No.36385
How do you encourage bullies to become kind?
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No.36386
>>36385
Be kind to them somehow? Really depends on the person/situation I suppose.
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No.36388
>>36386
Namefield: Bully
Kindness just may bring out the worst in those people. Depends.
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No.36391
>>36388
Maybe you are right thinking about it. When I was in school there was plenty of bullies, even I bullied a little bit. Almost everyone bullied someone, some more than others. But when we all left school and I met the bullies in real life afterwards I found that they had grown up and weren't like they once were.
Some normal people bully because they're having a bad day or something. You could probably get them to be kind by being kind.
But some people never stop bullying, they're incapable of kindness and never change because they're sociopaths. No amount of kindness will change someone like that. Best just to avoid them if you can.
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No.36713
>>36385
I recommend bullying yourself to fully understand what you're dealing with.
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No.36740
I think if you show compassion but also clearly delineate boundaries as necessary (like "hey, you aren't allowed to talk to me that way. You have to be more respectful.") then that's the most helpful thing to do. You have to be especially polite but create distance when that person goes too far.
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No.36855
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No.36862
Step 1 - Become their friend.
If you already friends with the bully skip this step. Else befriend a bully. The easiest way to do this is to have a common interest. You may have to be a bully yourself so that you and the bully can do some joint bullying IRL or on the interwebs.
Step 2 - Become really good friends with the bully
The bully is happy to chat or shitpost with you. The bully looks forward to you being online. This might take time. You both should have the same ideological disposition or you should feign it.
Step 3 - Tell the bully to stop bullying
This probably won't work. But if the bully cares about you, your opinion would hold some weight.
Step 4 - Bully the bully
This might hurt the bully since you are both friends now. But knowing the pain of bullying, the bully might cease bullying.
Step 5 - Be bullied back by the bully
This probably won't happen because you took the effort to become really good friends with the bully.
Step 6 - Stop caring about what people do on the internet or IRL
You have a finite amount of fucks to give in this life. Maybe the person needs to be a bully because life bullied him first. Whatever the scenario, be happy and don't try to control others.
Step 0 - What do if you are being bullied directly
If it is a peer, you can try to befriend them. Else you can just stay away.
If it is someone in authority with power over you, get a new job or try to minimize their power and influence over you. Do not ever engage them directly in a confrontation. Any disagreements or battles should be indirect. And you should have a paper trail.
If it is a parent or elderly relative, just leave man. Be independent, get a job, rent a shitty apartment. Slowly build a life without them.
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No.37934
I had a coworker that I would argue with and he would always complain about coworkers he thought weren't pulling their weight, sometimes including me. We had a big fight one day and I just stayed persistent, showing him that I had strength inside of myself, but that I didn't think that anger or resentment were the solution to things. He ended up apologizing and being nice and acting like we were bros. He is a good guy on the inside, loves being a brother to those he respects, just a bit misguided and thoughtless sometimes.
Some bullies just don't respect others and need to be shown that just because someone doesn't go out of their way to prove themselves to others doesn't mean they aren't worthy of some minimum respect.
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No.37987
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No.38005
>>36385
>kind
>bullies
Pick one
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No.38009
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No.38019
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No.38122
Being a bully makes you cool!
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No.38123
>>38122
No It makes u a friendgot
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No.38124
>>38123
Wow, super rude, dude.
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No.38125
>>38122
In some cases, yes it does.
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No.38127
>>38124
But according to your definition I'm a super rude cool dude
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No.38130
Actual advice coming through.
Look threatening. You gotta understand how their little brains function. If there are no consequence than they'll do anything. Most "people" are like this. Dominant looks and body language can do you good.
Just to make you understand, imagine a situation when a tall muscular man comes and asks you for something and then some manlet with submissive body language does the same. Or imagine talking with your boss vs talking with your subordinate. It's all about consequences. You might not like it, you might not belive it, you might be too dumb to understand, but this is the ugly reality we live in.
BULLY THEM! THE ONLY LANGUAGE THEY UNDERSTAND IS FEAR! THEY ARE SUBHUMANS, JUST BEASTS IN HUMAN CLOTHING!
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No.38131
>>38130
you seem like a bully in /kind/ clothing
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No.38134
>>38131
Being a bully makes you cool!
Also, this anon >>37934 proves my words. He showed strength, he showed that there can be consequences, he bullied his coworker back and fixed the situation.
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No.38136
>>38134
>Being a bully makes you cool!
no it does not, you might think it makes you cool but people will think less of you and will think of you as that beast in sheep's clothing that you just mentioned in time. treat others as how you would like to be treated, you don't have to act as a pushover but don't bully back others because they bullied you
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No.38143
>>38136
I really don't appreciate this bully encouragement in /kind/ either and I would like it to stop.
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No.38146
>>38136
>treat others as how you would like to be treated
That doesn't work. Everything isn't so simple. It's a fact that there are hierarchies in social environments and you are treated acording to where you stand. Reread the first post. It's about if the person who is bullying you sees consequences. If there are none than you can be tortured and killed, but there are laws, social consequences, etc, which prevent such things from happening (mostly).
On a note, this works differently if you are a female though. For one, females don't have to take part in this dominance hierarchy and look threatening or anythanything. I guess your advice can work than.
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No.38148
>>38146
you sound like you have an incredibly bleak view of humanity, you'd think people would be okay with torturing and killing if there are no consequences, like everyone's just some serial killer waiting to be set loose once the chains are off. there's are words called conscience, selflessness and guilt that would not exist if your theory were correct, i also disagree with that you think women have completely different roles in "dominance hierarchy" but would prefer not to derail this discussion with gender politics
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No.38149
>>38148
I didn't say everyone will start killing and torturing, I was saying that people aren't acting because of consequences like jail.
Btw, you didn't provide any argument against anything I said.
>women have completely different roles in "dominance hierarchy"
I said they don't take part in it. You have different kind of hierarchies.
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No.38159
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No.38575
>>38159
You make a good point.
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No.38620
>>36385
Perhaps the input of a bully could be useful here. You see, my greatest pleasure in life is seeing cute little anime girls getting teased and humiliated.
If you want to avoid being bullied there is one simple solution: don't be a cute little girl.
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