No.64418 [Last50 Posts]
>You will never be able to roleplay smoothly
>You cannot into good prose and narrative. You will always be stuck with plain statements like a robot.
>You're so bad you can't even fap to your own writing.
____________________________
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No.64421
>Being so defeatist that you're unwilling to try
>Getting submissives who regularly want you to help them write lengthier better posts
>Do it in the nicest way you know how, but repeatedly tell them you -will- be a cunt.
>Literally make a few of them cry in real life after attempting for weeks and their posts are still anti-arousing
>Eventually get told they 'knew the whole time they would never be able to write and should have simply kept wanking themselves to your logs.'
I hate this. Quit with your pity party, and just FUCKING DO IT. Put your fucking back into. Not to be fucking, the transformer's dude. But nothing is going to change if all you say to yourself whilst you're writing out your eroticism is, 'This is fucking shit oh god oh jeez ahhh this will never impress anyone.' Go fucking use thesaurus.com, go fucking google synonyms for words you commonly use until they're integrated into your text. Go fucking gain a goddamn style of your fucking writing instead of being such an insipid shit that you think you'll mystically have a good grasp on how to write a post within a month. No. It's going to take longer than a month, it's going to take longer than two fucking months.
It's a fucking effort driven thing, and with you making a thread like this it's fucking clear you're a lazy, retarded shit who should have shame – not pity thrown their way. Fuck you. Fuck you making this. Fuck you for not getting off your fucking ass and grabbing a book harder than a fucking Harry Potter novel to read. Jesus fucking christ.
Yeah I'm mad, I don't a give this nonsense is suicide inducing on my end. You whine and complain that you're shit, someone's probably tried to help you out, AND THEN YOU JUST IGNORE IT. God fuck.
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No.64432
>>64421
>Not to be fucking, the transformer's dude. But nothing is going to change if all you say to yourself whilst you're writing out your eroticism is, 'This is fucking shit oh god oh jeez ahhh this will never impress anyone.'
I somehow can't imagine Optimus Prime ever saying this
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No.64435
>>64432
He means Shia Labeouf
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No.64437
>tfw English is not your main language
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No.64442
>>64437
>tfw you're better at English than a strong fraction of native English speakers
It's not mine, either, and no one ever notices unless I mention it. It's all about practice, you need to not only write it, you need to be open to corrections and read "correct" texts. Reading a lot is really all there is to spotting awkward grammar or sentence structure, and you'll widen your vocabulary while you're at it.
But, for some bizarre reason, there's too many people who like ero rp but can't into reading. I understand the "erotica" bit might be a main reason why they're willing to spend any time at all on a hobby with writing/reading as medium, but hell. I've been shocked more than once by native speakers who type like they're on their second year of studying the language. When I ask them if English is their first language and they say yes, it's a telltale sign they haven't read anything not school-required in their lives, because they type the words like they hear them, and not as they're actually written. And since English has some problems as far as phonetic structure goes in a bunch of words, well, that's just a plain mess.
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No.64450
>>64418
>You're so bad you can't even fap to your own writing.
that's not so bad, try
>fap more to your own poses than those of your partners
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No.64453
>>64437
It ain't mine either and i very rarely get questioned on whether i'm a native english speaker or not, one of the biggest giveaways for me is that i never capitalize the i unless it's the start of a sentence.
I'd say watch more american/british movies and read some books like >>64442 said, also never forget to have http://www.thesaurus.com/ on a separate tab.
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No.64457
>>64435
The cannibal? What does he have to do with Transformers?
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No.64466
>>64437
I actually like non-native English speakers on F-List. It seems like they give that extra effort. Also, this might sound condescending, but I find it a little quaint when they slip up.
Besides, like >>64442 said, there are a lot of native English speakers who may as well type with their feet for all the good it will do them.
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No.64499
Nigga you need to read and shit. Not even "hurr classic lit". Just fun modern stuff.
Been binging on the Dresden Files books and I've noticed some subtle inspiration slipping into my rp writing.
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No.64501
>>64437
>English isn't your main language
>See a nice ad and read through their profile
>Custom no about people with English as a second language
>Go for it anyway
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No.64508
>I am literally incapable of group ERP due to crippling jealousy
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No.64512
>>64499 (checked)
Seconding this. If I had to recommend good authors with good imagery, which is what writing smut is really all about, I'd go for William Gibson and Stephen King.
Even some teen fiction stuff might help if you need ways to improve your characterization. If you don't feel like you're above it, Eoin Colfer is solid (at least his earlier work; I haven't kept up with anything recent).
