/hikki/ - Hikikomori

>>4380

> although I'll likely never release a single one of them.

I think you should anon it would be a decent way to make a little bit of money.

>>4347

>Are you content with being alone?

Unfortunately, no. I've tried my best to dull the desire for closeness but I've been unable to fully kill it off. Most days it hardly bothers me like it used to but there are the rare few where it completely eats me up… but then I remember that I'm not the mostly mentally healthy person and whatever friendship/relationship I could miraculously enter into would only be ruined by my constant depressive state and inability to really open myself up or connect with anyone.

>Do you have any online (friends/)contacts which you occasionally talk to? If not, is it a conscious choice or is it more like you're unable to find someone?

I have no friends at all. Offline or online. I used to have a few I guess but I ended up cutting ties for several reasons. Nowadays though I do my best to avoid forming any kind of connection with people as I feel I'd only affect them negatively, and ultimately, I prefer to be alone. Or, more accurately, I only prefer to engage with others when I'm in the mood for it… which is quite rare.

>What are you all doing against loneliness?

Nothing special really. Just brain-dead activities to help stray away from thinking too much about my life. I'd love to kill myself but I don't think I have it in me right now and plus I care about my family and their well-being, so I stay for them too.

>have you considered killing yourself because of that, to escape this damned cycle?

Yes, but not just because I am alone, though that does play a big factor. I've had an objectively shitty life. I was bulled in school, I've always been poor, I came from an abusive household, and now I'm a mentally ill shut-in with absolutely no motivations or desire to be a part of this world. I just want to die. I don't get enjoyment out of anything and the little I do is just not worth it at all.

>>4384

>inability to really open myself up or connect with anyone.

I have trouble with this too. Aside from not really trusting anyone, I also haven't been able to find anyone I really connect with for a long time.

>I have no friends at all. Offline or online.

You have us, anon. You're always welcome here.

>Nowadays though I do my best to avoid forming any kind of connection with people as I feel I'd only affect them negatively

I know how that feels. I often tend to avoid the people I care about most because I don't want to have a negative impact on their lives.

>>4388

> I'll just leave my email here:

Thanks anon.

>>4389

>We can't face reality anon, we would rather live in an

>imaginary story that we can control; because we can't

>trust the other animals to treat us decently.

This is so true.

>>4391

My Kindergarten teacher taught me basic boxing skills,

because of the fights in the sandbox, the other animals

won't play nice. Today I have 2 blackbelts, self defense

is a life long issue, it never ends. Do you know that all

of the school shootings are White kids? That have been

bullied and marginalized, abused, and tortured until

they snap and beat the shit out of or kill their abusers.

It isn't a mental health issue for those that fought back,

they deserve a metal for bravery and service beyond the

call of duty. The dead people needed mental health treatment,

but no one was paying attention to the right side of the issue.

Professional assassination… is the highest form of public service.

~Chiun

Master of Sinanju / Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinanju_(martial_art)

elder<3

>>4402

>Do you follow robot ideology man??.

What is it I'm not up on it.

She was a good teacher that was 1960.

Here is the wiki for School shootings in the United States.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_shootings_in_the_United_States#2010

>>4405

I don't hurt anyone on purpose, but self defense is necessary sometimes. I don't fight with anyone, I'm nonviolent. I'm a Neodaoist a be-ist, I just be, live and let live. Would you agree that humans are dangerous? Everything is fine until you get around a group of humans and then everything goes to hell. They get you involved in their drama and create problems where none existed before. If I stay by myself there are no problems.

>>4411

>. Would you agree that humans are dangerous? Everything is fine until you get around a group of humans and then everything goes to hell.

I absolutely 100% agree with you.

