/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

>>355697

Imagine Planet of the Apes, but replace every ape with yetis.

>>355700

>instead of the Statue of Liberty being destroyed, it's been painted yellow instead

>>355701

"You maniacs! You made it lemon! Ah damn you all to hell!"

>>355701

>lemon

RIP in peace this thread

>>355701

shit meme

thanks for killing the thread

what happens if go skiing with yeti girl?

>>355943

She's rather make igloos.

>want to cuddle with fluffy yeti waifu while watching snow pile up outside

>live in the southwest, 135 degrees in the shade

life is suffering

>>356774

What if I'm allergic?

>>355534

Get a little heady from the yeti?

>>356784

>whether you want them or not

>A young lemon dryad's heart pounded in her chest as she saw Chet walking down the hall. He was the most popular and dreamiest boy in MGC High. She had been practicing for this moment all week.

>Skipping over, she stepped in front of Chet, taking him by surprise.

>"Hello, Chet!" She giggles nervously, barely able to contain her smile.

>"Hey, uh…" He looks her up and down, looking rather unenthused. "Uhhh…"

>"Citra Rutaceae! But you can just call me Citra. Ehehehehe~" She playfully rocks her heels.

>Oh yeah… the uh, grapefruit girl." He says, snapping his finger, "Hey look, I'll catch ya later, I'm actually-"

>"Cheeeeet!~" Called out another young woman.

>Citra recognized the voice, and cringed.

>"Oh god, not her, anyone but her…" She thought.

>But unfortunately for her, her mind had little effect on the situation. For it was indeed "her".

>An obscenely well endowed succubus strutted towards Chet, bouncing with every step. Her uniform did little to contain her curves, which she had customized far beyond what the school allowed. Skirt shortened to expose inch after inch of soft creamy thigh, and blouse with buttons that barely held on as it clung to her bust like cling wrap,. "Theeeere you are, Chet~"

>"Hey babe, ready to go to the beach?" Chet cooed, wrapping and arm around the succubi's waist, kissing her on the nape of her neck as his hand approached dangerously close to the waistband of her skirt.

>"O-oohohoo~ Yes~ And I'm wearing that bikini you picked out for me~" She whispered, unbuttoning her blouse just enough to let a peek of bikini wrapped cleavage spill out. "See~?"

>Citra's jealous glare could burn holes if she were a gazer. But as she was simply a dryad, all that happened was a slight increase in photosynthesis. "Ahava." She uttered venomously.

>"Oh hello! I didn't see you there." Ahava trailed off in thought, "Uh… What's-her-name?"

>"Citr-"

>"I don't really care." She scoffs dismissively. "Let's go, Chet. This shrub is leaving a sour taste in my mouth."

>Chet laughs and the two of them walk off, "Haha, nice one, babe. See ya later, Sentry"

>"It's-!" The dryad shrinks back as they turn a corner at the end of the hall and vanish from sight. "…Citra…"

>>357024

>Heart-broken, Citra holds back her tears as she runs to the bathroom. Collapsing onto the sink, she let out a torrent of sobs, and looking up at her pitiful reflection.

>Citra was a lovely girl, Shoulder length green hair, small white blooms interspersed in her verdant locks, luscious living branches coiling around her extremities. But unlike most of her peers, she didn't seem to have matured at all. Her body looking rather appropriately, like a twig.

>"Hey City, what's with the waterworks?"

>"Bluh?" The dryad blubbers, turning around to see her best friend, Lumi.

>Lumi was a yeti, her hair white, frizzy, unkempt, and reaching down to her waist. Her skin was pale, and only accentuated the dark bags under her eyes, which were framed with a pair of cracked glasses. She wore an over-sized black hoodie over her uniform that had 'DELUXE HUGS: 10$' in bold white letters.

