You and Ashley Schneider should get married....
Neither of you ever bathe
You both spend your days at the library
Neither of you can afford a phone
You can't even afford a power cord for your laptop you scumbag bum
You're both disgusting and filthy and lazy
And you're both profoundly schizophrenic
Her hair is like a fucking Rat's Nest
And yours is a greasy bed bug trap
You probably have cockroaches in your hair and clothes as we speak
Nobody on Earth would ever fuck Ashley Schneider
That's why you're perfect for her
You're incapable of achieving an erection
Because you're the farthest thing from a man I could possibly think of
You and Ashley should get married and hang out at the library together