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/erp/ - Erotic Roleplay

Where bisexual means you don't like men
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File: 9ec702cccb240c4⋯.png (484.39 KB,946x1388,473:694,level 90 oblivious protag.png)

 No.133574 [View All]

Old one didn't make it through the april 1st bullshit (it's in the catalog, but 404s when you click it), so here's a new one.

Basically, this thread is for when you're unsure about a character/profile of yours, like:

>you think your profile is too short, but don't know what to add

>you think your profile is too long, but don't know what to cut

>you're not sure how good your character concept is

>you're not getting any play, in spite of your views

So post it here, and I (as well as anybody else who feels like it) will look it over and give you constructive criticism about how to potentially improve it

557 postsand136 image repliesomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.196167

>>196157

If you are on f-list for just that one particular kink, you need to think really hard about how to make the idea of a human shota as appealing to that group as possible. The profiles themselves look great, but the character is nothing that grabs your attention. Working out a better idea could even attract people who might make a character just for the chance to play with you. The more you narrow your options, the more miserable you're going to be.

And just out of curiosity, what would be your top monster species to play with if you had to choose?

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 No.196658

File: ee420274358c159⋯.gif (265.86 KB,300x357,100:119,tumblr_ow0ddmYnj91vgzd4so4….gif)

I'm going to post my main character here, because I did a revamp of her not too long ago, and never really sought after feedback.

https://www.f-list.net/c/pepper%20rainglow/

There is a decent amount of written content on there, so I tried to keep the main information outside of the collapses with all of the other stuff being extra or serving as reference for me. Seeing how this is my newest "big" profile, I figure I could get some feedback now for whenever I work on my next project.

Thank you,

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 No.196769

>>196658

Alright. So this might be the compliment sandwich type deal but I don't really know what else to phrase it as.

I think you have a good profile and great kink list and the like. My issue and this is more my problem then something wrong with it. Is that when I see profiles like that with all those kink lists. When I'm not into or don't know enough about a decent number of them. Plus in the info tab the main thing you are looking for is TF based scenes. Which is not my forte. I might not approach because I can't really come up with an idea that I'd feel would keep you interested if that makes sense? I'd personally maybe pass over Pepper not because. Oh, Pepper's a shitter but rather. Can I keep her interested? I don't think I'm in the target audience for Pepper.

So yeah. Those are my personal thoughts there. Hopefully, that is of some value to you? But besides that. I've always like your layouts and the seeming knack you have for profile layout and colors.

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 No.196791

>>196658

You gotta stop doing icons like that dude. I can appreciate you wanting to go for a different look that isn't just a circle or rounded corners or something, but make a transparent cutout instead. The raised 3D thing just looks like a not very good Photoshop effect or something.

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 No.196884

>>196769

I can understand why having a large kinks list like that can be a bit of a turn off to some people who may think me being into a lot of stuff equates to me being hard to please. I know this sounds silly as the kinks list is still fairly long compared to most, but thats actually after I picked off a lot of unnecessary kinks. I've tried not to add more kinks onto the main profile, and at least try to say what themes I'm looking for somewhere on the page.

Also, thank you for the compliments on the profile as well. Your feedback was valuable!

>>196791

I'll take it into consideration. I swap out my icons every now and then, so I'll mess around with it and see what I can do. I was thinking about doing transparent cut outs for the canon characters I have, and rounded corner icons for the OC/Canon Varriences.

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 No.197057

>>196884

Honestly with long kink lists like that. Just trick people by using the sub-fetish editor. It's all presentation so with the collapsable you can hide it. Make it seem less overwhelming. Might need some reorganizations to get everything with collapses but it should help.

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 No.198977

File: af3051f97974228⋯.png (744.43 KB,904x1261,904:1261,xxxx52-276671-Centaur_Slav….png)

Mixed on this. On one hand, who cares, it's a low-effort purple and I don't like purples anyway (though apparently can make some kind of exception for 'taurs). One the other hand, I'd maybe like to improve it if I could figure out how to do it.

https://www.f-list.net/c/iphaza/

shemale centaur rapist. Get enslaved and broken by horsecock etc etc.

Issues:

Most of my other profiles feel like they actually have a bit of character that still lends itself to RP. This feels more like it's a barely-characterized rapebeast and nothing more. It kind of is, but at the same time I'm used to having some kind of… CHARACTER to it.

