Moved into my own rental recently, pestering for the gf to move in but her parents don't like me cause i'm disabled so she's a smidge reluctant.
I'm really anti-social media but I joined tumblr to follow porn blogs and shitpost, they kicked me off after one too many replies to SJW shit and since dropping the cancer of a site i've found my sex drive has gone up, and i'm mounting my girlfriend more often, hopefully gonna start a family soon, maybe start a business.
I'm a hobbyist writer, havn't published anything yet because I never get passed the first chapter.
Starting a massive build in mienkraft but I'll probably drop that like everything else but it doesn't stop me starting a new one again.
If the world worked the way I want it too it would remove me from it, I'm a bit of a hypocrite in that sense as I do a lot of shit I know is bad deep down inside.
Life's looking up for me but I'm generally a glass half full kinda guy anyway.
Going to Japan soon as well, I prefer my home country of straya but the bae wants to see the world.
I'm sorry if I've broken some kind of unspoken rule here but I just felt like putting that up here.
I was introduced to sex far earlier than I should have been, one of my mothers boyfriends daughters who was about five years older than me started messing around with me but it fucked up my development and made me obsess about it during my formative years when I should have just been a kid. I saw her later on in life and she got into drugs, thinking back on it I think she might have been abused as well and I was a kind of vent. Thankfully I never really had the opportunity to continue the cycle, not without lack of trying. Fuck I think about some of the stupid shit I did when I was younger and realize how skin of the teeth I really skated by.
It kind of made me start thinking you know, what if pedophiles weren't born, but made? What if being abused is the process someone has to go through to become a monster? I'm not saying that's what I am, but I think if things had been much more serious that maybe I would have developed differently, that I would have changed for the worse. I know a whole bunch of degenerates on the net who are into a whole bunch of disgusting things and when I ask them why, they never know, but they all had something genuinely fucked up happen to them when they were young and I can't help but wonder if that's the reason why.
I had a really fucking abusive first serious relationship and it jaded me towards women for the longest time, but after meeting my girlfriend I've had my hope restored.
Now you see how I change subjects tangentially and obtusely? this is how I go about my daily life too, and my long term goals, i'll start on something, get a decent way into it and then just drop it and pick something else up, is there any way to fix this?
I'm just kinda vomiting up stuff here now.
pic unrelated