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/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit

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A WARNING TO ALL NEW USERS IF YOU ARE NOT A HIKIKOMORI I WILL BAN YOU!! People who are going to work or school are not Hikikomori There are many people on here who can not leave their home Please choose your topic with consideration IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AT HOME INSIDE YOUR ROOM FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS OR MORE THEN DON'T POST HERE!

File: e276d3ae7f62809⋯.jpg (97.5 KB,998x974,499:487,1451371769317.jpg)

40d042 No.5260 [Last50 Posts]

I am wonder how many hikkis on this board are 30+

The media attention on us hikikomori has escalated dramatically in the last 20 or so years, but a lot of the people who talk about it or research say that there have been hikkis since the 1980s.

I have seen one elder hikki, who is supposedly over 60 years old. I am wondering if there are more hikkis here over 30. The statistics say that a lot of hikkis are older, like 30-45. So what is it like for you?. Do you get used to it after awhile? I always imagine that a hikikomori is someone who uses the internet constantly. I can't imagine what it was like to be a hikki before internet existed.

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2549f3 No.5272

File: 98261dc0f720c10⋯.jpg (65.24 KB,500x378,250:189,hikki.jpg)

>>5260

>The media attention on us hikikomori has escalated dramatically in the last 20 or so years, but a lot of the people who talk about it or research say that there have been hikkis since the 1980s.

The first generation of hikikomori in Japan started in the 70s and 80s a decent size of them still remain isolated in their rooms to this very day they are in their 40s and 50s now.

>The statistics say that a lot of hikkis are older, like 30-45

I don't know about international statistics and there probably aren't any but in Japan the average age of a hikikomori is between 15-32.

>I can't imagine what it was like to be a hikki before internet existed.

They slept all day read books played video games watched vhs movies watched tv listened to music ect. when the internet came around it was just a brand new tool for people like us to use to communicate with the outside world and find other people like us.

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5d3fe7 No.5277

>>5260

I'm only 25 but I often think about what my life will be like in another 10+ years. I wonder how I will sustain myself, what I will do with my free time, and what the world around me will become.

>I can't imagine what it was like to be a hikki before internet existed.

Hermits and social outcasts have existed since the first civilizations. Back in ancient/medieval/pre-industrial times I imagine they would have just lived in the wilderness, hunting and farming. More recently it's how >>5272 describes it, reading and watching tv/movies and other such activities. Human beings, whether in a group or alone, all find ways to adapt to their given surroundings and circumstances, it's all part of the survival instincts.

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2549f3 No.5279

File: a5d21ca58d2e2fd⋯.png (440 KB,414x414,1:1,qhjey_Kn.png)

>>5277

>I'm only 25 but I often think about what my life will be like in another 10+ years.

Same here also i am 25 as well.

>I wonder how I will sustain myself, what I will do with my free time, and what the world around me will become.

I think about this all the time i always question whether or not i would be able to succeed in the outside world and live a normal life out in society or if i would continue to live like this for another 10 + years maybe even more.

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e1ec2c No.5280

>>5277

>>5277

>Hermits and social outcasts have existed since the first civilizations.

Let me ask you this though, don't you think isolation has changed with the internet? Hikkis back in the 1980s vs. Hikkis now, there must be a big difference in how we live vs. how they lived. I dunno. it makes me wonder about what the internet has done

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2549f3 No.5281

File: 536859e925b7963⋯.jpg (37.02 KB,600x450,4:3,yHpsPgB.jpg)

>>5280

>Let me ask you this though, don't you think isolation has changed with the internet? Hikkis back in the 1980s vs. Hikkis now, there must be a big difference in how we live vs. how they lived. I dunno. it makes me wonder about what the internet has done

Before the internet hikkis for the most part really had no way to communicate with the outside world and then when the internet was invented that changed. The internet also gave birth to a new different kind of reclusive person in the west the internet addicted basement dweller people who live with their parents and are socially withdrawn due to internet addiction.

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ec1922 No.5522

I'm in my 30s but i have serious health problems so it's not like I have much of a choice in my hikki status. Nothing much has changed but I still wish I was doing more with my life than I am.

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a2759f No.5524

>>5522

>i have serious health problems

Like what?.

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dfb8de No.5525

I fear i will be one of these hikkis that are 30+ and completely isolated.

I've been a hikki since i dropped out of school since 2011. 25 now. I'm basically fucked. I have no idea how i will get money. My only option at this point is to get on government assistance or kms. 25, never drove a car, never had a job, haven't communicated with others for so long that I'm starting to see a generation gab in mentality of people. Stuck in an infinite loop of thinking about negative bullshit.

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ec1922 No.5527

>>5524

Chronic illness that causes severe pain if I do too much activity.

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a2759f No.5540

>>5527

>Chronic illness that causes severe pain if I do too much activity.

That sounds a lot like a lack of motivation to be honest.

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a2759f No.5543

File: ea7b50dceea897b⋯.png (33.62 KB,500x499,500:499,sad pepe.png)

>>5525

>I fear i will be one of these hikkis that are 30+ and completely isolated.

Same here i'm 24 almost 25 and i have 5 years until i turn 30 i want to remain a hikki while at the same time i don't and i know how you feel anon i'm also scared of the future and what would happen to me once i hit my 30s or even 40s.

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2e2643 No.5586

>>5525

Can i ask what country you live in? This word hikikomori is Japanese but it seems like many people here are from all over the world.

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ec3ddc No.5590

>>5260

I'm 25. Will be a wizard in 5 years.

>The media attention on us hikikomori has escalated dramatically in the last 20 or so years

They should care less about that, less about being judgemental and more about understanding sensory overload, because I think that's the most common cause. I believe most hikikomoris are on the spectrum, at least a little bit autistic, and that symptom in particular is the biggest reason why I can't live in this society. Every other reason is connected to that. My brain isn't wired for modern life, so the stress eventually got to me. I assume a lot of you are similar. As things get worse, the levels of stress will go over what more and more people can tolerate.

>>5525

I am 25 and dropped out of college in 2011. I have a driver's license, but because of my mental condition, driving is a very dangerous thing for me to do. It stresses me out, I get lost in my own negative thoughts, lose focus completely and then I fuck up. I had an accident on my first time driving to school in 2011, and that situation wasn't very good for my mind. I was forced to drive after that, by my family, and have been in that situation many times. Of course, this is all in the past, since I don't leave the house anymore. I don't want to drive ever again, it's not for me. I refuse to do it. Walking in healthier anyway, and I do exercise in my room, so I can run as well, if I have to go to places, at some point.

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a2759f No.5598

File: 20cc23f1e1ab362⋯.gif (1.13 MB,500x349,500:349,69372a83eff415f03a2f70c277….gif)

>>5590

>I'm 25. Will be a wizard in 5 years.

Same here.

>They should care less about that, less about being judgemental and more about understanding sensory overload, because I think that's the most common cause. I believe most hikikomoris are on the spectrum, at least a little bit autistic, and that symptom in particular is the biggest reason why I can't live in this society.

This is very true i think the Japanese ministry of health labor and welfare has actually compared hikikomori to the extreme social withdrawal seen by people on the autism spectrum in the wes so it makes sense to say that a decent majority of hikikomori are actually on the autism spectrum which is one of the reasons why we can't adapt to societal standards and fit in society sensory overload, is a problem and it gets to the point where work or school and even responsibility to an extent become too much for an individual to handle so they lock themselves away. And as i have said before as well i can also sympathize with the young people of this generation who are becoming Neets because they can't handle the stress of work or school and they are also starting to realize that the system that we have put in place is broken.

>My brain isn't wired for modern life, so the stress eventually got to me. I assume a lot of you are similar. As things get worse, the levels of stress will go over what more and more people can tolerate.

Can relate you can only take so much that you eventually reach your breaking point.

>I do exercise in my room, so I can run as well, if I have to go to places, at some point.

Same here.

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ec3ddc No.5606

>>5598

It's good that you understand it. I legitimately think that this is the main reason why we are in this situation. It's the one thing that seems to explain everything. The other cause is that normalfags refuse to analyze and understand things properly. Anyone that knows a decent amount about autism should see the obvious correlation there. Living like a normal person is incredibly stressful for us because we're not normal. Our brains are physically different from normal brains. Before college, I could get away with avoiding things that I didn't like and doing things my way a lot of the time (it was still horrible, since I didn't get the special education that I needed, but it clearly was more tolerable, since I actually finished it, regardless of how miserable it was), but after that, everything bad became impossible to avoid and quickly destroyed me. I dropped out of college after a little more than two months, and it was difficult to even last that long.

