No.182045 [View All]
OLD >>181283
Let bygones be bygones and turn over a new leaf.
Any resolutions?
____________________________
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No.182763
Should I change my sheets this year or next year
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No.182764
I went to bali for my first ever holiday last year, best thing i have ever done in my life.
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No.182765
>>182764
what even is good about bali
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No.182766
>>182760
It will be the poo house by then
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No.182767
>>182763
you need to prioritize the pillow
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No.182768
>>182763
why did you tidy your floor mate
>>182764
I'm not sure what the appeal there would be. I'd rather spend that money going innabush and seeing some nice aussie sights
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No.182769
>>182765
it's good for going blind from methanol poisoning and claiming the dsp
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No.182770
>>182769
>>182769
couldn't I just stay at home and go to Dans
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No.182771
>>182770
There aren't drunk legal aged teen girls at dans
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No.182772
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No.182773
>>182771
And why would I want them
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No.182774
>>182720
Whatch you think dog?
>>182752
>loosens noose
It better be good
>>182771
They were never girls m8
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No.182775
>>182765
dirt cheap darts, beautiful natrure sights, the weather is leagues above SA, Dirt cheap alcohol, drink and smoke nearly anywhere you want, bribe cops for fun, ride a moped at 80km/ph through a 1 lane road inside a rain forest,
I could go on for a long time. Anyone who can addoes it should go.
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No.182776
I wish cheesecake was still alive.
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No.182777
>>182775
Did you fuck anyone over there?
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No.182778
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No.182779
I'm >>182653's mate who went for the bj in nam. I got what I was after, but I also got my shit all fucked up. Prices are converted from VND to AUD.
Fuckin, so, I go to this joint that's been meantioned on heaps of sex travel blogs for what's apparently gonna be one of the sickest blows I've had, and it costs about $25, so I'm amped. I've been thinking about those lips for like 3 days. I get there at 9 in the morning so it'll be quiet and the girls will be fresh.
It's not open yet, and of course it isn't dickhead, they're called women of the night for a bloody reason.
I got there by catching a motorbike uber so I grab another one back to the city centre, and I'm pretty fucked off, I've got mental blue balls, so after getting a bev with the boys and being shitty the whole time I decide I need to fuck off and chill out. I don't want to go to another place for the suck because I know this joints good, and I know the price is good, so I figure I'll just go back around 6 o'clock.
1/3
pic: Ho Chi Minh (Saigon) skyline from a bridge over the Saigon River
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No.182780
>>182776
Cheese is probably just hiding, right?
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No.182781
>>182777
trips of bringing up the worst part.
Went with my ex because she said she didnt want the relationship after we'd planned the thing.
Said she didn't want to feel like she was married.
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No.182782
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No.182783
>>182779
Looking forward to this.
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No.182784
>>182781
that translates to "i wanna fuck other men"
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No.182785
>>182781
So you got cucked by hutut
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No.182786
>>182779
sounds like we've finally replaced gookneet
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No.182787
>>182780
he's having a wank
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No.182788
>>182784
Well, i took her V plates and converted her from a lesbian, so i guess its not too bad in the end.
>>182785
Yeah, but I'm going to go back later this eyar on my own.
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No.182789
>>182779
did she show you her cock
>>182788
Never put your dick in crazy mate
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No.182790
To wind myself down I'm just having a wander, and I see a massage joint offering 60 minute Thai massage, again for about $25. I've been complaining all December that I need a proper massage because my neck's cooked from work, and I fucking adore the Vigorous Thai massage parlour in Melbourne, so I figure this'll sort me out. Im genuinely just in the mood for a good fucking therapeutic massage, right? I go in, say g'day, and get taken upstairs to what looks like a pretty legit massage room. I'm asked to pay upfront, and I do, then I get my kit off and my girl comes into the room. She's the 4th girl I've interacted with at this point for some fucking reason, but that's fine, I'm ready to lie down and get these knots out.
The fucking tartan miniskirt should've been the first giveaway. Dickhead.
She starts doing the whole thing, rubbing up the muscles, standing on my back, all that, but I notice she's not actually isolating any knots and forcing them out. If you don't know, a massage is meant to hurt, they get into the tender muscles and rub the cunt out of them until the fibres all detangle or release tension or some shit, and it feels amazing. She's doing none of that, just some surface level basic backrub bullshit, but being a fucking dickhead, I'm thinking y'know, maybe this is a different kind of Thai massage, maybe it's a weird technique that I'll feel the benefit from later right? She pays no attention to my fucked neck, then spend like 20 minutes rubbing my legs and lightly brushing my dick on every couple of passes, so that's when I'm like, okay, maybe this isn't what I thought it was. She was being an unprofessional tart as it is, rubbing my leg with one hand while she changes fucking songs on YouTube, and skipping shit halfway through and shit. But in the back of my mind I'm still like oh, you know, maybe the dick thing is some kind of tourist thing they do to liven it up, or maybe it's just a side effect of trying to make sure she gets all the muscles or something. Right? Fuckin hell. Fuckwit.