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No.64762
It's ok, OP. il/lit/erate never read well-writte books either when they had to.
Every 6 year old should read good prose books in their life. It's how they form their literary skills.
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No.64780
>feel horny and come to /erp/
>see all the non-erping threads that are based on complaints
>feel tired suddenly and desire to erp goes does
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No.64803
>>64780
Pretty much this, I don't know why people insist on making a million and one complaining threads instead of just ERPing the more whining threads there are, the more Fai posts on this board
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No.64804
>>64803
>because you can't easily filter me out with a few simple button prompts
>because you aren't capable of increasing the quality of the board through your own effort and creation of threads that actually get responses
>because you aren't a lazy shit
Oh wait.
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No.64805
>>64804
You actually don't bother me, I'm just pointing that out everyone else whines about you and yet all they do is contribute to the only threads you post in, which are the whining/bitching/complaining threads, since you never actually ERP on the board. Basically, I'm just trying to get people to stop making a million and one of these spam threads by pointing out that they'd never see you if they stopped making/posting in shit-tier threads instead of ERPing.
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No.64808
>>64805
Do people really look at /erp/ as a board… to.. actually RP on? We only have like, three-to-five fuckin' threads that actually have roleplaying in them. It just seems like a mass amalgamation of people bitching about their shortcomings / poor partners, and has been since almost it's inception. Even though forum posting RP is great shit.
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No.64809
>>64808
I do, hence why I work in them when I have the time, and why I think the board would be much better off if everyone actually RPed here instead of using it as a whining board or a "hook up in IM/IRC/not here" site.
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No.64810
Read alot
write alot
copy authors you like and avoid the mistakes of authors you don't
it's not rocket science
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No.64812
>>64809
Overall I think this particular board would be fantastic with IDs, not because 'muh anonssuzzz' but because it would actually facilitate roleplay. I know I just look at the roleplay on here and shrug a bit, because it's non-on-impossible to keep any sort of consistency through different threads except through an honor system of, "Yeah it's probably you." But I must agree, it's one of the reasons (besides urr durr ego stroking bby) I've tried to keep the log thread alive. There's no 'example' of roleplay on here except the rather sparse threads surrounded by bitching. There's nothing to get a newcomer's gears churning in their skull at just what a great hobby this is and how fun it could be.
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No.64813
>>64812
IDs are only on a by-thread basis anyway and don't carry over between threads. Besides, usually writing style alone is enough to make it obvious if someone is the same person or not. Either way, it worked for Ero-Empire for however many dozen threads that went through. That said, yeah, we could use more actual roleplay threads, and the log thread could use much more life.
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No.64814
>>64813
Really? I didn't know that, I thought they were more permanent than that. But it is a complaint that I've heard from just me from /erp/ers, that the lack of any sort of latch able 'identity' prevents them from even starting. And, Most certainly, I'm constantly kicking myself that I can't get the motivation to edit the half dozen logs to boot mentions of my name to get a post into the thread at least every few days to keep it visible, as terrifying as more Fai posts would be. They may not be the best, but if they get someone to start writing out nonsense / jizz, they're doing their job.
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No.64815
>>64814
As far as I know they're thread-only, that's how they work on other boards at least. Again, nothing stopping people from making an identity for threads that call for it, like Ero Empire or the magical girl game that was/is going on, and if people are worried about others "taking" their identities so to speak, well, that's what tripcodes are for.
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No.64816
>>64508
>can't RP multi/gangbang scenarios because I start feeling jealous/insecure of fictional characters
erp is the only time people pay attention to me
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No.64817
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No.64824
>>64813
> Besides, usually writing style alone is enough to make it obvious if someone is the same person or not.
This is true. I've been found out countless times.
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No.65905
It's the lack of creativity in pacing, actions and dialogue that bothers most people. When you keep going back and forth without anything to change it.
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No.85973
Revive from the graveyard. 7 months ago.
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No.86033
-Put yourself in the scene and think about how your character feels, describe what is happening in his/her/its mind
-Describe what is happening with reference to the five senses.
-Describe the physical movements your character makes
-Whatever the specific fetish or focus of the play is should be referenced as much as possible, but always reference it in a unique way. Make use metaphors or similes, or even compare it to contradictory and/or normal situations.