I wrote a detailed list of my symptoms, and it was three pages long. I am definitely on the spectrum. After a long period of denial, family issues and mental preparation, I'm going to see a therapist so I can get diagnosed. And that's terrible, because knowing that I have to leave the house (and leaving my routine in general, but especially leaving the house) makes me unable to sleep until I have already done it and recovered from it, but I have to do it because I want to know what kind of resources are available for someone like me. Trying to sleep with any kind of plan like that makes me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. It always takes two or three hours of torture, no matter how tired I am (that sometimes gets to the point that I start punching my own face because I want to knock myself out), and I still wake up all the time after that. Being sleep deprived makes me depressed and suicidal, so I really worry about sleeping well, so you can see how hard it is for me to do anything at all other than continuing to be a hikikomori. Talking to a stranger should be easier if I have the list with me. My communication skills are actually very good (even if I sound extremely different from normal people), but when I talk to strangers, all of that seems to disappear, because it's not natural, it's something that I had to learn and master in my own mind, and can only use in comfortable situations. Everything that I do has to be perfectly planned and organized to an insane level of detail, but even that doesn't get rid of my anxiety. I can be happy in my routine, but trying to leave it is hell. Anything that I attempt seems to damage me so much that I need a month or two to fully recover from my meltdown. It's terrible.

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a2759f No.5609

File: 3dc9def7e0a8e1b⋯.jpg (76.84 KB,671x509,671:509,hiki.jpg)

>>5606

>I legitimately think that this is the main reason why we are in this situation. It's the one thing that seems to explain everything

Exactly i'm technically not the only hikikomori in my family my stepbrother is going through the same thing right now he's in the first stage of hikikomori skipping school avoiding social situations not opening up to the family about his problems and bottling himself up and spending all his time in his room and staying up late at night. I don't know if my stepbrother is autistic although he does display some autistic characteristics and he has mentioned that one of the reasons he ended up like this is because he's upset over his parents divorcing i do feel bad for him tbh and i don't want him to end up like me.

>Living like a normal person is incredibly stressful for us because we're not normal. Our brains are physically different from normal brains.

True.

>I'm going to see a therapist so I can get diagnosed. And that's terrible, because knowing that I have to leave the house (and leaving my routine in general, but especially leaving the house).

I was seeing a therapist but than i stopped going because i felt like he didn't understand me plus he for some reason stopped going into work and disappeared the guy was 73 years old so i think he ether retired or died.

>Being sleep deprived makes me depressed and suicidal, so I really worry about sleeping well, so you can see how hard it is for me to do anything at all other than continuing to be a hikikomori.

This is how i feel for the past few weeks i've felt very depressed because i've been sleep deprived going to bed at 7 am and sleeping until 8 pm i just waste a entire day sleeping and the other night i slept in my closet and cried i'm very scared of the future and what will happen to me in like 10 20 years from now if i am still living like this or somehow breakout of it.

>The other cause is that normalfags refuse to analyze and understand things properly. Anyone that knows a decent amount about autism should see the obvious correlation there.

This is a huge problem when i first started shutting myself away my parents thought it was just a phase that i would eventually grow out of and my dad thought the internet was to blame. Back when i lived with my parents i tried explaining to them more then once that the internet isn't the reason i'm withdrawn and that i just use it as form of escapism and a communication tool but they didn't wanna listen so they would try to force me out of my room by forcing me to go to school and social events or by taking the internet away sometimes it worked but for the most part it didn't because i still had other sources of entertainment in my room like video games and tv and i would always get violent with my parents when they refused to listen to me. The same thing is happening to my stepbrother now my dad still thinks it's internet addiction and he thinks by putting a time limit on how much time my stepbrother can spend on the computer he will eventually come out when that's not the case internet addiction and Hikikomori are two different kinds of social withdrawal and it both pisses me off and makes me sad that they are not even acknowledging my way of life and realizing that there is a problem they have complained about my behavior in the past but at the same time they continue to enable it so i get two different conflicting messages from them.

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ec3ddc No.5610

File: f77b5632282db29⋯.png (170.4 KB,508x386,254:193,235.png)

>>5609

I hope I get lucky and my first therapist understands it. I am going there with the specific goal of showing that I am obviously autistic, so maybe it won't be too bad. Seems to be mostly a luck thing, from what I hear, and you just gotta find the right therapist. And about taking things away, I know that it doesn't work because I didn't have anything to do for much of my childhood since I had a limited supply of games and I wasn't allowed to use the computer all day every day (though I used it more and more over time, from barely using it at all in the 90s, to using it quite a bit when I was 8, to using it all goddamn day in 2003 and later). I couldn't use the internet as much as I wanted in the early days, so I spent the vast majority of my time sitting in my room lost in my own imagination. That's still what I do when I'm not doing something else. I had a more limited supply of games as well. Got a GBC when I was 6 and spent many thousands of hours on that and then many thousands of hours on my PS1 that I got two years later, but even then I still spent a lot of time lost in my own mind, since I didn't always feel like playing the games that I already had played so much.

And about your brother, if there is something to diagnose there, I assume that it would be helpful to do it sooner than later. If you can confirm that he's on the spectrum, maybe you can try to explain how it works to your parents. It's kinda hard, though. I have an entire family of dumbasses and I realize that about as early as it was possible to, so I know what trying to explain things to people is like. I guess you can feel better knowing that at the very least, if this happens to your brother as well, he will know that he's not the first and only one to end up like that. In my case, there's nothing like it in my family. They are all fucked up, but not autistic, and they are all extroverted, so none of them gave a shit about trying to understand me, they judged me and/or abused me, from the day I was born. It's not nearly as bad now that I understand my own situation, but as a kid it was a nightmare. I didn't know what the hell was going on, in any situation, because nothing made sense to me. A 5 or 6 year old shouldn't be thinking about suicide, but I was doing it. I'm pretty lucky to be alive, really, considering that I had no one to connect to for so long. When I look at my past, I see a recipe for disaster. I guess I have done a pretty damn good job raising myself after all.

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dfb8de No.5615

>>5586

I live in USA. East coast. I don't know how many other hikkis are around here.

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4dda39 No.5617

>>5606

stress is probably the right guess.

We are just people with low stress resistence and modern life gets more and more stressful by the day.

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ec3ddc No.5620

File: 81a3c749a8c19bb⋯.png (46.48 KB,378x588,9:14,9928e5e3d1598df4dd5168c4c3….png)

>>5617

Autism increases the amount of stress that most normal activities cause, so if that's your condition, it's only natural that you will be one of the first people to not be able to cope with life. You can't take as much stress as most people, and many things will cause you more stress than they would to a normal person. I actually talked to the therapist for the first time ever yesterday (and will talk to my family next week, since they won't understand me no matter what I say, but they might if an actual professional explains the situation and what my limitations are), and she actually confirmed that exact point, so it seems like my reasoning was correct, and that I do have a proper understanding of sensory overload.

The modern world is terrible, and we are more vulnerable to all of its bullshit. Normal people are also terrible, so they only make things worse with their lack of understanding. I was a sleep-deprived mess, so my list of symptoms really helped me talk about it until I got used to the situation. Actually understanding myself helped quite a bit. She said that I am completely right, and that I'm definitely on the spectrum. It was very easy to diagnose since I recognized everything myself and wrote it down. Now I can say for sure that it's the reason why I am the way I am. It's not just self-diagnosis. In fact, my analytical mind, my ability to recognize my own symptoms, my ability to find out how other people function, the list itself and the fact that I planned the entire interaction before it happened, all of those things were themselves signs of being on the spectrum. She seems to think that I raised myself pretty well, all things considered. Over time, by observing and analyzing every interaction, I learned how society works and how normal people function, and that allowed me to hide part of my symptoms at least from my family. Learned quite a bit from being treated like shit by everyone. I guess I was lucky, since many people never get to the point that they actually at least understand how these things function. Still, I mostly learned that people are irrational and their behavior makes no logical sense a lot of the time. At least I'm prepared for most of their nonsense, since I can see it coming.

