.183666

Trips and gf2018 works out for all neets

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 No.183667

i'm on the lambs, or at least one

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 No.183668

>>183666

checked satan but gf2018 won't work out for me, dunno how it can

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 No.183669

>>183666

thanks

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 No.183670

Hey cumguzzlers

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 No.183671

>>183667

you're a sacrificial lamb

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 No.183672

>>183671

i'm the lamb of god tbh

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 No.183673

>>183670

hey scumkuzzler

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 No.183674

>tfw loser

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 No.183675

>tfw winner

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 No.183676

>tfw dinner

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 No.183677

>tfw sinner

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 No.183678

>tfw sinner

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 No.183679

>>183677

arsehole

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 No.183680

>>183679

>tfw 2 sec cucker

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 No.183681

Going back in my diet, ate a whole box of favourites at 4am last night when I was stoned

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 No.183682

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>183660

yeah nah

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 No.183683

>>183681

it's okay to have a treat every now and then, you just need to remember to burn the calories off by having a wank

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 No.183684

Just microwaved 4 sargents chicken pies. Had to use my biggest plate.

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 No.183685

Didn't win Oz Lotto.

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 No.183686

I'm still confused on how people get fat

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 No.183687

>>183685

thanks for the taxbux mate

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 No.183688

>>183686

Then you are fucking dumb m8 no offence.

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 No.183689

>>183686

they get put on antidepressants

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 No.183690

>>183689

I got put on antidepressants because being a fat kid made me want to kill myself, so sometimes it works the other way around

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 No.183691

>>183688

I know I'm dumb, but I ate as much food as I want and don't move unless I want to, and don't gain weight

Do fat people have runny poos like me

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 No.183692

>>183691

some people want to eat more food than you do, obviously

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 No.183693

>>183692

Well does this mean that this is the only single way I am genetically superior

>With RapeNEETs Genitallia, WarehouseNEETs chadness, thisNEETs Brains and MeNEETs unabllity to get fat, comes the theoretically impossibillity that is the ubermenchNEET

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 No.183694

>>183693

those neets aren't fat either

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 No.183695

>>183694

so you're not fat

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 No.183696

>>183695

I'm the fattest of all neets, one day I shall eat all you puny twigneets and the neet general shall be mine

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 No.183697

>>183696

so that proves your own statement incorrect as you are the genius that is thisNEET

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 No.183698

>>183697

I'm not thisneet, I am thatneet

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 No.183699

>>183698

well maybe I being the 106 iq brainlet I am meant thatNEET this whole time

dubs

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 No.183700

>>183693

>RapeNEETs Genitallia

What is so special about that?

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 No.183701

>>183700

they have the abillity to slide into anything

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 No.183702

>>183700

it's jewed, which gives it special powers

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 No.183703

>>183682

fuuaarrkk

everything about this vid is pain

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 No.183704

>>183702

>see when I was 5 the local Joondalup Rabbi tried to molest me, but I managed to stop him before hand and he then cursed me with his jew powers as revenge, but being me I turned that curse into my own power

>I am RapeNEET

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 No.183705

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 No.183706

>>183701

That's just because they're so small.

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 No.183707

>>183706

there is no pussy too big or too small for RapeNEET to rape

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 No.183708

>>183707

Fagneet would be too big for him

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 No.183709

>>183708

RapeNEET isn't gay

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 No.183710

>>183703

reminder to change your oil and spark plugs

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 No.183711

>>183709

it's only gay if you're on the receiving end

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 No.183712

>>183709

He's an equal opportunity rapist

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 No.183713

>>183711

Hey Roman

>>183712

So that's why Poojeeta left warehouse

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 No.183714

>>183713

The clean feet were just too hard to resist

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 No.183715

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 No.183716

File: e5f127b8640cc1a⋯.jpg (97.48 KB,600x600,1:1,I'm going to eat.jpg)

File: 42c1dfe0a3923f3⋯.jpg (30.24 KB,563x375,563:375,the whole fucking thing.jpg)

Cooked lamb loin chops, veg, mash and gravy.

Now for the grand finale.

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 No.183717

>>183716

fatneet

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 No.183719

>>183717

bigboy2018 wont win itself

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 No.183720

>>183716

I've got some pudding for your sticky date

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 No.183721

>>183720

My sticky is date is absolutely delectable.

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 No.183722

too many is's

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 No.183723

>>183721

Time to have a wank then

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 No.183724

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 No.183725

Ok I'm at that happy level of mild drunkness, it's just sad it lasts for so little, and it's already gone, fuck

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 No.183726

>>183725

have a wank

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 No.183727

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 No.183728

>>183724

Praisise Allah.

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 No.183729

>>183727

Smoke another cone.

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 No.183730

File: c6057ee04dae38e⋯.jpeg (40.64 KB,314x469,314:469,images (44).jpeg)

By my hand you will rise from the ashes of skeledom and ride to the gates of full figured neets!

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 No.183731

>tfw smoked all my weed on New year's

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 No.183732

>>183731

You are better off without that nasty stuff.

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 No.183733

>>183729

i'm too much of a social outcast to have comes

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 No.183734

>>183733

Them who do you laugh?

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 No.183735

>>183734

I'm ausisisc

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 No.183736

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 No.183738

i feel like i'm having a heart attack, this sticky date is so good but the double cream is like eating butter

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 No.183739

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 No.183740

File: 3c05ab9fd4c5c19⋯.png (44.41 KB,657x527,657:527,1463555449456.png)

Do you cunts ever think she won't be roight?

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 No.183741

>>183738

I've got a double serve of buttery cream for your heart. Open wide

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 No.183742

>>183738

Dying of a heart attack rules you out of biggest boy 2018. Foolish normal sized neets need to pace themselves to reach higher levels, it took us bigneets years of hard work to get to where we are today.

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 No.183743

>>183740

Feels like she is always left these days moite

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 No.183744

>>183739

i just had some face shudder thing happen, thid cant be good

>>183741

i'm in no position to argue

>>183742

i dont think i'm cut out to be bigboyu 2018 i cant see propery

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 No.183745

>>183744

Say hello to peep for us

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 No.183746

>>183744

>i just had some face shudder thing happen

have a wank

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 No.183747

>>183746

If he uses his left hand it will be like a stranger is doing it

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 No.183748

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 No.183749

what should i wank to

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 No.183750

>>183749

Abo women.

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 No.183751

>>183749

the shuddering sensations

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 No.183753

I'm going to go lay down for nbit

2018 bigboychaklllenge is is a whole sara lee stickky date and a whole punnet of double cream.

fuck i cant breath didnt even get half way

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 No.183754

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 No.183755

File: 79e3e7d028d0cd9⋯.jpeg (33.11 KB,384x384,1:1,images (47).jpeg)

File: d6885e5b02295fa⋯.jpeg (8.21 KB,319x460,319:460,images (46).jpeg)

File: 513f5c815f1f995⋯.jpeg (49.22 KB,352x418,16:19,images (45).jpeg)

Executive sized neets gonna look good for summer

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 No.183756

>>183755

That guy isn't even fat.

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 No.183757

>>183754

this seems like the best option

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 No.183758

>>183413

Yeah I kinda thought that, I highly doubt this girl is keen on me though. She's in a committed relationship with some dude, they're in photos together and endlessly tag each other in memes and inside joke shit on facebook.

She's only 25ish and Turkish, also friends with everyone at work and she seems like she's a bit gossipy tbh, I'd fuck her if I got a chance to though

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 No.183759

>>183758

>and Turkish

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 No.183760

File: 465670a97b2f89a⋯.jpg (85.56 KB,1080x1080,1:1,13269397_1720540888162935_….jpg)

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 No.183761

>>183760

she doesn't seem turkish

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 No.183762

File: f1b5fdbe9aa2e5c⋯.jpg (156.82 KB,1080x1349,1080:1349,13355678_1642091886116642_….jpg)

>>183761

D-did I post something relevant to the conversation?

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 No.183763

>>183762

I thought you were the cunt who has a turkish grl wanting him

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 No.183764

>>183738

Only the strong and the ambitious succeed in this life - find a late night supermarket and get another one.

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 No.183765

fuck it i'm going to start a tindr sock right now as somone larping as a chad

wish me luck

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 No.183766

File: f3b6371c8149411⋯.jpg (299 KB,1080x1350,4:5,21879788_329433134187327_8….jpg)

>>183763

I'm the cunt that masturbates to a Turkish girl.

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 No.183767

File: 1a3408ba567d959⋯.jpg (57.52 KB,700x706,350:353,a5bpryN_700b.jpg)

>>183755

>8XL

tfw when 2XL manlet

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 No.183768

File: 48d3adb311d0993⋯.jpg (53.4 KB,640x904,80:113,kiira_korpi.jpg)

>>183766

if you're gonna fap to a non-white, at least try fingol girls

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 No.183769

File: b36d6e8aff9be7c⋯.jpg (941.05 KB,1951x3000,1951:3000,3XZAKEa.jpg)

>>183768

>non-white

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 No.183770

>>183765

As in catfish?

I don't recommend it, it takes fucking ages and hardwork to get anywhere with it. You also might get depressed about how many matches you get with a good looking chads pics

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 No.183771

I am off to bed my fat little neets.

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 No.183772

>>183770

So get 7/10 semi chads insterad

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 No.183773

Back On The Goon

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 No.183774

>>183771

we're little fat neets, get it right

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 No.183775

>>183774

Sorry, I'm artistic.