>"Learning how to water yourself?" Lumi says as she approaches. "If you let me patent that, I can make us both rich. I know a danuki who can-"

>"N-n-no… I just… I went to ask out Chet like you told me to…"

>"Aw, man! And he said yes, and now you're crying tears of joy! I knew you could do it!" Lumi cheers.

>"No! Lumi, he was going out with Ahava!" She cries.

>"That cunt? That's lame, now I owe that yen sniffer twenty bucks." The yeti sniffs, wiping her nose on her sleeve as she pulled a cellphone from her pocket before tapping away on it.

>"Ugh!! Why me…" Citra moans, burying her face in her hands.

>"Hey, don't feel so bad. Not much you can do about it." She says, pulling out a pair of lacy, black, incredibly scandalous looking undergarments, and offering them to Citra. "Need to blow your nose?"

>"L-Lumi, why are you… Are these panties?"

>"Oh don't worry, they're not mine. They're Ahava's. Dumb bitch left her gym locker unlocked. All it took was a lockpick gun I bought off of Amazin' for 12$ to open it." She says.

>"Dammit Lumi! What the hell is wrong with you?"

>"Come on, girl. All the guys want to tap that, and half the girls are gay for her." She says with a low, lecherous chuckle, before bringing the garment to her nose, and inhaling deeply, "Aaaaaah… I know am."

>"Ugh…" Citra groans in disgust..

>"If it's any consolation, I still think you're way hotter than Ahava. Chet has seriously shit taste."

>"Thanks…" The dryad says dryly. "But you're right. What guy would ever want me, when I still look like I stepped right out of a Sabbath commune?"

>"Pedophiles" Lumi tucks the panties back into her hoodie pocket, "Hey, I think the president of the Anime Club would go for you. He's a lolicon, and his tits are WAY bigger than yours."

>"That's not helping!" Citra groans, grasping her head in frustration.

>"Flat is JUSTICE, man." Her friend says, shrugging. "I wish my tits were smaller. They would probably go down if I lost some weight. But I reeeaaally like my spaghetti."

>"I don't want to be flat!" She shouts.

>Lumi pulls out her phone again and looks at it, putting it back away with a heavy sigh, "I think I know a way to we can get you bigger breasts. I mean, if you REALLY want them that badly."

>"You do!? Citra says excitedly, grabbing Lumi by the shoulders and bringing her face up close to hers. "TELL ME!"

>The yeti pulls away and sashays over to a bathroom stall, opening the door and motioning to the entrance, "Just step into my office."

>"Uh…" Citra fidgets apprehensively.

>"Oh come on, don't be shy! When have I ever steered you wrong?"

>"Well there was that time you-"

>"Other than that time! Come on, man. I'm you're best friend! I don't like seeing you like this, and I just want to help you…" Lumi pouts her lips and gives Citra her best sad looking eyes.

>Citra knits her brow for a moment, before conceding, "Alright… just, don't do anything weird."

>She tentatively steps into the stall, Lumi coming in after, and locking the door behind you.

>"It's uh… kind of crowded in here…" Citra mumbles.

>"Nah, this is perfect." Lumi sighs as she press up against Citra's back, and breathes in through her nose. "Man, you smell so good, Citra…"

>>357025

>"Uh… Lumi, you're a little close. And, uh… what are you-EEEP!" Citra jolts upright as she feels paws snake under her arms and grasp her chest. "LUMI, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-"

>"Shhh…" She shushes, "Don't be so loud, do you want someone to hear you?"

>"I, uhh..You said you wouldn't do anything weird…" Citra whines.

>"There's nothing weird about this, this is a legitimate massage to make your breasts larger." Lumi says as her paws make small, gentle circles around Citra's small breasts. "Trust me, I use it on myself all the time." She presses her breasts against Citra's back for emphasis.

>"I thought that was because all that junk food made you fa-AAAT!" She squeals as Lumi pinches a nipple. "That hurt!"

>"So did your comment on my weight." Lumi says in a mock hurt tone. "Now take off your top, I can't stimulate the blood vessels through all this fabric."