One should aim for functional prose before one aims for an individual style. It's like a soap opera, the producers of such shows use the standard film techniques to clearly communicate what is happening, all the excitement produced therein is from the content itself. If they deviated from this path, they would be left with a jumbled mess, they don't have the time or ability to experiment like the masters of film.
I read a book on improving one's prose a long time ago, I also hold a reader's digest copy of 'how to write and speak better'. Both books agree that almost everyone can achieve functional prose, and that almost all books, and every popular contemporary book, are written in functional prose and not highly specialized personal prose.
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No.86052
>>64421
>it's a 'fai acts smug and superior about being the best writer God's ever graced with life' thread
Your posts are fucking disgusting. Throwing in your grotesque 'vocabulary', if you could even call it that, calling your partners shit like 'cum-snorting fuckpigs' and the most vomit-inducing scat-tier metaphors imaginable for cum and anatomy is not erotic, or high-tier. The one and only thing you're good at is drawing out posts for much, much longer than necessary. This is coming from a consistent multi-para roleplayer. You're one of the worst I've ever seen, and not because your writing is actually among the unironic worst WRITING I've ever seen, but because you think your mediocre-at-best, uninspired horeshit is a sign of Jesus's second coming. You are NOWHERE near as good as you think you are, and you will likely never be, because you are so smug and self-confident in your own superiority.
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No.86062
>>86052
But he wasn't acting like that. Acting defeatist over roleplay is super stupid because it leads to you never being unable to improve. I fucking swear, you all have some sort of hate boner for him or something.
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No.86064
>>86062
You seem to have ignored the fact that the whole of that post that wasn't a rambling triade about not being defeatist was 'I'm so absolutely incredible that tons of people come to me to help them with their writing, and my perfect advice being so honest made them upset because they'll never be as good as ME!'
Even the long-ass ramble where Fai proves that the reason why these apparently worshipful submissives actually stopped talking to him was because he is a distasteful, autistic piece of shit instead of just him being a writer on par with Dostoyevsky and de Cervantes - doing nothing but insulting and hurling profanities at someone who's already insecure and on-edge while giving no useful information except 'try harder loser (^:' in a total of 313 words - there's still an ungodly amount of masturbatory self-praise and implicit superiority. Everything he writes is dripping with a condescending sense that he thinks he's not only better than you are, but better than you will ever be, and it's infuriating because it's coming from someone who's barely a notch above the YA trash you see littering bookstores, or the low-effort furries always scuttling about like cockroaches.
I'm not sure if you're Fai dropping the name to try and improve his reputation or someone who's just accepted the mindset of 'Well, guess I'm shit, which means this guy is better than me!'.
Either way, this thread is ancient and I don't know why this asshole >>85973
tricked me into responding as though this was recent stuff.
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No.86084
>>86064
>Implying I'd drop Fai
>Implying outside of shitposting on here I don't have one of the most fragile egos about my writing because I know it's complete and utter shit against anyone with actual talent
>Not understanding that disgusting is part of the point
>Not understanding that just because I'm 'horseshit' doesn't mean I should be running around apologizing every other post like a piece of loser trash filth who has literally zero confidence in anything that I do.
>Implying that 'Try hard loser' isn't literally all you need to do.
90% of the people whining and complaining about how their posts are shit and can't improve, is because they don't fucking force themselves too. "It's too much work." "I don't feel like it." W
>Barely a notch above YA trash
>YA trash is some of the most profitable books on the fucking planet
Thanks fam. It's good to know you think I'm capable of writing something that will literally drown me in money. I was always worried people thought I wanted to be the next Gravity's Rainbow (or a writer at all, but.)
Also;
>I'm talking like I'm superior to people who whine and complain about how everything they do is horseshit.
You know, I'll actually agree with you on this point. I am better than them, because I at least have the self-confidence to respond to the people who are out of my league in an attempt, instead of floundering upon the floor like a whimpering child, thrashing about until the person before them either lower's their standards or leaves them be.
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No.86290
>>86084
Your advice was pretty useless, just like this thread.
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No.86472
>>64421
who the fuck is this dude and why is he always a smug piece of shit. Is he the resident autist?
Do people take ERP that seriously?
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No.86473
>>86472
>who the fuck is this dude and why is he always a smug piece of shit. Is he the resident autist?
He's a miserable person who makes up for his misfortune by being a dick on the internet.
>Do people take ERP that seriously?
Yes.
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No.86673
>>64421
Daily reminder that good prose does not come from use of synonyms.
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No.86675
>>64437
I'm not a native english speaker, but most people I RP with, think I'm from England; I'll take that as a good sign.
