/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

PIE FLOATERS, FARMERS UNION ICED COFFEE, PEPE THE FROG CAKES, SA BEST A

>>312902

We have a goonbag statue in the middle of our city, top that

>>312913

I'm too lazy

I NEED TO RAPE

VIRGINS

Anyone know any schemes to get a job? My household income is too high to get cenno so and I've got no fuckin job history so I need some government scheme.

>>312918

Have you considered doing an apprenticeship?

>>312918

>household income is too high

You should really mooch off your parents instead and leave the limited supply of jobs to needier neets.

>>312918

Sell your wanks

>>312918

I will pay you to be my gf

I wonder if Shitey has managed to get the condom over her head yet?

UP N AT EM ROCK N ROLLERS

>>312925

Morning neets. Wondering if shitey made any happas with the chink girl last night.

>>312897

Hmm, could be a win win.

>>312924

>>312927

>>312925

Good morning friends.

>>312931

She also gave me half my daily (You)'s.

Suppose I better have a wash and feint enthusiasm.

>>312934

>feint

feign

>>312935

Feinting would've been a better tactical play. If nothing else it'd surprise the people who were used to fainting at your unwashed scent.

>>312925

>>312924

>>312926

>>312927

>>312931

Good morning NEETs.

>>312930

Good morning my friend.

>>312935

I played the feint card.

Chucking another sickie.

monglyfe

>>312937

Hey baby.

>>312939

Sing that little song for me. The one I like.

>>312941

'Before I put on my make up'

>>312940

The illness is pretty much gone just still got a clogged up sinus. Might try for three lunches today.

I talked to the boss just before and he asked me to stay home. I farted loudly while he was talking, I hope he thought it was a chair squeak or something.

I said that I can do most of the stuff from home. Got a phone meeting at 9:30.

>>312940

i have been up since 4am so its lunch for me ….

made toasted sandwitch : mayo cheese bacon bbq sauce egg and a coffee… skipped the fruit juice today

Might even go for a cruise.

>>312945

All those oranges will go off if you don't use them.

>>312944

>I said that I can do most of the stuff from home. Got a phone meeting at 9:30.

Sick leave is not for working.

>>312948

I don't think it's counted as sick leave, plus I have the after hours phone.

>>312945

>a coffee

orally?

>>312950

Yes !

Wondering how Shitey's night went.

>>312951

Good man.

>>312953

with honey too

>>312944

>three lunches

You are going to need to go to Johnny Bigg for that new suit.

>>312954

That doesn't sound good.

>>312958

Mr. Shortly.

>>312952

He probably had a threesome with the nurse and the chink girl. And then woke up in the morning to discover that the chink girl was a different chink girl to the one he'd gotten on sunday, because they all look so similar he'd dragged the wrong one into his room for sex.

>>312958

What odds is Boris getting on betting sites?

>>312959

Inspector Faggot

>>312960

Hot

>>312962

That old lady is wearing a very slutty top.

>>312966

Sam relies on her bobs more and more to take attention away from everything else.

Goodmorning fellas. Rather overcast today, going for a hike soon, hope it doesn't rain too heavily.

>>312968

Good morning. Enjoy your hike.

>>312968

Morning. Take come pics if possible.

>>312970

*cum pics

>>312971

cum tits*

People at work drank all of my Twinings Afternoon tea without replacing the box.

>>312973

They probably just put it in the bin like they did with your Pepe mug.

>>312975

Pepe saw his opportunity and jumped to freedom.

>>312974

They are terrible sports.

>>312976

smartpepe

>>312931

Karen is probably well over 20 now, it just won't be the same

>>312975

Maybe you blended it and squirted it up your pooper.

Are you feeling exceptionally smug today?

>>312975

You should get an aboriginal pepe broach

Staying at a friends friends house, girl asked me if i needed anything just as i went to bed, is that a flirt?

>>312982

Possibly but it's also a good way to get kicked out right when you want to go to sleep

>>312974

I still have the Pepe mug. You are thinking of my Hack The Planet mug.