>"Uh… okay, could you put it on the hook for me, so it doesn't touch the filthy floor?" She says as she starts unbuttoning her shirt.

>"Of course." Lumi giggles, as she stares at Citra's exposed skin on her back, failing to restrain a drop of drool to drip from her lips.

>"H-here… uh…" Citra nervously glances back at Lumi, "D-do I really have to take off my bra?"

>Lumi seems taken aback, "Why do you even wear one? I sure as hell don't." She quickly strips off her hoodie, exposing a slightly pudgy belly, and letting a pair of soft, sizable breasts to flop free, small brown nipples hardening in the slightly chilly room.

>Citra whines, jealous and self conscious as she hesitantly unhooks her bra, and taking it off. Her own breasts were practically non-existent, but were capped with pink, puffy, areola, and large nipples just under the size of the tip of her pinky finger.

>"Hmm, so that's why you wear a bra." Lumi says, staring far too hard at Citra's exposed chest.

>"S-Stop staring at them!" She cries before turning back away from her, "A-and just get it over with!"

>Lumi hums a little tune as she digs through her hoodie, "Just a moment… there."

>"W-what are you doing?" Citra asked as she heard a wet squelch.

>"Preparing for your massage. Duh"

>"But what was that AHhhh~" She sighed pleasurably as Lumi's now wet and slippery paws firmly fondled her chest. "W-wait, why were you carrying a bottle of lube!?"

>"I always carry some with me, doesn't everybody?"

>"No, Lumi! No one carries that around because not everyone is a pervert like you!"

>"Everyone's a pervert, Citra. I'm just more…" She pressed her body up against Citra, squirting lube between them and rubbing her body up and down to spread it all over. "…Honest."

>Citra shuddered, conflicted by her disgust and the tingling sensations Lumi's soft, warm body was invoking in her.

>"See? Doesn't that feel nice." Lumi hums, as she encircles as much of Citra's miniscule tit-flesh she could in her digits, before slowly tightening them down to the nipples in almost a milking motion.

>Citra gasps with each tug, breathing becoming more and more ragged.

>Lumi herself was panting huskily as she lay her head against Citra's shoulder, grinding her crotch against any part of Citra's body she could. "You smell so good, Citra… What kind of perfume are you wearing… Fuck, it's driving me crazy…"

>>357026

>"Haaa… haaa… L-Lumi, I-I don't… W-what are you… AHN~!"

>The yeti was lost in her debauchery, eyes out of focus, and mouth frothing with drool as her body moved solely on instinct.

>No longer aware of her surroundings, Citra didn't even realize she had reached down her own snatch and was furiously fingering herself, pleasure jolting out from her womanhood to clash with the ones coming from her bust.

>Her body began clenching and jerking, as she felt her pleasure slowly reaching it's peak, "L-Lumi! Don't… stop… please… keep… going~"

>But then, Lumi's grip got uncomfortably tight, knocking the wind out of Citra's sails just enough for her to become vaguely aware of a faint trickling sound.

>"L-Lumi, are you okay? W-why are you…" She looked back at Lumi, and saw her friend staring off into space with empty eyes, teeth clenched as spittle flecked onto her shoulder with the yeti's every breath. Citra felt something warm and wet that wasn't lube drip down her legs. Heart slowing to a crawl, the dryad's mounting orgasm painfully drained away as she saw a growing yellow puddle around her feet. "LUMI WHAT THE FUCK!? GET OFF OF ME! STOP IT!!" Struggling against her and her friend's slippery lubed up bodies, she manages to wrench herself away from Lumi, who falls over and hits her head on the toilet seat.

>Grabbing her clothes, Citra unlocks the bathroom stall, and backs away, staring at her friend laying limp on the bathroom floor tile. Unsure of what to do, she turns tail and runs away.

