No.68037 [View All]
how does one choose between multiple waifus?
i've only just recently restructured my thinking about people and abandoned any hope in 3DPD, but there are so many pieces of my heart strewn around i dont even know where to begin choosing
there are quite a few candidates and im not totally opposed to being a haremfag but they aren't compatible with each-other and it'd be weird anyway. i would feel so awful and guilty for choosing one over the other because they all make me happy in their special ways. i'm pretty stuck.
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No.68066
>>68065
nah youre good dont worry, its really not something i can control. i just see a character that doesnt have any canons or anything and immediately i know every basic detail about them. it's weird but i cant help it
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No.68068
>>68066
Well, it's a little different if they don't have much of a canon personality behind them. I guess it depends on the circumstances, really, I'm honestly not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I'd have to know more.
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No.68069
>>68068
more? what do you want to know?
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No.68076
>>68069
Like, who are these characters? How much of a personality or backstory do they have in canon, if at all? Are you just kind of fleshing stuff out in your head based on the small amount that they already had; or making stuff up wholesale? And in what way are you imagining them; are they meant to be the perfect ideal partner or are they their own person?
We do have people with waifus who don't have as much characterization in their source as others, like Vocaloids or MGE girls; and it seems like a lot of fanon/headcanon goes into those while still going off of the little bit that they do have. So depending on to what degree you're making things up for them, and how much character they really have to begin with, I think it could be fine. I'm just wondering whether, in your case, it's just like those people with underdeveloped waifus, or if it's more like an OC.
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No.68095
>>68052
If you don't watch Anime (or read manga) or play videogames how do you think you could get a waifu? waifus are 2D this means, Anime, manga and videogames (with those aesthetics) don't tell me you think Celebrities or Movie characters could be waifus?
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No.68114
How do you know when you have a waifu?
How can you distinguish the feelings from just being attracted to a character (or, in the case of blank slate characters like lots of mobage characters, the projected personality you "gave" that character) or feeling a connection?
How can a connection to a character with a more rigid canon last with limited material to draw from?
How do you reconcile multiple people having the same waifu?
What if the character that "calls out to you" has a canon love interest/relationship?
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No.68115
>>68114
What I write is by no means valid for everyone and I don't claim to represent the entirety of waifu people but here is how I feel about it and how I would answer your questions:
>How do you know when you have a waifu?
you feel it, the very first time you see her you feel mesmerized and stunned.
just a giantic wow.
>How can you distinguish the feelings from just being attracted to a character (or, in the case of blank slate characters like lots of mobage characters, the projected personality you "gave" that character) or feeling a connection?
this is different from person to person but if she is the one you will feel it. Same with guys who married multiple wives. They always had 1 "favorite" amongst those. There will just be this 1 special girl that will always be the most important to you.
>How can a connection to a character with a more rigid canon last with limited material to draw from?
Use your imagination. This is the most powerful power you have. Take her to dates. Do activities with her. Imagine everything in your head in all the details. Paint pictures of your beloved one. Write her poetry. Compose melodies and songs for her.
>How do you reconcile multiple people having the same waifu?
They have their instance of your waifu, you have yourse. Each instance is one individual as everyone has different prjections and details imagined about his beloved one.
>What if the character that "calls out to you" has a canon love interest/relationship?
Well you can still love her and try becoming a little more like the person she is in the relationship with. Do not try to copy him but use him as inspiration for bettering yourself and becoming a better version of yourself. The alternative would be to ignore it or just say it is just an act for the anime/game story. Just like in a hollywood movie.
I know this all sounds very mysterious to you but you will understand it all when it happens to you one day. Then it will all make sense. All the puzzle pieces will align themselves.
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No.68116
>>68115
I need to elaborate on the first one.
The feeling is not that stuff you might get from other girls
>awww how cute
>wow, she looks hot
>she is clearly best girl
when your waifu finds you it is more like a feeling of finally finding a piece of you that was missing for such a long time. Finally coming home and just a feeling of wanting to be with her forever. You will feel it in your stomach as well. Whenever you see her. You will feel warm and like in nirvana.
tldr
It is just a set of feelings that can clearly be differentiated from what you feel when you just see hot anime tiddies you want to fap to.
