No.13148 [Last50 Posts]
>Trying to do nofap since 2016
>Actually succeed for eight and a half months in 2017 so I know I can do it
>Relapse this January and just can't seem to get back on the wagon no matter what I try
>Try not to think about sex, it doesn't work
>Try meditation, it helps my mood but I still keep fapping
>Keep a checklist and use simple rewards like chocolate, doesn't work
>Try exercise and stretching, again it helps but I can't stop whacking it
>Actually get rid of my laptop so I can only use shared computer. Doesn't help, now I just fap when nobody's there
>Practically every change I make works for a few days, then I fuck up again and it no longer helps
All I really have to show for it is that most of my fetishes have faded or weakened considerably.
I don't like looking at porn, I don't like what it does to me. The fact that I managed to quit last year for an extended period gives me hope, but my inability to replicate it makes me despair.
WAT DO?
____________________________
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No.13150
Get checked for ADHD. The exact same thing happens to me, and I realize it's fucking damn near impossible to stop thinking about it.
I remember working out for a good 6 months on ketosis and losing weight considerably, then fucking it up and gaining the 75+lbs I lost.
Thankfully I'm going to go to a psychiatrist soon.
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No.13152
>>13150
>psychiatrist
Don’t let them push any pills on you. Go back on keto and learn how to kill off the parasites fucking up your gut and head.
>>13148
Same for you. These bad bacteria in your gut from having a bad diet can cuck your will power and your endocrine system. Look into fasting and colon cleanses, repair your natural microbiom and you’ll have more willpower. I’ve read extreme cases of naturopathic doctors administering kombucha enemas to cure autism. Your guts are your subconscious; give them a vacation, repair them and /nofap/ will get easier. Everything will.
t.one paleo meal a day
t.works construction in the sun all day
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No.13157
>>13152
This is great advice but I already eat right. Almost everything I have is organic and I consume very little sugar and processed food. I think what I need to do is get a job. The major psychological triggers to my addiction are fear and boredom, so I really need to get out into the world.
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No.13175
OP here, I've finally managed to get a decent streak going, and I'm on Day 5. This is better than I've gone in the last two and a half months and I already feel noticeably smarter and calmer.
Changes I've made since last time:
>I've started caring about streaks again. Everyone says not to do this but I find that I need to apply some sort of pressure in order to remain motivated. Lots of people talk about nofap exclusively in terms of self-improvement and that's important, but I think you need the stick as well as the carrot.
>Whenever I touch my dick, I lock my throat so I can't breathe. This places a limit on how long I can fap for and also will hopefully lead me to associate fapping with an unpleasant sensation. I haven't actually had to do it for more than a split second so far, though.
>I've given up thinking about anything sexual. During my streak last year I still allowed myself to have these thoughts about women I saw irl, but that was letting the camel in the tent.
>I've give up all forms of escapism - video games, wishing that I were someone else, old school RPGs, etc. I need to concentrate on my well being in a real way
>I've given up the chans almost entirely, aside from this board
I still get urges, but they're far more restrained and easy to resist. Like a vicious animal that's been chained, but still lunges at you.
A question for my fellow rebooters: How do you deal with the fear that you'll relapse? Probably the right answer is "don't think about it", but what are some ways to avoid thinking about it?
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No.13177
>>13175
Those are all good changes keep it going.
>How do you deal with the fear that you'll relapse?
I never really “feared” relapse per say, I was more concerned with fending off urges and looking forward to a better future. Not wanting to let down anons here has helped a lot tbh.
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No.13183
>>13177
>I never really “feared” relapse per say, I was more concerned with fending off urges and looking forward to a better future. Not wanting to let down anons here has helped a lot tbh.
That's interesting, when I'm on a streak I enter a sort of psychological mode where I feel no urges whatsoever 95% of the time and strong urges the remainder. Days 4-5 and 13-15 seem to be the hardest for me
DAY 7
I forgot to mention that I also A) browse this board or yourbrainonporn for a little while every day to remain motivated and B) I've tried to stop engaging in negative self-talk and focus on encouraging myself instead. Both of these have been immensely helpful.
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No.13192
DAY 9
Since yesterday I've been feeling a bit strung out. They say that your t levels crash on days 8-10 of nofap so that makes sense. The urges have been stronger, but still nothing I can't overcome. Since yesterday I've been doing quick candle meditation sessions whenever the urges get strong. It's better to be actively channeling your frustration rather than passively resisting it.
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No.13224
DAY 12
I'd like to say I resisted my urges, but I haven't really been having any. Like, on all my previous streaks, I often relapsed only to stop myself in time, or I had to employ iron willpower and distraction techniques to prevent myself from marching off to the nearest computer and 'bating. Now, it's more like "I had sexual thoughts and it took me a minute to dismiss them, instead of the usual second or two." I can't get careless, because any one of these thoughts could potentially rekindle my addiction, but it's encouraging nonetheless.
I keep a private journal but these anonymous updates also really help.
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No.13226
>>13148
Have you tried being busy? When I'm at college for most of the day and have a ton of shit to do the window for fapping is significantly smaller than when I'm going full NEET.
