/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

Day 40

Time flies quite fast, huh?

I remember writing the day 78 of my previous streak lIke it was yesterday.

Things are going okay for me. The urges that I sometimes receive are not strong enough to bother me.

Also, I have managed to finish some things I had some trouble with and start some other things I have been wanting to start for quite a long time.

I felt a bit smug and disappointed at the same time when I got reminded about the no nut November meme IRL, because I don't lurk around the places with the fresh seasonal shitty memes unless I search for info about certain shitty memes.

It just presents nofap like it's a meme and makes the people exposed to it reinforce the fapper mentality with shitty "ironic" humor.

Barely anyone takes it seriously. It's just another thing to joke about.

Not that I care about it too much, though.

>>13629

Thanks. Stopping or failing now would be too much of a waste.

>>13736

Nah, man, I was just quite busy in the past few days. I wanted to update the blog earlier, but I thought it would be better to do it when I have actual free time (as in, "free time where I don't have to do anything serious"), where my chances to fuck up and relapse are higher than average.

>>13648

Personally I tried cutting on multiple harmful stuff with mindset like: "If I can't do something as simple as stop being lazy/indisciplined/overeating/eating sweets, then how will I stop myself from fapping?" Then I taught myself to become disgusted by a single thought about doing something I really don't want to do. Of course I applied the same thought processes to the PMO. Worked quite well so far.

>>13668

>>13704

Damn, I don't even know what to say or what to suggest to help you. I just hope that you will do better this time. Don't let any demon, spook or stray lustful thought get in your way.

Also that's a nice gif.

>the blackpills lowered my spirit/will

What blackpills, anon? Could you tell us about those, as long as they are SFW? Maybe we could discuss these blackpills so you would become less affected by them in the future. After all, it is just information.

Day 45

The urges are intense as shit; they just don't want to stop appearing. Neither do I want to stop resisting. For every second of my brain craving to unleash the lust I make sure struggle and resist at least two seconds.

That aside, my overall performance got somewhat worse. I think it's because I don't want to do the things I currently have to do. I guess it's just impossible for me to perfectly well do the stuff I am not 100% interested in.

I think it's time to post the reaps of the borning inner monologues that I have been having for too damn long. Right now I feel like my mind is full of insight, and every ounch of that insight is full of clarity.

Sometimes I even don't know myself what I want to do. As if I am not honest with myself whenever I think that I have a dream, a goal or a result which I want to achieve.

What would I even consider "being honest with myself"? Doing what I feel like doing (that is not self-harmful like fapping n' shit is), like sleeping and/or daydreaming 24 hours a day? My mind would be in complete unrest then, as I would be thinking that I am just wasting my time.

I think about optimizing my time and actions very often, and I am not satisfied at all. But why do I care about it so much? Do I have a good, solid reason for it? Would my life become meaningful for myself if I managed my time and actions perfectly and I knew about it? I don't think so.

It's like I want to build the perfect car out of my life/myself, but I have no idea for what reason do I do that; what exactly should I do with it? Where do I drive to? Should I make a killdozer instead and ram shit until I am out of fuel?

Strip this man of his hobbies, mental self-defense mechanisms, personas he wields, the bravado and lies he have been collecting and keeping in his mind as truth and you will just get a guy who wants to die. It can't become any more stupid and vexing than it is.

There it is - the retarded inner struggle a lot of people have, where the person's body, brain and survival instinct tell that exact person to live, bribe him, lie to him and make him lie to himself, and the person's mind points out how futile the life and being themselves are, and then it helps the person to reach certain conclusions.

Should a person become an animal and listen to his body, or should he be a human and listen to his mind? There's just no right answer, and answering "yes" or "no" to both questions at the same time is not an original nor better option.

When you are dead, you can't do anything anymore. When you are dead, you don't have to do anything anymore.

Also I find it incredibly fresh, satisfying and enjoyful to destroy or delete anything that I create. It's like I realize my freedom that is actually quite limited, open up new possibilities and bring myself closer to the state of "clarity" at the same time. I try to refrain from trying to create anything especially anything good, because I think I could get addicted to this shit, and I don't need that.

I know for sure what I don't want to do: things like wasting time, becoming a degenerate or letting in any of the addictions or bad habits in my life. I don't need any of that, as, honestly, everything is already shit as it is. I guess that qualifies as a good reason.

My fingers can't keep up with my thoughts well, so I guess I will stop here. I wrote enough, anyway.

