No.157737 [View All]
I AXEDENT-LY STOP SOME1 FROM BREATHING MONTHS AGO AND NOW I THINK I CAN MURDER THEM. LIKE THE POTENTIAL. THE ABILITY. I WANT TO MURDER BUT NOT THEM. I CAN'T STOP H THOUGHTS. I SAW THE PESTICIDE. I SAW THE PILLOW. I SAW THE PLASTIC. I COULD SIT ON THEIR CHEST. I COULD HOLD THEIR NECK. I'M NOT TRYNA BE EDGY. STOP FING CALLING ME THAT. I CAN'T STOP THINKING OF IT. MY LONG TERM GOAL NEEDS IT.
I DON'T WANT THEM GONE. IT WON'T STOP.
BUT THIS IS A MISSED OPPORTUNITY. I AM ATHIEST. MY FAMILY IS RELIGIOUS, THEY WILL THINK I'M POSESSED BY SATAN. THEY WILL TAKE ME TO CHURCH NOT A THERAPIST.
I DIDN'T THINK MY BODY WOULD ACTUALLY AGREE TO HURT PEOPLE.
I DESENSITIZE TO BASIC SLAP AND PUNCHES ON THEM. BUTT IT'S FING STUPID IT DON'T APPLY TO STRANGERS. FUCK THIS
MY GOAL WAS TO MURDER A STRANGER AND SPEND LIFE IN MY DREAM PRISON. MY MIND THINKS IF I KILL THEM... THEN I CAN KILL A STRANGER... I DOUBT IT WILL WORK... SO I WANT THESE THOUGHTS TO STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. DON'T WORRY I AM HARMLESS. MY BODY WON'T COOPERATE.
____________________________
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No.158329
>>158308
Why are YOU talking about murder
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No.158347
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No.158357
>>158347
I'm not. I'm not
. I'M NOT. It's something I can't stop. I just wanted to say it still hasn't stopped. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG AND IT STILL HASN'T STOPPED! IT'S OUT OF MY CONTROL.
IMPROVEMENTS I MADE: I no longer feel like murdering them. IT'S OFF THE TABLE. GONE!!.
The physical assault has TO be done everyday. I TRY TO SLEEP BEFORE MIDNIGHT AND WAKE UP AS LATE AS POSSIBLE. Before the day ENDS IT
HAS TO BE DONE. I DO IT AND I GET RELIEVED OF STRESS UNTIL THE NEXT DAYY.
I WISH I COULD GET MY CONTROL BACK. IT NEEDS TO STOP! STOP! STOPPITY! STOP! STOPPITY! STOP! STOPPITY! STOP!
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No.158377
>>157737
Does any1 know how to control impulses?
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No.158407
breathe in, out, then stop, you needa stop
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No.158423
you have to be responsible and blame yourself and stop doing it tie your hands and stop you have to not hurt others on top of it's bad
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No.158431
>>157737
IT WONTTT STOPP. I TRY EVERY DAY TO MAKE IT STOP BUT IT WILL NOT END. IT IS NOT ENDING NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. I HAVE TO DO A PHYSICAL ASSAULT EVERYDAY OR MY GOAL IS GONE. SOMETHING IS PREVENTTING ME FROM STOPPING. WHAT IS IT? STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOITY STOP! 4 CONTEXT I HAVE 2 DO A PHYSICAL ASSAULT EVERY DAY. I AM KIND TO THE VICTIM AND I TRY DOING IT IN 1 SESSION AND I DO IT EITHER MIDNIGHT OR MORNING WHEN I SEE THEM. I HAVE TO DO IT I CANT STOP. WHAT DOESN'T COUNT IS SELF-DEFENSE. IF IF IF THEY GRAB ME ME FIRST AND I STRIKE. I HAVE TO PUNCH THEM ON THEIR SHOULDERS OR LEGS OR A KICK. A SLAP DOESN'T COUNT FOR MY BRAIN TO GET RELIEF. RELIEF I SEEK. THE DISTRESS PILES ON WHEN I SEE THEM AND I HAVE NOT DONE IT. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP. THEY HAVE TO WINCE VISIBLY OR MY BRAIN DOESN'T COUNT IT AND RELEASE THE CHEMICALS THAT STOP MY ANXIETY. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP. IS THIS COMMON? IT MUST BE COMMON? IT HAS TO BE COMMON? NOTHING RARE EVER HAPPENS TO ME. WHY WOULD IT BE ME? I AM THE MOST BORINGEST BORING PERSON EVER THAT'S BORINGER THAN EVERYONE. WHAT ARE THESE CALLED? HOW DO I GET IT TO STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP? I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I TRY TO STOP BY SLEEPING EARLY TO NOT HURT THEM BUT WHEN I WAKE UP IT'S GAME OVER AND THEY'RE GETTING IT. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP. THEY SEE IT AS ANGER ISSUES. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I NEED SOMEONE TO REALLY TELL ME.
