/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

mods edit the op, i relapsed and am disgusted

mods edit the op, i relapsed and am disgusted

>>10246

>>10247

epic

>tfw literally only start being into traps after prolonged fapping

>first starts out with "oh it's just feminine i'm not even looking at the dick"

>then turns into "feminine penis" but w/e i'll only penetrate

>trap dick is kind of sexy

>i'd play with it a little

>maybe give a reach around

>OMG I AM A HUGE FAGGOT PLEASE RAPE MY FACE

Funny how it's the same progression every time. Start fapping to just imagined girls, then imagined hardcore sex with girls, then clothed models, then tasteful nudes, then camwhores, then actual porn, then lesbians, then traps with the above progression.

As soon as I stop fapping, the attraction to traps immediately disappears. As soon as I lapse, the cycle repeats almost verbatim.

>ride my dildo and masturbate pretending I'm a girl

lol you're pretty far gone m80. Trash the dildo and girl shit. Although I don't get, do you actually not want to be the girl, or is the problem just being pretty?

>depression comes over me when once I actually cum and starkly realize that I'm not

Funny how that doesn't happen with normal faps but comes like clockwork after degenerate faps, huh?

>I don't think I'm gay or want to be transgender

The term is "prison gay".

I was about to laugh at OP, but then i remembered some of my fantasies are just as shameful and degrading

I'm going through the same shit. Its hard because I don't want to repress my homosexuality if that's just the way that I am, but something just doesn't feel right about it. This shit just isn't making me happy, yet the simplest interactions with girls will make my entire day, so I feel like I'm going down the wrong path with this sissy shit.

>>10245

yes. it stops if you stop fapping. if you notice a trend of needing progressively more fucked up fetish stuff, chances are, its porn induced. myself, it went downhill to full homosexual stuff with femboy porn. and said femboy had a toned abdomen and shit and was muscular, yet fem. it ended up with me fapping, and feeling a deep deep sense of shame, considering i find the thought of gay sex repulsive in reality. normally i find gay sex repugnant, and my mind is warped to where i am bordering on Attraction to feminine men. i started watching pov porn of women and men being fucked by futa. it continued down a downward spiral. amusingly, NatSoc/respect for women/loving myself came normally after a few weeks of nofap. and i hit a flatline, gpt scared and have been Binging sense… I notice my hair thinning and skin breakouts with increased fapping. not to mention i feel like a faggot looking at gay shit, and not actually being into it outside of a fetish. i am a 24 year old virgin. i weigh 208 lbs, 5 '11 and am relatively attractive. i had a gay guy hit on me when i was younger and was repulsed. i still am. i know i am not really gay, nor am i trans. I have OCD pretty bad, mixed with being a social outcast. no sex with women/healthy relationships has caused my time to be consumed with day to day full time work and fapping to porn. i exercise too, but my motivation to succeed is shit, because i feel like life will never get better. I used to think i was trans, probably porn warping me, but usually i don't feel that way, beyond wishing i was fem occasionally. but thats probably a fetish in reality. It was worse til i went on OCD meds and antipsychotics because i went off Adderall cold turkey. my psychiatrist when i told him how much my old psychologist prescribed said no wonder i lost my mind over a period of time. i was in withdrawal, i self medicated with endless fapping and long nights.on the computer. eventually i recovered from the withdrawal, i still have porn for a vice. i know i need to quit, but its extremely difficult. i am such a horndog and i hate popping boners in public, fear of mockery (Social isolation/anxiety/Obsessive compulsive)

the last time i nofapped i made it two weeks i think.

I've been really deep in the rabbit hole, I've also had thoughts on being transgender, but after insisting again and again in nofap you can realize what porn has done to your mind. It's quite simple to see it when you get out of the lustful mental structure.

I had a lot of girl clothes and a buttplug (now in the trash), I've tried to date with guys on gay apps and luckily enough I always stepped back at the last moment before actually meeting, thanks God.

Porn completely warped our minds. I just got an erection just writing this message, only thinking about this fetish is a trigger. I'm on day 20+ but this time it truly feels like my mind is on a new level of reasoning, I've earned a lot of XP points with all the nofap streak tries, it doesn't matter if I have an erection, now it's like I have control over this situation, it's like I can actually think about what has this done to me and what will happen if I fail again, I'm so sick of this, this has ruined my life in so many ways and I'm only 21 years old.

Stay strong brothers, we can climb back to our original nature.

(Now the erection is completely gone and I don't have any urges.)

>>11755

Good post. Tl;dr - sexual fetishes are diseases of the mind usually picked up by porn, child abuse, or some other violation of the natural order. The brain gets tricked into thinking it is reproducing tons of babies when in reality very fucked up things are happening and you only realize it when a lot of damage is already done.

>>11756

Good for you pham. Old habbits die hard, but die they will if not fed.

>>11756

(continuation)

Fuck, I almost thought that I was truly transgender, and put a lot of thought into telling it to my parents, I was 100% brainwashed… FUCK

I even bought herbal phytoestrogens and took them!