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 No.183776

>>183774

little fat chode neets

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 No.183777

>>183767

as a 179 I find this pic very humorous

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 No.183778

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 No.183779

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 No.183780

That sticky date pud has fucked me, I'm getting cold chills down the back of my neck. It was too much for just a bigboy in training. It was like eating molten sugar doused in oil.

I'm going to bed. Good night friends.

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 No.183781

>>183780

goodnight, don't forget to have a wank

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 No.183782

lamb number 3

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 No.183783

>>183780

i hope you drunk a litre of spring water m8 or your kidneys are gonna be petrified in the morning

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 No.183784

>>183781

smoke a cone

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 No.183785

File: d9219c552b56c55⋯.jpg (42.38 KB,446x658,223:329,301.jpg)

>>183779

She should hold it in jerusalem to celebrate it becoming the capital of israel. The butthurt would be epic.

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 No.183786

>>183785

>posting the blind girl from shoujo

You shizune from 4am a long time ago?

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 No.183787

I worked a 10 hour shift today with only minimul chaffing

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 No.183788

File: 3806d5a4bb46387⋯.jpg (274.27 KB,1500x1000,3:2,3806d5a4bb4638755ead007a0a….jpg)

>>183780

You're gonna need to fight through that pain if you're gonna bulk up to be executive sized.

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 No.183789

>>183787

give us another balls and arse shot

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 No.183790

I changed a flat to the spare tire on my car now I am too scared to go to the wheel shop in case they laugh at me. idk wtf is wrong with me its been 2 weeks.

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 No.183791

>>183790

Why do you need to go the wheel shop if you have already replaced the wheel with a spare?

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 No.183792

>>183791

I got no spare now, I gotta get the tire fixed.

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 No.183793

File: 0df07508b7c61ab⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,2.22 MB,3264x2448,4:3,0df07508b7c61ab0422f8df4a3….jpg)

>>183787

Does it look as bad as last time?

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 No.183794

>>183792

I had no spare for 4 month once, I was fine

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 No.183795

>>183793

what is this

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 No.183796

File: fad0a3a0c019526⋯.jpg (23.6 KB,424x432,53:54,1384175102190.jpg)

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 No.183797

>>183786

I didn't even know where it was from, it was just lying around with the rest of the merchants, and I wanted a girl merchant. I doubt the pics I post are relevant more than 5% of the time anyway

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 No.183798

>>183686

Try eating take out every day of the week for a few months without exercising and you'll see for yourself

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 No.183799

>>183797

you a kiwi cunt

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 No.183800

>>183798

how much do you eat

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 No.183801

>>183793

That's someone else

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 No.183802

>>183793

When I become fuhrer we're gonna send all the fag neets to death camps a gay friendly neet containment thread.

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 No.183803

>>183800

Till you're comfortably full each time

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 No.183804

>>183803

how much is that

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 No.183805

>>183782

Glad I'm not the only one still drinking, the rest are delusional if they think they can do 2018 sober

>>183790

Why would they laugh at you? What happened to the tyre exactly?

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 No.183806

>>183805

don't worry they'll be on the piss on friday

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 No.183807

>>183796

>those lips

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 No.183808

Holy shit my fucking roomates are luck I don't have work or holy shit i'd go nuclear

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 No.183809

>>183808

Please try that again, this time in English

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 No.183810

>>183805

I poured $40 of scotch down the drain at lunch time, haven't had a drink for 12 hours now. We're gonna make it!

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 No.183811

>>183808

Please try that again, but this time have a wank

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 No.183812

>>183809

Holy shit my fucking roomates are lucky I don't have work or holy shit i'd go nuclear

also fuck this keyboard and it having a fucked up y key

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 No.183813

>>183810

And I felt bad after drinking $44 bucks of booze at a bar one NYE, fuck how could you do that

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 No.183814

>>183805

Nothing happened to it is the problem I walked out one day and it was flat, makes me nervous that it just deflated over time and they will just go why the fuck did this cunt come here to get this fixed.

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 No.183815

Gonna have a shower, 2 in 2 days. This neet is living like a king.

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 No.183816

>>183815

the last time i had a shower was just under 2 weeks ago

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 No.183817

>>183813

>how could you commit to sobriety and pouring half a bottle of scotch down the drain?

I was drunk - why do you think it was only half a bottle

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 No.183818

File: 4f82572e482e53b⋯.gif (495.08 KB,500x230,50:23,tumblr_m8tl3z4xgp1rulvej.gif)

>>183804

Well when you've been eating like shit for years your stomach gets bigger and bigger so you can fit more in. I normally buy up to $27 in fast food at a time or so

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 No.183819

File: fd8d4c197b8cd51⋯.jpg (82.36 KB,771x771,1:1,ikuraz_9_11_2017_9_38_0_52….jpg)

>>183818

Fat cunt.

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 No.183820

>>183817

makes even less sense, usually you only regret being drinking the morning after

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 No.183821

>>183816

That's gross, how much do you stink if you go so long between showers?

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 No.183822

>>183818

how are you so rich that you can affort $180 a week in just food

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 No.183823

>>183821

i smell like an unwashed foreskin with subtle piss undertones

if i am required to leave the house, i just put deodorant on

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 No.183824

>>183821

different anon who barely showers, not much tbh

showers are a meme

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 No.183825

>>183823

You've worked hard to achieve an individual and special scent. You should let other people enjoy it too

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 No.183826

>>183788

I'm aiming for presidential size

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 No.183827

>>183824

this. if the smell gets really bad, i usually go up to the basin in the bathroom and wash my dick with hand sanitiser.

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 No.183828

>>183822

Waging, but even when I was a neet it was simple to remain fat as fuck on newstart, I used to be on $650 a fortnight or so, like $160 would go to rent a week and the rest would go to food

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 No.183829

>>183822

It's common for the skele's to bring food as tribute to executive sized neets for good luck

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 No.183830

>>183829

and a lucky belly rub

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 No.183831

File: dc0b0f7e1b81158⋯.jpg (31.73 KB,798x350,57:25,Hes on youtube called boog….jpg)

File: e9f64e12e7b268a⋯.jpg (105.62 KB,500x667,500:667,tumblr_njkn6j732W1qzmztqo1….jpg)

Do you think boogie and eugenia will hook up now that he got rid of his no good wife?

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 No.183832

>>183824

Yeah nah bullshit, when I was a neet if I went 2 days without a shower my underarms stunk like fuck with bo, I was even hardly moving my body and spent all day inside my room,, only venturing out for food

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 No.183833

>>183832

the smell of bo comes and goes

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 No.183834

Anyone else like farting on their hand then smelling it?

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 No.183835

>>183833

I hate it, if I catch a whiff of it I'm in the shower or putting on more deodorant

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 No.183836

>>183834

No, that's called cupcaking though

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 No.183837

Anyone else here cupcake?

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 No.183838

>>183810

Oh how I wish I was your sink at lunchtime

>>183812

Still not making any sense

>>183814

So you've inspected the tyre for obvious punctures or nails/screws/whatever embedded in the tyre? Might just be a problem with the valve maybe? Take it to a servo and fill it with air, then when you get home spray a mix of detergent and water around the tread and valve and you'll see bubbles if any from where there's a hole or dodgy valve

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 No.183839

>>183837

you can't have your cupcake and eat it too

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 No.183840

>>183607

I have to sort out my cenno debt. When I put my degree on hold I just kept getting the $295 per fortnight youth allowance payment because I was a broke neet and too scared to get on looking for work or whatever its called. When I went in the other week this fat old cunt of a woman was being so passive aggressive and cunt like to me, I was shocked. All the people I've had at cenno have been alright or good, this bitch got my blood boiling. She was talking to me like I was the lazy pathetic neet that I was, and basically threatened to send my case to the fraud department. Then I pulled the mental illness card and she changed her tone, told me if I could get a letter from my gp to prove I was depressed and a letter from uni I could get off scot free. I went to the gp today and I have a letter from uni so I've just gotta go in.

Tomorrow I'll try have my interview with the cops about my drink driving case that goes to court this month so I can get the interlocker out of my car. I've gotta convince them I'm not an alcoholic deadshit neet which I think should be pretty easy, I'll say I'm in stable employment and enrolled for next semester, bring up how mum kicked me out and I'm doing ok now blah blah. Also gotta get some other shit from vic roads and stuff.

Other than that I gotta do a bunch of stuff about studying in Indonesia, I leave in like a month and still don't have a fucking visa because the process is so drawn out.

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 No.183841

File: 79eb6308e469395⋯.jpg (91.54 KB,632x632,1:1,17881150_515337715256747_5….jpg)

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 No.183842

I kinda feel like going to a brothe;and het it over wth

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 No.183843

>>183842

have a wank

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 No.183844

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 No.183845

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 No.183846

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 No.183847

I think tonight I'll have a wank to my imagination.

Or maybe just not have one at all. New year new NEET, gotta cut my porn habit out

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 No.183848

>>183847

>I'll have a wank

have a wank

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 No.183849

>>183848

have a wank

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 No.183850

>>183831

She'd disappear, only to be found dead months later in one of his rolls.

