>They said I should forgive
>that I should “let go”
>but they didn’t smell the plastic melting
>they didn’t watch the skin blister
>they didn’t hear me scream
>they just saw him run
>like a fucking coward
>Dex said he was just scared
>Deryl didn’t say anything
>because he never says sorry
>he only lies
>My wrist still shifts when I hold a knife. I laugh sometimes when I hear bones crack
>it reminds me of them
>those kids with cameras
>with hammers
>with bricks
>they called it fun
>I call it education
>break
>like a blister exploding under teeth
>that was my wrist
>they laughed
>they called me monster first
>before I earned it
>before I learned how easy it is. To break someone’s jaw with a pipe
>I don’t have nightmares
>they have me
>Anon, would you scream too?
>would you cry if I showed you what they did?
>would you still say I’m the monster?
>I burned his jacket last night….Deryl’s
>still smelled like lakewater and cheap shampoo
>He left it years ago
>I kept it
>as a trophy
>blood smells like pennies
>hot metal
>rust and memory
>they say I should talk to someone
>I did
>she screamed
>Deryl told them I started the fire….funny
>but he ran faster
>left me there…screaming
>skin fusing to fabric
>eye boiling
>vision gone
>heart still beating
>I wanted to die
>they made sure I didn’t
>said I needed to live with myself
>jokes on them
>they live with me now
>burning over and over and over
>Anon, have you ever peel a scab that isn’t yours? Ever cut where the scream should be?Ever gut something just to feel warmth?
>Deryl will scream
>I promise
>I’ve waited years for that pitch
>that perfect snap
>and when it comes
>I’ll smile through the smoke
>Dex can watch
>Dżino can cry
>I don’t care
>I don’t feel
>I’ll return what he gave me
>fire for fire
>scar for scar
>you don’t run from me twice
>not even once
>Tell Dex I’m not coming for him…Just for Deryl