/otter/ - Otterposting

Can I marry an otter?

>>729

Yes!

>>729

The perfect otter is out there for you.

Believe in love.

100's of eligible otters online now, waiting to chat.

okotter.club/signupnow

First month free!

>>715

Any zoo that doesn't have otters is just not worth visiting. That's why I always check before going if it at least has some mustelids. Otherwise I find another zoo.

If I could kiss every otter in the world, I would do it… Passionately

>>611

Good things come in small packages:

>>668

I like 'em smol

>>609

>>668

There should be a balance of both. Smol and huge are both excellent in their own ways.

>>118

It's not a church, it's a cult.

>>612

Nah, we are peaceful people. We just like otters.

>>619

Otter is the animal of peace.

>>440

Monkeys clearly had it coming. When will they learn?

>Otters fight back against bullying

I see nothing wrong here

>>442

>You don't mess with otters, or they will fuck you up.

Law of Otter

Be kind to otters, and they will make you very, very happy.

Don't be kind to otters, and you will definitely wish you had been.

>>925

Very true. Only death awaits those who insult Otters.

>>723

>>724

Actually, if an otter wants my finger he can have it.

>>725

You're very generous anon. But I still think you should find an otter that doesn't demand that kind of sacrifice. It's a very short sighted otter that eats the fingers that pet it.

>>935

>De tous les chiens, le barbet était le seul qui eut conquis son amitié; elle jouait volontiers avec lui, mais elle chassait à coups de patte et à coups de dents les autres, et aucun d’eux n’était assez hardi pour lui faire de mai. Mais la plus précieuse de ses qualités était de me fournir autant de poisson qu’il en était besoin pour la consommation de la maison. Dès que je lui disais : « Ma petite bête, j’ai du monde, il me faut du poisson pour dîner« , elle plongeait dans l’étang, et en sortait pièce à pièce une ample pêche. Pendant le carême, elle était infatigable. A cette époque de l’année, le nombre des convives de ma maison, toujours assez considérable, grossissait encore par l’arrivée d’étrangers. Elle suffisait a tout sans paraître contrariée par le service le plus pénible. En voyage, j’avais toujours ma loutre près de moi, et si je passais au bord d’un étang ou d’une rivière, j’étais sûr d’avoir un plat de poisson pour mon dîner et pour mon souper. Mais il arriva que notre roi Jean, entendant parler de tous les côtés de ma bête merveilleuse, envoya plusieurs fois un de ses gentilshommes pour me la demander il me fit offrir en échange deux beaux chevaux turcs et autant d’argent que je voudrais : c’était comme si l’on m’eût fait entrer du charbon ardent dans le cœur. Je résistai longtemps mais à la fin, voyant qu’il revenait toujours à la charge, je me décidai lui en faire présent.

>Lorsque je mis ma chère loutre dans une cage pour l’envoyer à son nouveau maître, la pauvrette se prit à crier et à piauler si douloureusement que je me sauvai au plus vite en me bouchant les oreilles; jamais je n’ai autant souffert. Le roi la reçut maigre et triste comme une chouette. Aussitôt que quelqu’un voulait la caresser, elle montrait les dents. Le roi dit un jour à la reine : « Ma chère Mariette, qu’en penses-tu ? si je la caressais un peu ? » La reine jeta un cri perçant en le priant de n’en rien faire; néanmoins le roi approcha sa main en disant : « Si elle ne me mord pas, ce sera un bon signe, et dans le cas contraire, qu’importe on ne mettra pas cela dans les journaux. » Il la caressa donc, et, au lieu de le mordre, elle fit la mignonne ce qui réjouit si fort le roi, que depuis ce moment il jouait sans cesse avec elle, et il renvoya son oiseau favori le casoar, et le lyPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>935

>>936

>This otter used to be the pet of a Polish aristocrat during the reign of King John III Sobieski (1629 – 1696). It slept in his bed, as the story has it, and woke him up anytime someone came close to the bedroom like a dog would do. He also used to rely on his companion to provide him with fish, whenever he had guests, and to take it around with him on his travels.

>The otter gained the reputation of being such an extraordinary pet, that it soon came to the attention of the King, who decided he needed to have this amazing animal for himself. Our gentleman resisted as much as he could, but one cannot stand in the way of one’s king’s desires very long, and he painfully resigned himself to part with his friend.

