Acceptance. 引きこもり 11/26/17 (Sun) 06:36:55 3de73a No. 2008
Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
I noticed in some posts here some people seem very bitter about the way the world treats them, and of course lots of self hatred. I imagine the only way you could really be content being a hikki is if you somehow lived alone, weren't directly a burden on anyone, and didn't have to deal with normalfags harassing your for being hikki. Then maybe i could see myself not feeling inherently full of self pity for being such a failure. Though being like this for long enough it's impossible to feel miserable all the time, it would kill me. So sometimes i'll get deluded enough thinking that it's not all that bad or even get smug about it thinking about normalfags racing to work and dealing with women as if they're the ones in the wrong here.
So i guess this thread is just asking how you view yourself in a meta sense
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
Personally i'm not sorry about being the way i am anymore. Thinking like that tore me apart so now i just accept that i'm different. All of my shame and bitterness is towards my family. I feel awful having let down some of my family who have done nothing but support me, but then i'm also bitter towards my mom who never supported me or really took an interest in any of my problems when they arose. And i feel like i'm doing a very insignificant amount of damage to society compared to the average normalfag honestly. Though i'm not bitter towards normal people. I do realize that I'm the malcontent.
____________________________
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引きこもり 11/26/17 (Sun) 07:33:36 3b8b8e No. 2010
>>2008
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
Not really there are a lot of things i disagree with in this modern society and that is one of the reasons i withdrew from it in the first place as far as accepting myself and who i am to an extent yes however there are parts of myself that i am still shameful of and simply me being myself makes me feel uncomfortable even online i lie a lot online because i don't want people to see how much of a failure i am.
>I noticed in some posts here some people seem very bitter about the way the world treats them, and of course lots of self hatred. I imagine the only way you could really be content being a hikki is if you somehow lived alone, weren't directly a burden on anyone, and didn't have to deal with normalfags harassing your for being hikki.
Most of the users on here hate themselves because of the life they live and all the bad experiences they have been through myself included and probably wish they weren't so reclusive and anti-social i know i do to an extent but if someone is happy living as a hikki i can understand why and don't blame them.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
I have my moments when i get depressed or angry ill. have feelings of shame and regret for living this lifestyle for the past 10 years and not making something of myself however when i'm in a decent mood i'm actually happy that i am not outside in society to an extent.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
Yes and technically i wasn't even supposed to live anyway i was born 3 months premature and almost died in infancy as far as being ashamed of not being a member of society well like i said earlier yes and no but mostly yes people put too much pressure on me growing up and to be honest i feel that i haven't lived up to society's expectations and the expectations of my own family to be honest and that is one of the reasons i am very bitter towards society and my own family.
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引きこもり 11/26/17 (Sun) 13:52:38 271924 No. 2012
>>2008
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this?
No.
It's a meme, I know, but I blame the times. I've read Evola and De Maistre, Chesterton and Beloc, and have basically realized that I was born in the wrong time.
I'm just not made for any materialist time, as I prefer contemplating the spiritual, and I'm really not cut out for competition.
I wager I'd have joined the church in some capacity in ye olden days, but that's not much of an option these days.
>As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
No. Social interaction with normals holds no interest for me.
A manga I've recently read makes me kinda sad I don't have a sibling that went through the same stuff that I did and has therefore also become a hikki, we could live together and it'd be nice to actually have someone physically here that understands.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
Yes.
I wish I wasn't born to a modestly wealthy family. It's a pretty shit feeling to know your family has worked for generations to amass what you're now wasting because you're incapable of working, let alone making business deals. Not that it really matters, I'm an only child and my chances of reproducing are nil.
I honestly wish I was born poor. Then there'd be nothing to waste and I could live off social security. No reason to feel guilt then.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
Certainly not.
I don't want to get political here, but as you may have guessed already, I don't think much of modern society. No reason to feel ashamed about leeching off it.
TL;DR: I have no problem with how I am, aside from the fact that I'm failing my family due to my state.
Working on at least being able to do jobs from home though. That should fix it.
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引きこもり 11/26/17 (Sun) 18:14:20 bad937 No. 2014
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
I have to accept it, sadly, since it's never going to change. Yet that doesn't mean that I like the way things are, no. It's depressing when I sit down and think about it, but I'm so used to it that I often just take it as the status quo. Imagine if the world was in war, and the war was going on for 30 years. Kids born and raised under that, or even those who just lived through all that, would have a hard time remembering or imagining a time when things were better. That's kinda the position I'm in.