>>312983

True

>>312980

low quality post

>>312981

i dont think the chinks make those (yet)

>>312986

You are not yet a NEET of sufficient stature to be declaring comments low quality. Know your role.

>>312988

I wonder if this will make a repeat mobbing more or less likely

>>312990

He needs one that says 'I support Aboriginal bike rights'.

Two chicken pies down the hatch.

>>312992

you're a big neet

>>312993

I will not count that as one of my lunches. Perhaps a brunch.

>>312992

>chicken pies

What brand?

>>312994

second breakfast, you can still fit a proper brunch in

>>312995

Aldi brand. Not bad but they had me longing for their egg and bacon ones.

>>312979

She'll always be underage in my heart.

>>312998

I always saw her as a thin and nubile 60 year old.

>>312982

Unless all that /ausneets/ has taught me is a lie, it means anal

>>312999

You're too optimistic to be a neet

>>312997

Those egg and bacon pies always looked and sounded vile. Good riddance to them.

>>313002

Nah, they were scrum dilly umptious.

Very satisfying.

>>313000

All questions ultimately are answered that way.

I hope the council doesn't get suspicious about the novelty guillotine us lowly peasantneets ordered

>>313005

We are overdue for our Council reappraisal.

Not all NEETs deserve to remain seated at the big boy table and there are some highly qualified contenders that have emerged.

15 minutes late for that phone appointment.

Shonky wagie behaviour.

>>313006

>novelty

Hmm.

>>313003

>dilly

diddly

>>313007

I am going to sit on those upstarts.

I've been mixing frozen spinach with a little bit of vegetable stock and cooking it up in my scrambled eggs.

>>313013

That's a good idea.

>>313015

Cool banner.

What do the colours represent?

>>313013

The best laid plans…

>>313014

Sounds nice. I think I am going to try to make my own vegetable stock one of these days. Keep thinking about trying to go vegetarian again.

>>313019

I like the look of that cream filling.

>>313022

You could try asking him?

>>313019

you earned it mate !

>>313023

> not passive aggressive enough

An interesting story about the guy who lives on his own on an island. I have posted about him before.

https://www.news.com.au/finance/money/wealth/david-glasheen-moved-to-restoration-island-after-losing-37m-fortune/news-story/0d30deebedc73745c245b3b6e717bb60

>“At first it’s not easy,” he told the program. “But I was one of the very, very fortunate people that instead of maybe committing suicide, which a lot of people would have done, I found this place. “This island has restored me in every which way I can imagine.”

I need an island. Or even a big bush block. I need to be restored.

>>313022

How are you going with the lifting?

My current stats are 110kg on the squat, 115 on the deadlift and only 70kg on the bench press. All for five reps. I've been fucking around in the gym for the last month and not really made any decent progress but I think I'm back into the swing of it now. My bench was struggling along but I think I wasn't eating enough as it is progressing again. I've been doing push ups on the off days to help it too.

>>313023

I don't want to seem demanding, since he is doing all the work for free.

This morning I loitered around the general area and made a lot of noise in case he wanted to come and speak to me. He did not come out.

>>313026

The commune.

>>313023

He should take off another panel.

>>313028

How long has it been left there?

>>313027

My lifting is going fine. I lift every second day. I will no longer be publishing numbers. That is not what it is about for me any more.

>>313031

I can't remember. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks.

>>313029

No I think you need true isolation and solitude. Not stinky NEETs all around you.

>>313032

I wasn't trying to be competitive or anything. I was just being nosy.

>>313036

I did not think you were doing anything wrong by asking. It is all good m8. You are doing well.

>>313036

I bet I am nosier than you.

>>312952

You should worry about yourself

Lord have mercy upon us.

>>313017

The colors on the roster represent medal players, Gold is your best, 99 in all stats, Silver second best, 92 in all stats, Bronze, 85 in all stats. Regular players are 77 across the board.

>>313040

I don't mind it. The musical was always weird too. They look okay.

>>313040

your about a week behind the rest of us in getting triggered….

>>313041

There's four colours though, two different silvers.

>>313043

i didn't dare to watch it when it was new.

>>313046

I have to get the more expensive frozen spinach as the cheap stuff is Chinese.