How do rape as a centaur? You can't exactly hold someone in place (or line up for the target…) without having someone tied completely down. Maybe have a gang, so other centaurs can assist? I guess that sorta works, but both restraints and assistance make it a lot of textual effort on my end to make things happen on top of being the dom. (And F-list, on average, is historically bad at restraints) And if I'm going to make it a group, should I rename the profile to make it clear it's a tribe/posse?

Flexibility. Given that it's an excuse to have a purple horsecock, it feels like maybe I want to be open to playing it in multiple settings- modern fantasy, ancient fantasy, whatever. But that obliterates what little characterization I've already got.

I don't know. On one hand, fuck it, I have my low-quality purple. On the other hand it'd be nice to be able to link it to my normal lists without feeling (undue) shame.

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 No.199040

File: 1d456c220a1f48d⋯.jpg (128.69 KB,766x1042,383:521,Black Dragon #2.jpg)

>>198977

Threaten them. People will usually give in to demands rather than die. Trust me, in a heat of the moment situation most people's characters end up going "okay fine I'll do it" rather than have eight hundred pounds of centaur stomp on their elbow with a hoof and crush it with agony.

You can trample them, break their knees, all kinds of things. Or none of them if you don't like violence. The threat of it is the point. If the character you've got is like, in some kind of society or community they could have bondage-tier stands where humans (or whatever it is she's raping) is bound and then it's made in a way that a horse finds easy to mount.

As far as flexibility goes, you just gotta think of a universally applicable position in all settings. You probably don't need a blacksmith in sci-fi and you don't need a programmer in fantasy, but escorts? Scum living on welfare and race-focused government relief? Doesn't have to be those but you get the point. Look at why she's even doing the raping in the first place, what the motive is behind it and if you can find a deeper reason other than "xd horny" and put that common thread in all the variations of settings you want to play her in.

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 No.199362

https://www.f-list.net/c/atia%20silo

My profile's pretty clearly crap but I don't know what to add!

If you have tips or anything (or want to ERP despite it) shoot me a reply or, even better, a note.

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 No.199464

File: 53b66ce3d69ad83⋯.png (70.21 KB,326x323,326:323,When you said the states i….png)

>>199362

The profile is bare and it needs some more content. I'd suggest writing out what the characters personality is, and just what kind of character they are in general. They can be a versatile, multi-setting character if you want them to be, but try to give out general interests.

Even though its not ERP related, a good example of a characters that can fit into multiple settings, but still manage to be 'their own character' are any of the loony toon characters. Daffy Duck can work in a forest setting, a modern setting, or a space setting, but there are still characteristics that make him Daffy Duck. If you want to go the whole "open to any kind of scenes", you got to really focus on the personality, basic interests for the character.

A good thing to do for a character that you have nothing for is to look up Character Sheets (heres a list of them I found - http://thatfrenchhelper.tumblr.com/post/50763359227/character-sheets-and-character-creation ) Just fill some of these out, it'll help you think about the character a bit more, who they are, what they're about, etc.

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 No.201750

File: b23067d3b53ab67⋯.png (405.76 KB,650x800,13:16,95764b9f47caac4d12127db99e….png)

https://www.f-list.net/c/Tanya%20Degurechaff

I realized I had this name, and I dont know the first thing about making a profile pretty.

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 No.201756

>>201750

Signature on the bottom right. Everything else is pretty nice. Lined effect might screw up how it looks for some resolutions though. A good start.

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 No.201762

>>201756

Oh that's not what I'm going to use, I just liked it and took it from another profile. 99% sure stealing inlines is bannu

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 No.201767

>>201750

>The actual writing isn't very good, either suffering from run-on sentences or straight up typos/grammar issues

>It's also just a recap of her backstory, which anyone familiar with the character will alreadry know

>The kinks are just personality traits, rather than actual kinks, and there are only three

>No inline

>Suffers the same shit most canon profiles do, with having 20+ images that are just character hentai

Zero actual original thought to be found here. Just other people's porn, a clumsy synopsis of shit people already know, and three irrelevant custom kinks. Might as well delete and let someone who actually cares have a crack at it.

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 No.201768

>>201767

Nah. Not giving the name up.

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 No.201882

>>201768

Then fix those issues. Find someone to make an inline for you because that profile is just going to waste away when you inevitably lose interest from barely any people approaching.

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 No.201907

File: ed23e0e70467a9b⋯.gif (259.01 KB,500x375,4:3,ed2.gif)

>>201882

I don't know if there is much of an interest in it, but I actually enjoy messing around in Photoshop to make inlines and stuff. I don't make the best looking shit on the site, but I do like messing around with various images to make something eye catching.

