/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

>She never did anything physically violent, not really, unless you counted the odd ponce-and-tackle here and there, or the spinning bear hugs, or where she would pin you down and say, ‘I’m raping you, im gonna rape you if you don’t get out!’

>Eventually you’d get too tired to struggle and you’d just lay there. She’d fall down on top of you and you’d both stay like that until she got bored of tormenting you and left.

>That all ended your senior year when she left for college.

>You never found out which one she got into, and you didn’t want to know. In hindsight, it was probably better if you had unblocked her on social media if only to keep tabs on her.

>You knew she had been doing much better in high school than one would expect, had kept out of trouble, and had got into some place on an ROTC scholarship.

>You didn’t expect her to be standing in cubicle #27 with the top half of her uniform off

>Her breasts were exposed, ample, but not excessive, and hung at your eye level. You were tall, but she was much taller. Chocolate nipples stood at attention over dark areolas. Her ashen skin covered muscles firmed equally from cardio and lifting.

>She looked down at you, smug and proud, and smiled. Her massive fluffy paw rubbed your shoulder, moving its way up to cup your cheek, then curled around the back of your head.

<”It’s good to see you, Anon. I really missed you. I’m only going to say this once… I treated you badly in high school and I shouldn’t have. None of those terrible things I said about you were true. None of them. I… I was just scared that you might find someone else. I liked you. A lot. I was even- I am- in love with you. I couldn’t rape you because I thought you’d hate me, and I don’t know how to express myself any other way so I was terrified of driving you away and that made me angry sometimes. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”

>That’s possibly the last thing you expected to come from her mouth.

>The fires at her eyes were large, but smoldering with a calm red heat. There was sincerity and beauty in her smile that you’d never seen before.

“I… I don’t know what to say, Amanda. Thank you. That means a lot to me. I forgive you, I gue-”

>She pulls you roughly into one of her breasts, her large nipple finding the perfect opening in your gaping mouth, you heartfelt reply cut short by your bully’s massive tit.

<”Now suck, faggot! If you want to breath again, pull those pants off. I’m required to check your penis for length, girth, and function.”

>You know better than to try to push her away. It was truly impossible. You hands fumbled for your belt buckle as her moans joined the moans of the other students and her hands greedily pressed your face into her flesh.

>A moment of respite comes when she shifts your mouth from one nipple to the other

>Pants down, she throws you onto the large cot in the small cubicle

>Thirty minutes later and wizard status is a thing of the past

>Exiting the cubicle together, griffon girl holds out a paper for both of you to sign

>It’s obviously a marriage certificate with a post-it note that has ‘Penis Inspection Form’ hand written on it.

>She doesn’t even have more than one post-it note. As soon you’re both done signing, she just slaps it on someone else’s unsigned marriage certificate

>Virgin betas still in line, eyeing you questioningly

“Nothing to worry about guys. Just like any other Penis Inspection Day.”

>>379802

>>379803

Why break it up? The character limit is 5k.

>>379801

Thanks,I needed this

>>379805

I honestly had no idea what the limit was, only that I didn't want to get my numbering wrong, so I erred on the side of caution. And It's the line-limit that got me last time.

>>379807

>he doesn't spam /test/ to find out the post limit

I didn't even know there was a line limit though.

>>379782

>>379741

>Hospital run by the most sternous MG doctors they can find.

>Chastity stronger than paladins, but by god do they show results that they're the best in saving your life.

>No Sex allowed in the hospital because it is unsanitary (makes sense)

>The entire staff is diverse to specialize on different problems and procedures.

>They take it to code to never date patients. Even if they're single.

>Specially trained to go against the instinct of the full moon while in work hours.

>Not even the succubi nurses will accept or admit to fucking or sucking a man on bed, even with a visible erection.

>Wives are free to visit or stay the night and give their husbands company, but NO SEX ALLOWED. They don't want any more ruined equipment

>Those that disobey are severly punished. Further disobedience leads to being kicked out of the hospital till their husband checks out and has made a full recovery.

>Not even anything under eldritch gods or magical beings are safe

>Slimes of all types including shoggoths are covered up with the forbidden technique of plastic bag with a ribbon knot.

>Kobolds, hellhounds, and other dog girls have a nurse rush in and blow a dog whistle as a warning. Anything further, they are muzzled, and given a magic chastity belt that dissolves once their husband is at full recovery

>Onis and ushi onis are escorted out by the guard onis as first warning, since they aren't taking a chance at giving another.

>Psychological Based MGs like Nightmares are forced to no longer be in the same room as their husband and are forced to wait outside and talk to him by the local phone as per quarantine. There's also a magical barrier that prevents her types from entering his mind and giving him possible complications in health.

>Kikis warned to let the nurses do their thing since they are trained professionals. They can, however, feed their husband when it's mealtime.

>Elves, Dryads, Etc. are not allowed to suggest or give "Alternative Medicine" to their husbands while in the infirmary or checked in.

>Any Bicorn caught trying to charm staff will be escorted out immediately.

>Amazons, Vampires, Gods, or anyone trying to strongarm (Not necessarily literally) their way to get what they want will have a charm/seal put on them if necessary and be brought out.