>>357027

>Lumi felt terrible, but she wasn't sure why. All she knew was that after waking up in the school bathroom after nightfall, Citra wouldn't answer her texts or phone calls. Did she do something wrong?

>She was sure it was nothing serious, she was probably just sleeping. It was 11 PM after all.

>The very next day at school, Lumi saw her in sitting in the corner of the lunch room, wearing a large hoodie, and hunched over her meal.

>"Hey City, you hadn't been answering my texts!" She says as she sits in the seat across from her. "I had the CRAZIEST night yesterday. Woke up in the bathroom stall late at night with a wicked headache! Crazy huh?"

>Citra couldn't look Lumi in the eyes

>"City, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

>"You… peed on me…" The dryad said under her breath.

>"Huh?" Lumi cocks her head, before the memory of the day prior come flooding back. "Oh! W-wait, hey look, I have a perfectly good, dendrologically sound explanation. You see, humanoid urine has nitrogen, which has a ph level of six, which when used on the soil certain plants, including lemon trees, are planted in, acidifies it, and allows the roots to absorb more nutrients, resulting in larger crop yield, and-"

>Citra lifts her hoodie over her head as she arches her back. Two massive breasts jutted out from her chest, putting even the more top heavy holstaurs to shame. Three of her blouses buttons were nowhere to be seen, the fabric stretched thin enough to see the far too small brassier underneath with overabundant flesh spilling over the cups.

>Lumi's jaw dropped as her eyes traced the bounce trajectory of her friend's bust.

>More than a handful of young men tripped or bumped into someone as they stared lustfully at the dryad's bumper crop.

>Unable to contain herself, the perverted yeti climbed over the table, and buried her face deep into Citra's bountiful cleavage, breathing it in like she was struggling for air.

>Pulling away, she lets out a groan of sheer, bestially sexual satisfaction, and growls, "Now I know that smell!"

>Lumi leans in close to a nervous and embarrassed Citra, and brings her lips to her ear.

>Opening her mouth, she says in a barely audible whisper:

>"It's lemon."

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so, sorry.

First peeing on lemons is a long held folk wisdom for making them prosper. To examine the issue scientifically, human urine contains urea (nitrogen) and is pH 6, so it tend to acidify the soil…both good for lemons; the downside is it may contain some semi-toxic salts; but assuming the lemon gets regular watering, not a real problem.

Some people use a little vinegar to acidify the soil (acidifying increases the uptake of minerals); as long as the vinegar is apple cider vinegar, white vinegar, or wine vinegar it basically provides acetic acid without any sugars which could enduce mold or attract ants… Note, it is the methodology of producing the above vinegars that results in zero residual sugar.

>>357049

Pee is stored in the lemons

>>357028

Jesus H Tapdancing Christ, anon, that was degenerate as fuck.

But your description of Yeti girl was adorable and cute and I'm always a fan of BE stuff on mamono. A+ for humor, D- for fetishes, even if it is a joke.

>>357688

>likes BE

>give a D- for fetishes

>>357708

You misunderstood. I'm saying BE is a shit fetish.

>>357715

Well then that's just not nice, fella.

I have far more degenerate tastes than my vanilla toppings, but at least I'm not into getting peed on.

However, I'm not gonna continue cause I don't wanna shit up the board over fetish wars.

Have a good day, fella; Ammit bless yah.

>>355724

Underrated post. Criminally.

Would you visit Yeti Park?

I mean don't we all?

>>364031

I'd rather get with her room mate the bunyip. Yeti still makes great lemonade tho

>>364032

Dead meme

>>366965

But ushis are cowrantulas, not yeticancers.

>>355624

This is

>>357028

Not my taste by very far, but this deserves a bump, just because I can't stand being the last one to share the fate of reading this although pretty good story

>>366965

>Img4

Fug

>imagining snuggles with mge yetis wishing they were real

>Remembering you live in Texas.

>>402947

Can't find the thread, but I remember somebody posting about Island Yetis