>It took a little while for the animal to get used to its new owner, but the two of them finally got along so well that the otter became the king’s favorite pet, the one he favored over his tamed lynx and his cassowary. Unfortunately, one day it was wandering around in the gardens of Wilanów Palace, an unsuspecting soldier saw it, and killed it with a stick. He sold the hide for the equivalent of a few shillings. When he learned about this tragedy, the king gave orders for the man to be shot, but later changed his mind.

>The caption reads in the original French: “La loutre du roi Jean Sobieski.”

That's what it says on https://www.oldbookillustrations.com/illustrations/sobieski-otter/. Pretty interesting story

>>938

Ah, reddit's favourite mustelid.

They're alright, I guess. Eurobadgers are more aesthetic though.

I miss otters so much. It's been way to long since I saw an otter irl.

Don't know how you can miss otters you've never even met, but I do :/

I hope otters will visit me soon. I will make them feel right at home! All otters have a place in my heart.

>>944

kek.

Echoes of Camusfearna seems like a nice film. I think I'll buy the DVD from the otter shop.

Is there really so little otter-related media?

I need to fill my free time with otters

What about otter documentaries? I remember World of the Sea Otter was played on the Otter Movie Night. I thought there was another otter documentary but it isn't in my YouTube history.

>>631

he's even looking in the camera

that otter knows what's up

>>856

You think you're the artbiter of /otter/?

Only Otter can be the artbiter of /otter/.

>>858

Otter bites any kind of art it likes.

>>860

Ottering accepted

We prove that anon is an otter.

Let O be the set that contains all otters.

Further, let D be the set of all mustelids, and M be the set of all mammals.

We define

O := { x | x ∈ D ∧ x hunts fish },

D := { x | x ∈ M ∧ x is long },

M := { x | x is hairy }.

Trivially, O ⊆ D ⊆ M.

Therefore, we must show that

1) Anon is hairy,

2) Anon is long, and

3) Anon hunts fish.

For 1), if anon didn't have hair he would have scales or feathers. No being with scales or feathers possesses fingers, therefore they cannot post on /otter/.

Anon can post on /otter/ ⇒anon has fingers ⇒anon is hairy.

Therefore, anon ∈ M.

For 2), assume anon is not long. If anon is not long, then he would not be long enough to reach the keyboard to post on /otter/. However, anon posts on /otter/, therefore anon must be long enough to post on /otter/. Hence, anon is long.

For 3), we know that anon eats fish. In order to be eaten, fish must be hunted. Anon can eat the fish iff it has been hunted. Therefore if anon didn't hunt the fish, he could not eat it, which is a contradiction. Hence, anon hunts fish.

Anon is long, hairy, and hunts fish. Therefore, anon is an otter. QED

>>838

Flawless logic.

Have proved Anon=Otter

But therefore, Otter=Anon?

Are all otters anons?

This entire thread is otterly illogical.

Had this feeling at the zoo today

It's difficult to handle their astonishing beauty

How do you explain to someone what an Otter is? How do you put it into words? You can't, because the Otter causes every word in every language and every dialect to pause in a state of paralysis, unable to illustrate the magnificence of this particular animal. Otters are what brings happiness to the hearts of so many people even though they have never encountered one. An animal which can not be compared to any other animal that we know of. This is an animal which has made people smile in the most grievous of circumstances. Just merely thinking about Otters is enough to raise the burden from the burdened, and it is enough to replace the sorrow within the hearts with happiness. Otter is enough to liberate man from stress, sadness and depression. Why? Because Otters are life. They're every day, everything that you do, everything you wish to do, everything you dream, everything you are and aspire to be, the people that you meet, everywhere you go; all of that is Otters. So Otters are never just one thing, they're everything. Whenever I see an Otter my heart starts being faster and I cannot stop staring, this is how immensely and indescribably beautiful the Otter is. After a short time I begin feeling high, and even when I manage to take my eyes away I still can't ever stop thinking about them. Otters put me in a blissful state.

>>708

We may know what their insides look like, but we haven't discovered their secret

>>708

Even the inside of otter is cute.