Anyway, if you think about, everyone is pretty screwed. Even normal people are eating antidepressants like popcorn nowadays just to survive (and some just replace it with the correct type of weed for the situation, if it's legal where they live (not in my case), and I assume that's at least healthier than the pharmaceutical solution, since at least it's a natural thing) . These medications are actually artificially preventing the collapse of society, to an extent (and none of the people taking them are mentally healthy at all, and I assume that the consequences are still there, growing, but repressed by the medication). I actually got lucky, because my first therapist was actually a good one. It could easily have been some idiot that just screamed at me and then drugged me, but it wasn't. I want to avoid these substances entirely. Even if I'm forced to stop being a hikikomori, I still don't want anything to do with those things. The ideal solution would be to find some way to continue to live in a way that's compatible with my brain. Autism isn't a mental illness, so I don't think taking these substances and possibly damaging myself would be justified. My brain is physically different from other brains, but it's not damaged. I just have to live in a way that it can handle. As long as I can do that, I can feel pretty good about myself. The most difficult thing for me is that I don't feel much of a need to become self-sufficient, because my survival isn't threatened at all right now. I can logically justify not doing anything, very easily.

Anyway, I think you should try to understand yourself and find out what is going on in your head, and then you can maybe talk to a professional (or many, if you don't get a good one on your first try). Getting diagnosed can be useful. Maybe you will have access to resources that can help you, but mostly it's good to know for sure what is causing your issues, and the therapist can explain everything to your family if they don't listed to you.

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31e5d8 No.5682

>>5620

>Normal people are also terrible

That's not my experience.

The problem is always been myself, not other people. I've always found respectful and kind people when I ventured outside. It's just that I can't fit in and can't find any purpose in the outside world so I went back inside again.

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ec3ddc No.5686

>>5682

(this post isn't meant to sound as depressing as it probably does)

Sure, some people are nice and won't treat you like shit for being different (or even for no reason), and these people are generally living in their own world for the most part as well and are completely oblivious to how fucked everything around them is until it happens to affect them directly. But many people that seem nice actually aren't once you get to talk to them, and ultimately, even the good ones can be difficult to interact with since their minds function nothing like mine, so it's almost like interacting with aliens. The majority of people would instantly dismiss your issues. They have no intent of understanding why someone would end up in your situation, and how nightmarish the society that they created actually is, and ultimately, all of the world's issues are inherently caused by the majority and they are getting what they deserve for causing it, or for their lack of perception and logic. Then again, if they could see that their behavior makes no sense, then they wouldn't be doing it.

In my life, having a brain that was physically different from other people's, from birth, other people have mostly been destructive forces that I rationally wanted to avoid but couldn't a lot of the time. It always felt like living with a different species entirely. The adults always knew that I was having issues, and that I was being mistreated, but nothing was ever explained to me and I was never protected in any way, they just attacked me. I just solved things myself like I was expected to (the issues with other kids being solved with violence, and I was actually praised every time for it by people that knew what was going on but never did shit), despite having no understanding of my own situation and of how society works, since building these things from scratch applying rational thought to my observations took a lot of time. Now that I can avoid them, I do, but it's clear to see that no matter what kind of life I live in the future, it will always be disrupted and attacked by normalfag cancer, so I'll always have to defend myself from it. In fact, this board in particular is better than others because they aren't and can't be here to say the things that they say. Stupid and evil is the default state of the human mind, so I have very little respect for the average person. I have no intention of interacting with people that aren't different from the norm, at this point, and I hope the species doesn't last too long, because I don't want to end up existing in this world again. Someone like me could be born again, and this is not the right world for it.

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9850cc No.5690

>>5272

> The first generation of hikikomori in Japan started in the 70s and 80s a decent size of them still remain isolated in their rooms to this very day they are in their 40s and 50s now.

It's 2018 so its more like 70s-80s by that math and logic assuming they start around age 20 on average, tho in Japan a lot of older people drop out of society too. Even if the average ones back then started at age 10 the first gens would be in their 60s and 70s.

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a2759f No.5692

File: 241f7c9e36f1ec7⋯.gif (1008.73 KB,499x294,499:294,1509952357066.gif)

>>5610

>And about taking things away, I know that it doesn't work because I didn't have anything to do for much of my childhood since I had a limited supply of games and I wasn't allowed to use the computer all day every day (though I used it more and more over time, from barely using it at all in the 90s, to using it quite a bit when I was 8, to using it all goddamn day in 2003 and later). I couldn't use the internet as much as I wanted in the early days, so I spent the vast majority of my time sitting in my room lost in my own imagination

I did this as well i didn't use the internet much at all when i was a kid because back then it was so shitty i mostly would watch tv or spend time in my room lost in my own imagination. You know it's kinda funny as a small child i used to be very hypersocial and very outgoing and i had very many friends but all that changed when i entered into my adolescence.

>And about your brother, if there is something to diagnose there, I assume that it would be helpful to do it sooner than later. If you can confirm that he's on the spectrum, maybe you can try to explain how it works to your parents.

That's true although i feel like they still won't listen to me because i've tried to explain to them many times as to why i would get violent with them and that the internet isn't the reason i'm withdrawn and that i just use it as a form of escapism and a communication tool. They are doing the same thing with my stepbrother now i called my dad on the phone and tried to explain to him what hikikomori is and that my stepbrother is suffering with the syndrome i even recommended my dad to read the book hikikomori adolescence without end by Tamaki Saitō but he refuses to and thinks that it's all made up which pissess me off to be honest.

>I . didn't know what the hell was going on, in any situation, because nothing made sense to me. A 5 or 6 year old shouldn't be thinking about suicide, but I was doing it. I'm pretty lucky to be alive, really, considering that I had no one to connect to for so long. When I look at my past, I see a recipe for disaster. I guess I have done a pretty damn good job raising myself after all.

Glad to hear that you were able to pull yourself out of that anon.

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ec3ddc No.5697

File: 162eee732c885bd⋯.jpg (298.57 KB,640x960,2:3,spaghetti.jpg)

>>5692

I know very well how it's like to deal with people that just refuse to listen. If they weren't like that, maybe I could have been diagnosed much earlier and my life could have been better. Talked to the therapist a while ago (using a list of symptoms that I wrote, so I could say everything more easily, quickly and efficiently), and my autism was actually really obvious after all, so it was immediately confirmed. Now the therapist will talk to my family in like, ten days, and that's the next thing I'm waiting for. That was one reason why I went there in the first place. If people don't give enough of a shit to listen to me directly and try to understand what I have to say, and maybe even research the subject at least a little, they can just go and talk to a professional that can do the job for me. Talking about my issues takes a lot of emotional and mental effort on my part, since it goes against my nature in the first place, so I decided to stop wasting time and to just let the professional handle it.

There are things that I simply can't do, and they have to accept that. It's not actually a mental illness since there are a lot of benefits, though those benefits may cause issues as well (one example being that my mind is obsessed with things making sense and being efficient, so I end up not following social norms that don't make logical sense, and a lot of them don't, at all, and following those stresses me out because of how dumb I feel when I do), and it wouldn't have been an issue in the past, in a healthier, smaller society, but my brain is different, so I can't handle as much stress as a normal person can in this diseased society (that even a lot of normal people need medication to be able to survive in, and that may have already collapsed at this point if it wasn't for antidepressants and other drugs).

I am practically disabled even concerning a few things that I can do, but not safely. Like, I can drive, but it's a dangerous thing for me to do because of the sensory overload (and when I get really stressed, I get lost in my own mind and don't even see what I'm doing), so they shouldn't force me to do it, especially considering how many accidents I caused (and almost caused one that could have hurt me pretty bad, that actually made me refuse to drive since then), and how depressed those situations made me. Working is difficult, because there are very few jobs that I can handle, since they have to meet quite a lot of conditions, so they can't expect me to go back to college (possibly the worst environment for me) and become an engineer or whatever. I kinda have to be poor, actually, but I don't mind as long as I can be mentally healthy. Hopefully my plan will work and they will understand at least a little bit how hard it actually is for me to stop being a hikikomori, and that I will simply never be truly normal. They want me to be a rich normalfag that blows money on dumb shit, but that will never happen. Even if I made a lot of money, I wouldn't spend it anyway since I am naturally obsessed with efficiency. Socially, I can't interact with more than one person at once that much either, and if I'm not used to the other person, even that takes quite a bit of effort on my part, and even if it is the case, if it's not a guy like me (I can't stand women, they annoy the shit out of me and their voices tend to really irritate my senses), it still won't be pleasant for me. The best they can hope for is for me to be able to work at all, and still live a pleasant life (and I don't need much in order to be able to do that).