Try college, go learn something you're interested in.
>>13152
>all those file names
Are you some sort of ifag poster? Did you save those files with those names somewhere else?
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No.13227
>>13224
Hey man, glad to see you keep up with those logs.
It's pretty amusing to see how nofap affect others. Me, I'm currently at the end of day 9. To your opposite nofap since to make me more aggressive than before, I also browse the board way more regularly even though it is a slow one.
Anyway keep up the good work, you are witnessed
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No.13228
>>13227
seems to* make me more
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No.13248
>>13227
Aggressive how? nofap enhances my sex drive, sort of, but from now on I plan to ignore that for a while.
Day 14
It's officially the two week mark, around the time when many of my other streaks were broken. Right now I'm feeling good about my chances.
I'm also spending a lot less time on the computer. a few months ago I was glued to the computer screen for probably 80+ hours every week, now I'm spending closer to 35-40. I'm not doing all that much with this extra time yet, but I'm slowly doing more with it.
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No.13257
>>13248
Aggressive like feeling way more ready for action. Not jumping to it, not really provocating but I sure as fuck ain't copping with no shit if I'm busy.
Back to day 1 btw but I'll follow your thread. I ain't even mad considering I didn't planned to start nofap and I already saw a few improvements. Let's go for another 10 days then I'll see.
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No.13258
>>13257
Ah, gotcha.
DAY 15
I'm currently in the state of mind that's led to most of my relapses in the past, and I promised myself I'd try to describe it here if/when I felt it again. There's sort of a vague pressure in my brain, concentration around the center of the forehead, and diffused to make me feel generally tired and slightly tingly all over. Behind this pressure is the urge to PMO, not due to any stimulus (I've been doing a good job keeping myself away from images and thoughts that might tempt me) but probably just time spent. I can distract myself from this by focusing on good things - visualizing myself succeeding, doing some work, providing positive reinforcement, etc. This slightly reduces the pressure but doesn't totally alleviate it. It just sort of comes and goes when it feels like. As of now it's lasted around three hours. I haven't come close to relapsing yet, but there's a higher risk of it now than before.
Does anyone else get like this? Am I describing it in sufficient detail? Any tips on how to avoid relapsing when you've got strong urges?
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No.13262
>>13258
I'm not at that point yet but I hope you're holding up !
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No.13265
>>13262
Damn right I am!
DAY 17
I had a really strong urge this afternoon from around 1-5 that literally sapped the strength from my limbs. It was exhausting. I dealt with it by meditating, reading anti-porn material, taking a cold shower, etc , and (frankly) by spending most of it running errands.
Some general observations:
>It can't be overstated how important "keep your hands out of your pants" is. I barely even scratch my balls anymore.
>Avoiding visual triggers is equally important. I've quit a couple of my nerd hobbies because they frequently feature illustrations of scantily clad women. totally worth it.
> for some reason I have to urinate a bunch when I get these strong urges. No idea why.
>my captcha for this post was 'biackd' which is suspiciously similar to blacked. Fuck off, illuminati
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No.13268
End of day 9. Not feeling too great.
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No.13272
>>13268
Stay strong bro!
DAY 18
>No strong urges so far
>It helps to remind yourself that what you're feeling isn't sexual desire, but addiction withdrawl symptoms
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No.13289
DAY 20
I thought I was in a flatline the last couple of days, but not really. It was probably just the crash period of my testosterone fluctuation cycle. As of this morning, I feel filled with an incredible energy. I can do things(I started working as soon as I awoke, at 6 30 in the morning, then did some pilates, then an hour of chores, then cooking) and I'm still not tired. I'm doing visualization now, and though I'm not yet great at it I find that it helps to even visualize short term errands and tasks, not just your final goals. You know, reaching for what's currently in reach.
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No.13294
>>13272
Don't worry Anon I'm still going strong. It was just one of those flatline days.
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No.13295
In order to stop masturbating, read about Nikola Tesla's life and inventions and then study… Ezra pound and Eustace Mullins on the federal reserve. They were christ-like enough. Erowid.com is an excellent website. And swimming is the best exercise.
Don't read Ted kaczynski's manifesto. It's too depressing/true.
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No.13298
>>13295
>Don't read Ted kaczynski's manifesto. It's too depressing/true.
Do read it, it's one of the best general summaries of the problems modern society faces
DAY 22
Feelin' good! I still need to suppress my sexual thoughts, but their tone has increasingly changed the past few days. Now what I primarily want is a deep emotional connection to a woman, with the physical aspects of sex being secondary. I don't want to indulge these thoughts, though, as that's part of what destroyed my last major streak.
https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-thoughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558/
This article is a must read for anyone trying to quit. I agree with practically everything he says except for not worrying about streaks.
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No.13317
>>13226
>iFag
Yes. I needed a contract phone to raise my (((credit score))) and buy a house smh.
>>13298
>>13294
Stay strong, day 21 is when your feedback loops normalize so reinforce the repairs by starting positive habits. Then after 21 more days quit another bad habit and start another good one.