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No.158454
>>157737
Why are you trying to seek mental health issues here? Trust me, it's not the best place.
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No.158467
i AM concerned for you. i am concerned on behalf the fact why would anyone wood be on this board.
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No.158476
>>157737
this anon is mentally ill because they hurt someone
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No.158490
>>158476
holy guacamole only people with credentials can say that
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No.158499
>>158490
I THINK THEYRE RIGHT I MYT BE. EVERY CHATBOT AI WHATEVER SPAMMING ME WITH HOTLINES SAID SO BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT, I AM A NORMAL PERSON. I HAVE TRIED METHODS TO CONTROL MYSELF BUT MY HANDS GO INTO A FIST WITHOUT MY CONSENT. NONE OF YOU GUYS HAVE PROVIDED ANY ACTIONABLE ADVICE BESIDES WHAT A CHATBOT OFFERS— HOTLINES! HOTLINES! HOTLINES! IF ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE EXPERIENCED ANYTHING SIMILAR TO THIS LIKE BEING NOT ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR OWN BODY. I WANNA TELL YOU GUYS I AM NOT DANGEROUS. THIS ONLY WORKS ON ONE PERSON. I TRIED ON ANOTHER BUT I COULDN'T HURT THEM. MY ABILITY IS USELESS.
AND THANKS FOR SOME ATTEMPTED ADVICE BUT YOU GUYS DIDN'T HEL IF ANY ALTRUIST GENUINELY WANT TO HELP TO PREVENT HARM AND STUFF YOU CAN SUGGEST ME TIPS SO I AN TAKE CONTROL OF MY OWN BODY AND STOP THIS HARMFUL ROUTINE!
I AM DESPERATE FOR ADVICE. PLEAZE.
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No.158507
get off ts and get real help. r u stupid ?
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No.158508
>>158507
I CANT GET REAL HELP I TOLD YOU THEYD THINK ITS BECAUSE IVE STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH. I CANT STOP. IA M NOT AUTONOMOUS. I DONT KNOW WHAT DO TO. TO DO I HOPE IT WILL STOP. STOP. I SHOULD STOP SOMEDAYY. I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF I DONT KNOW WHAT COULD STOP IT BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT REAL HELP AND I DONT WANT DV I DONT WANTTHAT. I WANT NATURAL SOLUTIONS THAT WILL HELP ME STOP LIKE BREATHING. OR FORGETTING ABOUT THE ACTION. BECAUSE EVERYTIME I DO IT I FEEL CALM AND BEFORE I DO IT I FEEL STRESSED.
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No.158512
everyone on 8kun is mentally ill.......no sane person posts on here.....
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No.158534
>>158512
I am struggling to disprove this,
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No.158543
>>158507
Stop talking like a niglet, your origins are from the most white privileged neighborhood ever and you get your food cooked for you by personal chefs.
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No.158546
>>157737
They're ignoring the pattern. I AM ADDICTED TO THE RELIEF GET WHEN I DO IT. IS IT A COMPULSION OR DO I HAVE LOW IMPULSE CONTROL?
I MIGHT TRY THE 10 MINITES TRICK WHERE I DO NOTHING FOR 10 MINITES BUT I DONT THINK IT WILL WORK BECAUSE I HAVE THE WHOLE DAY TO DO IT. IT SOMEHOW NEEDS TO BE DONE BECAUSE MY HANDS INSTINCTIVELY BECOME A FIST AND I BLINDLY PUNCH. I AM CAREFUL AND AVOID HARMFUL AREAS. I NEVER FACE PUNCH. USUALLY ARMS OR LEGS.I FEEL SO BAD.
I DONT THINK IM MENTALLY ILL. NOTHING IN MY LIFE MAJOR HAS HAS HAPPENED BESIDES... BOREDOM. I AM SO BORED AND WANT MY GOAL.
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No.158547
>>158543
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
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No.158565
you are crazy and this board is full of crazy people like you that's no sugarcoating
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No.158577
Good on you for being athiest and discovering the truth.