>I imagine the only way you could really be content being a hikki is if you somehow lived alone, weren't directly a burden on anyone, and didn't have to deal with normalfags harassing your for being hikki. Then maybe i could see myself not feeling inherently full of self pity for being such a failure. Though being like this for long enough it's impossible to feel miserable all the time, it would kill me. So sometimes i'll get deluded enough thinking that it's not all that bad or even get smug about it thinking about normalfags racing to work and dealing with women as if they're the ones in the wrong here.
I'm not sure why you perceive that as delusion. Having friends is not objectively a good thing, no matter what (((psychologists))) tell you. Everyone's different, hence the separation between introverts and extroverts. To me, people were a source of shame and paranoia, and they took time away from things that made me happy - my hobbies - so I legitimately am happier, and far less stressed out on a daily basis after cutting people away. And even if it was some sort of placebo, it works, so I'll take it.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
Ashamed? No. Society loves to shame people for not doing things the way they want it. Women shame men for not getting married, when men risk alimony for life and losing half their stuff. Not being married makes a lot of men feel safer, and society shames them for that. Same here, I'm far happier without people, so they shame me for it. But I refuse to let them shame me into feeling like crap again.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
In some way. They're probably disappointed in me, but I'm pretty disappointed in them too. Families are meant to love you unconditionally and mine despised me even before I was a hikki, just because I didn't obey them blindly like my sister did.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
No, not really. I'm not doing anything unreasonable. I'm not demanding anything unreasonable and never have. I just wanted a comfy life, a job and someone to love. Since I can't have that, I just want to be left alone. I'm not committing crimes, I'm not doing drugs, I do more with my free time than most normies do, so I don't see why I should be ashamed.
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引きこもり 11/27/17 (Mon) 00:52:02 3de73a No. 2015
>>2010
>>2012
>>2014
just wanted to say i read these and appreciate the posts, anons
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引きこもり 11/27/17 (Mon) 01:47:14 3b8b8e No. 2016
>>2015
>just wanted to say i read these and appreciate the posts, anons
Your welcome anon.
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引きこもり 11/27/17 (Mon) 05:03:44 15dc27 No. 2017
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
Begrudgingly I have to, but some things I can't or won't accept. As for the way society or the world at large is, it doesn't matter. I'm one person and I can't change either and to constantly get angry at the stupid shit both do on a regular basis is pointless and wastes what little energy I have left these days.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
At one point maybe but nowadays not at all, society loves to shun and shame those who don't toe there bullshitty lines. The average person is a shallow shell who exist to work and are boring fucks to boot so I don't feel like I'm missing out on much. Real friends don't exist anyway, they are all fair weathered.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
Partly? While I do feel somewhat guilty about burdening them at some points, they didn't really help while I was going through shit and I was largely forgotten in favor of my brother. I have a feeling that's why let me off being a hikki.
>>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
As a person sure, I've done shit I'm not proud of but as a member of society? Not at all. All I ever wanted was to be accepted and I apparently I wasn't worthy enough for it. Now I am doing the next best thing, being left alone.
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引きこもり 11/27/17 (Mon) 07:18:29 c34407 No. 2019
>>2008
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
Of course. Why wouldn't I accept the way I am? It's like saying if I don't then I have to change up my face with plastic surgery, you know what I mean? For me, it's better to accept sooner and the better to acknowledge yourself how you are. Then from there on, you can try to decide yourself if you want to improve. At least that's the way I think about it.
Living at home every single day and night and not go out as much as you did during your school days, can really change your perspective to many things in life. It's either good or bad. But I think most of it's bad when you live in solitude for many years. It comes to point where you give more than just a cold shoulder. Especially towards your family. The negativity becomes heavy than the usual and it eats you up in a way that you wish such life style never happened.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
Ever since I started this, not a single day that I would think that I'm not ashamed of being like this, this shut-in lifestyle. my aspects of socialization is never a strong ability of mine. Sometimes I envy others who can actually do it. They make it look like it's not a problem doing it. I prefer being quiet most of the time anyways. Less troubles, the better.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
Oh yeah, all the time. I wish I could do my part and contribute. Give them back for all they done to me. For putting up with my bullshit and still being in this damn hiki lifestyle.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
As a human? No. We have to see it in a whole perspective that this is just another thing in life, you know? We've dealt things here and there and we still do. As a member, I wouldn't give a shit about it but deep down inside I am. When people find out that I'm an unemployed, inexperienced loser at life then it's all game over for human interaction in general. Back into my home sweet home.
