/hikki/ - Hikikomori

Once they turned off the electricity to the whole house to try and get me out.

I didn't really care though, since i was going to sleep. it was back on after about an hour.

Time is my greatest ally.

I just wait the shit storm out and everything normally goes back to the way it was.

There was also a time where they sprung off all the fire alarms and started yelling like there was a legit fire just to get me out.

Not a single fuck was given.

To be honest, they never threaten to kick me out of the home or tell me to make a life for myself. I was still in middle school so things was alot easier they treated me gently bought me games etc.

Now I'm 19yo highschool droop out with no future since I live in a shithole where having a university degree is as important as your life,

Now they force me to go out and tell me that I'm just lazy and liked living like that. People would constantly comment on my appearance and they still do everytime I ride the bus.

Now to avoid their words I shut myself in my room and don't reply anyone. Actually I'm content with the hikki lifestyle what hurts me the most though. those who commit suicide and leave us.

>>6259

Whats wrong with just saying no? If your parents arent used to you saying no you just have to start doing it a lot and eventually they just give up and say whatever and then they wont even try to push you into doing stuff anymore.

>>6261

Tell them you already had plans with us

>family forced me to fly to where they live because they think im going to kill myself

>all i have is my shitty laptop with me

>don't have any privacy or even my own bed out here

>constantly surrounded by yelling, crying children, and loud obnoxious cable TV

I am losing my mind without my nest. I can't live like this. Ironically the best place for me is sitting on the back porch because it's cold and windy so they dont want to be outside. That is until my mom comes out there to smoke and talks at me until i feel like crying. The worst part? I don't even have flying back to my nest to look forward to because it was a one way ticket. I have no idea when they are going to let me leave. If I had money i would go right now. I'm wound so tight I feel like i could just explode. At the very least i'm allowed to drink. I've been drunk for about a week straight and its making me feel physically ill now. But I don't have any other coping mechanisms. I have a Gabapentin script but i dont like the way that makes me feel.

For a while I calmed everybody down by going outside to ride my bike or pick up booze/junk food once or twice a day. But then I just couldn't hack it anymore and spent about 2 weeks in total isolation because why not. Which freaked everyone out because "he's going back to his old ways" and now im here. Thinking about calling my brother out on being a terrible father so he'll beat me up and maybe put me in the hospital. I would rather be in the hospital. I really wish I had the pension for suicide right now but i just don't for some reason.

>>6229

>Have your parents or the other family member you live with ever tried to force you outside?

After high school my father basically dragged me into finding a job.

I did some internships (which were bad but I survived) and then I went back to my room.

When the whole process was about to happen again I just told my parents that I was depressed and then I went to a mental hospital.

After years of useless therapy, my parents are now understanding and they let me be a hikki.

While this is a good thing, my life sucks anyway, because I'm depressed, nihilist, and have no goals in life. But I (kind of) tried the alternative, and it's literally impossible for me to endure.

I only go outside for health (physical check ups etc.)

Recently my parents sent me to Vocational Rehabilitation for the first time. The guy kept egging me to go to college and get a degree so I can get hired. But to be honest I don't want a job at all because social interaction or attempting to connect with others hurts me a lot and not worth the risk (but this shit is on me because I haven't told this to my parents).

It feels obvious that college isn't worth it because it lost its meaning years ago, I heard on some /pol/ clips that it's basically a big scam now a days because of how easy it is for everyone to get a degree and only those with charisma and the most connections get in.

my mom used to come into my room and shove me and get into my face yelling at me to get out and i usually just stood there ignoring her until she pushed my door open and i slammed the door back on her and she landed on her ass and looked scared

i also started throwing things at her, she is much nicer to me now than ever before.

she also locked me out before by letting my cat out and then telling me to go get him and locking the door behind me so i broke in through the basement and hid in a closet while she drove around for half an hour looking for me because i disappeared lol

I try not to cause problems, clean a room once in a while at night, don't make loud noises, etc. just so there's the idea of "there's no problem, just an introvert". I don't understand the hikkis who break walls and scream, obviously you'll be thrown outside if you do that.

Just keep your head down and prepare if the worst happens.

>>7819

or join to legion etrangere france