>>313048

It's pretty easy to grow.

>>313049

Didn't even think of that. There is a bunnings just down the road so I'll look in to it. Cheers neet.

Never eat anything grown or made in China.

>>313049

Growing your own veggies makes them seasonal, you can't have them all year round.

>>313052

Plus many crypto-wagie neets are renting.

>>313045

i just went to /dan/ https://8ch.net/dan/res/1646.html#q1651

what the fuck is with that board…. it seems cursed

>>313053

if i had a garden it would be filled with …..

>>313055

Spread a fuckton of seeds out in the bush somewhere and see what happens.

>>313056

alot of the seeds are pozzed and only produce thebaine for industrial manufacturing of alkaloids…

good seeds are on my shopping list

>>>/dan/1651

An exclusive look inside the commune.

>>313057

I knew an old wog lady that grew poppies and pretended to not know any English when the police came. An old lady might be the way to go. You can always seduce her with your handsome neet ways, no woman can resist a neet.

>>313059

based and red flowered

I need to visit my grandmother but I always dread it for some reason. I'm going to see her today.

>>313044

Yeah, that last color is the Regular Players. The ones that are 77 in all stats.

>>313060

Well bantered

>>313052

You probably could grow all year round with the right greenhouse setup

TV and nap time.

>>313013

I did a recent cull of useless boards myself about a year ago and it was definitely a positive change. Good luck neeto

>>313064

A lot of work for some spinach.

>>313059

I wonder if this trick would also work for exotic tomato plants

‘NOT ONLY DO PEOPLE CLIMB IT, THEY DEFECATE AND URINATE ON IT’

https://www.news.com.au/travel/australian-holidays/northern-territory/id-do-it-again-if-i-could-tourists-defiant-uluru-comments/news-story/e8280aec28bb9759afad14e30e069e57

>>313071

now that would be a worthy poo pic

>>>/christian/822913

Hmmmm.

>>313074

webbys wock

>>313075

possums pebble

12:43 PM

>>313076

cruiseys crag

>>313078

shiteys stone

monks mound

https://www.smh.com.au/national/bad-science-australian-studies-found-to-be-unreliable-compromised-20190719-p528ql.html

'Bad science': Australian studies found to be unreliable, compromised

By Liam Mannix

>Hundreds of scientific research papers published by Australian scientists have been found to be unreliable or compromised, fuelling calls for a national science watchdog.

>Over the past two decades, 247 scientific research papers - some associated with the country's most reputable universities - have been found to be compromised.

>The database reveals the scale of scientific misconduct in Australia, although senior scientists claim it is just the tip of the iceberg.

>>313082

All that work and none of it is more usable than the discourse in our neet threads. Wagies never learn.

Patiently waiting for shiteys update.

Patiently waiting for knockoff and picking up the virgin

>>313084

don't rub yourself raw before that time comes

Shitey no longer cares for us.

>>313084

Don't forget the Crisco

Work keeps calling, making me do shit.

>>313089

How could anybody look at that woman and find it attractive?

>>313091

When you are a beta you lower your standards and convince yourself you find ugly women attractive. It is a psychological process. The brain can't admit to itself that we are not good enough for a beautiful woman, so it convinces us we actually prefer an ugly one.

Preserving our ego is one of our brain's primary functions and leads us into all sorts of problems.

>>313092

>>313091

Now kiss.

https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/politician-cries-over-deepfake-gay-sex-video/news-story/2abb35127272b0f249a5fe45e8d85342

"deepfake" lol

>>313092

Are you the guy who tried to tell us why we were all angry at Shitey the other day?

>>313096

Possum you boong.

https://www.news.com.au/national/nsw-act/crime/cops-release-images-of-three-men-in-relation-to-alleged-indecent-assaults-on-sydney-public-transport/news-story/a135266767d37c53795d80ec06490b90

Distinct absence of white sex pests

>>313088

how long till your next ceenobux ?

>>313099

Seven days.

>>313098

Whitey favours parks and murders his victims after.

>>313100

OOOOOFF

yep mine came through on the 19th and im already skint… need to ring SPER and haggle them down a bit ..

