/freedomzine/ - FreedomZine

ITT

A Tweaker, a Taoist and a Tipster walk into a bar…

That's it. That's the whole story.

Nah, seriously… everybody was slingin'' shit and the waitress was reaching for a Derringer .45 she had stashed in her garter belt. The bartender already had his hand on the sawed-off 12 gauge under the counter, and there were some lurkers in the corner by the billiard tables reaching for cue sticks… Everybody was on edge and the tension was as thick as Filipino clay-mud stuck in a purple crevice where you don't want it. The Tweaker was jabbering excitedly, super pissed off as hell about someone he thought was trying to cut off his meth supply; the Tipster was already grabbing bottles of whiskey off the shelves and glugging 'em down one at a time, with a flourish, while waving his own pistol around excitedly in all directions, pointing it meaningfully at a few sombrero-wearing cowpokes in the rear. The Taoist was telling everyone they should be more like mercury, while blowing noxious smoke rings from the dab pipe he had dangling from his lips, dropping sphericals of mercury from a little vial deliberately into the glowing bowl while taking long draws and blowing the smoke forcefully into every corner of the room, making roaring sounds while he did it. The Tipster stumbled over to the jukebox, and started kicking it repeatedly until the waitress put some quarters in it, then he proceeded to play sad old songs all night while slow-dancing in the corner with a potted plant. The Tweaker passed out after yelling angrily for many hours to whoever he thought might be listening about how some asshole cop had busted his meth dealer and now meth may get harder to find, and what an asshole this cop was because he couldn't even spell his dealer's name right. The Taoist was the only one besides the bartender and the waitress who ever actually paid attention to all the goings on. Few ever listened to anybody at all, and nobody listened to the music except the Tipster and possibly the potted plant, but I think the plant was plastic. When Last Call came 'round and everybody including the bartender went home, the Taoist walked the waitress home because she lived in a shitty neighborhood, then he went home and boned his girlfriend until she was squealing in pleasure at the top of her lungs and he thought maybe even the Tweaker's dealer could hear her down at the jailhouse! He knew the waitress could. She already said she'd be playing with herself all morning… and looky here! It's almost dawn and the cock is crowing, yet again, one more time… Then the Taoist came… yet ye knew him not.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

What are '(You) stuck to?

>>2798

Stupid