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No.13319
>>13317
Nibba from my experience week 3 is when shit really hits the fan. I never got past 1 month.
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No.13321
>>13148
It honestly feels your problem is a porn one instead of a fapping one; I'd first focus on that.
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No.13323
>>13321
They are intimately connected and I want to give up both. I've tried only jerking off and eschewing porn several times, and it never worked long term.
Anyway, why bother quitting one when you can quit both?
DAY 26
I think I'm in a flatline actually, my mood is good but not as great as some previous days. Interesting how the stages are a little bit different for all of us.
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No.13324
>>13317
>getting into a contract to raise credit score
Good goy.
>>13321
Trying to quit porn but not quit fapping never worked out for me.
Its kinda comparable to trying to quit smoking by vaping.
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No.13348
DAY 29
Every so on my streaks I get this really pleasurable pulsating in my forehead, which I take to be my dopamine receptors healing. On my previous streaks it happened every few weeks, but now I sometimes activate it meditating and it lasts longer, often several minutes. This is a good thing.
Dunno what else to say. Oh, I passed an important certification exam for my chosen career earlier today, with flying colors. I actually got a perfect score, which really makes me proud. I'm getting a lot smarter.
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No.13353
>>13348
And he still goes on !
Pretty impress with that certification exam and perfect score. Would you say it is thx to /nofap/ ? Or does /nofap/ makes it somehow harder because you wasn't sure it was worth it since you had no secondary satisfaction ?
Just curious. I didn't get the pleasurable pulsating thing.
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No.13359
>>13353
DAY 31
>Would you say it is thx to /nofap/ ? Or does /nofap/ makes it somehow harder because you wasn't sure it was worth it since you had no secondary satisfaction ?
Easier. Absolutely easier. Even going a day without porn makes my mind noticeably sharper, and once I get past the two week mark(which I rarely did) the effects begin to snowball. It's different for all people but the effects of nofap for me are overwhelmingly positive, and the negative effects are relatively mild compared to what some people here seem to go through (trembling, wild mood swings, etc).
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No.13360
>>13359
I gotta say my mind has really gotten clearer as well. I'm not sure how much of it is due to no-fap and how much is from the other changes I made.
I have experienced mood swings that were not too bad. I've had high energy days, and low energy days, and neutral days… Although I did become shorter tempered at the start.
Never experienced trembling or anything crazy like that.
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No.13381
DAY 35
Sexual and escapist thoughts are a bit more common, but still easy to suppress. I need to get more involved working on my career. I'm not much of a self starter and that needs to change.
PIC RELATED: Artist's depiction of my body recycling unused sperm for its nutrients
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No.13405
DAY 37(in a row??)
Stronger urges today, but I never once came close to even attempting to give into them, and I was all alone in front of a computer for most of the day. I'm gonna make it, bros!
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No.13408
DAY 38
I remembered the dream I had last night, for probably the first time in months. The content wasn't too extraordinary, but I remember the events with relative clarity and doing so is oddly satisfying. I attribute this to nofap.
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No.13410
>>13408
Day 30
I had my first lewd dream last night (technically this morning). I was doing lewd stuff with a woman and then got cockblocked by someone half way in.
Perhaps it was my subconscious preventing me from wasting my precious nutrients for nothing. I got some pretty bad urges to fap right before I went to sleep so thats probably why.
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No.13434
>>13410
Huh, I usually get urges in the mid afternoon and only rarely at night
DAY 41
The pleasant but mild tingling in my ventral striatum has gotten less intense, but 'deeper', somehow. I don't know how else to describe. I haven't been tempted to j/o as much though I still need to push away intrusive thoughts as often as ever. My mental stamina has increased even further, right now I'm doing Khan Academy's science courses to get back to speed on stuff I should have learned in high school.
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No.13458
DAY 44
It occurred to me that I don't really put as much detail into these updates as other people in their own threads. I dunno why, I guess I'm just naturally reticent about this stuff. I tried making reboot threads on a couple of forums in the past, only to stop updating them out of shame. The anonymous nature of this board really helps. Also, I do keep more detailed logs but they're in my daily journal.
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No.13460
>>13324
>Good goy.
A two year necessary evil to buy a volkish homestead. We got lucky and found a owner 8 year contract(rent to own) so no 30 year (((mortgage))).
>>13410
>>13458
Great job you two. Never slacken; I’m on month 5 and still have rough days occasionally. It get way easier after day 90.
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No.13473
DAY 47
I'm officially over the halfway point to a 90 day streak. I know there's nothing really special about hitting 90 days, and that the goal is to go your entire life without ever fapping or looking at porn again, but it's nice to have a benchmark. I didn't mention this yet, but I promised myself a reward for clearing 60 days - I'll start playing one particular video game again in my spare time. It's the kind that's unlikely to induce me to relapse, so I don't think much harm can come from it.
Also, I like what the deadman dude is doing in his thread, so from now on all of my updates are going to have a nature photo/painting included. A bit broader than gundams, admittedly, but I find it pleasant. Check file name for artist/etc.