2/3
pic: the stage the city set up in the prominent backpacker street for a NYE concert THAT FUCKING SHUT DOWN AT 12AM WHAT THE FUCK CUNT
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No.182791
>>182774
Yeah you'll like it, it's nothing disgusting so don't expect a bulge or anything like that.
>>182776
He ate too much cheesecake.
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No.182792
>>182789
I've been cursed my whole life to always wind up with cute but mental issues grills. So sick of it, but now i can't find anything at all.
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No.182793
>>182790
I got a boner from this
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No.182794
So with 10 minutes left she gives me a pat on the dick and says "you want me massage this?", and by this point with all her teasing and shit, and the fact that I've got a soft spot for yellow bellies as it is, I'm down. I'm annoyed that I paid $25 to get a light body rub from some airy bitch so I'm like alright, I'm here, you're warm, let's have a look. Her English is garbage but eventually I get it through to her that I want it in her mouth, but she wants $72. I tell her nah, no way, too much. She gets pushy, lying on top of me, kicking and biting my nipples, grabbing my dick, making me grab her various bits, pulling my undies off, and this goes on for about 5 or 10 minutes. I flim flam between haggling and saying I'm going to leave, and she gets to the point of grabbing my wallet and pulling out cash, I snatch it back and this continues some more. Eventually my hormones get the better of me. I've been saving my nut for days for this blowjob, I've got this hot little Asian thing in this hot little skirt climbing all over me and making these anime girl whining sounds, I've been staring at her lips for the last 15 minutes, what the fuck else was I gonna do. I got myself played like a fucking fool. I couldn't help it man, it's like waking up with a rock hard ultra sensitive dick after trying not to have a pull for two weeks, and like, it just hurts not to touch it. It needs to be touched. So, thus, it needs to be sucked.
She sucks the dick. I come in her mouth. I guess it was alright, I had a fondle but she didn't get naked or anything.
I walked out just as annoyed as I'd come in. I mean I got my nut, but it was a sour nut, and I'd paid $91 for the pleasure.
Might go back to the first joint tomorrow night, but that's like 11% of my initial spending money going to getting my dick sucked, which I can get for free back home. Doesn't feel smart, so I probably shouldn't bother.
But I think I love Asian girls a little bit too much. A lot too much. Just thinking about it now is making me twitch. I'll probably do it.
Dickhead.
3/3
pic: paper Christmas decorations we found in a little cafe we ordered mystery food at that turned out delicious
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No.182795
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
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No.182796
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No.182797
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No.182798
>>182794
So how big is your dick? Your friend says you need to buy large condoms, but he thinks you might just have a chode.
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No.182799
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
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No.182800
>>182792
Artificial wombs when?
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No.182801
>>182800
tfw no Poppi Waifubot
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No.182802
>>182794
How many cigarettes a day are you smoking over there?
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No.182803
>>182794
what did she do with the cum
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No.182804
>>182803
She took it to the foreign exchange place and exchanged it for 50000 Dong. Aryan semen is a valuable commodity over there.
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No.182805
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No.182806
>>182798
Pretty sure it's an average 6, maybe 7. I haven't measured it since I was like 15. Birds don't seem to mind it, and the hooker seemed genuinely shocked at the amount of sudden expand dong that happened when she put her mouth on it
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No.182807
>>182806
>the hooker seemed genuinely shocked
She is a good actress then.
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No.182808
>>182802
Not super sure, we've been here since the 28th and I'm on my 3rd pack. $4 Dunhills boys, still got the resealable pack too. Shits tight.
>>182803
Went and spat it in a sink. She was struggling to keep it in because it was a monster load, that was satisfying after having been fucked around
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No.182809
>>182808
Do you normally smoke when you are back home in oz?
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No.182810
>>182807
Hes not lying. I've got a 7 inch dick and I've had several hookers exclaim about it and genuinely refuse doggy style because of it. 7" is in the top 1% iirc
Is our Vietnam flag poster a regular poster? Why does the other guy always have a question mark flag
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No.182811
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No.182812
>>182809
Used to smoke a pack a day, as of '17 I'm generally just smoking when I go out or I'm drinking. So I don't generally smoke cigarettes at work or home during the week, but I'm still getting nicotine from those erryday bongs I'm trying to kick
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