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 No.183851

>>183842

Do it right now

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 No.183852

If I make it big with cryptos and offer to fly all neets to the same place would you come and have a pissup? I could buy out a beer garden for the night and get them to stock goonboxes and lambies

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 No.183853

>>183851

,maybe to,mmrow

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 No.183854

>>183852

All the chadNEETs would make fun of me for being a social autist

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 No.183855

>>183852

Ill come and bully the social autists

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 No.183856

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 No.183857

File: 09a71d48baaeae6⋯.jpg (102.54 KB,1080x1185,72:79,t29lG27.jpg)

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 No.183858

>>183854

I'm an autist

the real questin s owto kee it alonypis

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 No.183859

File: f8835b22c3753b4⋯.jpg (248.26 KB,1000x750,4:3,1512094465002.jpg)

>>183857

Please stop triggering me with white women

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 No.183860

how are brothels

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 No.183861

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 No.183862

>>183860

You still have to pay if you cant get it up

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 No.183863

File: 465c599fcc5e0fd⋯.jpg (194.56 KB,900x1600,9:16,dan.jpg)

>>183840

You can sort that all out after you have one last drink…or two

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 No.183864

File: 820c0a889369cb2⋯.jpg (108.36 KB,1080x1350,4:5,qvYswZb.jpg)

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 No.183865

>>183860

They're shit

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 No.183866

>>183860

Not bad if you don't mind the cost. I've been to a few, all asians of course, each time I was drunk.

One time I licked her asshole, fuck

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 No.183867

>>183863

You won't get me this time Dan.

I have just finished my single longneck and I'm feeling tired. Off to bed like a good neet

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 No.183868

File: b5fbf597aa54f40⋯.jpg (217.37 KB,1024x682,512:341,serveimage.jpg)

I WANT ALL OF YOU UP AND POSTING BY 6AM DO YOU HEAR ME BOYS!?!

WE NEED THOSE TAX DOLLARS TO GO TO WORK MAKING ORIGINAL CONTENT

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 No.183869

>>183868

fuck off you toothless boomer cunt

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 No.183870

File: ac2f185114cbe80⋯.mp4 (1.77 MB,400x400,1:1,Vote dog_4fe1ff_6414527.mp4)

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 No.183871

File: 693aebcea639c3a⋯.jpg (188.36 KB,920x984,115:123,great unclean dan.jpg)

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 No.183872

>>183852

Let's go to Greece and live like kings.

I'm drinking chamomile tea, I recommend you NEETs start drinking it, brew it for 5 mins to make it strong.

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 No.183873

>>183870

nice doggo

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 No.183874

>>183873

thanks

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 No.183875

>>183866

That's fucked

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 No.183876

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 No.183877

>>183872

Takes me less than 5 seconds to pour a cup o goon

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 No.183878

>>183877

You have to pour goon slowly like beer, can't just blast it in the gas

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 No.183879

File: 103d9f1286ab46c⋯.jpeg (12.02 KB,350x420,5:6,images (23).jpeg)

>>183740

>tfw she's never been right

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 No.183880

File: 02ab15c2d2dfec6⋯.jpg (29.96 KB,400x300,4:3,hank.jpg)

>>183879

You ain't right boy

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 No.183881

File: 6b8e8842f984143⋯.jpg (79.36 KB,450x600,3:4,1514611393692.jpg)

File: 7a60751970d4aa0⋯.jpeg (11.79 KB,300x300,1:1,images (46).jpeg)

>>183762

>tfw no anzu gf

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 No.183882

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 No.183883

File: ec6ceb19d15c5c7⋯.jpeg (16.04 KB,358x411,358:411,images (32).jpeg)

Need a lobotomy or a severe flogging from a father figure. Fucking pigged out today after dieting moderately for two days. I'm the meth head equivalent of a compulsive over eater.

Wish I was fat enough to qualify for lapband surgery.

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 No.183884

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 No.183885

File: bb2c1e15aef0010⋯.jpg (7.99 KB,249x249,1:1,1513806471852.jpg)

>>183840

Would be a shame if someone sent some information to the Victorian police about your posts on here ,Rhys from deakin.

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 No.183886

>>183885

Don't be a cunt, that's being frank. Anxiety sucks at the best of times and giving other NEETs ideas is never a good idea

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 No.183888

I haven't brushed my teeth in months. Sugary stuff hurts my teeth so I probably should.

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 No.183889

>>183888

Why not wait a little longer for the special surprise to grow?

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 No.183890

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 No.183891

That post fap piss burn is keeping me awake

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 No.183892

>>183885

>using monks unsolicited real name

>being this much of a fucking cunt to a fellow neet in the general

Wew lad, you're the reason why I'll stop posting pictures from now on, hope your happy with yourself cunt

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 No.183893

>>183892

I'm just stirring

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 No.183894

>>183892

t. monk

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 No.183895

File: 181aa8d70b49fd6⋯.jpg (18.01 KB,261x382,261:382,Tony_Shalhoub_as_Adrian_Mo….jpg)

t. monk

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 No.183896

wew

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 No.183897

>>183893

Doesn't matter, you fucked up

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 No.183898

eating some pie, just had a fap yet feel like utter shit. God damn you Dan

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 No.183899

>>183898

What type of pie?

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 No.183900

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 No.183901

>>183891

That's the worst of all

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 No.183902

>>183900

Have a aboriginal semen pie

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 No.183903

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

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 No.183906

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>183903

Oh my gosh another ausNEET watches those videos. I love the zoomed in blackhead popping ones.

There's a very specific formula for the videos I like. Firstly, a sufficiently stable camera with at least x10 zoom. Then, the physical requirements: The patient needs to have supple, dryish skin with a lot of resistance as it's pressed so that the force is transferred to the gel-filled pocket beneath the skin. Their skin needs to have been exfoliated; at this level of zoom, dead skin and sweat mix together to create a sticky wet fleshy wasteland and I can't enjoy the video.

The blackhead needs to be aged, at least a week but preferably longer, so that the skin-facing tip becomes hard and darkened through exposure to air.

The hardness is what makes the eruption satisfying; it turns the liquidy pimple juice at the very top of the pore into a respectable thick cap which requires a lot of force to squeeze out - the patient will be pushing from different angles as they try to force it loose, and it'll grate stubbornly against the edges of the pore until the force is just right and the contents of the pocket erupts, propelled by a fresh volume of thick, golden pimple juice.

Here's one of my favourites. Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng.

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 No.183908

File: 6e7658bd4121a3d⋯.jpg (26.21 KB,195x274,195:274,MOAR.jpg)

did anyone else see it? we were above /monster/ just now.

who can stop the march of the eternal NEET?

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 No.183909

NEETs starting to wake up or NEETs starting to go to sleep?

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 No.183910

File: 6403088662f8e6d⋯.jpeg (77.01 KB,566x800,283:400,4cac05114119fbb5e96692933….jpeg)

>>183909

sleep maybe

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 No.183912

Morning NEETs. What's your mission for today? I'm going to buy a 2018 calendar.

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 No.183914

>>183912

i'm going to try to get to sleep

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 No.183916

Just did my first set of 5x5 35kg bench I know its baby tier but when I first started I couldn't even do 1 set of 5 at 35 so i'm happy atm neets

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 No.183917

>>183868

I'm in the clear if that's WA time.

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 No.183918

>>183885

You're a fuckwit mate.

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 No.183919

>>183885

I was going to start making video/posting pics with my new camera but nvm now.

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 No.183920

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>183903

fuck yeah

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 No.183921

Up n at em neets

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 No.183922

File: 43b99e1b22f9d14⋯.png (194.06 KB,389x397,389:397,43b99e1b22f9d14d26d312fa11….png)

Just finished with adult day care (Max). I was told that I was not allowed to provide my job searches using Excel print out, even though it had all the require information. It is even Max's recommendation that you can provide your own sheet with all the information, as outlined by the job sheet they provide you as a point.

There was a guy there who got a letter reminding him of Job Search requirements at the day care centre. He balled that paper up and went straight to the computers for a wank I presume

I also think I was done by the pigs for speeding in road works zone, but thankfully I spent my bux on a dash cam. It was sign posted as a road work ahead but at no point did it indicate a change in speed from 50km to the 40km/h that it does on the other side of the work roads area.

>tfw it's time to get comfy

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 No.183923

>>183885

Actually everyone with my name has it come up as that in their browser. my email isnt rhys@deakin, theres some letters in there from my lastname too. So it could be anyone with my name but theyre probably all normies

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 No.183924

>>183922

Do you ever worry that your job searches will lead to an interview?

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 No.183925

>>183924

I do not like the degeneracy but some of the positions I would like to wage to get Cenno and family off my back. Then I can be more free, but I do worry about getting a call for an interview and making sure I sound professional

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 No.183926

>>183885

Not funny, so many NEETs want to make OC and videos but get turned off by shit like this.

Probably one of you losers that made NEETwalker delete his channel.

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 No.183927

>>183916

Nice work anon, I've got a bench workout today. I'm finding I normally manage bigger numbers in the early afternoon so getting some food in first.

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 No.183928

>>183793

That is the same pic as last time.

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 No.183929

>>183885

Don't make posts like that you cunt it isn't funny.

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 No.183930

>>183893

Piece of shit.

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 No.183931

>>183916

Keep at it m8 the gains will come fast.

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 No.183932

>>183919

Don't over react mate.

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 No.183933

>>183932

That was my impersonator, not me

t. monk

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 No.183934

>>183933

I wish I was a famous enough NEET to have impersonators.

Don't be put off producing new content for us. The doxxing threats are just bad jokes.

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 No.183935

>>183932

Yeah after the whole gookneet thing I have a very low trust factor for shit like that.

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 No.183936

>>183933

You're ego must be huge or you're retarded because I wasn't trying to impersonate you cunt

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 No.183937

>>183936

Your* my bad

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 No.183938

>>183926

NEETWalker deleted his channel more than once. He is just highly strung I think. A lot of NEETs get anxious about the content they put out and don't deal with criticism or rejection well.

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 No.183939

>>183936

Well I assumed you were Monk and I am not Monk.