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No.13478
DAY 48
Since last night or so the sexual thoughts have gotten a bit(a bit) stronger. I'm sort of experiencing the same period bouts of fatigue and energy I went through around days 18-20, only weaker. This probably isn't the last rough patch, though, so I'm going to remain vigilant.
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No.13487
DAY 50
I got major blueballs yesterday + today dunno what else to talk about
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No.13490
Should we make a dedicated thread for our everyday thoughts and progress? Seems like they're split between two threads.
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No.13505
>>13490
They seem intertwined to me. I'll continue posting on this thread.
DAY 53
Right now it's not exactly hard to suppress my sexual desires, but it's more… irritating. I can't even glance at an attractive woman on the street without batting away a swarm of minor urges later. Fuck, I hope I leave this phase so I can start to live a normal life(I was going to say 'again', but I've never really had one yet).
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No.13508
Day 46
Time is really flying by. I think I'm in a flatlining phase lately. The cyclic moods are the worst part of no-fap.
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No.13518
DAY 55
Damn I came closer to relapsing today than I have in my entire streak so far. Dunno why, but it was preceded by a period of extreme ennui. I mean, I never actually looked at porn but I was about to, and I got that familiar pounding in my head that's always been a warning. The urges really do seem to come out of nowhere during this period.
BTW, has anyone told people irl about their nofap goals? Like, a gf or a priest or a buddy or something? How did it work out? So far I have not, and I don't plan to; I'm just curious.
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No.13533
>>13518
>almost fapping
Hahaha yeah I know that feel.
>have you told anybody about nofap
The topic of porn or fapping has never come up yet.
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No.13549
DAY 58
Yeah, my urges seem to have faded now. I'm not really sure what to do update this thread with. Like, lots of dudes talk about their efforts not to fap but I haven't really had to put in much effort. It's all 100x easier than any of my last streaks and I'm not entirely sure why. I do plan to add something here, though.
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No.13558
>>13549
>t's all 100x easier than any of my last streaks and I'm not entirely sure why. I do plan to add something here, though.
You should keep posting here no matter what, even if it feels easy now you never know when an urge will hit you like a freight train.
After all, you're not at the end yet, I assume 90 days is your goal, but what do you plan to do after that.
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No.13573
>>13558
>You should keep posting here no matter what, even if it feels easy now you never know when an urge will hit you like a freight train.
You're absolutely right. This thread has been a great help to me and if I hadn't maintained it I might have broken my streak by now. I'm just not sure what to talk about if it's not my struggles. I'll think of something later or w/e
>After all, you're not at the end yet, I assume 90 days is your goal, but what do you plan to do after that.
Well, my goal is 'never fap or use porn again for the rest of my life'. Every day I don't relapse is a triumph.
DAY 59
Feeling that tingling in my head again, slightly less intense but 'deeper'
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No.13592
>>13518
>BTW, has anyone told people irl about their nofap goals?
Yes. It turned out he was on about a month streak when I was around 90 days but we didn’t talk about it at the time while he was visiting. About two months later he was visiting again and asked if I had tried it. I said I was 4.5 months celibate, he told me about his streak and that he broke it about two weeks after his last visit. He said that had he known about my streak that he might not have relapsed. He’s on another month streak and now we know to call each other if shit gets rough. My advice is if masterbation comes up be proud of your streaks, you may help someone else and yourself.
>>13573
>Well, my goal is 'never fap or use porn again for the rest of my life'. Every day I don't relapse is a triumph.
I’m proud of you anon.
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No.13617
DAY 62
I said I was going to write something new, so here goes
I'm probably a good half decade older than most of the posters on this board, if not a bit more so, and I've done nothing with my life. No girlfriend (ever), I've never been anywhere interesting, I have no friends, I have no skills, and I have absolutely no stories to tell about my experiences. I want to change this, of course, I want to be a better, happier person, but at the same time I think I'm somewhat attached to my current rut. My job is easy and pays the bills, barely, but there's no room for advancement and I don't want to be stuck at the same pay level doing the same monotonous shit my entire life.
So I picked a new field, prepared myself for it, and now that the time has finally come to break through, I'm paralyzed. I've spent so much effort to get into this new thing but I'm scared of losing what I have, even if what I have isn't very good. Wasting my twenties has sort of left me in a trap of complacency I'm going to have to work very hard to escape from.
I don't want to make it sound worse than it is, I'm getting better, and I think I will break out socially within the next few months(I've already gone to a few things, etc) but… dunno.
Sorry for the confused ramblings. It feels really good to get that off my chest, though.
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No.13642
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No.13669
>>13617
A very normal (and sane) reaction. Fear of success. Fear of change. This is the time when you got to push into it. Really psyche is a shit just for that fact, even though you could go back at any time and stay in your complacency, the brain kinda freak out and tell ou there's a danger. There's none, you're doing great from what I've read. Plus, you're not the only one who felt like he wasted too much time and have nothing to tell for it.
If you ever really panic, just remember to set smaller more immediate goals. Like going out for a drink or something. I think you've got this.
Damn I wish I still had this pic with all the steps to overcome to success.