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35b01d No.5702

File: ca1ea6f4302d59c⋯.png (272.66 KB,850x440,85:44,ClipboardImage.png)

>>5697

>I know very well how it's like to deal with people that just refuse to listen. If they weren't like that, maybe I could have been diagnosed much earlier and my life could have been better. Talked to the therapist a while ago (using a list of symptoms that I wrote, so I could say everything more easily, quickly and efficiently), and my autism was actually really obvious after all, so it was immediately confirmed. Now the therapist will talk to my family in like, ten days, and that's the next thing I'm waiting for. That was one reason why I went there in the first place. If people don't give enough of a shit to listen to me directly and try to understand what I have to say, and maybe even research the subject at least a little, they can just go and talk to a professional that can do the job for me. Talking about my issues takes a lot of emotional and mental effort on my part, since it goes against my nature in the first place, so I decided to stop wasting time and to just let the professional handle it.

I understand that very well. my parents don't listen to my problems either and they don't even have enough time to sit with me, not that I want them to do so anyway. by they're pushing me towards success and getting my life back on track again, they want me to join a university, even though they know I can't handle it.

I'm overly autistic, have sever social anxiety and depression, but they want me to go to a university nonetheless. I've tried so much to explain to them how is it like for me to not being able to function properly in the real world but they never understood me quite well.

So lately they've took me to a psychiatrist and he explained to them how is it hard to me to join society again, and that they don't have to pull me out of my room by force, nevertheless the medications didn't work as they expect and they started forcing me to get out of my room again.

They make me think about suicide alot and actually I've tried to do it once in my room but I failed.

> Hopefully my plan will work and they will understand at least a little bit how hard it actually is for me to stop being a hikikomori,

I hope it will work out for you man and you won't end up like me

> and that I will simply never be truly normal. They want me to be a rich normalfag that blows money on dumb shit, but that will never happen. Even if I made a lot of money, I wouldn't spend it anyway since I am naturally obsessed with efficiency. Socially, I can't interact with more than one person at once that much either, and if I'm not used to the other person, even that takes quite a bit of effort on my part, and even if it is the case, if it's not a guy like me

I know how is it like when your parents force you to be a normal person who dumb money on the latest iphone, and have a new model car. while all you want is to live a simple life and be able to support yourself in your small world. but even that takes alot of energy for people like us, we simply can't work in a job constantly until we retire and I have no idea how the 'normals' are able to do that, if I get a job I will get fired instantly and retreat to my room again because I can't handle talking to people especially strangers, I can only talk to my parents. and I encounter problems while trying to talk to my siblings too. so I can't get a job and function normally as they want me to do. they think I've failed them but I never asked for money or fancy things, I live a very simple life in my room. and I don't even by video games or books or anything. I have little to too few clothes and I don't ask for much. I'm happy living like that (aside from the crippling loneliness and depression) and I don't want the latest car or the latest brand new phone

but they don't understand that. they will push you towards the normal life, they will tell you go to the college once you go there, they will ask you to make friends. and then they will tell you hey anon now you've friends why don't you find a nice roastie and have a good relationship with her. once you're in a relationship now you've to reproduce and make babies so that your parents can play with them.

I didn't ask for that shit I just want a simple life away from all this sick society

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ec3ddc No.5703

File: bf7da87a355d9d7⋯.jpg (3.05 MB,1800x1322,900:661,Jean-Léon_Gérôme_-_Diogene….jpg)

>>5702

Our situation looks pretty similar. Normal people tend to have a ridiculously narrow perspective, since they have no curiosity and never try to think of anything that doesn't conform to their norms. Never thinking about anything in general because the average intelligence is actually pretty low. The way that they are explains pretty well how the world can get so bad (in all of history, it's just one huge cycle of people that are different being persecuted by the people in their own society, the witch hunt has always been a thing) and they don't even notice anything wrong. Not being like them is a lot like being an alien in a human body. Someone has to explain and force them to understand how our brains work, and explain in a way that even a retard could understand, so maybe they can maybe kinda reluctantly accept that we're different, since you can never expect perfect results from these people. It's probably easier if they think of us as aliens.

Anyway, I don't intend to give up. Despite all that, I have way too much fun to just die, despite being arguably the most pessimistic human to ever live (not even getting into it, or it will be a huge rant about how much of a failure life on this planet actually is, and definitely a rant about how having children is one of the most immoral things you can do today, no matter the excuse). Even analyzing humanity and discovering the depths of its insane behavior is fun and rewarding to some extent. I think I can handle a job, but it has to be something mindless and repetitive or basically nothing to do, without a whole lot of people around, and there are a few jobs like that. Nothing that would require college, for sure. Money doesn't matter because of the efficiency thing. You need very little to live. You can be the modern Diogenes. You can reach autism nirvana and become Asperger's Buddha if you want to. Hell, I would like to live near a recycling center eventually so I can just get things that I want for free, even if I have to fix a lot of them (and I won't want new technology very much at all, since it will all be Orwellian garbage, because of the IoT insanity that will turn everything into phones (that I refuse to own, and if forced to own one, it will have to be something that guarantees my privacy, running on free software that can be verified and confirmed to be safe, not connected to the internet or anything else at all), and none of it will last very long either). Normalfags are so wasteful that you can live like a king even if you barely have any resources, as long as you are an ascetic and you have the intelligence and curiosity to just figure out how to get what you want, you can be the Garbage King, and you can have a lot of fun working on things, trying to improve your own live using only your skills. I don't mind being the Neoplatonist version of a Buddhist monk, and keeping all the entertainment that I already enjoy as well, on top of that. Sounds like a perfect life to me.

(the post was too long, part 2 ahead)

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ec3ddc No.5704

File: ce258e303e5393f⋯.jpg (388.16 KB,800x690,80:69,6434.jpg)

>>5702

>>5703

Eating can be really cheap as well if you eat simple (if it requires a (complicated) recipe, it's generally a waste of time, and it's probably not as good for you) and healthy food (and drink water and milk, none of those disgusting addictive sodas that make you fat and sick, and you can even make your own alcohol if you have enough self-control to drink the same acceptable amount (that will never give you a hangover in your life) forever and never build your resistance), and you don't have to do it as much as people think. Eat to live, not the opposite, for the most part. I only do it once a day anyway, and it's still way more than enough. Our bodies are made specifically to be able to endure considerable amounts of scarcity, and once you get your addictions out of your system, it becomes really clear just how efficient the human body can be if it's properly trained and fueled correctly with the natural products that it was made to consume (most of which are really cheap, with the biggest exception being meat, but you don't need a massive amount of it, especially to eat with other things, so you can just eat a lot of eggs and vegetables, cheap stuff). Basically, you only need somewhere to live and electricity (mostly for fun things). Cars are generally unnecessary as well. Not like you're going anywhere anyway, and running is good for your health regardless. Clothes aren't an issue. I have been using the same clothes for more than a decade and I have a full closet of clothes that I have never even used. Entertainment, except for hardware (that you can get if you save money, and the old stuff tends to be better, so you can get it all used), is generally free. If you think about it, surviving is insanely easy. People that pressure you to do things the normal way are just boring and inefficient consumerist slaves. They could retire very early if they lived like this and saved the rest of their income. It seems like people that know the value of money have no income, and the people that don't are the ones getting all the money, and they never save any of it. It almost sounds like a joke (many people in my family could easily have many millions in the bank if they weren't complete idiots, but they always find a way to be in debt no matter how much they make).

If I get a job (night shift security seems to be the best option for now, probably guarding the local supermarket while it's closed or whatever, or maybe just dragging heavy shit around, since I don't mind physical labor as long as it doesn't involve other people very much, because it won't cause me mental stress and anxiety, and it definitely can be enjoyable), I will still try to continue to live here so I can save more money. I don't want any debts, so I have been saving allowance money for an apartment since I was a kid (and people have always complained that I don't spend it). If I save everything for a few years, even with very low income, I should have enough money for that way before I truly need it.

Goddamn, I am one hell of a compulsive writer. Could the autism be causing this as well?

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f475a1 No.5705

>>5703

>>5704

That was such an interesting and very well written posts, I admire your skills man

And as you said survival is very easy if you know how to maintain the basic necessitates to survive in this world. as long as you don't spend money like a mindless ape or pay for meaningless products then you're okay and you will be able to maintain a very productive life.

