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/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

A support group for getting your fap addiction under control.

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RULES AND FAQ: https://8kun.top/nofap/rules.html

File: cbb1a421ff5fa30⋯.jpg (184.95 KB,1300x975,4:3,22102727-cracked-security-….jpg)

 No.12513

This might be long but I think it might hold some useful pointers to all of you out there struggling with this.

I have visited this place before, I have experienced relapses, guilt, shame, being disgusted with myself to no end. I have an addiction to to sick fetishes, hypno shit, abdl shit, even sissy shit that lead to trap fucked up tastes. Some of the damage I've done haunts me to the core to this very day, specific words, sounds or visuals I have linked to my weird tastes trigger very awkward and uncomfortable responses everytime I encounter them even when not looking for them. For example, last week at work, someone at work started sharing a cat video doing shit with techno music in the background, I recognized it from a sissy hypno video so I started to feel bad, my stomach started turning, I started sweating and I felt the urges attacking me from the shadows… This is why you need to acknowledge this as a REAL problem, a real addiction, and as such you can not let it take hold of your life and control you in any way.

I have literally cucked myself into being a retarded manchild, surrounded by toys and now that I think about it I "stopped" playing with action figures when I was 14, the same time most of my school buddies were already kissing and touching their first boobs. But when I got my first job I started collecting action figures eventhough I didn't play with them, just having them around made me feel good, like smalls shots of happiness delivered by post. Before I realized I was surrounded by dozens of them (Virgin Town population 1), even more but it didn't feel bad, who would critizise me? only my mother could, but has never pressured me into doing anything with my life because realized that being independant I can cut ties with her and never speak to her again if she makes me mad enough (yes, being such a looser I also have anger issues), and she can not relent her control over her "little baby" (this shit is probably what caused my abdl fetish deep down). She has to give me money, food and pay for my shit or she just feels her life is devoid of meaning, she should be enjoying her grandchildren by now but I am yet to experience what it feels to hear "I love you" , be hugged or even hold hands… I don't know if I'll ever manage to heal my mind to a "normal" state but honestly I want to start trying, REALLY trying. This is not her fault though, many people grow up with a single mom and don't end up fucked up like me.

Having been raised by a single mom she did what she could but could not provide for actual love since the whole reason she got pregnant was to get away from her mother

which was a religious fanatic, the moment she got what she wanted she divorced the looser of a father she chosed to use a sperm donor. So growing up she tried to make up for the lack of love/father figure by giving me every toy I could ever want and giving all the material shit I ever wished and more even. While growing up she approached me a couple of times with the question "Anon are you gay?" I guess because she would see all other kids into girls and me just wanting to perpetuate my childhood of playing and not worrying about getting involved with the opposite sex. My sexual drive would eventually awake but it would become distorted by my youngest memories revolving around trying to get old diapers out of a closet to put them on again. When I discovered masturbation that was it, I just put those two things together, masturbation and diapers, which in very short lead me to ABDL shit.

That was the beginning of the slippery slope for me, around 20 years wasted of my life dedicated to that and worse…

(cont)

____________________________
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 No.12514

A couple of weeks ago something happened though.

After having a terrible period of fapping once a day for almost an entire month I started spiraling downwards, not only depression started getting more deep in my persona but I couldn't actually stop, I "needed" to fap at least once before going to sleep, I would get flashes of sick images, mostly traps and hypno femdom stuff. I even started having pain in my testicles and stomach at the same time but it didn't seem enough for me to stop the urges to go deeper in degeneration… Until one day I actually stopped myself, and started analyzing my feelings, the discomfort in my balls, and my stomach turning over and over, I focused, and focused and focused more… and I was able to achieve a moment of clarity. Nothing that triggers this response in your body can actually be beneficial to your health. No matter the propaganda of "you better fap annon, otherwise you'll get prostate cancer".

>focusing in the discomfort caused by fapping so you can feel discomfort when you attempt to fap

This was followed without noticing by…

I have started doing chores, I have found that I can occupy myself with shit that I actually didn't know it needed doing. Cleaning thourougly the house, ordering my years of tax related paperwork, cooking for the whole week, preparing healthier desserts to have ready when the need for sugar attacks and also a very important thing that helped me change my mindset as well, started to get rid of my toys (not sexual shit, although I have a couple of those and seem to be the hardest part yet even though they are stored away and I don't even get close that box anymore).

As a total wagecuck wizard I have tons of action figures, hundreads of them scattered all around my apartment, since I don't have a girlfriend to take out on dates or even try to get on tinder and get to meet someone, really? inviting someone to Virgin Town? that sounds retarded.

>do chores, tons of them, invent chores, keep yourself busy enough and then add even MORE chores

Then…

* Something that I feel has helped me as well is K9 application, be sure to install it and use a password that reminds you of your goal "dontgiveup" "youcanmakeit" "dontruinit" "getclean" . It is a simple blocker that blocks the access to porn and shady sites like chans in general. You can even set it so it blocks any custom page you desire. I think that browsing a lot is also part of the problem with restraining yourself from the freedom of the internet so I truly believe that K9 is MUST for all of you out there actually trying to break the cycle and be FREE.