Finished hopefully shift shit.

>>313103

Have a lunch

>>313104

Shit..

I haven't even had one.

All this wageing from home has disrupted my plans of NEETlyfe.

I had weetbix for breakfast and now I've got a chicken breast cooking in the oven. If I'm not too lazy I'll be having some steamed green beans with it.

>>313106

>weetbix for breakfast

How many?

What kind of milk?

Hot or cold?

How much sugar?

Thank you.

>>312927

>>312923

>>312952

>>313084

>>313086

Yes. Wanks, sex, dex, cunnilingus and shared showers

>>313106

Divine.

>>313108

Well done Shitey.

We need all the details please.

>>313107

6. Liddels skim milk I'm lactose intolerant, please kill me already and it was hot to help dissolve the tablespoon of honey I added to it.

Very hard to navigate this site on an iPhone

>>313108

You're dead to me.

>>313112

>lactose intolerant

How did that happen? Are you white?

>>313115

Jelly

>>313114

Use your tongue, you seem to know how to navigate with that.

>>313117

Yes

Shitey's shower sex

>>313116

I am.

>>313114

>iphone

>>313091

He probably looked at white boomer the same age, that's how.

>>313121

>>iphone

Just when you think you've got his Chad level pegged, he pulls out another surprise.

>>313123

Looks good. Is that papadelle?

>>313121

>>iphone

At this point, none of us are in a position to judge.

He is the way, the truth, the light.

>>313123

Looks nice. What is in it?

>>313123

yummy

>>313128

cummy

Fucking phantom itches in nerve damaged areas.

REEE

>>313129

bummy

>>313130

Scratch it.

Can’t preview posts every time I want to reply to a post, it jumps me back to the top of the page to reply and then I have to scroll all the way down to the next posts I want to reply to and rinse and repeat. You may not realise it but I put a lot of effort into my good morning posts because of this

>>313125

Nah it's egg tagliatelle. Never cooked with this pasta so i accidentally made too much pasta which is now sitting in the sink drain opening, clogging the water.

>>313127

Beef sausage, mushroom, thickened cream, white wine, fucking chop it you slack cunt , tagliatelle pasta, parsley and cheese. Is quite nice

>>313134

>fucking chop it you slack cunt

Interesting filter

>>313111

I’ll type up the details on my iPad Pro later on, it’s too hard to type on this phone

>>313121

It’s an iPhone XS 256GB

>>313136

>I’ll type up the details

I look forward to it.

>>313134

>Beef sausage

Where sourced from?

>>313132

It does nothing, just cuts the skin. The itch remains.

>>313140

Distract yourself with an engrossing activity.

>>313140

Scratch harder.

>>313133

Your good morning posts are appreciated.

>>312924

>>312927

>>312930

>>312931

>>312937

>>312968

>>312969

>>312970

Good afternoon

>>313144

Your effort is much appreciated, good afternoon Chadman

Going to go spray the backyard.

>>313136

Did she cum?

>>313147

Crude.

>>313146

Mark your territory, good move.

>>313146

Gross

>>313149

With all these strapping young chads about the area, us old NEETs need to reaffirm our position.

>>313150

I think I got some in my mouth too.

>>313148

We need to know if his performance was outstanding or merely perfunctory.

>>313153

I doubt that was what the OT was for, his functional capacity in making kittens purr is above standard, I'm sure. She came back the next night.

>>313155

Sticks to the roof of my mouth, better have another shower or I may have some sheNEETs hunting down my musk.

I am going to have a bottle of wine tonight.

>>313155

having a wank to this girl right now

>>313157

Two glasses is the appropriate serving size.

>>313159

I shall have 5.

>>313160

Gluttony

>>313161

and 5 Herbert Adams shiraz and pepper party pies.

>>313162

>party pies

Effeminacy

>>313160

Do you drink it out of a proper wine glass or a coffee mug like a common NEET?

>>313163

You're all very hurtful toward me lately.

>>313164

A wine glass. I have different glasses depending on the wine being consumed.

>>313163

>Effeminacy

>>313166

You are a beacon of class. Very nice.

