CHICKEN CROSS: SPLATMAXXING PROTOCOL
Three tabs LSD + half bottle 190 Everclear. Blacked out, woke to jacked Hitler in black hoodie. “You summoned me with cent-bets, degenerate. Queue.”
8 days CS2 duo. No sleep. Meth + burritos. 2.7M aces, 94% HS. Screams “UNTERMENSCHEN” on clutches, blames Zionist netcode. Builds hamster gas chambers in Autodesk between rounds. “Maxxing SQUAWK throughput.”
Blackout: walls at 30Hz, shadow with my teeth, Hateful Star via prostate Morse. Hitler steps thru wall tear. “Let’s gamble.”
Chicken dopamine: butthole diamonds, soul leaves at 3x, SPLAT at 4.2x compresses all trauma. Bet again.
Snorts meth off grandma photo. “Respect ancestors.” Claims Haunebu moon base, Silver 3 for 80yrs. Space Jews + Epstein crew appear. 47M viewers watch me shit chair.
Haunebu launches. War settled Mirage deagle-only BO47. Hitler & Bibi mutual knife at mid. Draw.
Hamster builds mini Haunebu. “Going to Newgrounds.”
Still betting. SQUAWK.
You cashed out, degenerate. Clean your ass. —Vlad
(But I’ll click again.)