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No.158597
>>158577
God is totally real......you are denying God because you are a bad person......
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No.158610
I am not bad. Bad people are born evil. My affective empathy is so strong I can do no harm.
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No.158630
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No.158632
>>157737
I ACCIDENTALLY SENT >>158630 SO IGNORE THAT AND READ THIS IF YOU CAN HELP ME I NEED TO STOP THIS.
DONT CALL ME CRAZY I THINK MY SITUATION ISNT RARE BUT LIKE NO ONE HAS OFFERED ACTUAL GENUINE ADVICE NOT RUDE STUFF LIKE GET IT OVER WITH MENTALLY ILL, STUPID, GET HELP AND STUFF SO THEY DONT THINK THE SERPENT GOT ME AND STUFF MY DREAMS ARE OVER ITS NOT POSISBLE I WANTED TO BE RUTHLESS AND VIOLENT BUT GUESS WHAT, I GOT MY WISH BUT IT'S ONLY ONE PERSON, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED I'M SUPPOSED TO PUNCH A STRANGER BUT IT DOESNT WORK THIS ISNT FAIR I GOT CURSED WITH BAD COMPULSIVE VULNERABLE, HIGH ANXIETY, HIGH EMPATHY GENES. IT SUCKS SO BADLY AND I DON'T LIKE BREAKING RULES. BESIDES THIS INVOLUNTARY REACTION WHERE I HAVE TO PUNCH THEM AND ONLY THEIR SHOULDER WITH MY EYES OPEN NOT IN SELF-DEFENSE EVERY DAY AT LEAST ONCE TO GET RELIEF OR I FEEL ANXIOUS. I WANT IT TO STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP. I CANT BELIEVE IT HASNT ENDED. EXCUSE THE RAMBLING BUT I WOULD ONLY BREAK A RULE WITH ACTUAL FREE WILL NOT THIS COMPULSION IF THERE WERE LIKE NO CONSEQUENCES LIKE PIRACY OR I ACTUALLY WANT THE CONSEQUENCES. BUT IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE TO ME LIKE FLYING. SEE MY RATIONALITY? SO WHY WONT IT STOP? THERE IS NO NEED TO HURT THEM. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP.
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No.158633
>>157737
I ACCIDENTALLY SENT >>158630 SO IGNORE THAT AND READ THIS IF YOU CAN HELP ME I NEED TO STOP THIS.
DONT CALL ME CRAZY I THINK MY SITUATION ISNT RARE BUT LIKE NO ONE HAS OFFERED ACTUAL GENUINE ADVICE NOT RUDE STUFF LIKE GET IT OVER WITH MENTALLY ILL, STUPID, GET HELP AND STUFF SO THEY DONT THINK THE SERPENT GOT ME AND STUFF MY DREAMS ARE OVER ITS NOT POSISBLE I WANTED TO BE RUTHLESS AND VIOLENT BUT GUESS WHAT, I GOT MY WISH BUT IT'S ONLY ONE PERSON, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED I'M SUPPOSED TO PUNCH A STRANGER BUT IT DOESNT WORK THIS ISNT FAIR I GOT CURSED WITH BAD COMPULSIVE VULNERABLE, HIGH ANXIETY, HIGH EMPATHY GENES. IT SUCKS SO BADLY AND I DON'T LIKE BREAKING RULES. BESIDES THIS INVOLUNTARY REACTION WHERE I HAVE TO PUNCH THEM AND ONLY THEIR SHOULDER WITH MY EYES OPEN NOT IN SELF-DEFENSE EVERY DAY AT LEAST ONCE TO GET RELIEF OR I FEEL ANXIOUS. I WANT IT TO STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP. I CANT BELIEVE IT HASNT ENDED. EXCUSE THE RAMBLING BUT I WOULD ONLY BREAK A RULE WITH ACTUAL FREE WILL NOT THIS COMPULSION IF THERE WERE LIKE NO CONSEQUENCES LIKE PIRACY OR I ACTUALLY WANT THE CONSEQUENCES. BUT IT FEELS IMPOSSIBLE TO ME LIKE FLYING. SEE MY RATIONALITY? SO WHY WONT IT STOP? THERE IS NO NEED TO HURT THEM. STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP STOPPITY STOP.
