No.8210
So… had some spare time to waste and I made this thing. It's the firt finished version, so there will probably some issues with grammar, alignement and balance, but I'm pretty happy of how it turned out to be.
If anyone wants to tinker with it, I uploaded the psd files to mega:
https://mega.nz/#!ZPhhUZAb!RbP5VdWoGEb9uJd6j4egoEhrddIO4_lPKz7xyCX-uJc
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No.8211
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No.8212
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No.8215
Background:Apostate Apprentice(+1 any)
Base Materials:Beastfolk(+1 any)
Feeding Method:Leecher
Binding Method:Unbound(Loyal Servant, Faithful)
Boons:
Physical:8
Living Bastion - 7
Tireless - 6
Beautiful - 5
Raw Strength - 4
Supernatural Healing - 3
Shape Shifter - 2
Martial Mastery - 1
Unnatural Speed - 0
Mental:8
Mental Fortress 7
Charm - 6
Keen Mind - 5
Techological Mastery - 4
Telepathic Proficiency - 3
Mind Digger - 2
Flesh Crafter - 1
Clairvoyant - 0
Drawbacks:
Perks:2
Perpetual - 1
Dutiful - 0
In the end I have extremely loyal maid that can kick butts, make inventions, never gets tired, very beautiful and even able to fulfill my orders before i even make them! Flesh Crafting also could be used to make me better. Her faithfulness is a minor negative, but it's something a can live with
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No.8219
>>8215
Uh nice. Did not think someone would pick unbound. You rolled pretty well considering the alternatives.
How was the balance? Too many points or was there just enough to make what you wanted?
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No.8221
>>8210
>>8210
-Background:
Blood Mage (+1 physical)
-Base Materials:
Fey
Female
Apparence is irrelevant due to Fleshcrafter Boon and Perfect Perk.
-Feeding Method:
Leecher
-Binding Method:
Binding Patterns (physical cap at 8)
-Boons:
Physical: (7)
#Beautiful
#Supernatural Healing
#Living Bastion
#Raw Strength
#Martial Mastery
Mental: (12)
#Mind Digger
#Flesh Crafter
#Charm
#Mental Fortress
#Magical Potency
#Keen Mind
History (2)
# Loyal Servant
# Lover
-Drawbacks:
# Psychopath (+1 history)
# Mastermind (+1 history)
-Perks:
(physical:) War Incarnate (req. Living Bastion, Raw Strength, Martial Mastery)
(Mental:) Ultimate Sorcerer (req. Mental Fortress, Magical Potency, Keen Mind)
(physical:) Perpetual (req. Sup healing)
(Mental:) Procreator (req. Flesh Crafter)
(Mental:) Perfect (req. Beautiful + Charm)
(Mental:) Scarvenger (req. Leecher)
(Mental:) In Love (req. Lover)
(Mental:) Dutiful (req. Loyal)
I think this Perfect Immortal Top Warrior/Mage that can create more Homonculus, with no feeding issues, shapeshift into anything, dig more skills out of people's skulls and is Dutifully In Love with me shows we might be playing with too many points here.
I'd say at least a handful too many points.
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No.8222
>Apostate Apprentice
What kind of empire forbids technology? A shitty one, that's what.
>Type
Artificial.
>Feeding method
Ripper. Seems neater.
>Binding method
Unbound. This is going to be fun.
>Random History Boon - rolled a 4, Mentor
>Random History Drawback - rolled a 1, Hate
So, it's a mentor that fucking hates me for what I did. Probably the same dude I learned this magic from. Uh-oh.
>8 Physical
1) Mechanical Empathy
2) Living Bastion
3) Tireless
4) Raw Strength
5) Unnatural Speed
6) Supernatural Healing
7) Elemental Affinity (Water)
8) Elemental Affinity (Fire)
>8 Mental
1) Mental Fortress
2) Limitless Mana
3) Magical Potency
4) Magical Sponge
5) Keen Mind
6) Technological Mastery
7) Telepathic Proficiency
8) Mind Digger
>Perk
Synthetic Ascension
So, basically, I have made Amazo from DCAU. An all-powerful basically indestructible artificial being. That fucking hates my guts. It was nice knowing you guys, I guess I'll just die now.
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No.8223
>>8219
I think it was pretty well-balanced, although i really wanted to choose more of those super cool perks, but any drawbacks seemed too harsh for my homunculus. To be fair, I tried to build myself a waifu, so my judgment on harshness of drawbacks might be influenced by that.
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No.8227
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No.8234
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No.8241
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No.8242
>>8241
Ok here's the revised version of my OC. I've fixed hopefully most grammar horrors and rewritten some confusing parts. On the visual side some some misalignments were fixed and the fusion effect was toned down to make it easier to read.