>>4412

I've read just about everything on this board and 99% of the complaints are Drama based; that is "other peoples drama" is the source of great anxiety for the majority of the people here. So called normal people are dysfunctional and very confused about what reality actually is. And they are constantly projecting their fears and inadequacies onto others in the form of pressure to do something or become something. Have a purpose, and find meaning in this Lunatic Asylum that society has created. And they do this at us even though they can't do it for themselves. These ideas they have are concepts and concepts are imaginary. So their projections are fairytales, they want us to join the fairytale story, so we can be just as sick as they are. They are only happy when everyone is suffering. This is why I hide from the world, it can't be fixed, and you can't help people. Humans can't sit still for 5 minutes, they just end up fighting and killing each other. I'll never have any peace and quiet that way. I'm very happy being alone, I'm happy enough knowing that this is the only way to freedom, liberation from the dream is the only enlightenment you could say. Being completely self sufficient and independent as much as you possibly can. You go out into the world and you can't go 10 feet without bumping into a trouble maker.

elder<3

>Are you content with being alone?

8/10

>Do you have any online (friends/)contacts which you occasionally talk to? If not, is it a conscious choice or is it more like you're unable to find someone?

i have my waifu and discord/imageboard anons.

infj male with autism

>>4492

When you get past suicide, then maybe we can talk and have a meaningful conversation.

>>4493

What is meaningful in your eyes ?

>>4494

Good question. To live you need a source of income. To be happy a source of affection. To have meaning a source of satisfaction. These three things define your life, it's up to you to maintain your sources and direction.

>>4500

>That would be nice, just be careful who you meld with. If you tried it on a normal person, you may become less intelligent and more primal as a result.

I'm an empath, empaths can perceive physical sensitivities and spiritual urges, as well as just knowing the motivations and intentions of other people. You either are an empath or you aren’t. It’s not a trait that is learned. You are always open, so to speak, and I've learned to distance myself from liars. Humans are liars.

If you have a dog, the animals consciousness is raised just being with you, not the other way around. Awareness moves up with added data, for ever increasing detail and higher definition. Every day contains exactly what we need to learn, but we don't always see it that way.

>Are you content with being alone?

I don't think so. But the only thing worst than being alone is being with people.

>Do you have any online (friends/)contacts which you occasionally talk to?

I have a few mmorpg buddies that talk and play games with me. It's not the best, but I've had times without any online friends and it was far worst.

>What are you all doing against loneliness?

The above answers this.

>have you considered killing yourself

everyday. it's an unhealthy obsession. i want the suffering to end but I don't have the courage to pull the trigger.

> just wish my life wouldn't be boring, anime, movies and other things get old very fast because you've seen the best already and at a later point

I've found mixing up the entertainment i consume helps mitigate this. Diversify your entertainment choices. there is a ton of great western tv I'm sure most anime watchers havn't seen, and there is a ton of great anime most western tv watchers haven't seen.

> I probably still would feel dissatisfied… There's just no fun in the world like in fiction.

i recommend a mirror. Does wonders for destroying your ego.

>Are you content with being alone?

Mostly, yes. But I'll crave some interaction every now and then and for that I have an IRC server I'll connect to. An hour or so is all I need to satisfy the urge and I'll go back to wanting to be alone.

>Do you have any online (friends/)contacts which you occasionally talk to?

Just the IRC server I mentioned.

>What are you all doing against loneliness?

It mostly doesn't bother me, and when I do feel lonley it's okay that I feel like that.

>have you considered killing yourself

At one point I did, but then I realized the only reason I was considering it was because I had no meaningful goals in my life. A life without goals is already death. For now my goal is a rather simple one: Finish this book I've had for 3 years.

>There's just no fun in the world like in fiction.

Life isn't about fun.

>>4641

I do this a lot, unconsciously, and I'll catch myself doing it. Sometimes I consciously start it as well. I'll create whole "scenes" in my head and have dialogue going between characters and myself. Sometimes it's just me and another person where I'll say something, then the other says something to go against what I said. It's incredibly helpful when dealing with certain subjects, like philosophy or psychology.

>>4641

>>4643

This, it's like debating with yourself at times. Or useful when thinking of how a person would respond to something you're thinking about that then helps you rethink it at a different angle.

I usually use think of people I have met or consumed a lot of work from too. Like past acquiantances or "internet personalities".

>>4641

Triggered from memories; sometimes we need to hear the arguments out loud again for clarity.

>>4642

>Life isn't about fun.

Dominance, says no fun allowed.

e

>>4642

>Life isn't about fun.