As for the food I eat one meal a day too and it has never been an issue for me it rather makes me comfortable and don't have to spend way too much time on making food.

I live my life like a true hermit who don't care about material things in life, and don't try to impress anyone, and actually it has been very comfortable apparently.

>If I get a job (night shift security seems to be the best option for now, probably guarding the local supermarket while it's closed or whatever, or maybe just dragging heavy shit around, since I don't mind physical labor as long as it doesn't involve other people very much, because it won't cause me mental stress and anxiety, and it definitely can be enjoyable.

That's actually sounds like the best job for a recovering hikkiomori who's being forced to join the normal world again, he will get his family off of his ass as long as he's working at the same time he doesn't have to deal with normals and their bullshit everyday which cause stress and exhaustion, if I ever become at the risk of getting a job that will be my option too until one day I will master up the courage to release myself of this prison so called (life)

>and definitely a rant about how having children is one of the most immoral things you can do today, no matter the excuse

That's why I hate the breeders the amount of evil that comes with a new birth doesn't equal the amount of good in this world, therefore every decision to breed is just an evil decision and based on nothing but retardation, they're pretty ignorant to the point where they're driven by their instincts and they can't make a simple decision as not to breed and bring a hopeless child to this world. they lose they die they suffer yet they're breeding and pooping out children everyday. according to the evidence every 40 seconds someone commits suicide yet they're choose to produce more and more of our species.

We've only done harm to this world and the only way to undo this harm is by going extinct, but they're too retarded to figure that out themselves, they want to slaughter hopeless animals, to drive the latest car and live a hedonistic yet full of misery life.

Anyways, that was an interesting read man thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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ec3ddc No.5707

File: cf7b05a1e062e4c⋯.jpg (51.14 KB,680x383,680:383,fuck.jpg)

>>5705

Warning: I don't even want to post this. I am autism incarnate.

(this post went into many things that I didn't intend to go into, but I'll just keep it as it is, since it allows people to see a little picture of how my mind works and mu thoughts flow, and study it, also why I ended up isolated from humanity, what I mean when I say I get lost in my own mind, and why any issues that I have are multiplied immensely by the fact that I can't stop thinking once my mind gets going)

Glad to help. Part of the reason why I write anything is to help other people find a way of living a good life and find their own ways of developing. Even if I can't do it myself, if someone else can do it that's a little bit of a victory for me, and I think it's guaranteed that it works a certain percentage of the time. In a way, similar people are the same person to some extent. Individuality is always a little bit blurry conceptually, since you are a collection of traits and information that are eternal and not truly exclusive to anything, so I see it as technically helping parts of myself, in a weird way. Every chair is still a chair, and an object that you sit on that can possess a certain spectrum of shapes. Similarly, every consciousness is just a consciousness no matter the body it inhabits, and no matter what ideas it may have, so individuality isn't defined by a consciousness, but by its reunion with the physical world (that contains the elements that compose your body) and the world of ideas (that contains the elements that compose your mind). It's basically a more philosophical spin on reincarnation, and it proves that to help others it to help yourself, and by helping someone that is more like you, you are helping yourself more.

One reason (of many) why I'm against people having children at this point is that it's mathematically possible for someone exactly like me to be born in this exact world (and even for there to be another being almost exactly like myself out there right now), and I wouldn't want that. It's pretty much guaranteed that there is an infinite number of myself or almost myself in other worlds that aren't shit (and all versions of myself would be an infinitely small part of a higher equivalent of myself, mathematically, I assume, like a cube compared to a tesseract, for instance, following the principle that a 3D object is composed of an infinite number of 2D objects), so I see no urgency to preserve this particular world when everything is clearly going in a downwards spiral, possibly towards a world of immortal beings that will torment each other until at least the current form of this universe ends for one reason or another (and it will, because everything has to begin and end in essentially zero or one, which is basically the intersection of all of existence and non-existence, and what a lot of people would call nothing, but with infinite potential, and what you were part of before you were born, with no ties at all to time) no matter what it is), or just robots that work for no reason and don't really feel anything, which is what will probably happen at some point if we aren't wiped out. Having children when you can't make sure that they will be fine no matter how they end up is just an act of creation that perpetuates every problem that this world has. The vast majority of parents are like tiny demiurges, if you think about it. It's disgusting.

As you can see, my mind has been through a lot of shit, being alone all this time. Maybe it's all incomplete philosophy, or madness, or maybe I lifted the veil a little bit and actually understand life, death and the nature of reality to a better than usual extent, and have partial awareness of my multiversal nature. One or the other or a little bit of both, but it seems to be compatible with a lot of ancient ideas and religions, so it can't be too bad. Doesn't matter, because it's fun. In fact, contemplation has actually always been something that allows hermits to be hermits. I believe most of them had similar minds as well.

How the hell did I get here?

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d6d623 No.5709

>>5707

>As you can see, my mind has been through a lot of shit, being alone all this time. Maybe it's all incomplete philosophy, or madness, or maybe I lifted the veil a little bit and actually understand life, death and the nature of reality to a better than usual extent, and have partial awareness of my multiversal nature. One or the other or a little bit of both, but it seems to be compatible with a lot of ancient ideas and religions, so it can't be too bad. Doesn't matter, because it's fun. In fact, contemplation has actually always been something that allows hermits to be hermits. I believe most of them had similar minds as well.

No I don't believe it's madness or incomplete philosophy. I already enjoyed reading your post and in my honest opinion you're one of the most awakened people I've ever met on imageboards. you know the concepts of life and death, figured out that it's all a silly game and that parents are little demiurges. those people who control our whole existence they don't deserve the right of giving birth to someone, they're making a decision without asking the person involved whether he would like to be here or not. of course we can't ask but we can see the world and how it's all fucked so it will be better not to bring the child here.

You're pretty intelligent, and your posts aren't complete madness you go a little bit off-topic but for the most part you're okay and explaining 3 different ideologies in one post not for everyone you must be very smart to do so. in addition to your use of vocabulary they're pretty good and you write in an interesting way

Again, thanks for sharing your ideas with us

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ec3ddc No.5710

File: b130884434ffacc⋯.jpg (242.52 KB,1777x999,1777:999,7643.jpg)

>>5709

All the previous posts were me holding back as I usually do (in order to avoid ruining one of the few good boards in here with seemingly unrelated subjects), but I wrote too many things in a row, so my mind stimulated itself too much, got out of control and then that happened. I tend to scare myself occasionally, so I generally delete posts like that, but it's a little bit relevant here since it's a huge reason why I ended up the way I am, and became hikikomori. My obsession with details and how things are connected takes me to weird places. My tangents literally go outside of the universe sometimes, and that was one of those times for sure. At least the release temporarily makes me stop thinking and stop caring about serious discussions for a little while.

If my autism could be harnessed, America would probably turn it into a bomb like everything else instead of something useful, and it would be disastrous. If Alex Jones doesn't like gay frogs, I would like to see what he would think if they became gay and autistic and every person with a learning disability on the planet become early Chris Chan, because some engineer in the military decided that weaponizing my brain was a good idea. It would probably result in a really good angry screaming compilation webm.

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e81375 No.5711

>>5710

>All the previous posts were me holding back as I usually do (in order to avoid ruining one of the few good boards in here with seemingly unrelated subjects),

That's quite nice of you anon to care about the board

> I tend to scare myself occasionally, so I generally delete posts like that

I don't see anything that should be deleted man it's all in your mind as you mentioned, stop taking things so seriously and maybe you will be alright no guarantee though. as I get lost in my own mind most of the time and become overwhelmed easily.

> My obsession with details and how things are connected takes me to weird places. My tangents literally go outside of the universe sometimes

I know how you feel very well, regardless of my situation. I feel like I'm lost in my own universe and I keep creating things in my own imagination. sometimes these things go outside of the whole cosmos and I imagine myself flying away from all this shit. it's more like a trip even though I'm not on drugs.

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ec3ddc No.5712

File: 3e5b882334cfc51⋯.jpg (78.81 KB,768x1024,3:4,41.jpg)

>>5711

Wish I could just compile things that I say everywhere and print them along with a contextual description of the discussion (so I wouldn't have to show what other people said), and show them to the therapist after they are all gone (after the anonymous ones disappear, and after deleting accounts that they came from so they can't be located), but they are all in English so that's not an option unless I talk to another therapist just for that. I could claim to be uncharted territory in psychology, but not after reading ancient texts written by people that were possibly quite similar (after reaching those ideas myself or reconstructing them from small pieces that I saw somewhere, most of the time), and it's all autism anyway. I might not be just autistic. It might be severe autism, possible crippling, but with no intelligence detriment so it led to this. I guess that's an explanation.

