Such a thing breaks my heart.
For me, watching MMA makes me hyped to work out.
Jocko Podcast is also a great listen when at the gym. He is a navy seal.
You got to man up my brother and become assertive. The world needs more masculine energy these days and it will be well worth your time.
Weightlifting for muscle growth is simple, luckily. Pavel Tsetsouine(?) Breaks it down to: bench press and deadlifts. 2-5 repetitions for as many sets you can safely do. Do not push yourself for "just one more". You can be lazy, it is actually good as long as you do some lifting. Do this 3 to 5 times a week.
Switch it up every 2 months, you will know what to do next trust me.