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引きこもり 11/27/17 (Mon) 11:10:31 8baf50 No. 2020
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
Yea I do. I have to. I think that I have a lot of emotions that pop up, that my family can't really understand that push me to feel really angry with others and myself, so I try to just ride those out when they come. I don't like letting those emotions fester and influence my philosophy on life, but they do come around sometimes and it can be very hard to not feed them.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this? As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
I'm ashamed of not being able to interact socially without extreme inner anguish that is very noticeable. It's led me to seclude myself completely. I wouldn't say I'm bitter about it… Sometimes I can be… It's how I am and I do have to accept it and I don't really like going down the road of blaming myself or blaming others. One leads me to depression, the other leads me to misguided and irrational rage. It's probably the biggest challenge I have right now. I guess I'd like to forgive myself and forgive others and just go from here since it's where I am now.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
Yes, but I feel they've really let me down as well. I'd like to make enough money from here to be able to support myself. That would make things much better since I would feel competent at something, and I don't think they would look at me as a failure as much. I've taught myself to program some and I used to do some transcription with Speechpad, but with the transcription I started getting a ton of wrist pain so I had to stop. I want to go back to programming in the near future.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
Occasionally… I think the people who want me to feel shame have no idea what it is to live like this. I'm dealing with my situation the best I can, and I don't want to cause myself or others any more suffering.
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引きこもり 11/28/17 (Tue) 22:32:38 3b8b8e No. 2034
>>2019
>Oh yeah, all the time. I wish I could do my part and contribute. Give them back for all they done to me. For putting up with my bullshit and still being in this damn hiki lifestyle.
I know that feel anon i too feel that i have let my family down growing up they put too much pressure on me to make it in this world and i really tried to do all i could but in the end i just ended up failing.
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引きこもり 11/29/17 (Wed) 03:06:11 c8d261 No. 2036
>>2020
> I think the people who want me to feel shame have no idea what it is to live like this. I'm dealing with my situation the best I can, and I don't want to cause myself or others any more suffering.
I know how you feel anon it both pisses me off and makes me sad that my parents are not even acknowledging my way of life and realizing that there is a problem i'm simply trying to battle my own demons and deal with my situation the best i can i have been a hikki for about 10 years now and i fear that because my problems never got fixed i will still be in this lifestyle in 20 to 30 years from now.
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Post last edited at 11/29/17 (Wed) 03:08:38
引きこもり 11/29/17 (Wed) 08:35:09 c34407 No. 2041
>>2020
>I'm dealing with my situation the best I can, and I don't want to cause myself or others any more suffering.
That and me trying to keep myself sane. I've already learn things the hard way and it sucks for me to go through it and then learn not to make the same mistake again and not be an asshole anymore. I really want to make things for the better. For myself and even for others.
>>2034
>i really tried to do all i could but in the end i just ended up failing.
That's the thing about failure. It just pushes you down to the ground and even pushes you down more with pressure being build up on you.
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引きこもり 11/29/17 (Wed) 09:51:01 8baf50 No. 2042
>>2041
It's very frustrating because I live with my parents and I'm well beyond the age that society says that I should. Being around my family just causes conflict so I choose to stay away from them any more, and it's not out of just giving up. It's my attempt to improve my situation financially and be more independent. I have far more hope in myself than they do, and just noticing that through interactions with them is very painful. I'm very grateful to them in some ways, and it hurts me because I do care about them.
I suppose a part of me envisions a future where my family and I get along great, and I can be a part of the happiness and good times that they have with my sister and the rest of the extended family. Most of these feelings stem from being a disappointment to my family. When I have some small sliver of worldly success, job possibility, learn a skill, make a bit of money online, I start feeling incredibly positive. Like, maybe there's a way out of this mess after all.
There's also a lot to be grateful for. As miserable as living like this can be, there are other types of misery I could be suffering that I am not as accustomed to.
I try not to belittle my hobbies and feel bad about doing what I do. I try to take whatever positive feelings arise, focus on them, and see the truth in them. I play a lot of video games and I put a lot of time into getting achievements in Steam games. I don't think I would care about things like this if I had any kind of social life, but it's definitely provided some meaning and motivation in my life that has spread to other areas.