>List goes on.

>>379855

>News Anchor: Top Story Tonight; Local Hospital under contreversy, as it actively prevents patients wives from being near their loved ones. Could this be an act of cruelty, or an act of cold turkey? The poor ones affected had this to say.

>Elf: All I did was suggest he drink from this virgin spring water and some of the herbs in my ancestors' land. Who are they to decide what's "Poisonous"

>Oni hugging her legs in the corner with a blank stare: Those… those traitors. I… I thought we were sisters. They just came for me. And when The beat me down for not listening… I… I offered them a swig of my family's brew, you know, keep their mouth shut, no one of us could resist… They… they just looked at me and told me in disgust that I was not allowed to bring it here…

>A black puddle of whatever is left of a crying shoggoth: STUPID MEIDO HURT MASTAH! MASTAH GOT BETTER MEIDOS WHO CAN HELP HIM BETTER THAN HIS FIRST MEIDO! TEKI-LI LIIIIII!!!

>NA: In response of these protest, the head of the hospital Administration staff had this to say.

>Man slowly stands up a podium, pulls out a folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket, silenceing the crowd. Coughs and clears his throat.

>Man: FUCK YOU-

We are having Some Technical Issues, please stand by.

>Man refolds his paper and walks back to his staff waiting for him in front of the door and go back to work in the hospital.

>>379801

Good save

>>379861

>Featuring Dante from Devil May Cry

>>379861

I don't even like Shoggoths, but i want to see this one consoled and reunited with her husband, along with the other girls.

>>379948

The shoggoth's fine. She, just like any other of the MGs protesting, is overreacting. That's what she gets for trying to assault hospital staff on doing their job. Diligent workers are really hard to come by.

>>379986

They can't get away with sealing away her Mastah. How can they be allowed to get away with making Mastah use regular items and not allowing his shogg to be with him. This is clearly as kiki plot to try to steal the great Mastah away.

>>379988

>Be Dr. Bob, Neurosurgeon, needing to see a patient.

>Go to patient's room, see the 2 nurses be dragged upside down and about to be eaten by a jealous eldritch horror assimilating the entire room.

>Sigh heavily.

>Snap fingers and a magic plastic bag comes in and seals the shoggoth's core to it's surprise.

>Everything turns back to normal, shoggoth in a bag trying to escape, but fails.

>It stares one of her many eyes at you, tearing up (?) and letting out a loud but muffled cry

>Have an oni come pick her up and throw her out instead of the waiting hall so that she won't affect the other patients or staff.

>Now that the ruckus is done, you dust off your nurses, and continue as normal and talk about the patients current abnormal neural hyperactivity.

>>380016

Those whores had it coming they where clearly in league with a bicorn or may the old ones forgive me for uttering such words… a kiki.

>>379952

>moe away spray

Where do I get such a product?

>>380025

Why do you require such an item?

>>380030

I've got an infestation of moeblobs at my house, all pestering me for headpats and hand-holding, the disgusting creatures, and it's driving my jealous waifu crazy.

>>380032

If your waifu is jealous, why don't you give her the same?

>>380035

I'm not a monster, anon! I give my waifu all the lewd stuff I can dare to think of, even going to the degenerate low of snuggling in a nice, big, comfy quilt next to the warm fireplace, but those moeblobs refuse to leave, and everything I do fails to work.

If I don't get rid of them soon, my waifu will go full-on crazy snek, and that won't do nobody no good.

>>380037

Your penis will be happy friend.

>>380038

It's not always the snexual kind of crazy, my friend. She'll go out and whoop the moeblobs with her tail. And I'm not exactly a fan of moeblobs being bullied, even if they are annoying the shit out of me.

>>380040

That's what she gets for the dereliction of the defence of her husband from the moehordes.

>>380024

>In league with a kiki

Tell that to the loud russian yelling of a maid being dragged away because she wanted her master to stand up so she can clean his bed while he had an IV on him.

>>380043

>>380040

>>380039

>not hoarding the moeblobs

>not weaponizing the moeblobs by sticking guns on them

>not having them become a security system and private army in one in exchange for headpats

>not taking over your town with the moeblobs and becoming a warlord

>>380095

They deserve this for sharing their anti shogg charms with the administration.

>Kids in the hospital

>Kids getting hurt in general

One of the worst things I've ever, ever seen.

>Sent to a sandbox, 20xx

>SVBIED does its thing

>Right next to their equivalent to an elementary school

>In the filthy hospital, trying to talk to witnesses

>Loads, loads and loads of of kids

>Some came in by ambulance, most were just tossed into the back of a stranger's pick up and rushed over

>Some of their limbs were in those trucks

>Some kids could talk, others were too hysterical to make sense

>Some kids were too mashed to be recognizable, but were somehow still alive

>So many others were in the morgue

>Tons and tons of weeping parents, many of whom were inconsolable.

Sorry to blogpost, but shit still haunts me

I wonder how mg nurses would handle such sights. How would they look at their own kids at the end of their shift, after seeing the ways such innocent faces can get broken

>>380136

I’m sorry that happened and you had to be caught up in that Anon. You holding steady?

