imagine coping so hard your entire identity is being Europe’s feral backyard, land of gypsy warlords and professional pocket-pickers, “civilization” here means stealing copper wires to sell for 3 euros.
cringe larpers who think they’re Spartans/Illyrian gigachads but live in concrete Stalinblocks with stray dogs as national symbols, europoors malding that their “culture” is just Ottoman leftovers and cevapi-induced cholesterol career paths: crime, corruption, or crying about ancient battles they lost.
national sport: starting wars over dirt patches even goats wouldn’t graze on, air quality: 90% cigarette smoke, 10% burning trash (their version of renewable energy), unironically believe Tito’s ghost still runs their economy (spoiler: it’s a meth lab), most advanced technology: a bootleg BMW from 1987 with expired plates and 17 owners, Greeks and Albanians competing in the Shitpost Olympics for “Most Delusional National Mythos”, their “high trust society” is just 5 cousins scheming to scam the EU for infrastructure grants, will throw hands over a 500-year-old map drawn by a drunk monk, Borat-tier patriotism: flag tattoos, chest-thumping over villages with 1 dentist and 30 landmine casualties. Europe’s Florida but without the alligators or functional sewage.