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No.13708
>>13642
>>13669
You're right, it's easy to feel as though your problems are unique, that there's something wrong with you, and I'm grateful for the reminder that these are issues that everyone has to deal with. Thank you both for the kind words.
DAY 68
I find myself changing. For as long as I can remember I was frightened of social interactions, especially with strangers(I had a few friends, and never had difficulty around my family). Whenever I went outside and hung out with people I did it out a sense of obligation, you know? I was just forcing myself.
Right now, though, my urges to socialize are getting stronger and they're coming from within. Because I'm not longer warping my sex drive with porn or using online forums as a substitute for a real social life, I'm finally, finally starting to come into my own. I'm still socially awkward, but I'll adjust, and while I might be awkward I'm no longer afraid.
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No.13746
>>13708
>DAY 68
Good job, you should post more often. Two anons have posted about relapses in their threads, and we need more anons like you to keep carrying the banner or however you want to phrase it.
>Right now, though, my urges to socialize are getting stronger and they're coming from within.
I'm happy for you anon.
>online forums as a substitute for a real social life
I wish I was as strong as you anon, but I'm getting there. Posts like this give me the strength to carry on. Good luck.
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No.13752
>>13746
Maybe I should post more often. Though I think once every few days is a decent schedule. I do compose a private journal entry every day to get my thoughts in order.
>I wish I was as strong as you anon, but I'm getting there.
You don't really miss them once you quit. It's mostly habit, and even then that fades quickly. It's much easier than nofap.
DAY 69
I've been sleeping more lately. Before my streak I usually slept maybe 5-6 hours a night if I was lucky, and suffered from insomnia. Now I can easily sleep more than seven, or around that much. It's not an issue of sleep schedules, because I've seldom stayed up late on the computer for the past year and a half. I've still only remembered two of my dreams in the past 10 weeks and kinda wish that was more. We'll see.
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No.13804
DAY 71
Shit, I came close to coming close to relapsing, just a few minutes ago. I was supposed to be working but I got bored and browsed a… suggestive site for around thirty seconds. I didn't look at any explicit pictures but I was about to. There's this numbing pressure in my skull that's slowly fading. I WILL NOT RELAPSE AGAIN. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH PORN. THAT PART OF MY LIFE IS OVER FOREVER.
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No.13807
>>13804
Good job resisting anon, try not to let it happen again.
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No.13821
>>13807
Yeah that's what fucked me over on my last streak… after the first five months or so, I truly felt I was cured and that I'd be able to resist any urge to fap, so I started idly looking at porn again, just for the hell it. Not too hard to figure out how that worked out, is it?
DAY 72
Haven't had any problems today. Does anyone else here have problems being judgemental? I'm very hard on myself and other people and I don't think the latter is conducive to a healthy social life.
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No.13833
>>13821
Aye, you forget why you even started, and then all the bad shit comes crashing onto your head again. Has happened to me many times before.
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No.13838
>>13148
I the goal of nofap isn't celibacy.
You should find someone to stick your dick into
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No.13861
>>13838
Shut the fuck up bitch
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No.13864
>>13833
Damn straight. I'll just have to accept that I won't be able to look at certain things anymore because they might trigger a relapse. Not that big a deal.
>>13838
Not that I'd know, but there are plenty of married men with a porn addiction. It doesn't seem to solve the problem for everyone. I'm more concerned with self-development than sex at the moment.
DAY 75
I'm experiencing a sort of mood cycle, bouts of self loathing and shame followed a few hours later by extreme exuberance. I haven't really figured out what triggers it yet.
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No.13876
>>13864
>DAY 75
Good job lab, almost to day 90 and beyond.
>bouts of self loathing and shame followed a few hours later by extreme exuberance.
How extreme would you say these mood swings are, if you could even call them that. Also, do you drink coffee?
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No.13945
>>13876
>How extreme would you say these mood swings are, if you could even call them that. Also, do you drink coffee?
Probably not that bad in the grand scheme of things. They don't drive me to do anything and I do not have thoughts of self harm but it can ruin several hours for me.
DAY 79
I'm still here. I'm moving forward with my career stuff but there's one more issue to be cleared up before I can start. It might take a couple of months but I finally got around to doing something about it today. Things are going reasonably well and there've been no real developments since my last entry.
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No.13953
>>13945
It's good to see that you're doing well anon, keep us posted if anything does happen.
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No.13990
DAY 83
I'm back baby! The last couple of weeks have been easy, but as of today it's gotten harder. I won't say the urges are stronger, exactly, but they're far more frequent. I have trouble keeping my mind on other things.
The reason for this is… I've been studying mathematics for a while, already finished Khan Academy and I've started working on a book of proofs. until recently I was sort of phoning it in - studying, but I was easily distracted and not trying that hard. Now, though, I find it's easier to concentrate and I'm starting to think deeply about the problems. Not that much, yet, but I'm able to make logical connections I couldn't have even a few weeks ago. So I'm wondering if my urges are a reaction to this somehow. Like, my addiction is resurfacing due to my fear of success.
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No.14005
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No.14009
>>14005
Tell us about it anon.
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No.14012
>>13990
>>14005
This was hard to read anon, you were so close!