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 No.183940

If I was still smoking darts I'd have spent at least 50 bucks this year. Instead I've spent about 5 dollars in nicotine mints. This is fantastic.

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 No.183941

>>183940

Have you been having any dart cravings?

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 No.183942

tfw 24 pack of snags not fully defrosted yet and I'm hungry

I'm not eating the whole pack btw i'm just cooking them up then freezing what I wont eat over the next few days then just taking out what i need over time kinda thing.

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 No.183943

>>183938

I think he just changes his name, his videos were always up. It might be VaporNEET that you're thinking of with the constant deleting and then uploading.

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 No.183944

I just bought a whole bunch of frozen food from Coles but I forgot that my freezer is chockas full and nothing more can be put in there. I just put the new stuff in the fridge instead. Will have to eat it pretty soon I guess.

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 No.183945

>>183943

He was UniNEET and his old videos were taken down I believe.

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 No.183946

>>183941

Not really, I was at the end of last year. On Monday I was a bit disappointed in these mints because I still felt the urge to actually have a smoke in my mouth and do the action of smoking, not anymore. I actually bought these mints because another neet said they knocked him on his ass the first time, but I spose I hadn't quit for long enough to get that. I'm just gonna go down to the 2mg pack next and then whatevers after that.

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 No.183947

>>183945

I wouldn't know really, I just know that we need more NEET videos and OC like the old days.

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 No.183948

>>183946

Good luck with it mate. Smoking is bad but it does not fuck up your behaviour and mind the same way the booze does. It is the booze you need to get our of your life too.

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 No.183949

File: 1a33955e84f576f⋯.jpg (81.36 KB,1024x986,512:493,5a72d68c8b35912f5f0341d71d….jpg)

did any of you NEETs win in the lotto last night?

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 No.183950

>>183946

I used to smoke when I wanked and when I quit the cravings were strongest when I was horny because I was so used to smoking and wanking going together. They got less over time though.

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 No.183951

>>183949

Not me. I am in Thursday's Powerball and that will be it for a while for me I think.

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 No.183952

>>183948

Yeah, so far I am sleeping a bit easier now that I'm getting out of the uh, dwelling, more often. Being in the sun helps, once I'm off the piss I'm gonna work on lowering my sleeping pill dose from 2 to 1, then I'll work on ditching the anti-depressant goy pills if I'm feeling up for it.

Think I'll try just a stubbie and not a longneck tonight

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 No.183953

>>183952

Best of luck Monk. We are all here for you.

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 No.183954

>>183949

I won div 1. Hoping it doesn't affect my DSP.

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 No.183955

>>183954

Will you have enough to buy us all gfs?

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 No.183956

>>183951

Good luck anon.

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 No.183957

>>183956

Thank you. What a thoughtful young man.

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 No.183958

>>183955

Only if you like abbos..

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 No.183959

>>183958

She would drink all my goon and siphon all the petrol out of my car.

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 No.183960

File: 089c91ddb0c5f50⋯.webm (9.99 MB,640x360,16:9,lovin_it.webm)

>feel like shit for over a year

>can't remember last time i had a normal bowel movement

>sleep is shit, skins fucked, wake up feeling like i want to vomit

>teeth are being ground away by anxiety

>go to doctors they find nothing physically wrong

>realise im dying of loneliness

i thought it was a meme

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 No.183961

>>183960

Do you have regular vices? Overweight?

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 No.183962

>>183960

I have shit skin too, does anyone else still have acne?

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 No.183963

>>183960

Is that a pedo webm?

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 No.183964

>>183962

How old are you?

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 No.183965

>>183961

>Do you have regular vices?

no

>Overweight?

no

i think nofap brought this on. i stopped for a month and now my shits fucked. didn't realise porn was providing such a large emotional support. i can't go back either

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 No.183966

>>183965

Do you get regular sunlight and exercise?

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 No.183967

>>183922

When I was at max joondalup I hadn't handed in a job sheet for a whole year and they never said anything, it was only when I got a job and wasn't handing my pay slips in that they got angry and tried asking for it

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 No.183968

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 No.183969

>>183968

Some people are just cursed to suffer from acne even into their thirties. You can get pills for it but I wouldn't since they are pretty nasty stuff on the body.

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 No.183970

File: 0b47e8342eecf8f⋯.jpg (4.09 MB,3024x4032,3:4,IMG_20180103_113424.jpg)

I'm back in the bowels of hell. Unfortunately there's no cute poojeetas again, heaps of gooks though. I saw the fat old cunt I had last time, I really hope I don't get her again

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 No.183971

>>183966

sunlight yeah, exercise: i tried swimming every second day but it didn't really do much. i might give jogging a go

i'm pretty sure it's my lack of socialisation though that is killing me. i'm 30 btw

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 No.183972

>>183970

Just be all like "I ain't talking to you, you fat old cunt". Customer is always right remember.

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 No.183973

>>183970

Good luck mate.

I wish I had the confidence to wear thongs in public.

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 No.183974

>>183960

Dans future customers

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 No.183975

>>183971

What is that video with all the children in it you posted? Are you a pedo?

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 No.183976

>>183975

it's a mcdonalds ad

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 No.183977

File: f7ede9396cfa8d8⋯.jpg (56.2 KB,452x524,113:131,carneet.jpg)

>>183970

hoonNEET sighted

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 No.183978

>>183923

It was genuinely in jest mate

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 No.183979

>>183977

He probably rides a bike to cenno

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 No.183980

File: 19d2a24d201dc46⋯.jpg (29.71 KB,500x415,100:83,wuz.jpg)

<kangz

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 No.183982

>tfw just ordered a pizza and some pasta to eat at lunch time

2018 healthy living isn't off to a great start m8s

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 No.183983

Got in quick, thank God I didn't get that green haired she devil again. Got this nice old woman who was super friendly, still gotta go back with proof of when I paused my study.

>>183978

Yeah I know, jus saying

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 No.183984

>>183982

How do you afford it

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 No.183985

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 No.183986

File: 26812fa4fbe49fb⋯.jpg (331.96 KB,1010x1500,101:150,26812fa4fbe49fb3d495702c81….jpg)

>>183982

>2018 healthy living isn't off to a great start m8s

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 No.183987

File: 6ce1cc0ede2cc3b⋯.jpeg (14.43 KB,450x228,75:38,images (43).jpeg)

>tfw 10 hour shift

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 No.183988

>>183987

what do you do anon?

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 No.183989

File: 88e6ec106da4aba⋯.jpg (67.8 KB,800x526,400:263,1503846185001.jpg)

>have to get interlocker serviced tomorrow

>mechanic is still on holidays

>gonna get locked out of my own car and have to pay 70 bucks for an unlock code

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 No.183990

>>183989

Dan's should consider offering interlocker services while customers are inside perusing the selection of goon boxes.

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 No.183991

>>183989

Whoever gave you the interlocker should reimburse you that cost m8

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 No.183993

File: 07357c0ebc443eb⋯.jpg (104.93 KB,250x250,1:1,large.jpg)

>>183987

>tfw bacon, eggs, sausage for brekky and will be spending the entire day at home in comfort

Break a leg wagie while I savour this coffee

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 No.183994

>>183988

Been working in fruit and veg at Cole's for 3 months. This is my first job. I'm 26.

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 No.183995

>>183994

What's your hourly rate? I talked with a dude who worked at coles as well doing those long shifts, he said he was on $27.50 or something

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 No.183996

>>183960

Being inside all the time makes me feel very sick but it doesnt stop me from staying inside. I definitely agree with the loneliness part too. Its all mental anyway.

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 No.183998

>at the Colonel's drive through

>Order a variety Feast

>"there is going to be a 15 minute wait on the chicken"

>nah fuck it then I'll just go

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 No.183999

>>183978

You are a fucking moron making "jests" like that. What a dumb piece of shit.

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 No.184000

>>183983

Glad it went well for you m8. There are a couple of right turkeys at my local Cenno, but most of the staff are pretty good.

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 No.184001

>>183998

A lot of niggers working at KFC these days

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 No.184002

Just got another big chunk of the ivy jungle cleared. Some more difficult work today, had to get it out of all the drains and parts of my fence and gate it had worked its nasty little way into. I reckon two more sessions should see the last of it cleared.

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 No.184003

>>183912

morning, I might head to the library after this tennis match is over.

>calendar

I bought a whiteboard last year that I use to make a note of any important upcoming events

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 No.184005

Does anyone else do laps of their local shopping mall? I like to walk around and look at all the stuff I cant buy like the girls . Wouldnt do it it though if I didnt live in white majority area.

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 No.184006

>>184005

No I skulk in and out as quickly as possible. There is too big a risk I will see someone I know.

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 No.184007

>>183995

I'm on 26 as a casual.

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 No.184008

>>184007

How did you get that job?

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 No.184009

>>184005

>look at all the stuff I cant buy

Does doing so motivate you to achieve more in life? I find the thought of it depressing tbh

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 No.184010

>>184008

My uncle is the store manager there and my parents forced his hand.

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 No.184011

>>184009

99% of it is garbage that I dont want and the 1% is stuff I dont really need anyway.

>>184006

I used to be a weirdo in school now I am chad passing so that situation doesnt worry me too much. (so long as they dont ask me what ive been doing with my life)

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 No.184012

>>184010

Were you embarrassed by that?

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 No.184013

>>184006

I used to be really bothered by this when I was in high school but since graduating could not care less for some reason.

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 No.184014

>>184012

To be fair the vast majority of normies get their jobs through connections, either nepotism or "connections".

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 No.184015

>>184014

I am not saying he did something wrong.

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 No.184016

>>184015

Neither am I, more so that if he was feeling embarrassed he in no way should.