The fun fact about these is that they temporarily lower your libido, and then you realize that maybe you are not a girl, XDXDXD. It's all about lust, not about you being in the wrong body.

Usually this days when my mind gets into unconscious lustful mode it's just about cute girls, I had luck with a real life femdom encounter, the girl (same age as me) was very innocent and it ended with me dominating her, which was an experience that I really needed.

But I still was craving a lot for her to take control and completely feminize me, but obviously that didn't happened at that point.

(I just got an erection just with the word "Feminize", See?) But obviously I know that now my subconscious mind reacts with triggers, that's how the mind works, this is just a product of the wrong seeds that I planted within myself. With nofap we are now getting them out, maybe seeds isn't a good analogy because seeds grow back again and when the dopaminergic pathways of being a faggot stop being empowered they just dissapear. But you get what I mean.

Stop empowering mind-stream conclusions, conditions, judgements, abstractions, otherwise you'll be caught like a fish in a fishermen's net, you will be trapped. Don't think about how it sucks to have fallen in this shit, don't feel bad about it, just move on, just continue with your human journey with this new knowledge about how easily we can be manipulated.

Meditation has helped me a lot, it actually teaches you that you are not the mindstream, and puts a distance between You and the constant chattering network in your brain, words truly mean nothing. So don't martirize yourself with them, okay sweetheart? You've been a victim, a true victim.

Turn the Light of Consciousness around and place it where it belongs. Observe every single thing that emerges within. Be conscious about the process, about what triggers you, about how your mind works and reacts, about how all of this actually started, about how it negatively influences your life, about how it will continue endlessly until you actually do something about it, (eventually it will become effortless), and you will get out I promise you.

Take this as something that is making you understand your own mind, it may never have happened in this lifetime otherwise. :)

>>11758

It's cool bro. Nothing wrong with sexual urges, but you're 100% right about how porn fucks with our minds and there is a doctrine of decay being written in how sex is performed in the biz. Can you get people hooked with whatever is 'wrong' you can get people off that way, because the perversion corrupts the innocence/sacredness of our life energy.. True sex between true lovers on the other hand is phenomenal.

Remember that your energy is sacred and in the process of becoming your greatest version you'll find out what works best for you. Making mistakes along the way is almost mandatory.

May kindred spirits guide you.

I feel that as members of the same sex, we are bound to each other and more than ever before need to work together to make sure men are healthy. There are some severe hidden powers at work that will not stop until masculinity is destroyed.

For a while now I've struggled with the opposite of what some of the anons on this thread are describing, but I think it all comes from the same twisted source. I have, right up into a few days ago when I got into nofap again, only been able to get off to watching trap/sissy porn because I am attracted to watching the submissive qualities of a man that has sort of "given up". It always feels like I'm watching a guy that said "fuck it" one day, gave up on the harsh reality that men have to toil and work to make something happen in life, and would rather now live out a fantasy life as a woman while someone has their way with them. The alternative has been literally beaten out of them.

I often feel like giving up, and while I wouldn't resort to living life as a woman, I find that pornography that expressed that to some degree makes me want to abuse men that gave up through some of kind of warped psychological mirroring. I want to be aggressive and dominant against people who gave up because the clash within me to either let my life go to waste and forcing myself out of bed each morning is so thin that I often relapse in sexual frustration while trying each day to sort myself out. I even go as far as hunting weak men through social media to engage in degrading talk about how much more of a man I am than they are for my own sexual gratification; things could not be further from the truth.

Getting into that kind of filth has hurt my ability to interact with women as well, since I irresponsibly blame them for my own weakness. This translates to watching violent porn where women are abused and I feel a false sense of satisfaction because I want to show the rest of the world that I am in control through violence.

Nofap, especially when coupled with spirituality, comes in the form of a small outlet to a greater state of being. It's the small thread I can hold on to throughout my day to remind myself that this is all going towards something greater. Even when it's just me thinking about helping other people break the chain of pornography by making it another day without the stuff, I find that bit of clarity to help me get by. Try to purge at your own pace and educate yourself on who it is you want to be every day. If possible, help others in need along the way. We are not far off from a real life man hunt where all the combined forces of social, political, psychological/emotional/sexual, and infrastructure are going to turn on classic masculinity and many are going to be lost in their pleasures.

>>11836

You are starting to figure it out. I believe all serious people on nofap will eventually find some form of spirituality as their guiding rock. Nofap will make even the most liberal atheists break and embrace their is something to the source of this universe and the "real you" does exist outside of your degenerate fapping addicted brain, and that you are in a struggle with it to mold it rather than letting it mold "You".

Also, yes - Nofap restores and rebuilds the masculinity that was beaten out of you due to heavy porn/fap addiction. The ancients figured this out long ago. Just read Plato and Pythagoras. Both wrote clearly about how abstaining from sex altogether preserves masculinity and indulging in it weakens you. At most, it should only be used for its mechanical purpose - to procreate and nothing more. This would actually bring us close to how rest of the animals behave. This is perhaps too much for the modern world to handle, but if society could even turn away from porn and masturbation itself - It will bring back masculinity in a massive way.