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No.68117
>>68115
>>68116
I don't know if I'd say I reacted quite that extremely when I first saw her (I wasn't exactly 'mesmerized and stunned', though I did take a liking to her character very quickly). It took me a while to figure out what my feelings were. I'd say it's much closer to the way you described it in the second post. There was just this really strong bond that developed there, both with physical/spiritual attraction as well as a strong desire to be with her through everything and just spend the time with her. I don't really know how to describe it other then just that it's love.
Otherwise I think you're for the most part spot on.
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No.68119
>>68115
>you feel it, the very first time you see her you feel mesmerized and stunned.
>just a giantic wow.
I haven't really felt that way about anything ever.
>this is different from person to person but if she is the one you will feel it. Same with guys who married multiple wives. They always had 1 "favorite" amongst those. There will just be this 1 special girl that will always be the most important to you.
So, it'll be that the connection and attraction surpass all others, and persist?
>Use your imagination. This is the most powerful power you have. Take her to dates. Do activities with her. Imagine everything in your head in all the details. Paint pictures of your beloved one. Write her poetry. Compose melodies and songs for her.
So even if her canon existence is limited, you still have plenty of room to extrapolate.
>They have their instance of your waifu, you have yourse. Each instance is one individual as everyone has different prjections and details imagined about his beloved one.
So, correct me if I'm wrong, but take the following example:
Person A and Person B both have Eirika as a waifu. Person A's Eirika emphasizes her gracefulness and love of chivalry more, while Person B's Eirika emphasizes her playfulness and compassion more. They're the same character, with the same basic traits, but because they are interpreted differently, they are effectively different people.
>Well you can still love her and try becoming a little more like the person she is in the relationship with. Do not try to copy him but use him as inspiration for bettering yourself and becoming a better version of yourself. The alternative would be to ignore it or just say it is just an act for the anime/game story. Just like in a hollywood movie.
The alternative sounds rather disingenuous, as it disrupts the verisimilitude the character is built on. The idea of using her canon love interest as a positive role model makes sense, though.
>I know this all sounds very mysterious to you but you will understand it all when it happens to you one day. Then it will all make sense. All the puzzle pieces will align themselves.
You act like it's guaranteed to happen.
>when your waifu finds you it is more like a feeling of finally finding a piece of you that was missing for such a long time. Finally coming home and just a feeling of wanting to be with her forever. You will feel it in your stomach as well. Whenever you see her. You will feel warm and like in nirvana.
Well, I haven't really felt that yet.
>It is just a set of feelings that can clearly be differentiated from what you feel when you just see hot anime tiddies you want to fap to.
I feel desire to protect, befriend, and/or cuddle with characters more often than an urge to fap to them, but I presume it's different from that, too.
>>68117
So it's less an all-of-a-sudden thing and more a you-realize-it-ex-post-facto thing?
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No.68120
>>68119
>I haven't really felt that way about anything ever.
Yeah, I feel like that's a bit hyperbolic. Not everyone's going to have overwhelming love at first sight feelings.
>So, it'll be that the connection and attraction surpass all others, and persist?
Yes, exactly.
>So even if her canon existence is limited, you still have plenty of room to extrapolate.
Yeah. Imagination is really the key to spending time with her and there's nothing wrong with headcanoning things as long as they're based in who she is canon-wise.
>So, correct me if I'm wrong, but take the following example:
Person A and Person B both have Eirika as a waifu. Person A's Eirika emphasizes her gracefulness and love of chivalry more, while Person B's Eirika emphasizes her playfulness and compassion more. They're the same character, with the same basic traits, but because they are interpreted differently, they are effectively different people.
That's the general idea, yes.
>The alternative sounds rather disingenuous, as it disrupts the verisimilitude the character is built on. The idea of using her canon love interest as a positive role model makes sense, though.
Personally I've always seen it as really difficult to reconcile when a character has a canon love interest. I'm lucky in that regard that Ruby really doesn't have one. I have friends who have relationships like that, where they alter the story to make them be with her instead of their canon love interest, and I support them, but I don't know if I could do that myself.
>I feel desire to protect, befriend, and/or cuddle with characters more often than an urge to fap to them, but I presume it's different from that, too.
