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/christianity/ - Christian Theology & Philosophy

If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. - 1 Peter 4:14
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3be804 No.9966

I sincerely apologize for the blogpost; I meant to post this in the relationship general on /christian/ but I was preemptively banned for nothing of course. My deepest apologies for starting a thread just for myself, let this be our relationship general then.

I am facing an existential problem; I used to be severely autistic and lame, unable to hold a conversation with anyone, totally fried with estrogen and insecurity and totally fucked up. as I grew older I remedied this greatly, through a series of events, relationships, and realisations that helped me come out of my shell. I've been doing fine since, but every now and again I find myself in such an awkward situation I begin to fear my whole life, if I may be hyperbolic. I find myself now, without immediate close friends, only people whom I have to act as someone else to, and never hang out with. My parents don't even believe I have any friends, which is such an existential insult to the male heir of their bloodline… a young man who is to become a man; with every skill and competency and piece of experience that comes with that. I am not a monk; I will need that growth. But this feels like maturation purgatory; what I mean is, this is intolerable.

I've also largely stagnated in this matter the past two years and I am seriously wondering if it is too late for me to grow into a likeable, good, not pathologically wrecked person carrying a ton of mental baggage around all the time. I, dare i say, know my purpose in life already, God have mercy on me, and it is absolutely essential I'm not for the matter. I've never felt dread like this, and I don't know whether to submit wholly and just be a physically vacant soul just adrift on God's will or try my hardest and just keep trying to grow, even with the mass of shame and indignity which constitutes my immediate and greater past.

I'm lying, I already know I'll devote my life to the latter, but it seems such a desperate and sad bid; for when I do devote my life to this thing that comes naturally to everyone, what else could I possibly devote it to, what else could I even do. I realise this is a very tiring and vague post, but has anyone had any similar experiences.

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3bcf84 No.9973

>>9966

Get on my level, I've been friendless for 5 years now, but it's what brought me back to God in the first place.

The best thing you can do, besides being a Christian, is manning up and not taking yourself too seriously. A man doesn't care if he's alone, cold, hot, hungry, thirsty; that is essential manliness, robustness of character and purpose regardless of circumstance. So get over yourself.

And lift.

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3bcf84 No.9974

>>9973

I want to add, I think a man should have good and deep friendships with other men. I for one lived in a foreign country for the past 5 years, and everyone here is both a liberal degenerate and racially different than me. This is why I couldn't make friends, but I'm going back to my own country so I will in the future.

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35740b No.9986

>>9966

>fried with estrogen

Are you meaning this symbolically or were you taking hrt?

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