Modern western science (at least past 1950s), as great as it has been for technology, has been equally destructive for human psychology and in some cases biology. The many cases of transgenders today are a result of perversions wrecking havoc in kids and absolutely destroying their identity with porn infused garbage, and its still being promoted in books today. Thankfully people are beginning to figure it out. Its now almost commonly accepted porn destroys you - your masculinity, your spirit, your happiness - And only a matter of time before people trace it back to the sex impulse (or rather the reproductive impulse) being directed to unnatural ways that really does damage to the spiritual well being of the person. And why there is so much wisdom in "You Shall Not Commit Adultery", and the whole philosophy of abstaining versus indulging in various degenerate pleasures. The tides are changing.

>>11839

It is some very dark stuff one might have to realize in himself. Theorizing and overthinking never brings action, but it is very comforming to have a clear outlook and the right perspective on how to handle such energies that try to make you react with the Ego mind. The sexual is perhaps the most primal one, and fear is the biggest drive towards such a wrong self-sacrifice that doesn't make your energy sacred, but rather waste it.

It's like this: The center of our being is our soul, which is placed in our center, or heart. All chi/bioenergy is sprung from and end back where it was sent out from. Our feelings are how we react to this energy/vibration we are undergoing (therefore it's the strongest point of being is the present), and how we give outlet for these energies are through our emotions, that represent the flow of energy. How the whole being is represented is tackled by all the valves and pathways we have evolved into having nerves and neuro tissue, that quickly can make us react to a change in flow. A lot of bad tunes and fuckups can therefore be made the bigger network we got, and sadly we have degenerated into having an Ego part of us, that disconnects us from the baseline flow of things/mother earth, and we obstruct the flow of the Tao/God/source of energy/void, we all came from.

And that's why we shouldn't fap at all. Sex can be something divine and incredibly sacred and pure between soul mates, because that's where a very special song is being played out.

How pitiful it has to be to be a simple ragdoll or energizer-bunny in the porn movies. It's probably incredibly important to shut down a big part of your soul, so you don't react unaccordingly, because porn is abut the degeneration aspect of sex. Rarely I have seen something pure and true between adults on film, but the times it came close it was very revealing how all the fetishes are sins.

>>10380

You fuckers should know better. I am forever cautious about the slippery slope of fetishes, which is why I never allow my self to develop them. If you can't get off to vanilla solo camwhores then you've got big problems. In fact, ideally your porn consumption shouldn't be anything more than nude images of women.

I always tell you guys that fapping to traps is gay no matter how much you try to rationalize your degenerate fetishes.

>>11875

>He thinks vanilla porn isn't itself a doorway to degeneracy.

The slippery slop begins at the very act of masturbation itself. Its natural to want more exciting/depraved shit the next time you whack off. If you want to continue fapping then you have to consciously hold yourself back from developing degenerate fetishes..difficult to do that if you're not aware.

Better is to just listen to what the ancient wisdom said about all this degeneracy. Don't even dive into it with your hand on your dick. Find a girl, marry her or keep it in your pants and invent something.

>>10245

>>10248

>>10247

My sides

>>15235

why did you bump this thread?

>>15238

Because this funny thread is worth the 2 year bump

>>10664

No one is naturally homosexual. If there was a gene for homosexuality it would obviously been bred out of existence. Homosexuality is learned either through porn or sexual abuse.

If you didn't have homosexual thoughts before you started watching porn I can assure you of you go on nofap you will stop being attracted to men.

>>10245

Definitely stop watching porn dude. When you watch porn, one of three things will happen: either you self-insert as the man, or you self-insert as a third-party viewer (ie, cuckoldry/bisexuality), or you self-insert as the woman (ie, autogynephilia). You apparently self-insert as the woman, which is probably the most common of the options since most pornography focuses very heavily on the woman's pleasure, causing you to sympathize with and eventually to identify with the woman primarily. This effect is multiplied a lot when you prefer lesbian or solo pornography. Searching for porn that focuses on the man's pleasure obviously won't help you, as that runs the risk of acclimating you to full-blown homosexuality. Stop watching porn, it's the only way.

>>15246

>Homosexuality is learned either through porn or sexual abuse.

The goyim know.

>Has anyone successfully stopped thoughts of autogynephilia by abstaining from porn and masturbation?

>Every time I ride my dildo and masturbate pretending I'm a girl an intense wave of depression comes over me when once I actually cum and starkly realize that I'm not, and will never be, a pretty girl.

>I don't think I'm gay or want to be transgender, since these thoughts only started building once I was in my mid-20s, so I'm assuming it's the result of too much pornography. I'm just wondering if it is too late for me or if there's anything I can do to reverse it.

>I've accepted that I need to work harder on actually being a man, but right now my sexual desires are that of a girl's, and so I have no motivation to enact that change.

Kek