On the balance I was torn. On one hand this CYOA is about building a crazy powerful creature, so it's fun to have a lot of points, on the other having less points makes your decisions more important and so the character becomes more interesting and fun to play with.
In the end I lowered the starting points, but all drawbacks were either buffed or made a lot more bereable. Hopefully it makes for a better CYOA.
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No.8249
>>8241
>>8242
It's a good approach. A few things:
I would argue that the first few choices don't have enough impact on the "end product".
For exemple, Imperial Wizard (6/7 points) vs Blood Mage (7/6 points) are mostly identical beyond the fluff. Currently the biggest difference is how some backgrounds can't take some options.
Base materials is the same (except dragon/fey). One power point isn't really thrilling as a choice. Maybe a free boon(s) related to the race's fluff ? (ie: human gets free Technological Mastery?)
I would argue that if you want to force differenciation of homunculus created, we to need to have at least half your total points coming from the first page's selections (feeding and binding giving points maybe ?) rather than having 90% of them being given by default.
It would also be nice to have an extra page of choices on the Homonculus' appearence. And make Shapeshifter more expensive ? There's also the issue that Flesh crafter can do the same, but more and better, for the same price.
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No.8293
>>8249
>I would argue that the first few choices don't have enough impact on the "end product". I would argue that if you want to force differenciation of homunculus created, we to need to have at least half your total points coming from the first page's selections
That is a fair critique, one that I kind of agree with. However
>Maybe a free boon(s) related to the race's fluff ?
Is pretty much the same as giving a free point. That's probably my fault for insisting on keeping all boons and perks with the same cost. I did it in order not to complicate things too much, but I'm afraid it's biting me back.
>It would also be nice to have an extra page of choices on the Homonculus' appearence
That is a good idea and a way to make the CYOA less of a waifu simulator (not that it's a bad thing, but it's not the focus).
>And make Shapeshifter more expensive ? There's also the issue that Flesh crafter can do the same, but more and better, for the same price.
Well they're not the same thing. Shape shifting is an innate ability where you just have to see something in order to copy it, flesh crafting is a "science" that allows for manipulation of living matter. It's like a chameleon and an engineer designing a chameleon suit, if you want.
Thanks for the feedback. Appreciate it
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No.8294
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No.8360
background:Cultist Sorcerer
Base: Outsider
Feeding: Leecher
Binding: Otherwordly
Boons: Beautiful, Shape shifter, Small Size, Great Size, Illusionist, Mind Digger, Telepathic Proficiency, Mind Melter, Flesh Crafter, Clairvorant History: Loyal Servant
Drawback: Divine Wrath, Faithful Madness
Perks: Size Changer, Dream Walker, Psychic Supremacy, Perfect
I think I got the points right, might be off by one or two. Not much time to explain but basically: Slaanesh champion, overload people with the most various kinds of thrills then feed on those emotions. Took some trickster-like stuff too because why not, it could help.
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No.8361
My homunculus can beat up your homo-nculuses.
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No.8412
File: bc84f0a9e0deaad⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,670.62 KB,1416x2000,177:250,31ee10256b22a820cbbbf96539….jpg)
File: d29b8e42050c564⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,306.99 KB,1403x992,1403:992,82bd3979134437df1602204f66….jpg)
>>8241
Imperial Wizard
Fey
4P 11M
Leecher
Soul bond
Beautiful -2P
Supernatural healing -1P
Small size (free because Fey)
Unnatural speed -1P
Mental fortress -1M
Limitless mana -1M
Charm -1M
Magical potency -1M
Keen mind -1M
Illusionist -1M
Telepathic proficiency -1M
Flesh crafter -1M
Empath -1M
Lover -1
'Psychopath +1
Mastermind +1
Imperial inquisition +2
Death cults +2
Perpetual -1
Ultimate sorcerer -1
Psychic supremacy -1
Procreator -1
Perfect -1
Scavenger -1
In Love -1
I don't get the gain 2 points but have to spend 2 points thing… why not just say gain 1 point? So I took 2.
…A new era of artificial faeries ruling over the world, and yandere for each-other and myself (as we all share the same original memories in addition to narcissistic love) Honestly I can't blame the Inquisition for wanting me dead. Good luck.
ht tps://ste emit.c om/@vox xe
Good thematic fantasy CYOA~
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No.8414
>>8412
>I don't get the gain 2 points but have to spend 2 points thing… why not just say gain 1 point? So I took 2.
Essentially with a sworn enemy drawbak you can take 2 extra boons or 1 extra perk.
The idea is that boons are things you have put into the homunculus and perks are things the homunculus got by itself. The more enemies it has to deal with the less time it has to increase its power.
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No.8420
>>8361
I would watch this anime.
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No.8431
>>8414
Ah OK, but I think that just means you can take less boons initially and use the enmies to get more, taking the points you saved for more perks… so redundant I think.