I have never been on drugs in my life except alcohol, since they are all illegal, but what would even happen if someone like me used a hallucinogenic substance? From what I understand, the mental state of the person using them can drastically change the things that they experience, and I feel like my mind drugs itself when it starts doing its thing. Can't even imagine what effect it would have if I added shrooms, or something on that category, on top of that. I only know alcohol makes me relax my mind and stop thinking (and focus better on one thing for a long time), so it's a good rest. It's a little bit of a lame and dangerous drug, though, considering that you can't use it most days or it stops working unless you drink more, leading to escalation, leading to alcoholism (and more expenses if you buy it, but I obviously don't). I can handle it, but the fact that I understand it makes me almost want to tell people not to drink it. Really easy to see it destroying people that aren't as freakish as me, especially if their lives aren't going too well. People take it way too lightly just because it's a slow killer when used incorrectly, and to make things worse they also destroy their livers with sugar and never drink water, so they never have the time to recover. Perfect way to end up with cirrhosis later on. Not fearing for my own life here, but I am afraid of what it can do to other people. The fact that it can help you relax makes it even more dangerous since depressed people want to relax but don't care about this sort of long-term consequence. I am consciously saying this just because it might help someone avoid this issue, and that's productive.

And yes, I do care about the board. I care about every good place that I post (or even lurk) on, since there are so few of them, and the good ones are small and easy to damage (quality and size are almost always inversely proportional). If there aren't many posts, the impact of one damaging post is larger than it would have been on a bigger board that already sucks to begin with, so I have to control myself so I don't cause discussions that are better off not happening. This one has the filter of being a hikikomori board, so normalfags aren't an issue, and they are typically the biggest board killers, but it still matters to me. Speaking of holding back, time to stop before this becomes two posts about the differences between good boards and bad boards.

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31e5d8 No.5911

>>5260

>I am wonder how many hikkis on this board are 30+

1 year to go.

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a2759f No.5946

>>5911

>1 year to go.

Are you 29 anon?

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31e5d8 No.5947

>>5946

Yes.

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a2759f No.5952

File: 7eca1bea83bcde5⋯.png (925.71 KB,1366x768,683:384,Japan hikikomori.png)

>>5947

>Yes.

I am almost 25 and i have 5 years until i hit 30 not sure where my life will be by that time and not sure what i will do if i'm still a hikikomori at age 30.

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add98e No.5957

I'm 38. I'm hikki and a proud. I used to be sad, no friends, no respect, no sex even prosittues say 'not with you, gross". Now I have become peace with situtation.

Sorry for errors, my english is not so good. I am doing my best to learn though.

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a2759f No.5964

File: fb5ad63d8c75edc⋯.gif (1.25 MB,800x450,16:9,tomoko anxiety.gif)

>>5957

>I'm 38

How long have you been a hikikomori? also if longer than 4 years how are you still alive?

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f69003 No.5966

>>5964

Many of us are here in our rooms or apartments because of our problems that keep us indoors. But many of these problems can be made peace with. It is not the problems like autism spectrum or anxiety or other mental illness sometimes it is or sometimes it is actually our unwillingness to accept our differences from society. Hope that the world is not the way that it is can be an unbearable burden. For me, I will be miracle if I have my dream of a family. But if I hate myself for not being able to have a family, then the hate is the problem. I love games that are rpgs, like Mass Effect or Star wars. Also movies. I like to read literature other people have different things. Or they might find other things to enjoy that bring them happines. If I choose to spend my time hating myself for what I am not, then my life will suck worse. I can regret never having my family, but if I don't also have happiness, then that is my fault for not making it happen.

If you have the chemical imbalances that make depression without cause, then that can be made somewhat better at least for most. Healthy diet with low sugar medium protein and high fat can be helpful for those with bipole or schzofrenia spectrum. Avoiding drugs can be a big help for serious symptoms until older age, at least 30. REGULAR exercise even if just a few minute every day is consistent and also helps symptoms. This I know from experience.

Make the bad less as much and the good more or better as mush as you can. Very hard to live life badly if you can do this. So, to answer your question shortly, I forgive myself, make the bad less bad, the good more good. This can be enough. It was most important for me to forgive myself for who I am. Then I can sometimes even feel love for myself.

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f69003 No.5968

>>5964

>>5966

I do not want to say how long exact since I know some people who know me and they know I have told theym about this site. Yes longer than 4 years. much longer total, I had break where I worked to go out and to make a friend or some. This was somewhat successful. I still know some people. Had a relationship, was short. But my symptoms felt better after I had serious outbreak of symptoms mid 20s to 30 (do not want to say) and came back inside. Is important to take care of self and to challenge the mind, also body if one can do this. Also the diet can help autism. I have comorbid disorders with the autism and had a hard time in school. People treated me different than I wanted and felt I deserve. But such is life. When I accept the important thing is to minimize suffering, then I see that I do that first, learn to love myself or at least accept my faults (feels like many faults, still regret sometimes). I find some safety first, maximize safety since that it why I subcomsciously want to be indoors, then I can be my most effective to live the best life I can. I feel like im just surviving sometimes tragedy, but everyone has this sometimes. My life can be good too and even if I don't believe it, then I see things can get better. Is hard still, but it got better with smart self examination and smart life change. Sorry if difficult to read, my english is still in progress.

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ec3ddc No.5972

File: 8f5f47ce06a85eb⋯.webm (6.47 MB,540x360,3:2,Puru Puru Pururin - As He….webm)

>>5964

If you try to live well, take care of yourself and have things to do, you can probably live your entire life like this. Most people just seem to have a hard time throwing their emotions away so they can spend their time on things that they like. With such a huge amount of time, you can do a lot more than what a normal person could do. You have all the time in the world to develop your mind, body and spirit. Spending it on self-loathing is a huge waste. Your life can be way more fun than a normal person's, as long as you try to fix who you are and increase your mental resilience so you don't go insane.

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f69003 No.5973

>>5972

I definitely agree. Though I think to throw away your emotions is not something I totally agree. Though, if to throw away you mean the self hating ones or the ones where you wish you were something you are not, I think those are good to let go. For me, to let go of the impossible hopes was the good, but the realistic hopes where I know I can get there, if I throw away those feelings I am not so motivated to achieve them. And I would not enjoy successes so much. But I mostly agree. Sorry for my english

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ec3ddc No.5974

File: 32923ff076c7a4e⋯.webm (424.85 KB,320x240,4:3,Azumanga Daioh - Yamapika….webm)

>>5973

Well, mostly the bad ones, of course. I just enjoy what I enjoy, and that's all I care about. Controlling your emotions and eliminating wants that you think are needs but aren't, or things that you shouldn't want in the first place, is always a good thing to do. I still don't know if I can say I have hope. Maybe for myself, but not for anything external. I am fully aware that the world is almost complete trash and would be better off not existing, that only very few people out there are worth my time, that very few things deserve my emotional energy, and that humanity was a mistake. You could say that I became so pessimistic that my pessimism is now indistinguishable from optimism, and I can feel pretty decent regardless of how horrendous reality may be. Maybe I have all the hope and none at the same time.

And about the English, just keep using it and it should improve in no time. I learned English by myself (only having access to a dictionary and early translators like the one on AltaVista in the early 2000s), and it just kinda happened over time. First you read a lot and translate whatever you don't understand (that's the most important thing to do), then you write while also trying to use everything that you learned from reading (as you're doing), then you listen, and then you talk if you ever need to. That's how it goes. Also, I haven't simplified my vocabulary not because of ruthlessness, but because that would be condescending, and because I know you can understand it, and it should help you more in the long run if I just speak the way I always do. I'm probably more difficult to understand than most people, since my autism (and perhaps a tiny amount of actual madness) seems to force me to write in a very particular way. I have certain aesthetic obsessions that seem to affect everything I do, and that includes language.