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No.86688
>>86673
Daily reminder that we aren't writing prose, nor something intellectually stimulating in the slightest 90% of the time. I see this shit as Harry Potter, whilst I get the feeling the people who say, 'Brevity is the soul of wit' think they're writing a Song of Ice and Fire.
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No.86689
>>86688
>holding up a modern arthurian fantasy generic grim world with no literary value whatsoever as the pinnacle of literature
>quoting the value of brevity while talking about ASOIF, one of the most unnecessarily elongated books of the modern era
Don't knock literature if it's this painfully obvious you have no experience with it.
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No.86701
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No.86712
>>86688
You should google 'prose' some day.
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No.86713
>>86712
Oh shit fam I'm just so sorry that the connotation of 'prose' went right over your fucking head.
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No.86714
>>86688
We get it, you can't manage to get your point across without writing paragraphs of purple.
Fortunately most of the rest of us don't have your particular disability.
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No.121464
>>64418
I don't consider myself bad but I don't fap to my lewd RPs either. Is that weird?
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No.121516
>>64418
>Tfw you have tons of concepts that could go on for ages that you would love every second of but they're always too niche for people to give a fuck
>Tfw you know that your writing isn't very good due to a lack of experience due to your strange niche ideas
>Tfw you have to resort to going on shitty sites like MnF to have some desperate motherfucker that will do anything and everything for somebody to give a fuck approach you, even though his writing is SHIT
>Tfw you always end up unsatisfied by the end of it and it only makes you crave some real RP even more
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No.121517
>>121516
Still no luck, bloatfly man?
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No.121518
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No.121521
>>121516
Hold up man, you got famous for dedication and focus on one particular idea. What other to of concepts?
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No.121526
>>121521
The reason why I haven't said anything about those is because they're even more niche than the main shit I want. Like a Bucculus oneshot/short term that I talked about in the requests thread, getting fucked/enslaved by a Moblin from Zelda, there's more but you get the idea. It's even more obscure than the shit I got famous for so I don't even bother looking for it
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No.121529
>>121526
Ah right, I recall now the name of your profile.
Well, in my opinion, "shouldn't bother" is a wrong attitude - finding any of them is a matter of lucky encounter, so you need to cast all your lures rather than just throw one repeatedly.
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No.121532
>>121529
Well, keep in mind the shit I just mentioned don't have any character profiles as far as I know so it literally doesn't exist on F-List
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No.121551
>>121532
What about general pigmen or pig orcs?
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No.121558
>>64810
wtf I love common sense now
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No.121580
>>121551
Because all of them that I've seen on F-Chat are straight
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No.202078
>Stare at the screen trying to come up with a starter that sounds good. Absolutely fucking nothing. It's trash, all trash. The personalities, the ideas, the words, the prose, the lack of atmosphere and emotion.
That's it I quit. I knew I should have read books since I was 5 and learned to socialize with intellectuals. Now I'm stuck as a fucking redneck who can't express himself. I quit. I shouldn't even be considered a mammal with consciousness anymore. A fucking puppy or kitten has more imagination for actions and playing than me at this point. I resign from this life.
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No.202101
>>64421
I thought was banned.
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No.202104
>>202101
That was written in 2016, anon.
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No.202213
>>64418
It's always easier to fap to someone else's writing than your own. Same way with art.
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No.202255
>>202078
I like it when my partners aren't as good as me anon, I'm not anything too special myself but it makes me feel more at ease when my partner is enjoying things more, maybe your partner is the same?
>grande
BR?
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No.202262
No one is ever as bad as they think they are. As long as you can keep yourself and someone else entertained, then you are doing it right. There really isn't a "right" way to do it overall, but rather a way that is right for the people playing together.
Improvement comes through taking advice thrown at you, working with people who you suspect are better at you, and just reading other erotic fiction in general. If I were to throw one piece of advice which has improved my quality is that I will go back and revise old RP's I've done, and in doing so I can see where I do wrong.
If you aren't able to find something, take a few paragraphs and forward it over to someone, and be like "Hey man, check this shit out for me. How would you rewrite this" and see their take on it.
If someone who has a decent ability is able to stick with you without dropping the scene, then thats a good sign. You can be jealous of how someone writes their posts, but don't just lust after their words, use that jealousy to improve yourself.
Hope this helps in anyway.
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No.202265
>Have English as my third language
>Get good enough that I do multi para shit without real effort
>My partners, both old and new regularly compliment my style and writing
Took a few years, but I made it fam
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No.202370
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No.202373
>>202101
He is, and it's a good example of why he is since he's literally been a shithole who did nothing but spew shit for years.