Perhaps, but these days most forms of purpose have lost their meaning in the world and life isn't about much of anything. So you may as well have a bit of fun when the opportunity presents itself.

>Are you content with being alone?

No. I'm used to it, but I don't like it. Part of me has accepted it, but another part of me wants to change. I want to connect with people. In the past, when I had friends, I would look forward to waking up each morning, because I knew I had people to talk and do things with. I miss that so much. There's still things to look forward to, new ep of whatever anime coming out tomorrow, new game release tomorrow, etc. but none of that can compare with the feeling of knowing there are people who are waiting for me. People to talk with, play games with, watch videos with. I miss that.

>Do you have any online (friends/)contacts which you occasionally talk to?

I have one close friend who I talk to very often. He's the only person who I am able to comfortably have a conversation with. I said he was a close friend, but although I speak with him every day, I don't feel very close to him. There's no connection, we are just like this because it's what we're used to, we've been like this for 5 years. We include each other in almost everything we do.

>If not, is it a conscious choice or is it more like you're unable to find someone?

I do have one friend, but I'm going to answer this anyway, as I'm unable to find any other friends. I do often find people I'm interested in being friends with, I try talking to them, but it never works. I don't know how to make friends. Other people usually already have plenty of friends, they aren't looking for new ones.

>What are you all doing against loneliness?

Sometimes I message random people and get their opinions on things, or tell them stories about my day.

Sometimes I immerse myself in fiction, I'll binge watch an anime or kdrama. I like playing otome games.

Sometimes I interact with my mutuals on Twitter and Instagram. They share my interests.

>have you considered killing yourself because of that, to escape this damned cycle?

I've considered it, but I wouldn't go through with it. I still have things I want to do in this life, and I have a mother who I don't want to make sad.

>>5013

Hey, OP here. If you would like I'd talk with you, hopefully you're reading this. Please send me an email if you got interest or reply to my message. I think maybe we could be friends. I often feels sad and lonely. Maybe it will work out and you have a second friend or maybe you like talking with me!

>>4413

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone, " - French philosopher Blaise Pascal

>>4347

i like being alone

i have few online friends

i dont fight loneliness

>>5090

>i like being alone

>I don't fight loneliness

How do you do it anon?? i envy you.

At this point in my life, I do not talk to anyone, however I used to. As it is expected, I lack the social skills to create and preserve any friendship, as meaningless and casual as it might be. Fortunately, there are some persons in this world that do not care about having a friend who cannot fulfill their social needs and can accept someone as me, but such friendships eventually ended for one reason or another. I am also hard to please as I prefer to interact with others who are also socially inept and share some of my weeb interests, and I don't know how to begin searching for someone else like that, chat rooms and image boards seem to only have very social people.

>>5101

My reasons for being suicidal are others. It is true that the extremely empty and repetitive lifestyle can be frustrating, but it is not enough reason to take my life.

>>5102

my reason for beeing suicidal is because there is nothing left for me to do or achieve. What am I supposed to do the next 50 years if I am not interested in relationships nor careers?

>>5106

I preffered to be around socially inept people because they were usually kind and polite to me compared to people who were extroverted. They will also usually not judge you for autistic interests you might have because theirs are often also weird.

When I was around normals I could never talk about anything because I always thought they will think lowly of me when I reveal my loser hobbies and interests.

>>5101

>As it is expected, I lack the social skills to create and preserve any friendship, as meaningless and casual as it might be

Same here. I never know how to maintain friendships. I don't know when to call/text/email a person, or if I should bother at all because I always think to myself "If they really wanted to talk to me, they would probably just contact me themselves instead of waiting for me to contact them. Maybe they don't want to talk to me anymore."

>I prefer to interact with others who are also socially inept and share some of my weeb interests, and I don't know how to begin searching for someone else like that, chat rooms and image boards seem to only have very social people.

I dare say that you've come to the right place. As far as internet users go, I doubt it gets more anti-social than us. Most of us have few or no friends (I have none) and we avoid doing things like joining discords or posting pictures/personal information of ourselves. I can't say that I watch enough anime to qualify as a weeb, but I do enjoy anime and some other Japanese products.

