hmm lets see.
Assuming its porn flick, and not irl.
>turn on porn
>unzip and pull out your swollen cock
> take bowl of water and ice
>dunk weeny in
swelling should subside in about 1 minute
>dunk the contents of bowl over whatever device you were watching on .
win .
if your meeting with mistress irl
steps are the same except:
> you dunk the contents of your bowl over her .
> She'll be extremely mad and never want to see you again.
profit, because you get to not spend any more money on her.
<you're welcome.