I Can't Remember Anything 引きこもり 12/01/17 (Fri) 22:40:10 410e53 No. 2187
It's as if the past ten years never really happened. It's like I've just been sleeping - dreaming through life, and now it's all just a hazy, disjointed memory. I can remember things prior to 2007 with near autistic precision, but everything beyond that is just a sparsely populated void. Nothing to remember, because there's been nothing 'worth remembering - nothing except all of the things I'd rather forget.
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引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 02:09:32 9896c3 No. 2189
This is common among hikki people's. My birthday is this week and i realized that today. Doesn't seem possible that a whole year has gone by. Just doesn't make sense
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引きこもり 12/02/17 (Sat) 04:57:17 f1bb0f No. 2190
>>2189
> My birthday is this week
Happy early birthday fellow hikki.
>>2187
>I can remember things prior to 2007 with near autistic precision, but everything beyond that is just a sparsely populated void. Nothing to remember, because there's been nothing 'worth remembering - nothing except all of the things I'd rather forget.
I know this feel all too well sometimes i think it's still 2014 but then i have to correct myself and realize that it's 2017/2018.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 13:52:41 f5ca01 No. 2225
Oh man me too. It feels like it was just one big fog. I've read that social interaction is one of the things that give us a sense of the passage of time. Could be a possible explanation.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 14:24:14 f1bb0f No. 2226
>>2225
>. It feels like it was just one big fog
I see it more as being frozen in time as being stuck basically in a never ending adolescence is a common thing among people like us.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 16:05:02 16cdaf No. 2227
>>2226
Mentally yeah, but physically I feel the effects of the passage of time. I probably feel older than I am physically due to bad posture and relatively little movement in day to day life, yet mentally I still feel the same about a lot of things as I did before locking myself away from society.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 20:25:11 55156f No. 2230
>there are people waking up from a 10+year coma
>they will wake up to an alien planet with SJWs/iphones/VR/blur rays/fidget spinner/emojis/people doing the DAB/current year music movies games/NN on the edge of happening/trump/social media/etc
>most of who they used to know will be dead/doing drugs/in jail/moved to another place/have no to little memory of them
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 21:18:17 298583 No. 2231
I know what you mean anon-san.
The past several years are all a blur and it's to the point where I don't remember anything throughout the day once it's over anymore because I discard the moment.
For the longest time I haven't even been in the moment, I've been living in my mind and on the computer screen.
Living so long psychologically disconnected from my body has affected me quite a bit.
I have been spending more time in the fleshnet lately though so I hope I can reconfigure my mind to a normal state.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 21:19:48 298583 No. 2232
>>2230
Noting wrong with VR or dabbing concentrates.
It's fucked up though how things have changed, most of my friends are downgrades of their shota/loli selves and one was even murdered in a drug deal ;_;
I kinda wish that once 2006 ended time reversed back to the 90s.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 22:23:52 9c0a26 No. 2233
I also have a foggy, disjointed memory. I think it's due to the fact that the things we do on a day to day basis is so monotonous and insignificant, that we subconsciously feel as though it isn't worth remembering, and discard most of it. I don't even bother trying to keep track of memories anymore, I just try to fill my head with various kinds of knowledge that interests me, or lose myself in tv/movies/anime/games/etc.
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引きこもり 12/05/17 (Tue) 22:52:28 f1bb0f No. 2234
>>2227
>Mentally yeah, but physically I feel the effects of the passage of time. I probably feel older than I am physically due to bad posture and relatively little movement in day to day life, yet mentally I still feel the same about a lot of things as I did before locking myself away from society.
Same here actually.
>>2232
>I kinda wish that once 2006 ended time reversed back to the 90s.
Same here i miss the happier years of being a little kid.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 00:08:25 f1bb0f No. 2235
>>2233
> don't even bother trying to keep track of memories anymore, I just try to fill my head with various kinds of knowledge that interests me, or lose myself in tv/movies/anime/games/etc.
Same here anon though sometimes i do get lost in thought and think back to past memories and wonder what would have happened if my life turned out differently.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 03:00:06 9c0a26 No. 2237
>>2235
>i do get lost in thought and think back to past memories and wonder what would have happened if my life turned out differently.
I think we all do that from time to time.
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 04:16:46 f1bb0f No. 2245
>>2237
>I think we all do that from time to time.
True
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 07:58:39 f5ca01 No. 2268
>>2226
> … being stuck basically in a never ending adolescence
I've never actually felt any older than say five or six years old. I don't feel any more competent, mature, or optimistic about the world than I did back then, and in some aspects I became more cynical.
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引きこもり 02/01/19 (Fri) 12:56:45 d86623 No. 6994
>>2187
If you are a hikkikomori that spends most of his time on your computer and you're worried about forgetting things I recommend tracking software. I have tracked all my activity for many many years without interruption. My past is a bit of a blur too and life often gets hazy and dream-like but I know that I can come up with a date and time and I will able to tell what I was doing that day at that time. I have the data to reconstruct my past in any way I want at any time.
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引きこもり 02/11/19 (Mon) 08:54:18 9f5aa8 No. 7009
>>6994
why would you do that to yourself? the fog allows time to pass by faster. not living by the clock is greatest privilege we get to enjoy.