Sorry for the rant. I just found this board recently and it's been a great comfort over these past week or so. Many other boards I frequent have so many people on there belittling people for fun, and I have no desire to absorb that or partake in it.
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引きこもり 11/29/17 (Wed) 15:47:46 ce70e7 No. 2044
>>2008
My answer to all of the questions would be no.
Accomplished stillness; the world is accepted as it is. There is wisdom in resignation.
take care 63
To bo: you deleted me again?
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引きこもり 11/29/17 (Wed) 22:41:23 3b8b8e No. 2050
>>2044
>There is wisdom in resignation.
This is so true
>To bo: you deleted me again?
No
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引きこもり 11/30/17 (Thu) 00:57:35 551d3b No. 2053
>>2008
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
No, because both can be improved with effort.
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this?
I am ashamed that I still live with my parents, and that I am not financially independent. Outside of that, I'm fine with this lifestyle.
>are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
Sometimes I'm depressed about not having a girlfriend or wife, I often daydream about married life. Other than that I have no problem being anti-social. I used to try to meet people and build lasting friendships, but most people have no capacity for complex thought and shy away from deep conversations. So in the end my attempts at making friends proved to be a waste of time and energy because no one was interested in anything that couldn't be confined to a facebook or twitter post in terms of depth, quality, and complexity.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
Ultimately no. Although I am ashamed to still be living with my parents, they are a big part of why I'm still here. My dad is too buried in his work to care what I do, he was like that when I was a child as well. My mom has only ever enabled my behavior, and my siblings are off living their own lives and don't care what happens to me. It's hard to disappoint people who expect nothing from me.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
I often contemplate what exactly it means to be human. I watch a lot of Star Trek, a show in which the main characters always embody the best aspects of humanity. I also see other television shows and movies that hold those same hopeful ideals of what humanity could be. But when I look at the way humanity is today, I see almost none of those qualities, and what I usually witness instead is disturbing and heart-breaking. I have always tried to do my best with people, and attempted to be a good person, but when I try to do good things, 90% of the time someone will try to take advantage of my good intentions. Even when I have tried my best to be kind or friendly, I can still sense how uncomfortable people are around me, as if nothing I do will ever make them accept me. I have since given up on trying to make friends or fit in because not only can I not fit in, but with the way people are these days, I would never want to. Seeing how people are versus how I am, I have often questioned whether or not I could even be considered human, and if not, I wonder if that's even such a bad thing.
As far as society goes, I'm not ashamed about not living the way society wants me to, because society discourages any meaningful measure of growth within a person. If you begin to question the world around you, seek deeper meaning in life, or attempt to live outside of society's established guidelines, you run the risk of being rejected or attacked for being different. Why strive to be a part of something that seeks to cripple your soul and stunt your mental and spiritual growth?
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引きこもり 11/30/17 (Thu) 02:24:45 3b8b8e No. 2056
>>2053
>I often daydream about married life.
Me too
>My mom has only ever enabled my behavior, and my siblings are off living their own lives and don't care what happens to me. It's hard to disappoint people who expect nothing from me.
I know that feel anon i have been a hikikomori for about 10 years now almost 11 and still to this very day my mom continues to enable the very behavior of mine that she wishes she could fix failing to even realize that there is a problem to begin with.
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引きこもり 11/30/17 (Thu) 08:33:30 ce70e7 No. 2099
>>2050
That's okay, someone deleted a webm but it doesn't matter.
No attachment, no conflict. Things should be allowed to follow their own course, and men should not value one situation over another. A truly virtuous man is free from the bondage of circumstance, personal attachments, tradition, and the need to reform his world.
The wise man knows that
it is better to sit on the
banks of a remote mountain
stream than to be emperor of
the whole world.
~zhuangzi in a nutshell
All is well in the great mess, hahaha. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.
The 'me' needs goals, purpose and other silly words, it can't live without these things. It eats soap opera (drama) to stay alive. But the story of the 'me' someplace in time is a fairytale. The business deal mindset will not help anyone. It turns you into a dog chasing it's own tail for the blood of your neighbor. Successful animals eat one another to be that.
Take care Sama
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引きこもり 11/30/17 (Thu) 08:57:08 ce70e7 No. 2100
>>2099
As an example here are three clips about the same subject, by three different men telling the same story according to their own understanding. Which one is telling the truth?