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No.202374
>>202373
He's literally right in that post tho'. People who fucking drop plays because "hurr durr I'm not good enough" or other such shit deserve the fucking gulag.
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No.202382
>>202374
Friendly reminder that the majority of his posts are right, it's just /erp/ is a bunch of whimpering and spineless dick sockets who don't want to be told their bullshit reasons for [not doing X] are bullshit and they should get over themselves.
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No.202393
>>202374
Not really. He's already absolved himself from offering any help to the person by saying 'You whine and complain that you're shit, someone's probably tried to help you out, AND THEN YOU JUST IGNORE IT. God fuck.' and just wanted to post to be angry. Which is fine and all that, we all do it, but it's definitely there to help himself feel better and not create a dialog.
>>202382
Friendly reminder that the person who is 'right' doesn't follow his own logic and has gone into several wildly mental breakdowns.
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No.202934
The autistic way to go about it is to set dummy rules until you're good enough to break them. Don't use "ly" adverbs, don't write "he did x as he y" or "his x did y while his a b'ed", purposefully try to start sentences with things other than a possessive pronoun, verb, character name or 'the', use a thesaurus, not to simply repeat the same thing again and again worded differently but because looking at loose synonyms might give you ideas on phrasing, and finally don't overuse adjectives, change phrasing if you need to pile on adjectives like hell. These rules are shit, they will limit you like fuck and you won't be able to write jack shit. That's why they're "dummy" rules. They're meant for idiots who don't know anything and need to follow rules until they get some idea of what is good and what is bad. If you feel like you're so shit at writing and going to whine about it then set your own rules like this. These were my rules for the longest time. Look at someone you admire as a writer on flist or otherwise. Compare the phrasing, use of adjectives, adverbs, and prepositions. What makes you so shit? Blindly calling yourself "Shit" is probably just emotional masturbation from your head falling into the habit of hating yourself. It's not actual self criticism. "God I'm so bad" does nothing, it changes nothing. You say you're shit so go ahead, stare at your shittiness and take it all in, look at it. What makes it shit? Self awareness is nothing but self torture if not corrected with action. If you don't want to take action then do yourself a favor and stop being self aware, you'll enjoy life far more.
Or better yet, stop caring about how you write and enjoy the partners you have. They're playing with you for a reason. You have worth as it is and you're good at what you do. The proof is right in front of you. Do you really think someone way above your league apparently would waste their time with you if you were so unbearably bad? No, that makes no sense. If people like you, they like you. An example is I always thought I was shit at writing, yet people who apparently really hate male and blue characters always played with me. I asked them why and they all gave me the same answer. "You do shy guys in a very unique way". People far, far better than me played with me because I was good at that. Chances are it's the same with you, you have skills you don't even see because you're too busy wallowing in self hatred. This isn't to say "It's just your style man" is okay, no. Work on your technical writing abilities. If you're really shit at writing what you call "style" is just your limitations in writing and your inability to do anything else. Picasso once said "“It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”, and it's exactly the same in writing. Master the basic skills and only then does your choice of "style" have any meaning. Don't worry about things like style or uniqueness off the bat, work on technical abilities.
I should really stop going on here so late, I always get so ranty.
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No.203166
The depressing truth is that some people just have an innate gift. They have a clear sense of what sounds right. Their work flows off the page from the first draft. They know how to create feeling without even trying. That's not to say that they don't struggle, that they don't spend ages writing and rewriting. But there's no underlying awkwardness, no deep and all-pervading flaws. You could call it flair, I suppose. You either have it, or you can do your best to fake it I guess.
>>202934 speaks the truth
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No.278116
Dear /erp/ because of erping I have grown depressed as suicidal due to the fact I've realized through rping just how incompetent I am at talking and exuding emotions and a personality. Whenever I rp with someone at my level it feels dull and unsatisfying. Whenever I see a real competent writer it feels very charming and immersing to read her prose.
I have equated that charming writers are also charming people IRL and dull people in written prose are just as dull in real life as they are in written form.
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No.278124
>>278116
There is sadly some truth to this. It's like how you can typically tell when a story is written by an intelligent person versus written by a dullard trying to sound intelligent. On one side we have someone reasoning through their actions with logic that makes sense within the story, on the other side whatever a "smart" person does simply works because they are so bright it's practically clairvoyance/magic.
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