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f69003 No.5975

>>5974

Alright, I will try your advice not to simplify. At least I have stopped using the google translator, lol. I too have a book of english definitions, a thesaurus too. By keeping them handily I can check my writing quicker than to google search them. I was not trying to come off condescending. I hope you did not take offense. It is good that you are benefiting from your efforts to improve your life. Autism is very difficult as I know, and many of us on /hikki/ do. Funnily I now want to still say something at the end of this message, but I don't want to apologize for my english. This is just one of those things.

Actually, I was thinking about how benefitial the internet has been for me and other hikkis. Internet Piracy and online communities seriously help the people who would not otherwise have it. All the movies have been helping me learn english and to talk to others is also important for the process. For being a hikki, they also bring new experiences and enjoyment. They are of a kind you can share with the others who have seen the movie or played the game. Then you can talk about it with others, forging that connection. I think this has been a big help to keep me going when things get hard.

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ec3ddc No.5976

File: 129c164c3dd1479⋯.jpg (59.59 KB,640x480,4:3,8247.jpg)

>>5975

I was saying that I wasn't simplifying my language because that would be condescending. It wasn't an accusation at all.

The internet has always helped, but it is objectively worse than ever. If you have been online since at least the early 2000s, you probably have at least some awareness of how depressing the current state of the internet is. I have been on the internet since I was 5, in the late 90s, and honestly, it just hasn't been the same since the masses invaded it. Very few good places left to visit, all of them with some kind of filter that prevents normalfags from having any presence. Funnily enough, a lot of the entertainment that I still get from the internet comes from finding people's old websites, that are miraculously still up, and reading them now. Archives as well, of course.

I am already reasonably prepared to abandon the internet entirely once it becomes completely unusable and no longer fulfills its purpose of allowing the free exchange of information (including communication, media and software in general). I have been hoarding as much fun stuff (like books, games, anime, music and software that I can play with in the future) as I can as well. At some point I will probably have to use only old hardware and stay completely offline, but I will escape the all-seeing eye of Stalin no matter how much I have to sacrifice.

It probably won't be so difficult, considering that I lost almost everything already. I also have a massive amount of interests, and I can always work on electronics, on making things, and on developing my own software, so I will never be bored no matter what. So many potential hobbies that there isn't much of a reason to worry about boredom. Not having people to talk to will be the biggest issue. Hopefully an alternative will already exist when the internet finally dies (at least from my perspective), but even if it doesn't, I don't intend to just accept defeat, even if I have to basically become Richard Stallman. Fortunately, nothing can take away my knowledge and my skills, and nothing can force me to stop being who I am. As long as that is the case, I guess I will be fine.

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31e5d8 No.5977

>>5957

>no sex even prosittues say 'not with you, gross".

Really? I'm sorry.

>>5952

>not sure what i will do if i'm still a hikikomori at age 30

How are you surviving right now? If your parents let you live with them then when you will be 30 nothing much will change.

My parents are not kicking me out any time soon, I could easily made it to 40 or more if I want. The problems are depression and boredom.

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255989 No.5978

>>5977

>really. I'm sorry

It's okay, really. I was mainly joking for it. I once was not a hikki as an adult and travelled to brazil (or another country similar to it) and there the prostitutes were cheap. I bought some fun drugs (as I was older than 30 and the brain stopped growing) and had sex there for very little money. Then I return home, anxious, but I have more hope for the experience. It was enough for a long time. Now I have my projects that I like very much, and I have some income to supplement my lifestyle it with.

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02b4ee No.5981

File: 075e827c7caddf6⋯.jpg (134.49 KB,1024x537,1024:537,degradation of a fanbase∕h….jpg)

>>5976

>I have been on the internet since I was 5, in the late 90s, and honestly, it just hasn't been the same since the masses invaded it. Very few good places left to visit, all of them with some kind of filter that prevents normalfags from having any presence.

I think this is the same thing that motivated frontiersmen. At some point, the place you and your comrades established together starts to decay, and those who still remember the old spirit of the place depart to start anew.

>Hopefully an alternative will already exist when the internet finally dies (at least from my perspective)

Where there's a will, there's a way. My money's on the darknets.

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ec3ddc No.5982

File: 6b80418b14e8941⋯.png (1.54 MB,1280x1442,640:721,6b80418b14e89413764d2ec7bb….png)

>>5981

That's a very common practice. Even in history itself. The Renaissance was a big deal in the arts and in human understanding of the world, but that had nothing to do with the plebs. The masses were against it. Great art has always been seen as demonic by normal people, and that's why they tend to smash statues, like they did in the end of antiquity. Over time, everything was so dumbed down for money and popularity, and humanity degraded itself so much in favor of the masses that now we wouldn't even know that there was a recovery at all.

Everything has always been doomed from the start because eventually the idiots will start coming in and you will have to leave. Unless an activity remains too difficult for the masses to even attempt it, or there is some other kind of filter, you can't expect anything different. Of course, until the normalfags come in, a hobby tends to be considered something that only a loser would want anything to do with, or it will be considered satanic by the mass religion, or maybe people will try to ban it or some other retarded bullshit. Anything challenging, that requires thought, skill and concentration that isn't done for money and attention, normalfags despise and will try to destroy externally, but that doesn't work. The problem is that some traitors always want to change everything to appeal to normalfags, for money and attention, they it inevitably happens internally.

In that kind of situation, you can really see how humanity is divided, how everything considered good about this species belongs to a tiny minority that is always attacked by everyone else. It's safe to say that we are heading basically to a hive mind of mind-controlled humans that will eventually be so interchangeable and lifeless that there will be no detriment in replacing them with very simple machines. I think it's likely that the planet itself will become a superorganism (well, it already is one, more than ever, but I think its consciousness will become more and more solidified over time, and the internet is yet another tool being used to advanced that), with normalfags as its cells, and then very simple robots. Funnily enough, the cycle could still continue. A being like that, if it didn't end up just killing itself somehow, would probably want to replicate itself so that it wouldn't be alone and so that its kind wouldn't be so easily exterminated, with only a single one in existence. It would probably create different versions of itself using other planets, since just cloning itself wouldn't be the best survival strategy, and eventually the same thing would happen to those beings and they would become mindless cells of another superorganism, the galaxy. I don't know, maybe that's how it goes. Our species seems to be a reflection of the principles that led to its formation in the first place, so it's not crazy to think that humanity would become a being that is a reflection of itself and its own history. Of course, people that refuse to join the hive will continue to be attacked no matter what, in the long run. Even if we form our own hive, the masses will come and take it from us. That's why I would rather prevent all of that. I especially don't want to be part of it in.

Yes, I am a weirdo and I have strange ideas. Now you can see why society isn't for me.

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589441 No.5984

>>5982

The cycle of civilizations rise and then fall happens because people get lives that are too easy towards the end and become self destructive and immature. But I do not know that it is because they hate art at all stages.

Nietsche talked about master morality and slave morality. early on as a civilization is just starting to form, the plebs are those who follow the most strong and dominant leaders. The leaders are justified in ruling, because the people need a unifying leader who can judge wisely and dominate the enemies outside the city wall. But eventually, the leaders become caligulas and those who have it easy grow up weaker than the people who work the hard jobs.

Then either manly men macho invaders take over and pillage or enslave OR some plebs take over in a coup. Mostly it is marauders, but sometimes, the empire is too big to be taken over complete, so then some parts do their own thing.

It is bad for society if selfishness leads people to screw things up for everybody else/

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ec3ddc No.5988

File: 17847a94880d449⋯.png (709.01 KB,1920x1080,16:9,634.png)

>>5984

Not as into Nietzsche as I was many years ago. I like Evola a lot more, and what I know about Heidegger and his philosophy of being and of death, as well. Both being critics of Nietzsche, of course, that's why I mention them. But overall, I am definitely a (Neo)Platonist, fundamentally. I think I mentioned that in a previous post. That's what all of my ideas ended up pointing towards, including my ascetic values, and my agreement with the idea that the physical world is just an imperfect shadow of the real world, and just happens to temporarily manifest eternal forms that exist outside of itself, and outside of time. Nietzsche was too focused on the material world (and that is definitely understandable, considering what he was reacting against). I have also realized that glorifying the past too much is a mistake, since the world actually has always been shit and I can't pretend that the things that I appreciate about the past are all that there was, especially considering that most of humanity has always moved towards degradation, and making life miserable for everyone. The greatest minds in history have always been critics of their own civilizations, so I think glorifying their civilizations is not all that rational, even though I may believe that some of them really were overall better than what we have today.