The job market and recruiting/hiring is a fucking joke from start to finish.

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 No.184017

>>184010

he should make the check out chicks touch your pee pee

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 No.184018

>>184016

If I were in his situation I would have felt embarrassed to be around the uncle because I would have felt like a loser needing my parents to get me a job at 26.

That is all I was wondering. I am not saying he deserves to feel embarrassed. Just that that is how I would have felt because I am a neurotic sperg.

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 No.184019

>>184007

How many shifts do you get a week?

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 No.184020

Sexual assault

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 No.184021

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

What do you think of these goals? Pretty easy right?

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 No.184022

>>184019

One shift a day keeps you regular

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 No.184023

File: 67b43a41c3d98cb⋯.png (671.33 KB,1600x1200,4:3,biribiri_ad.png)

daily reminder to join our high female count oribiting discord-server @ https://discord.me/biribiri !

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 No.184024

>>184021

I ignore everything that guy says. Desiring a body like that is a sign of serious mental illness or personality disorder, Those big steroids balloons are a joke.

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 No.184025

>>184021

I had every one of those things down before 2016. Nofap is for idiots though, all you need to do is quit porn. Fapping is fine so long as there is no porn.

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 No.184026

>>184025

Do online stories count as porn?

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 No.184027

File: 3f75be7a9c35802⋯.jpg (1.92 MB,2592x1936,162:121,damn if feels good to be w….JPG)

Saw this at the shops today, the memes are entering meatspace.

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 No.184028

>>184024

That guy has pretty amazing genetics but yeah for the most part bodybuilders are all fucked up in some way.

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 No.184029

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 No.184030

>>184029

That's disappointing. I fapped furiously to that NEET's story of rooting the tinder slut in Vietnam.

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 No.184032

>>183940

good to hear

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 No.184033

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>184024

He's natural

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 No.184034

>>183942

i make packs of 6 when i buy the big packs and freeze them

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 No.184035

>>184034

Very smart. I divvy up things like that too. My mum just chucks meat in the freezer still in its store packaging. Drives me crazy.

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 No.184036

>>184033

I assume that was an ironic comment you made there, and you fully realise that his self-released test result of one particular thing doesn't prove anything.

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 No.184037

>>183960

Good shit

What do you use to make your webm's?

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 No.184038

>>183979

lol, you're probably not wrong

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 No.184039

>>184001

all the ones i go to are full of pimply apathetic teens who wont into a convo with me.

the other day i asked how her day was going and she closed the window and turned her lip up

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 No.184040

>>184039

Some NEETs have that effect on women.

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 No.184041

>>184026

stop fapping to the neetgen

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 No.184042

File: eaba06646669bae⋯.jpg (119.5 KB,1047x731,1047:731,danback.JPG)

The dodgy back area of dans

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 No.184043

went and saw The Greatest Showman this morning then went for a cruise for a couple of hours through the hills.

I think my arm is sunburned now.

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 No.184044

>>184041

I feel bad about it. It has only happened a couple of times.

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 No.184045

>>184043

Was the film any good?

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 No.184047

>>184045

Pretty good for a modern musical.

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 No.184048

>>184043

I saw a pic once of a truck driver who had been driving for decades and his window-side arm looked about 30 years older than his other arm because of the constant sun damage.

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 No.184049

>>184048

already they look pretty different, one is a golden orangey colour and the other has like a maroon tinge to it (my right)

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 No.184050

>>184037

openshot, it's pretty shit (fucking linux)

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 No.184051

>>184005

>walk around a shopping centre full of normies

>looking at worthless crap to buy

>wanting to buy worthless crap

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 No.184054

I was out driving last night and there were all these groups of teenage boys out enjoying themselves in the summer holidays.

I wanted to cry. My youth is over and I never even had one. I was just a fat weirdo who stayed in his room for the whole time.

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 No.184055

File: ed25262c1068d79⋯.jpg (24.92 KB,400x400,1:1,N_Vs09bt_400x400.jpg)

>>184054

iktf

I hung out with guys from high school in the afternoons but never on the weekend, just out to the shops and that sort of thing.

To be fair I never would have enjoyed the whole party thing I know for a fact, but just to have a group of guys to bantz with and go through life's milestones (finishing education etc., everyone finishing tertiary education/trade, getting a job, married etc.) and having people you know aren't retarded boomers that you can rely on would be nice.

I'm one of the younger NEETs so I guess my youth isn't over and I'm caught between wanting to just stay in my room and lift weights and also battling with this "missing out" feeling despite knowing no one. I feel like I'm too Chad passing too to become friends with the nerds or asians that just play DOTA all day but too beta on the inside to be friends with the WOO FIFO BALI AHA CLUBBING THE BOYS sort of guys, it was like that in high school.

You mention your youth is over, what would you have liked to have done if you could go back to say being in the 18-21 age range?

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 No.184056

>>184055

I wish I had been good looking and had friends and fucked sluts.

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 No.184057

>>184054

I'm glad I at least got laid when I was a fat retard when I was young

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 No.184058

>>184057

How did you manage it?

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 No.184059

>>184057

What happened and what was the girl like?

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 No.184060

>>184058

its a long story but it happen 3 times and almost all of them are just pure luck or right place right time kind of things.

The tl;dr version would be just by being around young bogan sluts.

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 No.184061

>>184060

>its a long story

Please tell it anon. the first time you had sex.

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 No.184062

>>184061

What else will he have a wank to?

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 No.184063

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 No.184064

>>184059

1: some hairy af chick (some kind of greek/med) with a flat chest (she was 13 to be fair) her mum was an alcoholic or junkie whore, her "father" (cant remember if it was stepfather or legit father) was a legit junkie and she showed me where he hid his needles and stash one time.

She was also raised by her sister and got put into some kind of foster home (funny story related to this)

2: some ranga whos father apparently molested her (i dont think this is true tho) and came bashing on my door at like 8am asking where his daughter was but he was some scrawny cunt so it was rather funny

3: typical bogan slut raised by a single mother who had massive tits by age 13 she also gave me a blowjob in the female toilets of the local rsl

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 No.184065

>>184063

PervertNEET's mannequin has realer tits.

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 No.184066

>>184063

While watching Mia?

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 No.184067

>>184061

i'm going to bed soon so maybe tomorrow or the next day (I have things to do tomorrow) i'm also not that keen on writing something I know one of you sick fucks will jerk off too.

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 No.184068

>>184064

How old were you during these events?

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 No.184069

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 No.184070

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 No.184072

I've told some stories in the past some people should remember assuming their "oldfags" (eg been around for 2 years)

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 No.184073

wait maybe 3 cause I remember telling some of this stuff back when fagneet wasnt hated (roughly when he talked about his uncle killing himself and his gf and then how he got put in a mental hospital for a little)

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 No.184074

Don't make me use my memory.

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 No.184075

>>184051

I dont know why you guys hate going to the human zoo. Its free.

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 No.184076

>>184075

They aren't behind bars and it scares me.

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 No.184077

Some of you guys don't seem to know how to tell a good sex story. You need to give details. you need to paint a picture of the people involved. Give ages and descriptions. you have to explain how things made you feel. What was it like to see someone naked for the first time? what were you thinking when someone saw your hard dick for the first time? Things like that. Describe the way the chick smelled.

that is how to tell a fappable sex story.

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 No.184078

>>184015

Yeah I am. Doesn't bother me too much it's just stacking embarassment on top of embarrassment at this point.

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 No.184079

>>184078

the worst is over now and you have an opportunity to use your new status as an employed person to start climbing up the social ladder. Having that first step with employment opens up lots more opportunities. Make the most of it anon.

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 No.184080

File: 9715719e41586d6⋯.mp4 (6 MB,640x480,4:3,Ass_to_ground.mp4)

Do some squats brah.

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 No.184081

>>184077

I'd tell you a great story of how I lost my v's with my pooj ex but I'm still not over her so I wont

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 No.184082

>>184081

Thanks for teasing us instead.

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 No.184083

>>184080

who the fuck let him do that smh

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 No.184084

>>184081

>chad has only been with one chick

sure thing monk

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 No.184085

>>184084

The rest are hookers

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 No.184086

>>184085

Tell us about your first time fucking a hooker then.

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 No.184087

>>184086

Alright, I will tonight. I'm a bit busy now

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 No.184088

>>184087

I look forward to it. Remember to give lots of details and descriptions of how you were feeling and what you were thinking.

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 No.184089

>>184085

bullshit

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 No.184090

File: b32c117587cb326⋯.webm (5.34 MB,540x517,540:517,That_girl_is_so_cute_I_wo….webm)

Fuck I forgot to mention that today while at the human zoo I saw a sluttily dressed 12-15 year old standing around waiting for something. Suddenly a very happy looking 60+ year old man walked over, said hi, then exchanged something I couldn't see out of his backpack. It only caught my attention because they were both looking around a lot and acting suss.

Honestly was probably nothing just looked very out of place to me that early in the day. Also the girls these days dress disgustingly, not just that girl but nearly every girl was wearing booty shorts/tube tops/skintight leggings ect. As a wise philosopher once said "They are sexualing young girls and its getting to a point where even I have a problem with it, and it shouldnt be that way."

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 No.184091

We were wrong to dub Monkey a Chad. His life reads like any other NEETs really. He is a little bit handsome but so are many NEETs. A handsome face and hairy legs don't save you from NEETdom if your head is fucked.

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 No.184092

>>184091

>so are many NEETs

None of us have posted our mugs so he is the confirmed prettiest NEET

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 No.184093

>>184092

I would never describe him as pretty.