>>313165

Hypersensitivity

>>313167

You highlighted this but not perfunctory?

>>313168

i'd give it all away to be an ignorant chad

>>313170

Enviousness

>>313172

Envy would be the more correct use of the word.

looking for a bit of hosepipe, about 10cm or so.

why the fuck do all the hoses these days have metal fittings on the end? Can't get em off.

now ive got to cut up a bit of broom and hammer it into shape.

>>313173

Correctiounious.

>>313174

Bonghead

>>313173

punctiliousness

>>313174

boong life problems.

>>313179

Is that OC? Very good image.

Oversized scrotum.

I am trying to think of ways to manage my food addiction going forward. I don't think restricting myself to the correct number of calories will ever work. The urge to overeat is so overwhelming. I think I am always going to be an overeater.

I am considering the plan I had before where I accept that I am going to eat too much and be obese all my life, but where I put in place strict rules about just what I eat. So no fast food, no overly-processed junk. No high sugar or pure carbs foods. Lots of vegetables, fibre and fruit.

Maybe then I can live my obese life without dropping dead quite as soon.

>>313182

Same. I started by giving up take away, it's been months since I've had pizza or any shit like that delivered. Soft drink is almost entirely out of my diet as well, I had a 600mL bottle of coke this Monday but that was it. Even then the carbonation of the drink did that thing where it kind of burns the back of your throat when you don't drink soft drink for ages.

I've also started cooking bean and vegetable soups and have been having those as my main meals for the past 2+ weeks now.

>>313182

What do you do for exercise?

>>313184

I lift at the power rack every second day and go for a walk each morning (mostly) but the harder I workout the hungrier I get afterwards.

>>313185

>>313185

Are you still gaining weight? If you are maintaining your weight but getting stronger you would be losing fat. I've heard that going to bed hungry helps as you can fast without much of the difficulty. I don't find it very useful myself as I can't get to sleep without having had a decent meal unless I'm absolutely knackered which I rarely am since I embrace the neet life so thoroughly.

>>313186

I have been gaining fat and muscle both. I have been yoyo-ing up and down for a year or so now. I will be on a diet for a week and then go on a blowout binge that gains more fat than I lost.

SCROTUM REDUCTION SURGERY

>>313188

That shit better not be covered by medicare.

>>313190

Wagies are paying for it. They're going to use my excess scrotum skin to make lamp shades.

>>313189

>Knight was largely reluctant to express any inkling of motives or insights gained through his experience, but he did offer that "solitude bestows an increase in something valuable, …my perception. But…when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. There was no audience, no one to perform for…To put it romantically, I was completely free."

>>313191

Full chandelier in NK's case.

horny

>>313189

robbing members of rural communities does not seem like an advisable method of survival

>>313188

They will use the removed scrotum skin for foreskin reconstruction.

>>313114

it's a form of normie deterrent

>>313108

Incredible.

>>313094

I'm a bit disappointed nobody has made a craig/dan deepfake

>>313179

Nice OC

Just had my first lunch, so much for three. That will be my only one by the looks of it.

I made felafel. Not bad for a first attempt.

A can of chickpeas, half an fucking chop it you slack cunt, some garlic, lemon juice, corn flour, bi carb, olive oil, fresh coriander, paprika, cumin, parsley, ground chili, white pepper.. probably other stuff, I can't remember.

Anyway, blended it, made it into little balls then deep fried it.

It tasted good but the temp will need to be altered and I think it'll need more flour, or less lemon juice. The insides were still too moist.

>>313201

Also, would've only cost about a dollar.

>>313182

Fill yourself up on staple foods, then binge on shit.

>>313201

Where are the pictures?

>>313203

Once I start eating shit I can only eat shit - I lose my taste for normal food.

Tiredness is overcoming me.

>>313192

That's a heavy quote.

>>313204

I know.. I need to try harder.

>>313205

You need to fill up on it so you don't have room for junk.

>>313207

Does the concept appeal to you? I see some sort of relationship there to that awful man's Zelig film.

>>313206

have a fap

>>313210

I was posting about that on a different board earlier today.

It does, but I have wised up to the fact that I don't and probably wont know myself to that extent.