Regardless, even if you keep things on that scale, the plebs always win in the end and the better people out there will always have to run away from that. I don't believe you could ever have a civilization that doesn't see someone like me, or even Nietzsche, as enemies. Essentially, if you're not a dumb animal, society will always be your enemy. Even if you just want to be left alone, good luck with that, it won't be allowed. To me, it doesn't matter whether a civilization is being ruled by the masses or an elite that will inevitably be just another group of idiots, I don't want anything to do with either of them. Isolation, partial or total, is the only solution. As long as I can do that, as long as people can be detached from the fate of the masses, the whole issue is irrelevant. The problem is that we are being cornered.

I don't know if it's even possible to have a good civilization. Maybe if all the normal people disappeared, though even that would be very troublesome, but that's not going to happen. I certainly believe that only small groups of people with no greed and no thirst for power can ever be pleasant to interact with. Overall, civilizations tend to end up the way they do because they are a reflection of humanity and its own flaws. Humanity may be an indicator that life on this planet in general might be a mistake, and could perhaps be incapable of achieving any desirable form of homeostasis at all. Essentially, I am against humanity and I desire its extinction. All of the things that I appreciate in the universe, and about myself, are eternal. If this fucked up species disappears, none of that will be hurt at all, and this cycle will be broken.

Also, I apologize if this post is poorly written. I don't think I expressed myself too well. Not really feeling too inspired right now, unlike in my previous posts. Feeling a little bit incoherent for some reason. Maybe the writer part of me is going back to sleep for another month or two. I feel really weird, hate when this happens. I won't read what I wrote either, or I may end up deleting it.

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4decdc No.5989

>>5988

humans are assholes by nature. Most people lie, cheat, steal, kill if they think they have good enough chance to get away with it. The best cult leaders domesticate people to make the people's lives better in return for the power the plebs give the leader. I will read these reccommendations in your post.

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ec3ddc No.5990

File: 37066ff745d83aa⋯.jpg (90.01 KB,621x480,207:160,65.jpg)

>>5989

>humans are assholes by nature

Exactly, so getting rid of them is the only real, guaranteed, permanent solution, so you don't have to care. Or just having a very small population of weird possibly autistic geniuses that don't even need a government in the first place, but I doubt that will ever happen unless reality suddenly turns into the Universal Century timeline of Mobile Suit Gundam and the Newtypes wipe out all of the old humans. But that's literally reality becoming anime, so it's more likely that it will continue to be bloated. Conveniently, humanity happens to be capable of destroying itself, so the problem could end up solving itself. Overall, all a moral individual has to do in order to avoid making things worse is not reproduce. You are living in a world that is objectively shitty, so don't bring more lives into it for no reason. Other than that, just ride the tiger. It's not like you are contractually obligated to care about your species' survival, and they have clearly doomed themselves to begin with. Not having to care is very convenient, actually. It can keep you from going insane from watching everything not go your way and everything that you support eventually end up turning against you. In politics, you can't succeed without popularity, and popularity can only be achieved if your ideas are stupid to begin with, or just the lies that people want to hear. Basically I just want to be allowed to live in my own world. Just the freedom to be a hermit.

>The best cult leaders domesticate people to make the people's lives better

The problem with doing anything that way is that every institution is eventually degraded as well, and back to misery we go. The fact that something appeals to the masses is generally a pretty bad sign to begin with. I definitely don't want anything to do with politics anymore. I just want to be able to stay away from humanity's problems, and ideally save people from suffering, specifically people that are different and I think can't be blamed for this, the people being attacked. Burning the hive would be productive, but it's not something that I can personally do, so it doesn't matter. Personal freedom and privacy, that's all I care about, politically. Everything else I just gave up on.

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5b073a No.5991

>>5990

>I definitely don't want anything to do with politics anymore. I just want to be able to stay away from humanity's problems.

I gave up on politics too long ago I remember four years ago I was still interested in reading about humanity's problems thinking that the more I read about them the more intellectual I will be. Actually politics is one of the most normalfag activity and only normalfags can be highly interested in it. because it deals with their problems. It has nothing to do with our problems and how we live our life.

>and ideally save people from suffering, specifically people that are different and I think can't be blamed for this

I had this idea in my mind for quite a while but eventually I gave up on it too, I realized that I can't save anyone I can hardly save myself and live in pace. I don't want anyone to disturb my lifestyle so I gave up on humanity and on breeding.

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ec3ddc No.5993

File: c8531fc06629a2f⋯.png (192.73 KB,462x347,462:347,c8531fc06629a2f66c8991c493….png)

>>5991

I am actually not that pessimistic when it comes to that. Well, I know I have helped people in the past, and that a few times people even responded saying that something I said gave them an epiphany that allowed them to suddenly understand something that they didn't understand before, that very few people actually do, and even fewer even attempt to give an explanation for, and only some even succeed in doing that well, so it's not completely wasted effort if you can even call it that, since I just help people by doing what I want to do anyway, which is being insane and testing uncommon ideas and ways of looking at reality.

Being like that is kinda inherently helpful since it allows people to hear new things, and answers for questions that everyone else seems to refuse to answer. I'm the guy that tells you that the egg did indeed come before the chicken, because chickens weren't the first animals to lay eggs, which is obvious as hell, but the adults in my family always insisted (and still do) that answering this question is impossible, even after hearing my answer, and that is a good example of how limited most people actually are, and why you can't expect them to say anything that requires even a tiny amount of thought, and making any argument that isn't completely generic and given to them by someone else. Just being willing to say something different is inherently productive since someone out there may be willing to take that idea into consideration, or to use it somehow, but will never have the opportunity to do so if you don't share it. I suppose even looking stupid in a completely new way is productive, since someone else can learn something new from that, and not repeat your mistake.

I can't make someone stop feeling miserable, but I can tell them how they could do it, and how I do it, and maybe things that I say will eventually lead to some change. If something that I say positively influences someone, then that's a good thing even if I am never informed that it did indeed help. I just assume that occasionally it does, and I also believe that they are similar to me in one way or another or it wouldn't have worked in the first place. It's always safe to assume that something did indeed have value to someone at some point. At least when you are offering something pretty unique and/or that at least improves your own existence. It's not too difficult to come up with an original argument that could legitimately safe someone's life, and even coincidentally save bystanders that just happened to read it and then have a use for it later on, if you already have the material to work with in your own mind. Also, trying to write when you are a sleep deprived mess is a horrible idea, never do that. If you decide to do it anyway, make sure it's short, though that's difficult to do when I am trying to explain my own insanity. I think I have to go pass out now.

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cb88a5 No.7743

32 yo, soon to be 33. Been a hikki on and off for the past 10 years (it began when I was trying my hand at uni, I couldn't stomach to ask a professor to be my advisor. quit soon after without a degree) packed my books, went to my parents's house and spent 2 years without leaving the house. Then they moved a couple of times to smaller and smaller quarters each time. All my belongings excluding a mattress literally fit inside a small hardshell suitcase, which is where I keep my clothing. For electronics I have a Nintendo DSi, and old smartphone my mom gave it to me when she got a new one, a 2005 Dell laptop with Linux Ubuntu (it wouldn't run Windows anymore, too much of a toaster for that), maybe 8 or 9 pieces of clothing, all included, from jacket to socks and the mentioned mattress which I guess I can consider to be my property, maybe. The suitcase is not actually mine but since I use it to keep my stuff for the last many years, I guess that's kind of mine too.

You won't find many older people on ibs, it's a generational thing I guess, many people my age have no idea IBs exist. I have 2 brothers close to my age and they don't even know 4chan exist, which must be strange for younger people but that's how it is.

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1cdd28 No.7752

>>7743

In my point of view knowledge of imageboards was very rare among westerners. Most internet dwelling westerners knew about 4chan but not the others. I was in university from 2005-2009 and all the nerds knew about it but the normies didn't. Even then was viewed as something for the edgelord kids who were into extreme nerd culture like weird Japanese cartoons. It was also associated with extremist internet filth like /b/.

I've been a hikki since graduating so 2019 is my 10th year. I didn't know about imageboards other than 4chan until a few years ago. The phpBB and Invision based forums were my main sites until 2011-2013. When those were dying off, I went to reddit for while. Then I discovered what hikikomori is and found my people.

I'm sure many of us older hikki must have heard of other imageboards by now though. Even mainstream audiences have heard of 4chan thanks to this recent incel bullshit making the news. Maybe some of us are deterred from visiting due to the negative press.

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