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 No.184094

>>184090

Must be because it's school holidays. Probably something dodgy there though, I wouldn't say it was innocent if you actually noticed it.

All girls seem to dress like complete prostitutes at human zoos and those sort of places, disgusting.

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 No.184095

>>184093

How would you describe me? You're right, I'm nowhere near a chad

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 No.184096

>>184095

You are quite good looking, just not in a pretty way. You are big and hairy and have more of a "hard" look to you than a soft pretty one. I am sure most women would find you quite attractive.

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 No.184097

File: e15fe0f8e8e8568⋯.jpg (42.56 KB,460x300,23:15,ded.jpg)

>>184090

liberty is a cage as much as your skin is a wrapper m8, people have to learn how to take care of it or things go bad

should be obvious to everyone that summer dresses and floppy straw hats are the goat summer attire but it could also be that one of the better role models for young women died too soon

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 No.184098

What are you all up to?

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 No.184099

Does eating a veggie pizza with ham and drinking pepsi max makes me a faggot?

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 No.184100

>>184098

I'm reading the NEET General. Posting sometimes too.

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 No.184101

>>184099

>a veggie pizza with ham

>veggie pizza

>with ham

Anon that wasn't a veggie pizza.

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 No.184102

>>184099

That makes you cultured.

My payday stoner treat, when I was one was a Veggie burger with bacon.

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 No.184103

>>184101

What should I call it?

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 No.184105

>>184102

Been on the week eating veggies with rice and beans and I'm still hungry.

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 No.184106

>>184103

The McFag

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 No.184107

>>184105

A healthy fill of quinoa would help with that.

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 No.184108

>>184098

Filling out forms for the uni in Jakarta

Gonna go to Dans for my longneck soon, I said I'd just get a stubby but idk man

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 No.184109

File: 29df14130be6b55⋯.gif (1.22 MB,366x333,122:111,f6377b3721bcaaed246657c30d….gif)

>>184108

>Gonna go to Dans for my longneck soon,

Treat yourself, filling in those papers must be hard work

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 No.184110

>>184108

Drink in moderation tonight please mate. You've got a sex story to write remember.

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 No.184111

File: d9580a3973b26fa⋯.jpg (64.01 KB,600x581,600:581,d9580a3973b26fa89947e0ee68….jpg)

>>184107

I do not understand how the health agenda aligns with the core mission of the NEETs in /aus/

<There has been a disturbing lack of Dan posting

Telling me its old/overused, only makes me harder and I will post it more frequently

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 No.184114

>>184109

You know what Dan, you're totally right. I've had a productive day. A few extra ml's can't hurt

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 No.184115

>>184114

And a pack of darts to go with it. You only have to smoke a couple.

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 No.184116

>>184114

poor weak willed monk.

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 No.184117

File: b7ef7899a96b3c4⋯.gif (73.19 KB,300x300,1:1,Hint hint.gif)

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 No.184119

Saw a womans skirt get pushed up by the wind today.

It was a good day all round neetoes

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 No.184120

>>184117

He's raping me with his eyes

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 No.184121

File: 52b5b6a2a4c01ca⋯.jpg (31.16 KB,300x300,1:1,35e7206d0816991ad7c132cb7e….jpg)

>>184120

Sorry, I fucked up the transparency on the second image

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 No.184122

>>184120

He looks deep into your soul and can see how putrid it is in there.

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 No.184123

>>183968

I'm your age and still get acne if I slack off on washing my bedding and washing my face. Also if I start eating like shit.

Took fucking ages to even get to the point where any of that helped though. I thought I was never going to escape it

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 No.184124

>>184123

How bad was it in High School? Did it lower your self-esteem?

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 No.184125

>>184124

I was a fat friendless autist so i never had any self esteem to lower. It certainly didn't help though

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 No.184126

File: 7430076f756f85b⋯.jpg (17.01 KB,362x348,181:174,263d5994fe10b283c73dbf3966….jpg)

Doing a low carb diet this year NEETos. I did it just before Christmas and lost my Christmas kilos insanely fast so I'm optimistic. Started up bench again today and did 45min low impact cardio on 12degree incline.

What exercise and diet changes are you neets doing in 2018 to attain chad-aesthetics?

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 No.184127

>>184126

I'm just cutting out obviously bad food. Going to try to cut apending too, which means my diet will probably be a lot of meat and vegies

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 No.184128

>>184126

no excercise and trying to eat more

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 No.184129

Stir fry type thing on a bed of couscous

2018 is the year of the healthyNEET

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 No.184130

File: 627c0d32d873542⋯.jpg (97.96 KB,480x640,3:4,FUCK dan.jpg)

On my drive there I began rationalising a 6 pack to myself. "I'll just drink it slow, it'll help me sleep, besides I had a productive day, and its only $12" I said to myself. In the carpark I sat there for minutes trying to tell myself not to. In the end Dans black magic worked on me, and I got the 6pack. But today Dan was extra sinister. He didn't even advertise the price! It's been 12 past the last few times I've been there but today he raised it to 18 FUCKING BUCKS! Holy shit, I'm so fucking pissed at Dan, I can't believe I fell for his tricks AGAIN. I feel so fucking retarded I can't even explain it. And to top it all of, I didn't even buy them from the fridge, so they're fucking warm and I have to let them cool. God damnit fuck my fucking life. Never again Dan, NEVER AGAIN

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 No.184131

>>184125

You weren't friends with the other outcasts and autists?

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 No.184132

>>184128

tfw exercise and trying to eat more (healthy foods)

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 No.184133

>>184126

Also i don't really have an exercise plan in mind but recently I've been missing that absolutely exhausted feel that comes with physical exercise. Might take up jogging again or buy some weights

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 No.184134

>>184127

>apending

What an odd word.

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 No.184135

>>184131

I was that guy the losers made fun of so they had someone to feel superior to.

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 No.184136

>>184130

Dan was never your friend.

He's a using dog cunt.

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 No.184137

>>184134

I need to lose weight so my thumb doesn't make brainlet typos when phoneposting

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 No.184138

>>184137

You should get a dialing wand like homer Simpson.

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 No.184139

File: da7fe1b265d2ff7⋯.jpg (17.03 KB,340x270,34:27,il_340x270.1257984878_9gyr.jpg)

>>184133

I love that feeling. I have also discovered that I get the same face-flushed feeling from eating Stilton.

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 No.184141

>>184132

i'm too skiny and never habe enerhu

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 No.184142

>>184138

I might just get a voice to text program so the whole house can hear my shitposts

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 No.184143

>>184130

You see I don't even get up to having that reasoning because my anxiety stops me before I even step foot in Dans or any other shops

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 No.184144

>>184130

Sounds like you are shifting blame to Dan for mistakes that were all your own.

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 No.184145

>>184130

He did that to me too, went to buy pabst and it said $50 but it was $60 at the checkout and I was too much of a bitch to point it out

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 No.184146

>>184145

I once got a free $40 tub of protein powder by correctly pointing out it was scanned at the wrong price at Woolworths.

I then did another successful challenge at Big W for something else but they didn't give it to me for free they said that wasn't their policy.

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 No.184147

>>184145

that you rapeNEET?

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 No.184148

>>184147

Sherlockneet is back again

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 No.184149

>>184148

For every quandary there is a quandarer.

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 No.184150

>>184145

Yeah I told the guy at the checkout that its usually 12 and he says "unfortunately prices change my friend"

What a cunt

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 No.184151

>>184150

He's right though, what else is he supposed to do?

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 No.184152

>>184150

>my friend"

sounds indian

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 No.184153

>>184135

I know that feel. What made it so stupid was that because I didn't really talk to anybody or try to put myself out there, everyone teased me as being dumb and athletically crap I got called unco but I rationalised that due to my longsightedness and never wearing glasses even though I was neither of those things. It kinda died down when I spent every lunch in the library and filled out to 90kgs when I was sixteen so I think people were wary of trying to start something with me.

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 No.184154

>>184151

>what else is he supposed to do?

have a wank

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 No.184155

>>184154

I'm sure he will do that once his shift ends. Dan wagies are smart people

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 No.184156

>>184154

Have a goon

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 No.184157

>>184064

If we're talking sex stories I'll post mine.

I met a girl at an anime convention when I was 15, she was 15. I had been her friend for about 3 or so months when she came over to my house after school. My parents were coming home and I decided we should go to the park. Long story short I ended up making out with her, took her into the bushes and started fingering her. She was tight but wanted 3 fingers and so I did which loosened her up. She was a bit chubby on the thighs and ass and had a B cup. I ate her out a bit but she wouldn't give me a bj. She climbed ontop of me and I entered her, she said she was a virgin and there was some blood that ended up getting onto my pubes and on the condom. I pulled out and got her to jerk me off in the condom to finish. Only time I had sex with her until she turned 16. She was my gf for a short time. Last time I had sex with her was when I was 18(her 18), she cheated on her new bf which she said she'd never had sex with.

Looking back on it it's really stupid because the condom could of broke and I would of had to raise a kid as a deadshit.

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 No.184158

>>184157

>I would of had to raise a kid

You would have been raising a generation of NEET

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 No.184159

>>184155

>Dan wagies are smart people

Not smart enough to know that I was of the legal age to buy alcohol they ask for my ID every time I go in there

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 No.184160

>>184157

>it's really stupid because the condom could of broke

It is pretty silly worrying about that. You did the right thing taking the root.

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 No.184161

Offered Mummybot a dram of my Ardbeg An Oa (about $120 a bottle)… silly moo added about 6 ice cubes and Coles homebrand sugarless cola.