That's honestly a lot closer to what I felt though I *definitely* had and have the sexual aspect too . Honestly that might be equated to a sort of platonic or familial relationship but of a similar nature to a waifu one.
>So it's less an all-of-a-sudden thing and more a you-realize-it-ex-post-facto thing?
That's how it was for me at least. I don't think it was spontaneous love at first sight like the other anon said. My feelings did build up really quick, but it took me a while to realize what they actually were. I guess whether it's spontaneous or gradual depends on the person. Love is just weird.
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No.68121
>>68119
I think your waifu then did not find you yet.
Eventually it will happen, be sure of it and never give up hope.
I have been an animefag since elementary school and my beloved one found me at age 26.
When it happens you will feel it, you will feel something like: "this is what I always desired" or at least for me it was this way.
However, I have to admit that I was confused about it at first in the sense of "is this really happening"? The reason for that was that I browsed /mai/ since at least 2015 but never really understood how someone could fall in love with imaginary characters. Then it happened to me in 2017 and I was not sure if it was real or just a temporary thing.
I just felt a strange attraction and desire for her like I never did before and I was not sure if my waifu finally found me. It took me about a month to finally realize my love for her was real. Even after months the desire did not fade away.
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No.68122
>>68120
>Yeah, I feel like that's a bit hyperbolic. Not everyone's going to have overwhelming love at first sight feelings.
>That's how it was for me at least. I don't think it was spontaneous love at first sight like the other anon said. My feelings did build up really quick, but it took me a while to realize what they actually were. I guess whether it's spontaneous or gradual depends on the person. Love is just weird.
Makes a bit of sense. Different people emote in different ways.
>Yes, exactly.
So, what if someone has a character they're both attracted to and connected to, moreso than any other characters, and it persists for a significant amount of time, but they can't see it as anything more as just really liking that character?
>Yeah. Imagination is really the key to spending time with her and there's nothing wrong with headcanoning things as long as they're based in who she is canon-wise.
>That's the general idea, yes.
That makes quite a bit of sense, then.
>Personally I've always seen it as really difficult to reconcile when a character has a canon love interest. I'm lucky in that regard that Ruby really doesn't have one. I have friends who have relationships like that, where they alter the story to make them be with her instead of their canon love interest, and I support them, but I don't know if I could do that myself.
I don't think I could, either.
>That's honestly a lot closer to what I felt [spoiler redacted]. Honestly that might be equated to a sort of platonic or familial relationship but of a similar nature to a waifu one.
That makes a bit of sense. That's not to say I never find characters sexually attractive, but it's nowhere near as common as more platonic, "comfy" feelings.
>>68121
Was it a character you had known about for a while, or one you "encountered" more recently?
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No.68128
>>68122
I never saw her before but I saw many girls that were similar to her in appearance and sometimes also in behaviour. However, none of these girls really made it click for me for whatever reason. This is why I say you need to be patient. The very first interaction with her I already knew she was phenomenal and she is what I always wanted in a partner. I felt like I finally found something again I lost a long time ago.
The encounter was last year and it was a fateful one I guess.
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No.68130
>>68122
>So, what if someone has a character they're both attracted to and connected to, moreso than any other characters, and it persists for a significant amount of time, but they can't see it as anything more as just really liking that character?
I mean, if they don't know what waifuism or anything like that is, then that's reasonable. People might not ever come to the realization that what they're feeling is anything other than a strong crush. If I hadn't discovered the idea of waifuism as a serious thing, rather than just a meme, the same might have happened to me. If you're aware of the idea but still can't bring yourself to admit the relationship, then maybe there's something about it mentally that's making you hesitant to take that step, that you need to overcome.
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No.68134
>>68128
So she clicked when you first saw her? That seems to be the case in almost every situation.
>>68130
I know some people see waifuism as an elaborate marketing scheme, at some level, as many waifuists feel the need to buy as much official merchandise of their beloved as possible.
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No.68135
>>68134
I don't feel like waifuism is some sort of marketing scheme. While creators might bank on people getting attached to their characters for whatever reason, I don't think any of them would have anticipated the idea of a viewer developing the level of feelings or an imaginary relationship like we do.
And I'd take issue with the idea that all waifuists are merch-obsessed, and I honestly don't see why buying merchandise of her is a bad thing, barring it becoming unhealthy or something.