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No.14022
DAY 1
Well, shit. The night before last as I was going to sleep I was tormented by constant sexual thoughts that would not go away no matter how hard I tried to banish them. I held out for about three and a half hour before finally giving in and having what might have been the least pleasurable JO session of my life. I think I relapsed due to video games, albeit indirectly. The stuff I was playing didn't have any sexual content, but I was neglecting my real life in favor of the games and that sort of got me back to old ways of thinking in other respects. So I can say goodbye to vidya for a good long while.
I know I'm supposed to feel disappointed with myself right now, but ever since yesterday morning I've been emotionally numb. Nothing to do but get back on the wagon, really.
>>14012
Check back in a few months
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No.14029
>>14022
Shit lad, i know that feel.
Try a cold shower next time, a good dose of pain usually helps.
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No.14030
>>14022
I only mention it because I've had a similar experience. I'd made it past the three months once, made it to the point where I'd stopped counting. Then all of a sudden one day in a moment of weakness, suffering in silence, I just let it go. Then the rationale kicks in, it's not so bad, then you're stuck doing it again. Kept down. Now I'm in the same boat, +25 days or so.
Keep your head out of those internet lie neon thighs, anon.
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No.14036
>>14030
DAY 2
No real changes thus far. I had some urges last night before going to sleep, but they were banished without much difficultly and I had an easy, uneventful rest aside from a strange and somewhat unpleasant dream which I remember. It involved some strange mystery plot about one of my siblings planning to murder me. It didn't make much sense and isn't based on any real life problems as far as I can tell.
When I broke my big streak in 2017 it was the result of months of stupid behavior and falling back into self destructive patterns. this time, though, it was sort of an anomaly as I'd done literally nothing that came close to it for the last 83 days. I hope this means it'll be easier for me to avoid relapsing again this time.
>>14029
>>14030
Don't hesitate to talk about it at all, It helps knowing that other people are going through the same things as me.
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No.14043
DAY 3
My brain is returning to normal, kind of. No urges or anything, and my mood seems a bit livelier. Even knowing how much better my life was without porn I'm still surprised by the degree to which a single relapse can send me into shock.
Also I'd like to thank Deadman and other nofappers - your examples of fucking up long streaks and continuing like nothing happened are very inspiring to me!
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No.14053
>>14043
Good job anon, don't let your past failures dictate your future.
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No.14055
DAY 5
Related to >>14053 , one thing I've been trying to do for the past few days is forgive myself for ever looking at porn. I tend to dwell on my past mistakes a lot, and while my shame over porn addiction has spurred me to action before, I don't think it's a healthful emotion to have nowadays. The guilt and self-loathing just keeps me focused on porn when I shouldn't be thinking about that garbage in any capacity.
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No.14071
DAY 7
Not much to report. I think I'm finally over the emotional hangover from last week's relapse today but the urges are a little bit stronger, sadly.
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No.14086
DAY 10
Last night I experienced a lesser version of the same phenomena that got me to relapse - just a deluge of sexual thoughts as I was trying to fall asleep. I'd previously resolved to get up and meditate if this happened, but I was just too tired and went to sleep without incident. Next time(if this happens again) I will do it though
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No.14127
DAY 14
A few nights ago I came really close to relapsing but I barely, just barely controlled myself. The problem was my deviating(unavoidably) from meditation, journal keeping, study, and other good habits I've cultivated. Need to make sure it doesn't happen in the future
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No.14149
>>13152
I remember seeing a ebook about something like this, do you have anymore info on how to maintain a healthier gut brain relationship?
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No.14170
>>14149
Lurk the /sig/ threads on /pol/. This copypasta is the only pdf I can find. ‘Brainmaker’ by Dr David Perlmutter is good, the Weston A Price foundation website has good articles. Go back on keto and use kimchi or sauerkraut as your 50g of carbs, or drink kiefer and kombucha to add good probiotics back in. The key is starving the bad bacteria/yeast, abstain from bread, grains and sugar(besides fruit) at all costs. Check with someone knowledgeable at your local health food store for advice on particular cleansing products. Lastly breath deep into your belly pushing your diaphragm down, this massages your organs and puts more of your consciousness in your gut.
>This Is Your Brain On Parasites
>"the parasite is going to alter dopamine, GABA, glutamate, and other key neurotransmitters at two hundred different places in the brain," said Evans, "so it's not surprising it's going to be subtly influencing human behavior" -or, if the cysts happen to cluster in certain regions, even contributing to psychiatric disease. "I do take seriously these reports of an increase in suicide and schizophrenia related to the parasite."
<http://am-medicine.com/2016/07/brain-parasites-pdf.html
>If it were me or someone close I’d recommend a high fiber diet to sweep any clogs and old shit out. Followed by the keto diet since fasting in winter is hard af. And supplemented with activated charcoal and diatomaceous earth to kill any parasites(worms or bacteria) then high doses of fermented foods to replace the friendly casualties. It’s important not to try healing the liver, kidneys, lymph or anything else until the gut is sorted, because a ‘clog’ would just accumulate and exacerbate the problem.