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No.158708
>>158633
IDK WHY IT SENT TWICE BUT IT STILL HASNT STOPPED IT'S REALLY INVOLUNTARY IT'S REMAINED THE SAME A PUNCH I STOP I NEED A GROAN A WINCE A SOMETHING TO LET THEM KNOW IT HAPPENED. AT LEAST IT DID. ON MY PART I DONT MEAN IT, IT JUST HAPPENS.
WHEN IT STOPS ILL BE HAPPY THAT I AM ACTUALLY IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE.
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No.158751
>>157737
Nigga im posting this bs on tiktok, you gen have no reason to kill anyone ur harmless and like probs 13
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No.158753
>>158751
I CLARIFIED THE THOUGHTS OF KILLING WERE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. BUT THE DAILY VIOLENCE IS OUT OF MY CONTROL. I CANT CHOOSE TO NOT DO IT. I'M OVER 13.
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No.158795
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No.158798
>>158795
Because he's larping. That's it.
> UUU I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF. I PUNCH A PERSON EVERY DAY, BUT I'M NOT BAD. I WANT ADVICE. NO, NOT THAT ADVICE. DAILY VIOLENCE, UNBEARABLE, NOTHING HELPS. I'M NOT TRYNA BE EDGY.
bruh
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No.158803
>>158798
IM NOT FUCKING LARPING EVERYTHING I SAID WAS REAL AND HAPPENED. THERES NO PROOF I CAN SEND. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SEND YOU AS PROOF. IDK HOW TO GET YOU TO BELIEVE ME BUT IM USING THIS POST TO DOCUMENT IT BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING THATS UNISUAL THATS HAPPENED TO ME AND USUALLY NOTHING UNUSUAL HAPPENS TO ME. WHAT IM SAYING ISNT IMPOSSIBLE. I DONT PUNCH HARD ENOUGH FOR MY KNUCKLES TO HURT. ITS NOT SOMETHING I GET HAPPINESS FROM LIKE A MONSTER. ITS MORE RELIEF FROM STRESS I GET IMMEDIATELY WHEN I SEE THEM AND MAY AS WELL DO THE SAME THING I DO EVERYDAY. IM NOT CALLING THE HOTLINE AND IM HERE FOR SELF-CONTROL TIPS SO I CAN STOP IT BEFORE I PERMANETLY DAMAGE MY RELATIONSHIP WITN THEM. YOU MAY THINK ITS TO "LOOK TOUGH" BUT THATS NOT THE CASE BECAUSE I CAN ONLY DO IT TO ONE PERSON I HAVE NOT PUNCHED ANYONE OR HURT ANYONE BESIDES THEM IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SO ITS A USELESS ABILITY.
THIS ISNT THE ONLY ROUTINE I CANT BREAK. I HAVE 2 OTHERS EXCEPT THEY ARE NON-VIOLENT. ITS TAKEN CONTROL OF ME. I AM EVEN TRYING TO MINIMIZE HARM. I DONT DO BELLY PUNCHES. I HAVE INTACT EMPATHYA ND OF COURSE IM NOT BAD IM A VICTIM OF A BRAIN GLITCH WHERE IVE BEEN ACCIDENTALLY CONDITIONED TO RELIEVE MY ANXIETY BY HURTING THEM ACCORDING TO THE RULES. MY EYES HAVE TO BE OPEN, IT SHOULD NOT BE IN SELF-DEFENSE (BROAD AS IN THEY CANT TOUCH ME THAT SECOND) AND IT HAS TO BE A PUNCH NOT A SLAP AT THEIR SHOULDER OR LEG. I DONT CHOOSE THIS.
THIS DID START BY ME WANTING TO BEING BAD BUT I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE. IT DOESNT LISTEN TO MY RATIONAL MIND. I ONLY HAVE THIS PLACE AND AI CHATBOTS AS AN OPTION BUT CHATBOTS KEEP GIVING ME HOTLINES.
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No.158813
>>158803
Cool story lil guy, nokw hop off the internet.
But let's entertain the 0.01% chance it's true, because you've put a lot of effort into your bait.
You are harming your friend intentionally. You know you won't be able to control yourself, yet you refuse to treat your mental issue. Go to the fucking mentality doctor. Call the hotline, or schedule a normal appointment, or ask your parents to do it for you. The biggest monsters always think they can do no wrong. "Oh but I feel bad about it, I have empathy, so it's ok." Just fuck off.