Canon characters or characters with a lot of images (and preferably a transparent image) always make it easier for me to do things. This is a gallery I uploaded onto Imgur a while back ( https://imgur.com/a/wJPMZ ). I'm Pepper Rainglow on F-List, and most of these inlines are live on my profiles.

Honestly, I didn't know how much /erp/ valued things like this so I wasn't going to throw myself out here, but there are some people (like you) who can dig design.

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 No.202117

P E P

E a

P s

h

i

t

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 No.202118

>>202117

Hmmm???

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 No.202135

How do you do the striated line-like custom kinks that are all the rage? I know how to do the super big letter ones, but the other thing is eluding me. Step by step please, I'm a fucking retard.

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 No.202261

>>202135

are you talking about the "custom fonts" ?

https://www.messletters.com/en/

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 No.202263

>>202261

I know about messletters and custom fonts. I was talking about how they have the lines on the sides leading down and a couple other fancies.

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 No.207823

Hey /erp/, I have an idea for a character and I wanted some advice for her profile's writeup.

To keep it short and simple, she was born into slavery, and spent her childhood in chains, looking for a way out. Then she conveniently found her escape in the form of blood magic, and is now on the run looking for a better life.

So, obviously it's more of a story-heavy character, and I already got an idea for what I'm looking for, that being tender romantic partners to comfort her and help her overcome her shitty past. Question just is what I write into that big empty space of the profile itself.

What do you guys think? What should I mention about her character? Is there anything I should maybe keep a secret for people to find out during RP?

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 No.207911

>>202263

Box drawing unicode, "spaces" that are small enough to be invisible but still recognized by F-List as a character, and prayer that everything sorts like you want it to.

>For spaces (and an idea of how they sort so you can abuse them)

https://www.f-list.net/c/unicode%20sort%20test

>For box drawing unicode

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Box-drawing_character#Encodings

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 No.208246

https://www.f-list.net/c/mactator I've made some changes from last time I've posted. Better or worse? Should I change/tweak the inline y'think?

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 No.209850

File: 2014b048caa5f1f⋯.jpg (196.49 KB,850x566,425:283,fujimaru_ritsuka_gorgon_an….jpg)

I've been working out on filling a character summary part of a profile. I'm having trouble deciding the formatting of it, however. Not BBCode, just the content and what order I cover all the central aspects of the character in.

What I need to contain in this is the summary information about her. There's several paragraphs that will make up that content but I need to think of topics, order and execution. First of all, I'll start with an introduction that says what setting she's from, what her position in it is and what the setting itself is (not necessarily in that order).

But now, where do I go from here? Origin? Abilities? Personality? Appearance? Relationships? Those are just example topics honestly and I may or may not use them, but that's not important. What's important is… I need to think about the order I do these in, but it has to be in a way that makes most sense for anyone reading. In other words, it needs to be a clear line of succession from topic to topic, each one building upon the previous one and I don't know what that order is just yet.

I can drop a paragraph, and at the very most two paragraphs for each 'topic' of sorts since it's not supposed to be an enormous encyclopedia since nobody's gonna fucking read that but concise enough that someone can storm through it and have a fairly rough grasp on all the important bits. With that in mind I don't really care how many paragraphs there end up being in total so long as important aspects are discussed. My intent is that after reading this summary collapse they'll have a grasp of where the character's from, who she is, what she's done, what she's capable of and what she's like as a person. Maybe who are affiliated with her, too. Now those are good guidelines for me to follow but I have no idea which order I should approach them in that makes most sense for the reader.

My intent is that I can put them in an order that feels like it flows pretty easily and some random shmuck stumbling onto my profile can start reading from the top and go down without feeling jarred by the topic transition between paragraphs.

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 No.210917

>>207823

Put exactly as much detail about her history on the profile as you gave us just now, but keep the full backstory in mind. The rest of the profile should be good with personality details (even if she didn't live much of a life until now, it's still nice to get an idea of what your partner is going to act like). Also a few details about the blood magic is likely in order: What can she do with it, and how did she get it while a slave? Depending on how much you want to be uncovered during the game, you can just sort of gloss over some of the details with the magic, but you should at least mention whether or not she can puppeteer people with it, since that'll probably make or break a partner or two. If, after saying everything you want to say, the profile still looks sparse, toss in an inline for good measure.