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引きこもり 02/25/19 (Mon) 22:04:13 d86623 No. 7104
>>7009
>why would you do that to yourself?
It's difficult to say but there are a few reasons. One of them being to avoid the uncomfortable situation of being very old and not knowing what happened in my past.
>the fog allows time to pass by faster
I'm not sure about this.
>not living by the clock is greatest privilege we get to enjoy
This doesn't seem necessarily true, at least for me.
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引きこもり 03/30/19 (Sat) 07:55:35 5004dd No. 7286
It's weird how I can recall some things quite clearly, but, for the most part, the past, my whole past really, is an impenetrable haze filled with nothing worth the mental storage capacity it would take to keep. I'm actually glad it's just a haze, to be honest. Having a photographic memory of all the empty days I've endured & trudged through would, I guess, be rather unpleasant. I'd imagine I also have a lot in common with those in solitary confinement as far as how fragmented the mind & memory end up becoming. It's a bit of a laugh to think on how in all the years I've been a hikikomori, my brother has lived a pretty varied life and has went to many places around the world and done many different things, whereas I've just been sitting here living out my own personal Groundhog Day on repeat (sleeping, sitting around in my underwear & playing video games). It's just funny that he's probably packed in more life in just these past 10 years, then what I've even experienced up till now, or will ever experience going forward. To a lot of people, he'd be the only one they'd consider to be actually alive & living a life, whereas I'd just be seen as merely existing/surviving, eking by as a reclusive ghost. Then again, he'd probably kill himself if he were forced to exist the same way I do. Doubt he'd even last a year, frankly. Maybe there's a unique sense of strength I posses there. I don't know.
I'm just glad I began keeping a list of the various games I finish, or have in backlog, because, otherwise, I wouldn't even remember 90% of it. Looking back over my list, and thinking back on what I was playing at the time, can help me recall my amorphous past a little more easily in some respects. Not only that, but if I don't have a way to remember what I finish, then I can't help, but wonder what the point was in even playing it in the first place. To put it simply, a list stops the experience from crumbling to dust in my mind. Keeping a record gives a little bit of continuity & purpose to it all, at least to me anyway. By contrast, I don't keep a list of the films I've watched, mostly because I watch so few which, in its own way, makes it easier to remember what I've watched. I'm sure I've forgotten a ton though, which is depressing and makes me wish I had started a film list of some kind.
As a random aside, I once heard from one of that Vsauce guy's videos how neurogenesis is dependent on new experiences and that maintaining the mind's overall neuroplasticity leads to greater cognitive ability. Couldn't help, but laugh since, naturally, sitting around in the same sterile, unchanging environment for, in my case, 12 years, would have essentially the reverse effect. It'd be interesting to compare the two, to be honest. I often wonder how atrophied & rotten my mind must look, when matched against a more healthy brain, biologically speaking that is.
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引きこもり 04/04/19 (Thu) 18:28:37 a2aa19 No. 7300
I never even bother trying to remember anything. What is the point.
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引きこもり 04/05/19 (Fri) 23:43:20 ee07b4 No. 7303
>>6994
What is the tracking software you're using?
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引きこもり 04/08/19 (Mon) 07:28:52 d86623 No. 7316
>>7286
>neurogenesis is dependent on new experiences and that maintaining the mind's overall neuroplasticity leads to greater cognitive ability. Couldn't help, but laugh since, naturally, sitting around in the same sterile, unchanging environment for, in my case, 12 years, would have essentially the reverse effect.
Changing your environment and having new experiences in the context of neuroplasticity doesn't imply necessary leaving your room. A chess player can go from being a beginner to being very good without ever leaving his room once, but his brain would've gone through a lot of strain and plasticity in the process.
>>7300
>I never even bother trying to remember anything. What is the point.
There are many reasons to bother. The two post above mention two:
> if I don't have a way to remember what I finish, then I can't help, but wonder what the point was in even playing it in the first place. To put it simply, a list stops the experience from crumbling to dust in my mind. Keeping a record gives a little bit of continuity & purpose to it all, at least to me anyway.
>to avoid the uncomfortable situation of being very old and not knowing what happened in my past
I can give you another. Apparently human beings are very bad at remembering their past accurately, and their memories seem to usually be distorted in the act of remembering to reflect the bias of their present self, rather than what actually happen. If you keep track of what you do your future self would have a harder time trying to distort the past which can be beneficial.
>>7303
>What is the tracking software you're using?
timewarrior. I used manictime for some time but timewarrior fits my interests much better. I also use websites and spreadsheets to keep track of my media consumption.
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引きこもり 04/08/19 (Mon) 23:20:00 183707 No. 7325
>>7316
>Changing your environment and having new experiences in the context of neuroplasticity doesn't imply necessary leaving your room. A chess player can go from being a beginner to being very good without ever leaving his room once, but his brain would've gone through a lot of strain and plasticity in the process.
Yes, you're right, of course. The problem more lies with me, if anything. I have no desire to learn or do anything which is the bigger reason why my brain is a rotten lump and not so much as a result of the isolation, even though it has compounded it in my case. Either way, having or developing a sharp & keen mind certainly isn't dependent on going outside or interacting with others. It can help I guess, but it's not required, like you say.
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