/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>846736

After 6 months nofap my desire left me.

>>846739

how do i get to six months? i've been trying to do that but my best is 12 days and i typically don't make it past four

i read the pmo hackbook, it didn't help

The desire will always be there.

I've managed to give up fapping and actual porn… but I still play suggestive video games.

I should give up games all together and do things that make my life better.

>>846757

i accept that there will always be desire but i don't know how to prevent myself from acting on it

i've tried really, really hard and nothing seems to work, i know it will make me miserable but i still do it, i think "how would you feel if you never indulged in these things again?" and my answer is immediately and genuinely to think that i would be so relieved, i would be so happy if that was the case

but then the desire creeps up on me, i get intrusive thoughts about things i've seen and done that i can't stop thinking about, i feel this immense pressure and burning desire to the point i am literally incapable of preventing myself from thinking about it, and then it's a short road to complete capitulation

my best time, where i made it about twelve days, i did very well for the first ten days or so. i didn't think about sex, i didn't feel any desire, i wouldn't even turn to look if i saw a woman on the street, because i was afraid if i did it would make things difficult for me. i didn't peek, whenever i saw anything that might be remotely arousing on imageboards i quickly hid it, i made sure i didn't see or hear or think about anything that might even slightly arouse me, and was completely successful at this for the first ten days. but then, i started to get intrusive thoughts, like "don't think about pink elephants" makes you can't help but think of it. i started to get intrusive thoughts of little clips i'd seen, just flashes and still frames, completely unprompted and undesired, i tried mindfulness and meditation but i wasn't able to prevent these intrusions on my thoughts and eventually the pressure grew too great

i desperately want to free myself from this, it makes me want to die and feel like i am already dead. how do i do it? how do i get to the point where it's me in control, and not some lower part of myself? i won't just go to hell if i keep this up, i am already in hell, i want out

>>846762

Try giving up other things that are easier to give up, if even for a while, say 1 month or 1 week.

Try to be busy with physical activity.

Say a prayer for purity and grace against sin when tempted.

You're not going to become a saint overnight, don't damn yourself because you're not. It's a path.

>>846769

this.

keep trying brother, you are not alone in this, just because you failed in the past doesn't mean that God has abandoned you and that you should never try again, in fact if you accept defeat that means basically turning your back against Him.

Search your path and see what works for you, and at risk of sounding like a shill, what worked for me at least was downloading one of those apps it's called ReWire, i liked it because it isn't too handholdy and has a simple interface, this coupled with absolute faith in God helped me a lot to keep the devil out of my flesh, get up and try again, trust in God just like he trusts in you, 12 days is good but it gets easier the more you do it, remember that

>>846762

Difficulty did not threw you off from the path of growth, but difficulty is the path of growth.

Only the times of temptation matter for spiritual growth, those without struggle are outside the path and are worthless.

>>846736

The point from which you start at is wrong. You're starting with a feeling of desperation and guilt. Nothing can be done like that in life.

What would you say to someone who is suffering because of an addiction? Would you want them to feel guilty?

I strongly recommend that you accept the desire as part of your mental flux and simply let it pass without judging it so harshly. That's the problem: you judge it and you judge yourself very harshly.

You can't do anything unless you're relaxed.

t.I struggled with this s— a lot

>>846762

something that helped me was reading about how to keep intrusive thoughts out of my mind when I prayed. the key is to not worry about the thought, or giving it attention beyond 'oh hey a thought' because fighting the thought directly instead of letting it go and returning to the point of focus (i.e. God) is much more effective than brooding on the thought and fighting it.

In many ways it is a far more wicked world than it was when Christ walked the Earth as True Man and True God.

Immodestly dressed women and girls are everywhere, even my kid's Middle School. All kinds of disgusting porn is just a couple of clicks away on the internet. That stuff stays in your head forever. It is also much harder to find a decent wife for which the urge to procreate is just and natural.

I donno. Just keep trying I guess.

>>846784

>how to keep intrusive thoughts out of my mind when I prayed

do you have any more information about this? i actually have found myself avoiding prayer often out of fear of this

>>846788

Also to the OP personally I gave up porn for Lent along with fasting from food this year (40 days) thats longest I've lasted since I was 11-12 years old (or whenever I started looking at porn). I'm 28 now and to me, abstaining from something means you truly want to quit. Its a matter of willpower steeling your mind and closing yourself off to temptation. Try and cut down your internet usage with conscious effort and you will be able to start control your urges more. Every time I become lustful I consciously say No to myself and think of how I am my own master and not a slave to my desires. Its tough but you have to be consistent with it and realise you have to commit to loving God more than you love your own vices. Give yourself to Him and not your own desires even if it feels painful. Your feelings will betray you when it comes to greed and lust and will lead you into sin. Its a matter of mind over body. Love yourself enough to realise what you are doing to yourself and do something more with your life than an inherently empty and destructive act.

>>846744

I cannot remember it was awhile ago, but if you fail make sure you do it less and less each time, gradually, don't fall into the trap of overindulging since you failed anyway. Making repentance every time helps you falling it to that trap since it makes your sincerity accountable to God.

>>846736

>how do i free myself from desires of the flesh

you die

>>846861

i am already dead but i don't feel free at all

It never goes away, replace it with listening to the desires of the spirit instead and fill your time with doing things for God and Evangelizing.

say rosary daily while meditating on mysteries - works for everyone

>>846736

You're a layman and can breed, no? Your purpose is to marry and produce children. Of course God is going to give you these desires. I am one and go through the same feelings. And before anyone accuses me of preaching from my own authority as a layman, let me make it clear I'm just repeating what a priest with a doctorate told me.

>>846739

See, I don't want this either. I still want to get a girl and have a family, I need a healthy dose of hornyness for that.

>>848638

No good father finds his purpose in his child, since that does not reflect our Father in heaven.

>>846736

fasting like the muslims, you won't think about anything other than food, fvck christianity, shlt religion