Just view them first and then you can delete the whole thing if you like. Just hearing the words will begin your enlightenment, the concepts presented are that powerful, thank you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFidicQT8NQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-j0komG__A&t=15s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg8WHzKidiw
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引きこもり 11/30/17 (Thu) 22:02:29 3b8b8e No. 2176
>>2100
I've seen these before awhile back but they are really good thanks for the links anon.
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引きこもり 12/01/17 (Fri) 11:33:12 ce70e7 No. 2182
>>2176
Very good; here begins your Liberation.
Whenever you are emotionally pulled into a story, just remember that everything in this world that we can understand was invented by another Monkey.
Take care
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引きこもり 12/06/17 (Wed) 22:03:50 339143 No. 2280
>Are you inherently ashamed of being a like this?
no.
>As in are you bitter about not being able or willing to interact socially?
no. i do wake up sometimes by PTSD/thinking how jealous i am and ways to get back at those that did those things to me but i would be just as bad as those people back then but i cannot change what happened because it already happened. it is what it is.
>Do you feel as if you've let your family down?
no.
>Are you ashamed as a human and member of this society?
no
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
yes
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引きこもり 12/08/17 (Fri) 21:57:31 402d2e No. 2367
>>2182
> just remember that everything in this world that we can understand was invented by another Monkey.
is "mother nature" a monkey?
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引きこもり 12/08/17 (Fri) 22:04:43 bad937 No. 2368
>>2367
>is "mother nature" a monkey?
No, but she throws shit just like one.
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引きこもり 12/08/17 (Fri) 22:08:16 3b8b8e No. 2369
>>2368
>>is "mother nature" a monkey?
>No, but she throws shit just like one.
True
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引きこもり 12/08/17 (Fri) 22:56:35 ce70e7 No. 2371
>>2367
>>2368
>>2369
If you take it out of context, it exploits what I meant.
Change monkey to primate.
What is the story of you someplace in time about?
It's not about mother nature.
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引きこもり 12/12/17 (Tue) 23:35:04 6bd4aa No. 2443
>>2008
>Do you accept the way you are and the way the world is?
The way I am, yes. The way the world is? HELL NO. It needs a good cleansing if you know what I mean
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 03:31:51 3b8b8e No. 2444
>>2443
>The way the world is? HELL NO. It needs a good cleansing if you know what I mean
Do you ever fantasize about living as the only person on earth anon??.
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 04:34:14 ebfd1d No. 2445
>>2444
I'm not the anon you quoting him, but I keep fantasizing about that though.
you know being alone on earth seems to be perfect meanwhile, worthless I mean imagine being alone in this whole planet without anyone else surround you we don't have anyone no matter whether this fantasy is true or not anyway. but at least you aware that there's human beings out there whoever they are, whatever the way they treat us at least they're exist. but if we are alone on earth not we but (you,me) alone here what you can except from that having peace for 2.4.6 years eventually you will get bored and committing suicide, everything will seems pointless more than it already is, we are a worthless creatures indeed and bet this planet is hating every feet walking on it but what can it do! it's useless piece of a big crap such as us humans.
I was watching a series called (The last man on earth) the first 2 Episodes it was great when he was totally alone without anyone else in the whole planet, but within the start of him finding 4 succubus it was still a little bit tolerable but as soon as there's a nigger chad appear in the series and the succubus dumbed the white guy for him the whole series started to convert to a pretty big mess so I stop and deleted the whole episode It was a mistake to Download it from the beginning
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 06:04:36 3b8b8e No. 2447
>>2445
>I was watching a series called (The last man on earth) the first 2 Episodes it was great when he was totally alone without anyone else in the whole planet, but within the start of him finding 4 succubus it was still a little bit tolerable but as soon as there's a nigger chad appear in the series and the succubus dumbed the white guy for him the whole series started to convert to a pretty big mess so I stop and deleted the whole episode It was a mistake to Download it from the beginning
Reminds me of the time when i tried to get into the anime Chaos Head couldn't get passed the first 9 episodes because it got stupid after that.
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 07:35:49 effcc4 No. 2455
>>2447
Yeah it really got so stupid not to mention the whole story of the series which they write in the description have converted to be a whole different story since the moment the nigger appear, it's become a story about horny bitchs take glimps secretly at the body of the last Chad on earth as well as fucking him, there was at least three open secens in every episode after the third one with this Chad
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 07:36:37 effcc4 No. 2456
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引きこもり 12/13/17 (Wed) 20:57:30 3b8b8e No. 2465
>>2455
I haven't seen that show and that alone sounds stupid.
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