Day 46

The day went alright.

I forgot to mention that I have been having a wet dream once in every 2 days in the past two weeks. Both the mess it makes and that certain feeling I get after it piss me off.

Day 47

I had a bad time sleeping because of another wet dream (actually not even a dream, I just woke up because of an ejaculation).

Many sources tell that wet dreams are not a bad thing and they are a sign of recover, but, surely, there should be a reliable way to at least make them appear less often? Maybe I am not suppressing the lust good enough?

It feels like my nofap progress is being stalled.

>>13875

>have you seen a doctor about that?

No. I don't think it is a good idea to seek support in nofap from the (((doctors))) that are usually against it, because, as you said:

>They'd probably just tell you to jack off.

By the way that would be true only in the best case. I'd expect a shit-tier (((suggestion))), like taking female hormones or using a hooker.

>Good job on day 42 anon.

Thanks (?) That was day 46, though

Day 49

It seems that, unlike the urges, the wet dreams finally left me alone.

Day 50

Another clean day.

I have to mention that most of the urges I had in the past two weeks were actually just very intrusive sexual thoughts. They are not a problem anymore. At least for now.

Day 54

The urges have struck again. I was not at my best when that happened, so, instead of instantly warding them off, I just got confused and then I got lost in thought. No relapses, by the way.

Day 60

I guess it's time to update the log.

A few days ago I understood that persistence is the only helpful trait I have.

Mindlessly crashing into my problems over and over again until they disappear and then forcing my way through have been the best method for me to live my life.

That's how my nofap is partly done. Whenever an urge arises, I tell my brain "no," "nope," "I don't want to," "I don't have to do this" or "nah, fuck that shit" until it gets tired and the libido forgets what it had been trying to do.

It doesn't work so good when I am mindful about it. I guess it's just because I am not focused enough if I have at least a single thought to spare.

Day 66

This week has been somewhat intense for me, and, surpisingly, I had very few urges since my last post. My guess is that it's because I had to be busy, and I kept myself even busier than it was required for me.

Day 68

Yesterday urges were intense as hell. I don't exactly know how I managed not to start lurking for porn or relapsing, but my streak is safe for now.

Apparently I have reached

Day 74

The nocturnal emissions are a rare thing for me now, and the daily lustful thoughts/urges are so half-assed that I have no trouble suppressing them.

The only difficult problem I have is that I am prone to oversleeping. I have already read about this topic and I made some preparations ready to prevent this next time.

Also I have lots of things to do; it is overwhelming, I am barely able to keep up, and knowing that I have to do it not to gain anything good, but only to avoid something terrible, does not helps. The thing is that I am really glad I am on nofap, because, if it were old me, then I'd break down from the pressure and waste my precious time on PMO. I would just clutter my tight schelude with useless shit, the worst type of procrastination.

Now, as I at least partially erased my ability to do that, it got a little bit easier pushing forward just thanks to the very thought about this.

>>14162

Nice to see you alive, too.

How much it felt easier to nofap while nolurking?

Day 85

I haven't noticed that this streak surpassed the previous one a few days ago. I even forgot I am on nofap because I don't have too much free time to think about it.

I'd say it's easier to nofap now. Nothing bothers me but a few occasional/random boners that disappear as quickly as they appear.

It's nice to be free from succubi's control.

Now I am very intetested in living through complete 365 days of nofap. It's not that I weren't interested into it before, but now this is my next goal.

Day 90

I HAVE AWAKENED

Day 96

There's still some time before it is 2019 in my timezone. I guess right now would be the perfect moment to make another post.

The urges bother me only in my dreams. I try to brush them off there, too, though.

Also my life is currently on the bright side. I wonder how long it will last, and how devastating and challenging any future changes will be. It is kind of exciting.

>>14286

I'm sure you will be able to become whoever you want to be, at least because it is not impossible.

>>14291

Yes indeed.

>>14302

Do not worry, I am currently working on it.

I hope the next year won't treat you all terrible.

Day 4 and I've already had urges to fap since yesterday.

>tfw randomly get reminded of cam whores and porn scenes for the dumbest reasons

Its gonna be a tough journey.

>>14332

I hope you are doing good; I saw this and thought you’d like it.

>>14379

It takes about 21 days to start feeling normal stick with it.

Day 104

A three-digit number of clean days already? Never really thought about me getting this far during this streak.