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 No.210928

>>209850

Generally speaking you want to go in order of importance and do your best to make it flow; people are going to read from the top and get bored eventually, so the paragraph should be the vitals: who IS she (primarily personality, maybe some of the basics of what she is if she's something special)? After that, things that would be really good to know and are likely to come into play: what she does and what she is capable of doing. Save history and especially relationships for the end; while it's nice to have a backstory and reasons for why she is who she is, what happened before isn't as important as what's happening now, and 9 times out of 10 in practice it's not going to matter at all what made her that way, only that she IS that way.

In the event that you can't come up with good transitions, just section them off into appropriately labeled collapse boxes.

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 No.211423

What do you guys do for a character who's kind of complicated? I've got a character (asian) mixed in with some raceplay and cursed demons blood but how long should I spend trying to explain what that actually means to someone reading the profile or should I just have-

>physical and character description

>things the profile is for

>ooc

in that order?

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 No.211465

>>211423

one sentence that she is asian. if she participates in whatever her ancestral culture is in some way, give that one sentence. if that participation is a big part of her life, MAYBE give one sentence explaining that.

>Emiko's mother was a white american and her father was a Japanese citizen. She speaks Japanese in addition to English and competes every year in flower arranging competitions for fun.

One sentence for her having cursed demon blood and what that curse does to her physically. One sentence for how she feels or behaves because of that cursed demon blood. One sentence for how the cursed demon blood will affect your partner.

>Emiko is cursed and if she becomes upset enough, glass and pottery near her may crack spontaneously. She has spent most of her life being quietly furious about it and has been trying to remove the curse for years. If anyone learns about it, either by asking her directly or piecing clues together on their own, Emiko feels embarrassed and ashamed.

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 No.211793

I'm probably going to regret asking, but is there anything I can do to further refine my profile? It's a bit dark/morbid, but the idea is to attract players who are into that kind of story.

https://www.f-list.net/c/Sable%20North

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 No.217395

I'd just like a critique. Anything that should be added, taken out, or expanded on?

https://www.f-list.net/c/seraph%20andromeda

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 No.217675

>>211793

While the profile isn't bad. Like… there's a sense of dissonance with the presentation and the target niche.

To the average person who goes straight to kinks or the picture tab, they'd skip all that. Yeah, I know, that's not who/what you are looking for.

So I'm sort of getting the idea Sable is like a warden of sort for criminals and tries to reinstitutionalise them. But you are exposition this to me, not selling me on it. So you need to take what you have and add your own like voice to it. Add some color and use the kinks to really grab the attention of people. Even if it's for things that aren't literal kinks. Use it as a space to hook in or grasp your readers. Or help guide them. I admittedly. Would need you to expand more about HOW, or WHAT, forms of reverse corruption your profile is about. To you? It might be obvious, to me? Not sure! Say I approach you what a white fang rapist. What would he/she come out as? A Model citizen? A worker drone for the Schnee? Some kind of spy or double agent? Cannon fodder? Would Sable let them go? Or just keep her subjects forever?

>>217395

There's nothing stand out wrong with your profile. But I'd expand a bit a bit on what makes Andromeda stand out or what might you like to do with her. Give her some notable traits or purposed flaws. You do have a few in that she was hotheaded and paid for it, but I think there is still room for more.

Reading the profile, I'd not have much of an idea beyond. Capture, rape, sex slave, maybe breed the seraph. (since it's a maybe for you.) Maybe use her students as leverage/hostages. But well. While that isn't necessarily a bad thing. There could be room for something more you know?

Doesn't have to be much, but it could be a quest for vengeance to twist for a murdered friend, family, ect. Or maybe she's been raped before? And so that's why she's extra cross with demons or other types. A bit of a complex about it. There's just room to add more to her motivation I think. If she starts to fall for carnal pleasures her powers weaken, some weakness or like. Something to latch onto or use. The healing factor is a good thing for violence play, and I think it could be highlighted a little more.

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 No.217702

>>217675

Those are some good notes. I admit, this is my first sadist character so I tried to write in a very grim way to appeal to people who would be into that sort of thing. However, I don't really completely understand the appeal of masochism except that it's the opposite of the appeal of sadism. Aside from that, I tried to write in a blank, cold tone because I feel like it matches the character's personality. A section of the profile dedicated to the "after treatment" part of the story would be a good addition, I'll try to write one later today. Thank you for your input.

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 No.217974

>>217675

Good points, I'll work on it. Thanks.

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 No.218305

>>217702

To follow up I added about a paragraph explaining what happens after treatment. If anyone wants to take a look and tell me what they think, I'd be grateful.