>>380040

I approve of this. Maybe I'll even try on the waifu and some of the moeblobs, for shits and giggles.

>>380091

It's a mix of all three. The chubbis and taters have been the worst at pestering me, while the yukkuri have been content to simply take it easy.

>>380098

I don't know if moeblobs would be suitable for any sort of extended combat, but I'll consider the option.

>>380136

This is awful. Where did this happen at?

>>380136

The troubles, Yugoslavia or some third world nation?

>>380139

>Mix of all three

Well fooey, quite the infestation you got there. So I guess i’ll give you advice for all three types:

>The Cabbages Heads, as i’m sure you’ve seen, are the most sedentary (at least before they start growing bodies or limbs) and the simplest to contain. If you are patient and approach them slowly, you can grab them and box them up with little fuss. From there you can go down to your local agency and that should be the end of it. Deal with them first before they mutate or start fighting with each other, or you’ll have a mess on your hands.

>The Melties are the least rambunctious and most physically and mentally developed of the three categories. Most people I know tend to issue an ultimatum that they have to pay rent or at least perform housework to be allowed to stay. Most of them clear out on their own if they are expected to not just laze around, and if they actually comply at least they are partially pulling their weight now. Almost all cities have a foster program to register and employ them; if you are adamant about getting rid of them, they can come collect them if they are stubborn and have them settled into a start-up bakery or cafe to work/slack off at instead.

>The Plumps are probably the hardest to clear out because they are usually the most babyish and have a bad habit of imprinting on homes they squat in. You’re gonna have to call up a shelter and work with a professional to coax them out of your place and into a proper care facility, a process that can take weeks or even months to finalize depending on how acclimated they already are to your space.

Good luck however you decide to handle them all kind sir.

>>380137

I'm doing alright, thank you for asking

>>380141

>>380143

Third world country

>>380111

>>380016

>Anti Shogg

>It was never about anti shogg. It's the fact that they get the job done.

Have you fuckwits not read up on the Medical Sabbath branch yet? They operate much like >>379848 described, except all mgs are lolis

>>380016

>Be doctor in a hospital

>WORST JOB IN THE WORLD

>Seriously, so much shit to work with

>In addition to hospital shit such as tracking meds, stocks, teaching collegel students and grading their papers and investigating clinical trials, I have to put up with this shit

>Namely, the pissed-as-fuck hellhound held by the hospital guards, trying to murder me with her eyes

>I just do my thing and glare her down

<When will you let me see him!? I HAVE TO SEE HIM!!! I HAVE TO SMELL HIM!!!

>He's infected with a nasty bacterium, and we need to keep him in quarantine until he recovers. How many times do I have to tell you?

<NO! HE'S FINE! HE'S ALWAYS FINE! HE'S NEVER BEEN SICK BEFORE!!! LET ME GO!! I HAVE TO SEE HIM!!!

>First time for everything, miss

<LET HIM OUT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I REALLY GET MAD!!! LET ME GO!!!!!

>That's it

>Glare into her eyes

>Ok listen bitch

>I'm his doctor. I saw him. He needs my help

>I can stop right now, you know. I can let him out. He'll be dead in a week

>And with what the disease will do to him, you wont have much to resurrect either

>Not to mention he'll spread it to other men, monsters, children. There'll be an epidemic, and so many will die and it will all be your fault. Is that what you want?

>She just keeps glaring back at me

>Her lip's quivering, and her eyes tearing up

>I know how you feel. But right now, he needs our help, not yours. Isn't that why you brought him here in the first place?

>She nods, and relaxes

>The guards drop her, still wary in case she tries something

>She just puts her face in her paws and sobs

>There's a chapel to Eros, down the corridor to the left. And visitor rooms to the right. Go. Rest.

>She just nods and shuffles away

>I nod to the guards and go to see my patient

>Late twenties, caucasian, fairly handsome

>He's alive and asleep. For now.

>His body's getting tired. The medicines in his blood are not working on this disease as well as they should, kind of why he's in quarantine in the first place

>His charts however are showing some improvement

>Is this however too late?

>This battle is however, coming to an end, one way or another

>I just put his charts back, adjust his treatment a bit, and head out, not waking him up

>I can see her fervently praying in my mind

>There really is no JUSTICE in this world

>>379350

Ive got a pretty shitty cold, who can help me with this?

>>380264

Pick one

>Easy Modo: Pick something else, you pussy.

>Normal modo: Orange juice, garlic, soup.

>Hard modo: Vodka with chili peppers.

>Lunatic modo: Everclear with Carolina Reaper peppers.

>>380226

Happy end, plz. We can go back to /pol/ to read about a bad end.

>>380264

Green tea with garlic, honey and lemon juice worked wonders for me. Just got over one myself

>>380264

I was hoping for a greentext of some overbearing but loving nurse mg to help me through it or something

>>379422

>7DPD

>>380226

Imagine training nurses in that hospital there to not glomp on their patients

>"NO, KEIJY! JUST BECAUSE HE LIKES YOUR HAIR DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN WRAP YOUR HAIR AROUND HIM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU NEED TO CHECK HIS PULSE, WE HAVE A MACHINE FOR THAT!"