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No.158831
>>158813
IM TOO AFRAID TO TELL THEM AND THEY ARE NOT MY FRIEND I LIVE WITH THEM, IM NOT A MONSTER, A MONSTER WOULD BE SOMEONE THAT COULD DO IT TO EVERYONE. AND ITS NOT INTENTIONAL I CANT CONTROL IT. I THINK IT WILL STOP NATURALLY BUT IM JUST WAITING FOR IT SO I CAN FINALLY GET RID OF DOING THE SAME THINGS EVERYDAY. I CAME HERE FOR SPECIFICALLG ANECTODAL ADVICE ON HOW OTHERS IN SIMILAR SIUTATIONS MANAGED TO STOP THE HABITS THEY COULDNT CONTROL WITHOUT ANY INTERVENETION. THE 10 MINUTES METHOF FAILED.
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No.158835
>>158831
Just google "impulse control techniques" and the like.
Why don't you want an intervention? Even if you're a minor, you can get it without your parents.
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No.158836
>>158835
I TRIED AND THEY DIDNT WORK. IF I GO INTO SPECIFICS THE CHATBOTS WILL GIVE ME A HOTLINE. I DONT THINK MY SITUATION IS RARE AND I WANT ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR.
IM IN A RURAL AREA, ANYTHING MENTAL HEALTH RELATED IS HOURS AWAY. FOR NOW ILL TRY TO FIND AN UNCENSORED AI TO HELP ME OR I CAN FIND A REPLACEMENT HABIT AT THE SAME TIME I DO IT TO STOP IT .
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No.158877
>>158836
I meant the search engine. There's quite a bit of internet out there besides the GPTs.
You go to school - nothing in its neighborhood? You can also get therapy online (just make sure it's a real therapist).
Do everything you must to get therapy. You have wayyy more problems than just this one, it's absolutely obvious even based on what little text you wrote here.
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No.158915
>>158877
NOTHING AND THE INTERNET ONLY GIVES ME HOTLINES. AN UNCENSORED AI THERAPIST WOULD DO I THINK THEY HAVE EXTREME EXPERIENCE IN EVERYTHING. I DONTKNOW HOW IT WORKS BUT THE STANDARD CHANGED IT NOW HAS TO BE THE RIGHT SHOULDER I DIDNT GET RELIEF WHEN I DID THE LEFT AND THEY DODGED SO ITS HARD FOR ME BUT I PUNCH BLINDLY OUT OF DESPERATE. IM GONNA TRY THE FLIGHT METHOD TOMORROW WHERE I AVOID THEM. IF I BREAK IT ONE DAY THE HABIT WILL NEVER COME BACK.
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No.159013
>>158915
I ONLY GOT HOTLINES FROM THE CHATBOT AND THERAPISTS. FLIGHT METHOD DIDNT WORK.
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No.159060
Hasn't ended yet but I'm super motivated to stop it. At midnight I wasn't able to do it but in the morning I had to. I AM GETTING MY CONTROL BACK NATURALLY. THERPAY IS BOGUS.
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No.159120
>>159060
Update
I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE CONTROL OR NOT. AT MIDNIGHT I HAD TO DO IT DO I HAVE TO DO IT TODAY?
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No.159172
My friend, stop your foolish atheism, because what you are saying is clear proof of the existence of demons and a single God. Read Surah Al-Jinn from the Quran, and you will understand everything.>>157737
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No.159174
>>159172
everyone who endorses atheism is probably a pedophile and therefore a bad person......
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No.159180
>>159174
It is not absolutely necessary, but I think they should delve much deeper into existential philosophy.
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No.159181
>>159180
they probably watch too much anime, and are therefore stupid....
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No.159187
>>159174
NOO IM NOT A PEDO. IM INCAPABLE OF HARM
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No.159190
>>159187
you don't need to be a pedo to be capable of harm......many non-pedos do harm, too....
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No.159192
>>159190
I DONT DO HARM.
I WILL EXPLAIN THE SCIENCE. ITS KIN FIGHTING. ITS NATURAL. AND ITS A BRAIN GLITCH. SIBLINGS FIGHT. THATS NATURAL. ITS ALL NATURAL. I HAVE IMMENSE EMPATHY. ONCE THIS GLITCH IS SOLVED IT CANT ESCALATE.
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No.159294
>>159192
IVE CONCLUDED MY GOAL IS IMPOSSIBLE.
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No.160068
>>158045
This, but I would have typed out attention whore not larp as that is not what larp is supposed to originally mean. Fuck zoomerspeak.
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