>>5110

>I preffered to be around socially inept people because they were usually kind and polite to me compared to people who were extroverted. They will also usually not judge you for autistic interests you might have because theirs are often also weird.

That's basically how this place operates on a daily basis. We all try to be kind and understanding to one another because we're all hikikomoris and social outcasts, so the discussion is always pretty comfy because we're in a board of like-minded individuals.

>>5113

>I never know how to maintain friendships. I don't know when to call/text/email a person, or if I should bother at all because I always think to myself "If they really wanted to talk to me, they would probably just contact me themselves instead of waiting for me to contact them. Maybe they don't want to talk to me anymore."

I can relate to this all too well and this is probably one of the reasons why i lost all of my irl friends a long time ago i don't care to make new friends to be honest.

>I dare say that you've come to the right place. As far as internet users go, I doubt it gets more anti-social than us. Most of us have few or no friends (I have none) and we avoid doing things like joining discords or posting pictures/personal information of ourselves.

This is true.

>That's basically how this place operates on a daily basis. We all try to be kind and understanding to one another because we're all hikikomoris and social outcasts, so the discussion is always pretty comfy because we're in a board of like-minded individuals.

You got it anon probably one of the most comfiest and friendliest boards ever on 8chan.

>>7301

(cont)

>have you considered killing yourself because of that, to escape this damned cycle?

Boy, have I. Not a day goes by where I don't think of it at least once. I'm very deeply embedded in suicidal ideation and all my most common everyday fantasies are suicide related. I'm too cowardly too kill myself however, as much as I want to, so I'm left just impatiently waiting to somehow die unexpectedly for now. Definitively speaking, I don't want anything out of life. Not friends, not love, nor anything else. I might dream about such things, but I know better than to be foolish enough to wish for them to appear in some form in the aggressive, cesspit of the real world. It's all futile, rotten and of no value and I'd rather just fade back into non-existence.

>Even if I had the perfect live, I probably still would feel dissatisfied… There's just no fun in the world like in fiction.

Exactly. I'd much rather just be rid of it all for good. No matter the circumstance, the world is a deeply hollow & disappointing place that's simply not worth getting invested in. People are ugly, selfish letdowns that will always leave you unfulfilled and vice versa to them. Anything else always leads to dead ends & boredom. My dreams are my only consolation, but even that itself is worthless. Eventually even those dreams would become stale & unwelcoming. I suffer in the absence of poisonous things that aren't worth having, in a wretchedly dull world that isn't worth living on. And it's all quite a predicament, really.

>and at a later point even "hidden gems" my seem boring due to you knowing of a similar scenario already.

I wish I played more "hidden gems", since, in my case, I usually enjoy them. I finished Arx Fatalis for the first time a number of days ago and had a bit of fun with it, as an example. It's just so hard to find the motivation to sit down & play something. Feels like all I can do, or want to do, is lay on the couch napping, or staring at the wall.

>>7301

>>7302

Your post made me tear up, it was very well written. It's probably because I can heavily relate to a lot of your thoughts.

>>4641

Yes I have this too. It's like I'm talking to what I construe is someone off the television or met before. I think it's the lacking of a cognitive distortion that people (the object that another consciousness represents) exists inside you and not inside the body that it came form. All you ever have of anyone is memories. Even when they are dead, what they were even in the moments after you became conscious of their speaking (or other sensory input) is only ever present inside you. Thinking that people live inside their bodies is not a concrete component; it's a leap to think that the consciousness is localized to the thing it's coming out of and not just a parsing process inside of you. Think like a Turing machine: Do you know it's alive because there is a consciousness inside of it or are you just falsely detecting the presence of a consciousness? The machine was never really conscious, you just were tricked and here is where the cognitive distortion lyes.

DSM5.PD.Cluster-A seems to not be exclusionary to 引きこもり、Etiology speaking this is mostly likely a co-morbidity of the 2 conditions. What I suspect is really going on is that your brain is too easily tripping so these sorts of realities are easer to perceive. Original symptomatology described would be indicated by Cluster-A.