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 No.184162

>>184159

Maybr you should try not looking like a child then mate

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 No.184163

>>184159

There will come a time where you wish they would ask you for your ID like they used to.

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 No.184164

>>184158

I'd probably kill myself if I found out my parents met at an anime convention

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 No.184165

>>184161

That's women for you.

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 No.184166

>>184161

what gookshit is that

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 No.184167

>>184166

Scotch, nigga.

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 No.184168

>>184167

Whats with the name then

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 No.184169

The guys over at wizchan are really something else. Very insightful bunch, all of them. In terms of how I am as a NEET I would consider myself "experienced", but compared to them I'm less than an apprentice.

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 No.184170

>>184157

Anon I liked your story and I am not having a go at you. But I am going to give a few tips for people who write sex stories in the future. Just in general.

First, we need to know who you and the person (or persons are) We need descriptions. You do not have to give anything identifiable. But you need age, build, skin color, hair colour etc. This goes for yourself too. We need to be able to get a picture in our head of you.

Secondly, the fuck needs to be understood in emotional terms not just physical terms. It is not just about "the penis went into the vagina". We need to know what you were thinking at the time. You need to say things like "I was nervous as fuck because I'd never even kissed a girl. I was sweating and my heart was thumping in my chest". Things like that. If you are self conscious then tell us what you were worried about. Were you worried she wouldn't like your dick? Is there something about it you worry about?

Next we need all the senses involved. Visual descriptions are important, but we need to know what things smelled and tasted like. If it is a losing your virginity story we need to hear what your first impressions of tasting and smelling pussy were. How she smelled, what her mouth tasted like when you kissed her.

I hope this helps for future stories.

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 No.184171

>>184168

Ardbeg is the distillary and settlement on the island of Islay off the coast of Scotland. I think the An Oa bit has something to do with the Mull of Oa on the island.

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 No.184172

>>184169

I remember a few years back one of the admins or mods or something was revealed to not be a virgin. Funny shit

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 No.184174

>>184170

How am I supposed to self insert when the protagonist is revealed to not be a fat balding neet? Its like when you're trying to jerk it to a visual novel and then the main character takes out his disgusting Japanese dick. Total immersion ruining experience.

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 No.184175

>>184172

Hot Wheels used to post over there but he had to leave when he lost his virginity to some Asian whore.

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 No.184176

>>184175

That may have been it. I never really broswed the site much but I remember hearing that on r9k

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 No.184177

>>184176

It is very depressing over there. I stopped looking at wiz chan and r9k a long time ago. Wizchan in particular is full of people who actively want to be miserable and want everyone else to be too.

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 No.184178

>>184177

Yeah, to be honest I've had periods of my life where I've felt that exact way about things. But losing yourself to bitterness will never help in the long run, so you've just gotta fight it.

Surrounding yourself with people like that is the worst way to deal with it too.

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 No.184179

>>184169

I'd go but I'm technicaly dqed

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 No.184180

>>184178

Yeah the NEET General has a pretty good balance I find. People don't glory in despair here and people are mostly happy for those of us who get jobs and start doing better for themselves. And those who are doing a bit better don't look down on those of us who aren't.

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 No.184181

>>184180

The fact that we aren't overly hostile to people who get jobs is the defining thing for me. That's where we become crustaceans

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 No.184182

>>184181

The only time a wagie here should be harassed is if they get uppity and smug and disdainful to the NEETs.

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 No.184183

>>184180

>>184181

I agree, although we shit talk a lot it is a truly good community we have here.

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 No.184184

>>184183

The community is good but it lacks someone to set clear rules and enforce them. sometimes someone spergs out and there is no-one to rein them in.

I was so pissed when the Vietnam sex tourists got driven out the other day by a sperg. I had good faps to both their stories.

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 No.184185

>>184182

only wagies that kknow the neet life should be tolerated tbh

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 No.184186

>>184184

I enjoyed the stories just for their specialness of them, I think so many of us are just in the grind of stay in room stay in room eat fap computer that it's nice to have a refreshing change of pace.

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 No.184187

I think I might go for a nice NEET drive later on tonight, it's been a while since I've gone for a good drive.

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 No.184188

Ok, I guess I'll tell my story then.

I was toward the end of my backpacking trip through India and Nepal, was about to fly to Kathmandu in a couple days and I was in Kolkata. Hadn't met many people on the trip which was fine because I didn't really want to, I enjoyed being the only white guy for the most part and I kinda hate the whole hostel culture anyway. This night I was just walking around near where I was staying and went to a bar that had shisha. Got myself a shish and started on the beers. They only serve longnecks and tbh it wasn't that cheap but whatever. I'm chainsmoking cheap darts and downing the piss, watching the cricket even though I don't care about it. Eventually I'm drunk and I ask this other guy for a lighter, and he invites me to sit with him and his mate. Turns out they're from Punjab and just in town shortly and they wanna party. I'm stoked, might have a big night before I fly out, they tell me they're gonna head to the red light district later on and I immediately had no rejections. They say we should head back to their rented room to smoke weed and I'm thinking fuck yes. They'd rented this place purely for smoking bud so we lounge around passing joints shooting the shit, I got on with them surprisingly well, despite the litres of beer I'd had. They imply we should head to the red light district and I'm feeling ravenous inside. Before we leave they both pop a pill and offer me one, saying its "yaba", and I already knew that it was a pill containing meth and caffeine. I thought fuck it, why not.

So we get a cab and head to the place. As we go there the neighborhood becomes more and more dodgy. Fewer open restaurants, stray dogs, random characters walking around. The vibes are starting to die for me, but I trust that it'll be a good time. Eventually we get out at a quiet intersection and walk a block. Its incredibly obvious where we are. Theres a bunch of guys and women lined up on one side of the street next to these apartment buildings, pimps and dealers I assume. I just follow the guys who have gone quiet now and they talk to this one guy and motion for me to follow them up the stairs. I've got a nervous feeling and I think the meth is starting to kick in (ive never done it) and I feel confident enough that no one will fuck with me. Afterall I'm 6'4" and white, what are they gonna do right? I'm absolutely blown away by what I see. This is like a 6 story building with a narrow staircase. Small rooms on all 3 sides of the stairs, and all of the unused one have a hooker sitting inside or waiting by the door, saying some dirty shit in Hindi I imagine as they walk past. The guys I'm with are kinda giggling like its really naughty and dirty to do this and I'm just wide eyed and fucking amazed at how I got to this underground Indian brothel.

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 No.184189

>>184187

where to

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 No.184190

>>184185

Yes I agree. There may be special cases where someone has technically never been NEET but has a complete NEET personality. I am not 100% sure about that though.

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 No.184191

>>184184

Outside of fagneet tier behavior (and even that was after he provoked the entire general for weeks) i don't think BO ever did anything like that

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 No.184192

>>184188

how many times did you get the runs in india and did you shit in the street outside the brothel?

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 No.184193

>>184188

Go on. Are you a virgin at this point?

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 No.184194

>>184190

I don't think any wagie can truly grasp what the neetlyf feels like. There's a certain way that everyone in society views you that is pretty hard to explain.

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 No.184195

>>184189

Briagolong

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 No.184196

File: 367ee8d11092276⋯.jpg (29.07 KB,640x480,4:3,sad-pepe-640x480.jpg)

>>184188

>6'4

GET

OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

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 No.184197

>>184194

ex-neets can

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 No.184198

>>184195

bless this country in that what ever word salad you can imagine is a name

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 No.184199

>>184197

I was referring to wagies who have never known what it is to be neet, but to be fair I should have stated that in my post

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 No.184200

>>184196

Manletism should get you dspbux

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 No.184201

They get to this room and decide to pick that girl. They ask me "good?", I nod, as if I'm gonna decline what they want anyway. They ask if I want a dance or a fuck, and I just say dance for now. So we all go in this girls room and we get comfortable on her bed while she tends to the CD player, she asks if we want drinks and we all order a longneck each. She yells to some maid or whatever who quickly brings em up while she is intrigued about the white guy in the room and all smiling at me and shit. So we're lounging on this shitty mattress with our beers and she starts blasting this Hindi music and doing a sultry dance, shes got the full get up on too; makeup, bangles, a nice but kinda slutty Indian outfit. She's short but not too short, shes got a nice big ass and decently perky tits. Lovely face. For the sake of anonymity, lets call her poojeeta.

She dances well and its weirdly erotic while still being very cultural and kinda classy. Think those modern Indian music clips with a whole line of bollywood sluts dancing. She gets increasingly into and I'm starting to wonder how shes still stuck in this rundown disgusting brothel. The dancing is getting faster and more erotic but its not like shes doing some dumb twerking or something, it's hard to explain, its like shes pretending to ride my cock with her dance moves. I ask one of the guy loudly, "is she gonna strip?" and hes like lol no, I can tell from his expression that you're gonna have to pay for that. Immediately in my drunken methed up mind I'm thinking "im gonna fuck this bitch", and just sitting there feeling like I could explode inside her thick brown ass.

This goes on for a while but eventually time runs out and she turns the music down before turning it off a bit afterwards. She speaks another language to the other guys and I pick up that shes asking if they wanna fuck her. They decline but ask me and I Immediately say yes. I'm feeling like a fucking bull at this point and I can't wait for them to leave so I can get it on.

>>184193

No, shes my second

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 No.184202

Am I the only virginNEET here?

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 No.184203

>>184199

fair enough i knew i was just a cunt

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 No.184204

>>184202

No. I am one.

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 No.184205

>>184201

Very good story so far. Very very good.