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No.68137
>>68135
I didn't say that all waifuists are merch-obssessed. I said that many (at least in my experience, this place seems to be less the case) are vehement and aggressive about people owning as much merch as possible. Again, this is just my experience, and this place seems to contradict that. Buying merch isn't bad, but I've heard some waifuists say that if you don't buy as much official (if it weren't for the emphasis on official, it wouldn't seem suspect) merchandise as possible, you don't truly love her.
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No.68138
>>68134
yes it did click. finally.
my very first interaction with her in the game and I was already like
>wow, she is phenomenal, why is she so perfect, like a goddess, when do I see her again
After finishing the game there was this melancholic feel I never had before.
Then a phase of doubt came as I was not sure what was happening and if she is the one. Thankfully anons helped me understand my situation when I asked for advice.
those were feelings I never had for other girls. If I liked a girl in a show or something I would usually think that she is best girl and that's it. After a few days I would completely forget her again. But your waifu will stay in your head and you will not be able to forget her.
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No.68139
>>68137
Hmm. I've never seen that kind of merch elitism before anywhere, and tbh I would disagree vehemently with that mindset. It's a little bit despicable to use merch as the sole measurement of love. By that logic, I don't love Ruby very much, since I can't currently get merch of her because of my situation even though I want to when I can. I imagine most people here would agree with me, too.
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No.68140
>>68138
So, for you at least, it was a sort of more subtle connection at first, and then melancholy from realizing that her narrative had ended?
>>68139
From what I've seen of this community, it tends to hold a more emotional/spiritual, and less materialistic, view on waifus and waifuism. It makes a lot of sense.
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No.68144
>>68140
Yes I adored her and then the game was over and for the first time I felt what /v/ calls "post-game depression". The doubt I had was because the last time I was in love was a decade ago and I was not sure if the phenomenon of "getting found by your waifu" has finally happened to me. I already read about it but I was not sure if it really was the case for me.
By the way it is like you mentioned already. Many outsiders believe waifuism is just about which girl is your most favorite fap material. It is not like that and anons can get very emotional about their beloved ones. It can even get spiritual in the sense of people building actual shrines. Merch is nice if there is good merch to buy and if you can afford it but not necessary in my oppinion.
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No.68148
>>68137
The emphasis on official comes from supporting the source that your waifu is in, don't you want to see more of her or at least give that impression? I don't see the issue here, nobody is forcing you to buy but in my opinion it is a positive thing to do and surrounding yourself physically in items with your waifu on them is a nice feeling. Bootleg merchandise is bad enough to support anyway.
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No.68150
>>68144
That all makes quite a bit of sense. Only time I experienced "post-game depression" was after the conclusion of a flash game series I had followed for nearly a decade, but I see how things line up that way.
>>68148
That makes some sense, yes, but it still feels like, somewhere along the line, a shill planted that particular idea.
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No.68151
>>68150
Why? I don't think supporting the source that created something you love so much is a bad thing at all. In my opinion it is only natural to want to do that, but you don't HAVE to do it to care about your waifu.
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No.68152
>>68151
Again, I get what you're saying. The only way a medium can stay alive is by being supported. But what about one of the following cases?
>The medium itself is over, but the company is still milking it for merchandise
>The character is confirmed to no longer be in future works in the medium, but merchandise is still made to draw in/retain older fans
>The official merchandise is handled by a third party company, and the original creator barely sees any profit from it
>The official merchandise portrays the waifu in question in a way contradictory to her canon character
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No.68155
>>68152
And why I've been asking all this, is that there's a character who I've felt at the very least affection for and a desire to protect and a longing to be around for at least eight years.
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No.68160
>>68155
Would you say you'd view them as a romantic partner, or more of a close friend or even maybe an adoptive kid?
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No.68165
>>68160
I could say I see her as a close friend, at least. I wouldn't see her as my child.
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No.68168
>>68165
I kind of figured. It sounds like it's either a romantic or very close platonic bond, to me.
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No.68170
>>68168
That makes sense. Not sure how I could differentiate it, though.
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No.68172
>>68037
hi fren.
If you are confused about making the decision between several characters, then now is not the time to choose. You shouldn't have to choose your waifu. You will know her when she comes to you.