>K9 your best friend in this endeavor

I started thinking about what caused me to fail in the past… and I always came to the same conclusion "2 weeks is a lot anon, you deserve it"

* The key is not keeping count of the days you have been clean, with a mindset like that you are bound to fail in the end, you will eventually reach a "big enough" number to make you feel like "its ok to have a small fap now, its been ages since my last time" no, it doesn't work like that, my longest streak was 1 month, I was feeling so good and happy with myself that I indulged in a quick fap as a reward… needless to say that same week I was back to fapping once a day to degenerate shit. I honestly don't think I can keep a schedule of "healthy fapping" thus I must eliminate it completely from my life

>try to aim for "no more fapping mindset" instead of a "30/60/90 days"

You can kill your urges, if you avoid the places that are more likely to cause them…

* I don't come often anymore around here because being in 4ch or 8ch feels like tempting my luck in a moment of weakness, remember, urges of "just watching" lead to urges

of "just edging" which lead to "accidental cumming" or "give up cumming"

>stop coming to places like this so often, in fact limit your internet browsing MORE, that will reduce your relapse chances althogether.

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 No.12528

Thanks for sharing your experience and advice.

I wish you luck and strenght on recovering.

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 No.12576

>>12514

>Until one day I actually stopped myself, and started analyzing my feelings, the discomfort in my balls, and my stomach turning over and over, I focused, and focused and focused more

This right here is a key point, awareness of behaviors is the first step to get rid of them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy_INVm_Pw0

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 No.13274

>>12513

i believe that porn, in particular, sissy pornography is an attack, particularly on white, western male's masculinity. notice who the sissies are, the tendency to involve dominant "black bulls" etc. it is definitely an attack on masculinity, especially white western Europeans. something that helped me? view it like its an enemy trying to erode your willpower. Also imagine the happy merchant rubbing his hands and saying good goy, and gleefully laughing about you being a sissy and bragging how they are slowly conquering all the white men, without firing any shots.

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 No.13279

>>12513

>surrounded by toys and now that I think about it I "stopped" playing with action figures when I was 14

How is it bad?

>most of my school buddies were already kissing and touching their first boobs

Is behaving like a degenerate at such an early age is a good thing? Do you feel bad for not being a normalfaggot?

>started to get rid of my toys (not sexual shit)

Throw away the sexual shit, too, but package it properly first so nobody sees what are you getting rid off. It should help reinforcing your resolve.

>preparing healthier desserts to have ready when the need for sugar attacks

<being addicted to sugar

You still have some self-improvement work to do, huh?

Other than that, it's good to know that another anon is able to erase the heavy shackles of degeneracy from his life. I wish you further success.

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 No.13286

WEW its good to know my shit was never as fucked as yours, Anon. This is why none of you bakas should even ironically look at trap shit.

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 No.13308

>>13274

sissy shit is definitely evil and seems to be pushed in so many aspects and subtly suggested everywhere it does feel kind of suspicious why it got so popular in the last couple of years…

>>13279

>surrounded by toys and now that I think about it I "stopped" playing with action figures when I was 14

>>How is it bad?

because I extended my childhood far longer than recommended there is a period for playing with toys and another one to start participating in the world, starting to "grow" develop as a human been and slowly insert yourself in society to interact and develop mentally and socially

>most of my school buddies were already kissing and touching their first boobs

>>Is behaving like a degenerate at such an early age is a good thing? Do you feel bad for not being a normalfaggot?

I feel that if I were more of a "normalfaggot" I would not have problems interacting with women in general or have a tendency to develop panic attacks when confronted with someone who comes off slightly agressive when talking to me or prefer to go out more rather than staying at home playing vidya

>started to get rid of my toys (not sexual shit)

>>Throw away the sexual shit, too, but package it properly first so nobody sees what are you getting rid off. It should help reinforcing your resolve.

I have thrown my crib mobile, coloring books, crayons, pencil colors, story books, coloring books, some childish tshirts, a cloth diaper and an onesie that had a couple of bleach stains… I spent about 200usd in 4 onesies, a bottle and 3 pacifiers and a couple of disposable diapers… I don't feel I am ready to be rid of that just yet, If I go ahead and throw that shit away I think I might go into relapse and buy more of it. I had put it in a garbage bag and I kept it far away from my bedroom so I don't get my urges at night when I'm in bed, at t he moment thats how I'm facing that, after almost 4 months of NoFap and 2 months of NoPorn I feel comfortable enough to trust in my judgement in this, otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far in the first place.

>preparing healthier desserts to have ready when the need for sugar attacks

<being addicted to sugar

>>You still have some self-improvement work to do, huh?

I don't see how replacing my need for candy with fruit salad is a bad thing, the "need" for sugar or sweet things is not something I need DESPERATELY, unlike my previous need to masturbate to degenerate stuff, I can go without it.

>>13286

everything that revolves around fucking up your self percepcion as a person will eventually lead to very serious mental damage.

Pic Related.

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 No.13312

>>13308

>mfw no face

What did he meme by this?

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 No.13315

>>12513

Good job OP; stay strong the struggle is worth it.

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 No.13364

File: 4966766dcdf9a26⋯.jpg (75.48 KB,600x477,200:159,1536106184379.jpg)

>>13308

>>13312

>I have thrown my crib mobile, coloring books, crayons, pencil colors, story books, coloring books, some childish tshirts, a cloth diaper and an onesie that had a couple of bleach stains… I spent about 200usd in 4 onesies, a bottle and 3 pacifiers and a couple of disposable diapers… I don't feel I am ready to be rid of that just yet, If I go ahead and throw that shit away I think I might go into relapse and buy more of it. I had put it in a garbage bag and I kept it far away from my bedroom so I don't get my urges at night when I'm in bed, at t he moment thats how I'm facing that, after almost 4 months of NoFap and 2 months of NoPorn I feel comfortable enough to trust in my judgement in this, otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far in the first place.

what am i reading?

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 No.13366

>>13364

A tragic story of a man who fell into the deepest pits of degeneracy. There might be even deeper pits but I don't want to hear about them.

Hes on the right track to unfucking his shit though.

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