Still a cool darker fantasy concept~
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No.8444
>>8242
Apostate Mage.
Elf female base. (5, 8)
Leecher
Binding patterns.
Beautiful (4, 8)
Modular Biology (3, 8)
Tireless (2, 8)
Mechanical Empathy (1, 8)
Mental Fortress (1, 7)
Magical Potency (1, 6)
Charm (1, 5)
Keen Mind (1, 4)
Technological mastery (1, 3)
Telepatic. (1, 2)
Memory Shadow (1, 1)
Empath (1, 0)
Loyal Servant (0, 0)
Dutiful
Perfect
Scavenger
Quiet life.
<Welcome back... Hunter...
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No.11477
>Imperial wizard
Base
>Beastfolk
>Ripper
Eat chicken/rabbit/fish soul and sell the meat. Alternately eat ferocious animal soul and use it as war beast releasing it among enemies.
>Soul Bond
Physical
>Beautiful 2
>Supernatural Healing 1
>Unnatural Speed 1
Mental
>Mental Fortress 1
>Charm 1
>Magical Potency 1
>Keen mind 1
>Technological Mastery 1
>Flesh Crafter 1
History
>Lover 1
Perks
>Perpetual 1
>Ultimate Sorcerer 1
>Procreator 1
>Perfect 1
>Perfectly Adapted 1
Me and my homun… I mean, me and this adorable catfolk start living in the middle of a harsh desert. Oasis are too few and too far from each other raising the travel costs, the formation of alternative routes by sea made the few cities around the few water sources to die out with most turning into deserted cities, very few villages survived. We will make our home in one of the deserted cities. Slowly the mysterious tiny catfolk population increases turning the ghost town into a lolicat city. The use of advanced magic and technology makes the city thrive making the commercial route more cost effective than the alternatives. The city becomes a powerful nation strong in both magic and technology.
While all this happen there will be copious amounts of sex, cuddling and head patting.
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No.12568
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No.12610
>>12568
Yeah, you got a problem with that?
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No.12624
>>8210
>something something alchemy and magic
I'll assume it's a waifu builder.
>Apostate Apprentice (8 mental, 9 physical)
>Outsider
If we're not going to be bound by societal taboo we might as well go all out.
>Ripper
The least distasteful one
>Unbound
I am Frankenstein
>living bastion
>tireless
>beautiful
>raw strength
>supernatural healing
>martial mastery
>great size
>unnatural speed
8 physical boons
>mental fortress
>limitless mana
>charm
>magical potency
>keen mind
>technological mastery
>telepathic proficiency
7 mental boons
>lover
required for a waifu
free because of unbound
>madness
>divine wrath
take two mental points
>mastermind
no bonus because of unbound
I aim to undo the functional risk of this drawback via the perks
Currently I have 1 physical point and 3 mental points left
>ultimate sorcerer (costs two mental points)
Not the coolest perk, but the most powerful. I need this to not be punished for feeding her.
>perfect
>in love
I assume history perks can take from either point pool, just like history boons
My homunculus' free will is mitiagated by her genuine love for me. With her high intelligence and proficiencies she will create things even beyond my understanding, making her the singularity of the magical world.
>>8212
rare
at first I thought the cyoa gave you too many points and there was no real trade off, the perk system changed that and made me think though, but it also increased the scale and powerlevel way beyond what I first expected
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No.12626
>>8241
>Telepathic proficiency
What's "mindflayer of a mind flayer"?
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No.12671
>>12610
You better believe it.
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No.12741
>>8210
>apostate apprentice
>artificial
>leecher
>anchor
>living bastion
>tireless
>modular biology
>mechanical empathy
>mental fortress
>limitless mana
>magical sponge
>technological mastery
>flesh crafter
>empath
>alien intelligence
>procreator
>synthetic ascension
>scavanger
>peacefull existance
gentlemen, l present to you the myr. first of its kind. it siphons mana out of background feeding itself by it and using it to produce further myrs, is nigh indestructible due to being created from adamantium and not having any fleshy bits at all, and if it somehow loses part of its body it can just use some spare parts to make himself a new one. its only defence mechanism (not counting its toughness) is his ability to alter emotions of people and animals. it is able to scare large beasts and to make humans its friends. its not made from souls of living sentients and its unthreatening so inquisition is not interested in it. it can be controled by this rod, which houses a part of its soul. its purpose is acting as a mana battery of sorts, as it can both siphon mana from everything and has its own quickly regenerating mana supply. also its cute and children love it.
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No.14838
>>8219
Unbound feels perfect for playing as a loyal retainer reviving their master, potentially with a power-up. Like the servant of a god-queen reviving her as an immortal Perfect beauty with psychic powerups and such.
That'd actually make a nice history perk, 'perfect rebirth' or something like that.
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