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No.14185
>>14170
I'll check Brain Maker out, thanks for the recommendation. I eat better than most people but probably don't consume enough fermented foods.
DAY 20
It's been too long since I posted a real update, but not much has happened to me so far. I've only gotten a couple of serious urges since that last close call, though my mind dwells on sexual stuff and I have to put a lot of work into suppressing it. Getting kinda tedious tbh
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No.14220
DAY 23
I got the epub for brain maker and imma read it in the next day or two. Otherwise, no real changes since last time. I'm feeling more of that pleasant tingling in my brain, which suggests I'm starting to fully recover from my previous relapse.
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No.14253
DAY 3
Yeah, yeah, I fucked up. Similar to how I relapsed last time but slightly worse. I could offer up a soliloquy full of self loathing and regret, but to be honest I feel great. Ever since this last relapse I've managed to successfully banish porn form my thoughts almost entirely, my attention span is stronger, and I waste far less of my time on the internet. I feel more energetic, too.
Obviously this isn't because I looked at porn, and I don't intend to ever do so again - I'm still totally committed to nofap. But I think it crystallized a few things for me, you know? Made me aware of habits I needed to changed, motivated me to alter them.
I finished Brain Maker yesterday. TBH there wasn't much there which I hadn't already picked up from various diet books and papers, but it was a quick read and it helped motivate me to start fermenting my food. Today or tomorrow I'm ordering a pressure cooker that can handle yogurt, Imma bottle some garlic with brine, etc. So it was worth it for me.
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No.14260
DAY 4
The urges are a bit stronger today, but so far they've been nothing I can't handle. The next few weeks will be a sensitive period because I'm worried any mistakes might take me off the wagon again.
I'm still far more focused and productive than before, albeit a bit tired today. I've read that many people trying nofap will fail for months on end, only to reach a point of deep despair and frustration, where the negative effects of PMO can no longer be assuaged by more PMO. This spurs them to action and they can make real changes in the meantime. That's actually the cause of my first long strong, around last April I had been watching porn for nearly half the damn day and I realized I was doing nothing with my life.
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No.14312
DAY 2
It's safe to say the past week has not gone well for me, since I relapsed three times in the last week. I'm getting quite worried that I'll go completely off the wagon and revert to my prior state, where I could scarcely go two days without PMOing. I was almost too embarrassed to write this post but it's important to be forthright and honest, you know? With myself and my anonymous audience.
I've managed to fit the types of urges I feel into three basic categories so I can figure out how to deal with them in a more effective way.
The first are momentary urges, the kind of sexual thoughts that just sort of hit at random. Usually, they're not too hard to dismiss but I've relapsed in the past due to getting too many of them. So from now on, I'm going to reflexively stretch whenever I have a sexual thought of any kind. If I'm not in the position to stretch, I instead picture something viscerally disgusting. The difference is that now I'm doing this EVERY time. No more exceptions or getting lazy.
The second type are the big urges. They seem to hit me out of nowhere and they're so overwhelming I just sort of lose my self control and start fapping in spite of myself. They're uncommon, and I don't know what causes them, but I think it's stress related. So from now on whenever I'm stressed I'll take preemptive measures to calm myself down - meditation, going on a break, walking, etc
The last kind I'll call cascades - a sustained period of desire that can last for hours and is sort of a general urge to fap, not necessarily accompanied by any specific mental images. Strangely enough, the experience is rather pleasurable, though the pleasure vanishes when I do look up porn. These are new to me, but I think the key is reading, especially books about art.
Okay, good to get that off my chest. I fully expect to start 2019 off on a five day streak!
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No.15567
DAY 22
I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS
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No.15580
DAY 24
I guess I should share what helped get me back on the wagon… well, in early february or so I decided that even if I relapsed, I wouldn't orgasm. I wasn't permitting myself to look at porn, just refraining from one of the worst aspects if I did. I was still trying to quit, and it helped, somewhat.
36 days of that and my current streak began. I was helped a great deal by this book I found on the main thread. The author is overbearing and acts like his method is a silver bullet, but that's honestly pretty close to the truth. He brings up a lot of stuff I've never even considered and would not have realized on my own. I can't recommended it enough.
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No.15642
DAY 25
Experienced a lot of exhaustion today… I used to think of it as a withdrawal symptom but now I realize it's more like a sign of healing- I'm tired because my brain is fixing itself, which takes a lot of energy.
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No.15644
try just watching porn but dont fap
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No.15648
>>15644
this anon knows best trust me goyim I should know, doncha know we run the porn industry for your benefit? it's only natural behavior after all!
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No.15664
I've been in a near identical sitation to you OP. the only thing that works/ed for me is accountability and reminding myself WHY i'm doing nofap.
So you need to focus hard on specific reasons why you are this doing. If you cant find a solid reason for doing it then you are likely going to continue relapsing.
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No.15706
>>15644
Yeah no
>>15664
Personally I think what's helped me is not the reasons I don't want to fap(I've always known it was bad for me), but understanding the real reasons I fap anyway. You need to understand that it's an addiction, not merely a bad habit.