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 No.184206

>>184202

I've never even had a girl show slight interest in me

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 No.184207

>>184203

we all are, mate

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 No.184208

>>184202

if i wasn't rape victim, i'd be a virgin

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 No.184209

Anyone else planning to go for a NEETdrive tonight?

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 No.184210

>>184209

I get too nervous driving. Night is worst unless there is literally zero cars on the road which is never a guarantee unless it is 3am.

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 No.184211

>>184208

neet king saves us all

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 No.184212

>tfw not dead

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 No.184213

>>184212

have a wank

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 No.184214

>>184209

not tonight but another day soon, plan on having a big trip

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 No.184215

>>184212

drive a tank

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 No.184216

>tfw eating bread

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 No.184217

>>184214

How far do your big NEETtrips take you?

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 No.184218

>>184216

Have it buttered

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 No.184219

>>184217

last ome was a 12 hour coastal drive

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 No.184220

>>184209

>tfw no Ps

Can't wait to be able to just drive around

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 No.184221

>>184219

> 12 hour

How often did you take breaks?

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 No.184222

>>184219

>last ome was a 12 hour coastal drive

Was that back and forth? Which coast?

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 No.184223

File: 1cd57e7d38b195d⋯.png (23.88 KB,215x222,215:222,Content.PNG)

>>184202

Never even kissed a girl.

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 No.184224

>>184223

Same here.

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 No.184225

>>184221

I stopped 6 times

>>184222

nah, and east/south

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 No.184226

АВСТРАЛИЙЦЫ ВСЕ ПИДОРАСЫ И ЭТОТ ТРЕД ДОКАЗАТЕЛЬСТВО

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 No.184227

>>184225

Was tiredness and losing concentration ever an issue?

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 No.184228

БЛЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯ

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 No.184229

>>184209

NEETwalk for me.

>>184169

They have a place for them. Why disturb it?

>>184184

Casual sex and prostitution should be discouraged.

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 No.184230

File: 20f772e2eab0913⋯.png (127.15 KB,1452x858,22:13,1476420754404.png)

>>184223

>>184202

>tfw the closest thing I've ever had to a sexual experience was when I was 11 and some girl grabbed my wrist because she'd learned about how to check a pulse in class that day

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 No.184231

>>184226

vlads aren't neets

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 No.184232

>>184229

>Casual sex and prostitution should be discouraged

I used to think like this but now I regret it. I do not lecture other people.

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 No.184233

>>184226

Well fuck you too.

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 No.184234

>>184202

I am kissless but normie looking enough that noone will ever know it.

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 No.184235

>>184231

I'm a vlad AND a neet. Сука.

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 No.184236

>>184227

only towards the end, which was a grueling final test

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 No.184237

>>184235

you're clearly a spaget

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 No.184238

She smiles at me and they leave the room. I'm ecstatic. She puts the music back on at a reasonable volume and kind of implies with her hands that she can't speak English. Even hotter. She playfully dances her way over to me still sitting on the bed against the wall with an empty long neck in my hand like a dumb cunt. She takes the beer from my hand and puts it on a little table, smiling the entire time. I'm amazed at how adorable she is. She walks over to where the CD player is and I can see a box of condoms, she pulls her hair around to the front and lifts up her dress thing to take it off. I can see her ass in some nice skimpy undies, not a g-string but something classier. She pulls it off and kind of wiggles her butt at me, omg. So deliciously plump with some very nice but subtle stretch marks. I've got my hand in my pants at this point awaiting her turn, and she turns to face me with a really sexy serious look on her face. I'm breathing heavy and kinda nervous that I'll cum straight away. The effect of the meth is probably at its peak now, and the last beer just sent me into a good drunk headspace. I want to ravage her less now and see what she's gonna do for me instead. She smiles a bit as she takes her bra off and reveals these really nice tits. Not small, not big, but the great shape. Nice lovely light brown nipples. She walks over and softly pushes me to the side implying I should lay down. I do and she gets on the other end of the bed. I'm wondering where she'll take this but no surprise shes on her knees all cute and taking my shorts off.

She kinda gasps and giggles a little bit at how big it is,I flick em off and she grabs my cock real tight through my undies, felt great and she could tell just how fucking hard I was. She toyfully jerks me a little then pulls them off and gets straight to work. One hand on my cock, one grabbing my nuts, she starts wanking me, changes periodically to looking at my dick and looking me in the eyes. I'm just gobsmacked at how good it is. After a little bit she quickly and suddenly leans down and puts her hands on my hips and gets straight to sucking my cock. Nice and sensual at first, just toying with the tip but eventually she gets down to business. Does pretty deep but I know shes not gonna hurt herself on it. She does this fake but realistic kind of moaning/gagging, its hot as fuck. I've got my hand on her head and after a bit kind of pull her hair towards me to signal her to get on my dick. She complies and slooowly takes my cock out of her mouth. She opens the condom and gets me ready before crawling ontop of me and quickly getting to the riding. Shes moaning half in pleasure half in pain which was hot as fuck. Shes panting in my ear after she just collapses her chest on mine and keeps riding. I decide to take over and grab her hips, spread her legs a little and start fucking her from underneath. Shes almost wincing in pain but suppressing it. I get a little tired so I flip her over to try doggy, I wanna see that amazing ass as I fuck her but its too painful and she pushes me away and gives me these big doggy eyes that I can't help but concede to. She turns over to missionary and spreads her legs for me. I'm so turned on that I mount her and just go at it. Shes moaning and moaning and puts her arms around my back and holds me tight, breathing in my ear. I can't help myself and I nut right there, after only 10 minutes of so or fucking. We just lay there breathing and she wraps her legs around me too, it was nice. And that was it. She gets dressed and so do I, she kisses my shoulder and sends me downstairs where I get ripped off and have to pay for the other guys beers. Then I had no idea how to get to where I was staying but didn't care. Figured it out eventually.

Hows my story, eroticfictionNEET?

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 No.184239

>>184202

kv here

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 No.184240

true NEETs shouldn't have stories to share because we all live relatively the same lives.

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 No.184241

>>184237

you're a fucking aussie you cunt, you don't got a say

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 No.184243

>>184233

you're an aussie too

>>184238

shit, why is this an aussie too

is this a gay bar or a queer appreciation club or something

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 No.184244

>>184243

this is the australian forum now get out

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 No.184245

>>184241

gopnik we too here enjoy alcohol and depression

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 No.184246

>>184238

Very good story Monk. Thanks for sharing.

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 No.184247

>>184235

Stop squatting in the goon aisle cunt

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 No.184248

>>184238

How much did it cost?

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 No.184249

>>184241

melbourne isn't australia tbhh

same way that Ukraine isn't slav

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 No.184250

>>184238

Sounds like you got played by the oldest trick in the book, some helpful foreigners "help" you have some fun and you get to pay 4x more for the trouble.

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 No.184251

>>184244

shut the fuck up fuckface I am conquering this board with the sheer force of shitposts

>>184245

even if you are admirable you are an australian

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 No.184252

>>184248

Like 60 bucks

>>184250

Worth it

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 No.184253

>>184249

I think you mean west russia mate

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 No.184254

>>184250

Even if that was the case he did need the help and it sounds like he had a good time.

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 No.184255

>years neet, feel like I'm going insane

>start waging, feel like I'm going insane

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 No.184256

>>184253

no I meant north israel

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 No.184257

>>184252

>60 bucks

Sounds like it was well worth the price.

How many hookers have you fucked in total?

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 No.184258

File: bfebc5fb312ac5e⋯.png (20.49 KB,642x715,642:715,1512086734002.png)

>>184255

>god i have being a neet, a job will fix my problems

>3rd day putting things in boxes, just wanna go home to goon and chans

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 No.184259

>>184255

I get that too, there's gotta be some way to feel okay

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 No.184260

>>184257

3 or 4, im always drunk when I do so I forgot.

I don't think I'll go to any more.

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 No.184261

>>184251

melbourne isn't australia

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 No.184262

>>184255

Be honest how many NEETs have put down to stop browsing 8chan as a resolution?

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 No.184263

File: 180bf8241135f3b⋯.png (294.64 KB,497x365,497:365,1485944523565.png)

>>184258

>spend all day at work wishing I was at home shitposting

>spend all night at home feeling bad because I'm doing nothing but shitposting in a dark cum scented bedroom

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 No.184264

>>184263

Thats why I drink

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 No.184265

>>184262

8chan is legitimately my only social contact, so dumping it would likely do more harm than good

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 No.184266

>>184247

no

>>184249

>>184261

they pretend to be australian in the same way russian government tries it's best to act like it's not mafia

and even still people that pretend to be australian are fucking bureaucrats and asshats, remove

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 No.184267

>>184263

>dark cum scented bedroom

if you made sure that your cum was dried out, it wouldn't smell

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 No.184268

>>184258

>tfw supposed to be oiut by sunday and haven't started organising

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 No.184269

>>184262

Thought about it mid way through last year. Stopped browsing for two weeks. Felt lonely and even more depressed.

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 No.184270

>>184260

Why won't you go to any more?

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 No.184271

>>184267

I used to believe that too

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 No.184272

>>184269

I did the exact same thing.

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 No.184273

>>184266

exactly

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 No.184274

>>184262

you are MAYBE NOT AN AUSTRALIAN

HELLO BROTHER AND WELCOME TO THIS HELLHOLE HOW MAY I HELP YOU

>>184263

you should eat your own cum you worthless sack of human refuse

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 No.184275

>>184238

Monk that was a truly great story. It was even better because you gave us the whole build up and really set the scene. It didn't just start with you in the room with the girl.

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 No.184276