>>313212

And that is okay.

>>313211

I am having a coffee.

orally

>>313213

You daytime NEETs don't post enough for my internet habits.

>>313214

Yeah.

>>313216

It would help if people took my cooking photos.

>>313218

*more cooking photos

wish i had some orange juice

>>313220

I have some apple and mango.

Managing a coughing fit with a mouthful of coffee is difficult, but I pulled it off successfully. Feeling pretty proud.

>>313220

Nuro has 5kg of oranges.

Time to commit the sin

>>313224

A rare Cruisey.

>>313224

Does your house smell of hot oil now?

>>313227

A bit and my eyes hurt.

>>313223

I have a 3kg bag myself but for some reason that never occurred to me

>>313226

No one ever gets rare Possum's anymore.

>>313230

Fuck them all.

>>313222

good work neet, another sucess story

>>313231

Extremely rude.

No more rare cruiseys until you be nice to them.

>>313234

this is not the emo edition

>>313234

this is not the emo edition

>>313237

>iktf

>>313237

>>313237

wew

Trips ———————————————————————————–→

333

>>313241

what did you mean by this

>>313242

You ruined it.

Thinking about getting rid of some more word filters.

I should've got big thick slippers yesterday.

Or ugg boots.

>>313244

You are exploiting a loophole.

>>313244

you should add more though getting rid of the filter would be nice

>>313247

You are better when you eat.

Virgins

>>313250

Olive

>>313250

deflowering

>>313189

Last true 'hermit'? I haven't spoken to another human being in 2 days.

>>313237

Should be a wojack.

>>313256

That's sexual assault.

>>313213

He has to get the word out to /pol/ about the gubbas raping poor black fellas.

>>313258

Fuck, I meant /pol/.

I came home and found that some dipshit postie had jumped my padlocked gate and hid a parcel in my gas meter box.

He left a card in the letterbox to say where he had hidden it, defeating the purpose of hiding it in the first place.

Anyway.

He must have rung my door bell vigorously and caused a major problem.

My house has a mains powered set of chimes that hang on the wall in the living room. They would date back to the 1950's or 1960's.

I came home to the coils buzzing incredibly loudly.

I called an electrician and left voice mail for him saying I needed it disconnected urgently.

After 10 minutes I said fuck it and took the cover off the bell transformer on the power distribution board in the laundry and disconnected the wires on the secondary side.

>>313260

Ahhh.

>>313259

The chad meat eating Bluto vs the virgin vegan Pop-eye.

>>313261

>jumped my padlocked gate

That seems very foolish. How high is this gate?

>>313264

The front fence and gate would have to be at least 4'5.

Anyway, I have earned my bottle of wine.

I can't be bothered digging out the oven manual to set the clock, preventing me from cooking, so I will get UberEats.

My JD Crowe thumbpick and 5th string capo (separate from the capo for the other 4 strings I mentioned the other day) arrived today from the US, so it's not all bad.

>>313261

>mains powered set of chimes

Cool.

>>313266

Can you post a pic of it with both capos on?

>>313215

VILE

>>313133

Hold down the quoted post on your mobile and most of the time a preview will pop up.

>>313179

Very nice.

>>313273

It depends on your connection speed, but I found it out recently. You had to hold it down without moving and the post should eventually pop up. But when it does load the options for opening it another tab and other crap option will also display.

>>313269

Sure. When I have finished gorging,

>>313277

That reminds me, I better go get my second lunch, aka dinner.

tahlia grool

>>313279

shitey better tell us about girl musks and discharge flavours tonight or else

>>313281

milk and salty coins

>>313280

I thought you were working in the faggot bicycle shop for a few days?

>>313282

milk and rusty pennies (or 1 and 2 cent pieces if you are old enough to remember them)

>>313280

You are hurtling towards a psychotic break and then institutionalisation. Probably for the best.

>>313285

would be better if it was psychotic break and then shot by cops

>>313283

had to reschedule … he couldnt pick me up from my place and i was not riding over to the northside on short notice late at night …

having a yoghurt

>>313288

actual yoghurt or some kind of girl discharge