Today I had a worrisome dream, if not a nightmare, about me running away from a literal embodiment of degeneracy. Fucking succubi, get the fuck out from my dreams. I should have entered lucid dreaming mode and nuked that monstrosity away from my subconsciousness.

Surreal things aside, I am starting to lose my discipline because of myself thinking it is okay to slack off "a little bit" during holidays. Sabotaging myself and any progress that I have made in anything would be the worst holiday present I could ever have given to myself.

I have to go back to disciplining myself as soon as possible, even if I will be not good at it. I will be starting today.

Also I am feeling somewhat good, and I even have not been having serious urges nor I have not been hitting any flatlines since my last post. I should be cautious and get mentally prepared for bad shit to happen, since nothing good could last for too long. This knowledge does not hinders my motivation, though.

>>14383

I can't just ignore a pic of WH40K's Dreadnought. Fukken saved

>>14355

Just don't get burnt out to the point of relapsing by the next year. Don't let the cycle repeat itself.

>>14335

Speaking of guiding, I wonder if I should make a new thread once this one reaches the bump limit? It's mostly just a personal blog, but it may be helpful and motivational for someone who sees it on the first page.

Day 111

I fucked up my sleep schelude in a weird way a few days ago, so now I wake up very early and I go to sleep very early.

I get especially tired once the noon starts.

The point is that I have managed to do some stuff (mostly interactions with normalfaggots) I thought I would not be able to do (especially in a tired state) without dropping any noticeable spaghetti. I have impressed myself a little.

Also I'm getting daily dangerous woods, but my old methods of warding those away are still working well.

>>14468

Thanks man

Day 118

Today a ton of absolutely unrelated weird shit has happened to me. Actually, it had been going on since yesterday, and it still happens. I probably should get paranoid about it, but I don't feel like it.

I wonder what kind of unexpected bullshit I will have to deal with tomorrow.

Also my diet got worse because

>muh finances

>muh lack of time

So I have decided to supplement myself with <4 tea spoons of honey (a gift I got from my family some time ago) a day. I don't really like the taste (too sweet), but I need those fucking calories and vitamins, especially during winter. Kek, I guess that concludes my noglucose streak?

So far it looks like the only objectively positive piece of news I have is that I am getting back on track to my full training regimen. Thankfully I haven't degraded too much during the small period of time when I have been taking everything too easy.

Day 123

Suddenly, my life started to feel like it's on easy mode.

Also I am being clean for 4+ months, nice.

>>14671

What if I told you that every plane pic I have ever posted here was actually a pic of a transformed mecha?

Here you go, though.

Day 2

Okay, long story short, I fucked up on day 130/131 when I grinded on my bed while being half-asleep after almost waking up at night. There's no excuse for this shit, especially if that led to nutting. The nofap gods have not ignored this: they gave me some brain fog and a swollen peepee as a punishment.

I think the realization of this failure brought me back to my senses for a moment, though I still feel somewhat hollow. It motivated me to finish up some stuff that I have been postponing.

Though I'm really tired of me being able to do my best at anything only after I fuck up something (not on purpose). But the most awkward/fun thing about this is when "my best" is not enough for a result I would be at least satisfied with. It's that kind of determined momentary mindset that discipline can't give to you. It is incredibly helpful, but it burns itself out at the worst moment.

Still, I am glad I weren't too much emotionally invested into this streak. Otherwise, I'd be a depressive fap-marathoning wreck right now.

I hope you all will have great luck, grit and grip on yourselves. At least someone has to have these, right?

>>14927

Am I sure? Oh yeah I fucking am.

I can't seem to have a good streak as of late, so I will just lay off the internet for at least a month, but first, today I will prepare myself for a week of what >>12995 anon suggested a long time ago here.

I have to start going full-autism mode in other aspects, too, if I ever want to see at least a glimpse of a result. The way the things are, I wish to get beaten up half to death for losing my grip on myself. Such mindset is counter-productive, and I will have to make it go away by making things right.

Day 11

I kind of forgot about this thread and about being on nofap. My streak is perfectly fine, though.

I think that test week was effective. I mostly drew stuff, slept and exercised, though I felt anxious about postponing some of my projects, especially as I kept having a lot of good ideas. It weren't so obvious back then that, if I booted up my content-making hardware, I would actually waste my time on streak-breaking shit instead of anything else.

I won't try to keep this thread too active. I want to minimize my exposure to the internet, and there is a chance that I could slip and lurk around infinichan.