DAY 28
Yesterday morning I got hit by an urge of the sort that would have instantly broken most of my previous streaks. This time, though, I was able to resist it without much difficulty. It's not really a matter of willpower, but understanding the truth behind the nature of porn addiction. (Seriously, read that book I linked, it'll change the way you think about nofap)
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No.15707
>>13148
You are halfway there. Do not give up! With time comes the will and determination.
Your heart and mind must be 100% concentrated on the task.
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No.15708
Resist and avoid all forms of temptation! It is a demon you must conquer!
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No.16228
>>15708
>>15707
Quite, quite.
DAY 30
I'm doing well. The urges have gotten less intense, but somewhat more persistent. I think of them less as something that must be fought off with willpower, and more as something to be destroyed by reflexive exposure to the truth behind porn addiction. It seems to be working.
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No.16238
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No.16463
DAY 33
I've had to deal with urges, but my new methods seem a lot more… definitive. On previous streaks it felt like I was withstanding or outlasting them, now it feels like I'm hurting them at the source. Though I'm wary of moralizing my own mental processes.
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No.16473
>>16463
The zen art work is very anti root.
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No.16481
>>16473
Thanks, there is something soothing about east asian paintings, isn't there? I think I'll keep on this riff for a few more updates.
DAY 34
I came close to relapsing today. The physical consequences were immediate and extreme, beyond anything I've ever experienced before - my hands were shaking uncontrollably. I stopped before it was too late because this scared the everloving shit out of me. On the other hand it means I'm making progress, a great deal of progress. I do not think I'll have to worry about another relapse after this.
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No.16493
Thank you OP for the inspiration. I started reading the hackbook as well.
Currently on day 11. My longest streak was 37 days last year.
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No.16495
>>16493
Great! I like to read success stories on yourbrainonporn.com for inspiration as well.
DAY 35
Yeah I'm already feeling much better. Usually on previous streaks when I came close to relapsing, it took a few days to heal, whereas now I feel almost completely back on track. Also, yesterday my fantasies were much less vivid and compelling than they used to be, even at that extreme I felt an instinctive reluctance to indulge in them further. I think I'm gonna make it, guys
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No.16508
DAY 36
This morning was rough but I think I'm okay. Quite proud of myself for resisting the most recent urge.
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No.16536
DAY 38
Last night was rough, but I ultimately came through. I've realized something important in the process - I used to be very frightened of getting cravings, and if one of them would make me relapse. It's better to simply let go of the fear. You're likely experience cravings no matter what, and they're ultimately just a part of the rebooting process. I'm just going to deal with them when they come up, and do my best not to worry about it meanwhile.
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No.16538
>>16536
this is good i''ve reached day 365 and i feel very energetic
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No.16539
>>16508
Morning is always HARDest for me
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No.16575
>>16538
That's inspiring to hear. One day I shall reach day 365.
>>16539
My worst urges usually strike at night, though I do have trouble in the morning sometimes.
DAY 40
My voice is deeper, though that's not entirely due to nofap. My skin is also noticeably clearer.
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No.16576
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No.16578
DAY 41(?)
I was cleaning my dick and I came, does this count as a relapse?
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No.16601
>>16578
told u to go no shower but u didnt listen
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No.16617
DAY 43
Fuck it, I'll keep going. I wasn't even really cleaning the sensitive part of my dick anyway, so I don't think it can even qualify as accidentally fapping.
Anyhow, I had a wet dream this morning. If my body has finally decided to stop trying to get me to 'bate and is resorting to wet dreams to blow of my excess sexual energy, that's fine. I feel a bit under the weather but I'd rather ruin a dozen pairs of boxers than edge once.
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No.16673
DAY 47
I've been having some rough times, but I've held on here.
I think it's important to remember that no matter how hard it gets for you, you don't hate yourself. If you really hated yourself, you'd be content to look at porn forever, because you'd truly believe that you didn't deserve anything better. We're all doing nofap because we love ourselves, and we need to keep that in mind no matter what sort of cravings or withdrawl pangs our hindbrain throws at us.
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No.16692
>>16601
No wonder the media loves parading that faggot as the face of white nationalism. Jews play both sides.
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No.18154
DAY 30
Yeah, I'm still here. Feeling good about this one. It's hard to say what I changed since it's been so long. I'll try and keep this thread updated at least once a week with my thoughts, though.
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No.18155
Day 39
The book I'm reading right now says to tell someone about your addiction. I dont have the money for a therapist and I dont want to tell anyone IRL, so instead I called up a mental health hotline and confessed to the operator. She was obviously uncomfortable and directed me to some other resources that could help me, but I still felt as though an enormous burden had been lifted. Still going strong otherwise.
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No.18157
Try to do nofap since 2019, most I've gone is a month. Very tough. Even if I avoid visual stimulation with indecent imagery, my balls start to ache after a week. Second week is almost painful in combination with the horniness, so I have to release in order for the aching to subside. Anyone know how to solve this problem, other than toughing it out? Going on 1 week. I've done plenty of lifestyle changes since 2019, creative pursuits, etc.
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