/hikki/ - Hikikomori

I've been a hikikomori for more than 2 years. And honestly I don't like being one, while at the same time I really don't want to be like other people. Sometimes I even believe it's a privilege to have the mind of a hikikomori and completely disapprove of the idea of being like most people, but having this mindset comes with a very high price and I simply can't handle this weight any longer. It's so suffocating having no one to talk to and living life in complete silence. I started having speech problems last year, I stutter all the time or simply freeze when trying to talk, as if little by little I started becoming unfamiliar with my own voice. And it's honestly very strange and scary to think that I'll probably live my whole life this way. I thought a lot about this and thought a lot about the moment when I decided that I would never leave home again. I also thought about how most people out there don't care about people like us and there are many hikikomoris suffering inside their rooms wishing for real help from someone