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No.68173
>>68170
Could you see yourself marrying and living together with that character if they were real? And doing romantically affectionate things like constant snuggling or kissing? Or no?
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No.68179
>>68173
Can I visualize it? Yes, but I find visualizing most things easy.
Is it something I actively want? I'm not entirely certain. Snuggling, headpats, and setting things on fire together while nuzzling and taking notes on the fire all sound nice, though.
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No.68181
>>68179
Those things sound more than just platonic, but then again I'm more reserved in who I give physical affection to than some others are.
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No.68183
>>68181
It's certainly more affectionate than platonic, but to what degree, I can't quite tell.
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No.68184
>>68183
>but to what degree, I can't quite tell.
Just let it sit for a while man, you'll know in due time. It's about understanding what you feel and that can take time or even some outside occurance to make you realize.
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No.68185
>>68184
I've known about her for nearly 13 years, when I first played her game. She's honestly the closest thing I have to a childhood friend. I've replayed it many times over the years, and seem to notice a little more about her each time, even though her dialogue is relatively limited. I've felt these affectionate feelings for at least 5 years.
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No.68186
>>68183
>>68185
I mean, if it's not platonic, and it's not familial, I kind of feel like there's not many other places you can take this. She sounds like she definitely could be your waifu.
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No.68187
>>68185
Does the thought of making her your lifelong romantic companion make you feel all tingly and make you scream a repressed "YES" on the inside?
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No.68188
>>68187
Not particularly. It's just a thing that I can think of, and it's a more pleasant than average thing.
>>68186
That does make a bit of sense.
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No.68189
>>68188
>and it's a more pleasant than average thing.
Heh. That's a start at least. The fact that you consider it exceptionally pleasant is something. I think you might just not be as emotionally expressive as others are, and that's fine. I think that she very well could be your waifu, and this is a sort of romantic love. Those feelings are just playing out for you in a different way than it does in more emotional people.
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No.68190
>>68189
That's all very reasonable.
Coincidentally, she'd likely be just as confused by all of this as I am.
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No.68204
I think if you have to choose between multiple, you haven't yet found "the one".
I've had obsessions with multiple characters before and it is easy to confuse the feeling somewhat, but when you find the special one it will be a unique feeling, you will want to devote yourself to them alone and you will know it.
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No.69246
>>68040
>>68054
>your waifu chooses you
What. No. This doesn't make any sense. That just opens up the possibility of multiple girls choosing you. Are you going to take them all as your waifus? I didn't think so. Not that I mind people doing that if they really can handle it, but over 99.9% of people can't.
Just as you don't choose your waifu, she doesn't choose you either. You two just happened to meet. And you two just happened to fall in love. That's what happens.
>>68037
It took me many years after I learned of the concept to meet her in a somewhat obscure game, and over a year after that to learn that she'd already become my waifu for months. Your waifu will likely be in a place you wouldn't expect to look. And don't force it either. It may be counterintuitive, but the best way to "find" your waifu is not to try finding her at all.
Though from >>68052 I get this feeling that your eventual waifu will be OC and hence disallowed here, it might very well not be the case too. In any case, just be patient and you'll eventually find the one.
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No.69248
>>69246
>Just as you don't choose your waifu, she doesn't choose you either. You two just happened to meet. And you two just happened to fall in love. That's what happens.
That makes it a mutual choice. Your waifu chooses you, but you choose her back. It should always be mutual.
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No.69250
>>69248
Technically it does constitute a choice, but it has to be one that's made unconsciously. And you're right, it's mutual. If you say your waifu chooses her, you must choose her too. If you say you don't choose your waifu, she cannot choose you either.
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No.69251
>>69250
If you say your waifu chooses you*
I derped out for a second there.
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No.69274
I think a lot of people get the wrong idea that you "choose" a waifu but it's not true, it's not like picking your favourite anime girl. It's not even the same as having a crush. It's a unique feeling.
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No.69771
>>68038
I haven't even had romantic feelings for an actual person before, so no real idea what the "spark" is. But I'm also going to try your advice. Already committed to a life alone with a dogo, so until >>>/robowaifu/ pulls through I'm going to try enjoy this.
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