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 No.218499

File: 7a8fc827a0ea66a⋯.png (16.16 KB,250x245,50:49,tumblr_pa3d37gwhP1vyy18ro1….png)

https://www.f-list.net/c/Lynn%20Rivera

I think there's something I'm missing with this character because it's like I can't get anything concrete with partners.

Personally, I think the idea I tried to go for is fuckin' cute and I'd love for some slice-of-life shenanigans with him whether it's related to his mall security job or his college life but the radio silence has me thinking there's something that screams "shitter" about the character or that I'm just missing a unique something to get some catches.

Or it could be that he's just another femboy and there isn't a demand for him in an over-saturated market, especially if he's over 18.

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 No.218508

>>218499

I wish I could help you because you seemed like a cool guy when we briefly spoke recently. However, I don't have much of an idea on how to make a good male profile. Maybe you could add more about his personality or how he spends his time?

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 No.218512

>>218508

Thanks a bunch, anon!

I think I'll do just that and work on the kink list a little bit.

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 No.218516

>>218512

Someone once said that you should write "what a character does" more than "who the character is". I dunno how true that is, but doing a little bit of both couldn't hurt, right?

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 No.218574

>>218499

I'm no expert, but I think it needs a hook.

Sex driven? How are partners going to get the dick? Does he like, jerk off in the workplace hoping nobody finds out? I don't know.

You could work on the kinks a bit too. The first thing I thought was "Hmm femboy… I'd fuck that… In the ass."

But then I see that's in maybes. Yet your faves are mostly blank. So what do you want? So far I know you like traps dressing up. Are you going for something kink-based? Then write some kinks and why you love that shit.

As it is, I can think he's more for story/character driven stuff. But then, what kind of job does he want? What does he like?

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 No.218801

File: 3846b6da677aab5⋯.png (347.95 KB,1257x949,1257:949,patpat.png)

>>217395

Good to see another angel writer! You've got a solid base for the profile but it could definitely benefit from some extra aesthetic work and bbcode dickery to emphasize and stylize the profile better.

I'd, personally, begin by cutting out the dropdowns - they're really unnecessary to the profile build, and typically stand out pretty poorly, due to their weird boxy borders. The ad dropdown honestly doesn't need to exist - you're better off just saving the ads you write in a docs file to reference for later. As for scenarios, I'd separate 'em from the main body with an [hr] - then have the base concepts emboldened 'and italicized.'

Also, I'd suggest [sub]ing the bottom text of the profile - art disclaimers are honestly pretty unnecessary, and, if they're there, they ought'a take as little screenspace as possible unless you're actually nabbing somebody's fursona or whatever.

Now, for the main description - it's solid, but it could flow better. A lot of sentences start off with 'she' or 'her', and could be combined together to sound more solid, along with adding in some extra details to catch the eye. Take the quote about her eye injuries- it'd flow better as something like– "Her foolhardy nature had cost her dearly - and, during the heat of the battle, the Angel was driven back and wounded; overwhelmed in her fury, one of the beasts had blinded her. The horde could - and would - have done more– had she not been rescued after that agonizing moment. The wounds, though grievous, would heal, and her sight would eventually return; though the Divine still chooses to bear the blindfold as a reminder of her mistakes - and penance for her hate."

That'd be my take on it - but take it as you will! Outside of that, I'd adjust some minor details; it's kinda unnecessary to list off exactly how old a character is when they're well in their thousands- just keep it blank and refer to it if somebody asks during a scene - and you generally want to capitalize the titles for kinks. "Her halo/wings" sounds better as "Her Halo & Wings", as does "Heavy Story Focus."

On the topic of kinks - don't forget to put work into 'em, too! It helps to have subkinks; either segmenting the entire body of subkinks off into FAVES/YES/MAYBE/NO or having body types/genders/BDSM get placed into individual subkinks does a lot in making the kink list easier to read - as do extra customs detailing specific body/character types you'd be interested in. Do you prefer your characters big, buff, and muscular? Do you want 'em slight and femmy? Or, would'ja rather them be fat, old, bald, and ugly? Having these things detailed out is both helpful for explaining out what you'd specifically like to see in a partner, and entice the reader with your skill at writing customs.

That's all I've got to say for now, I think. Give some of my suggestions a shot, if you'd like - and ask away, if you're unsure about the code or what sort of styles look best!

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 No.218811

>>218499

Well first, you should fill out all your customs. One or two being empty is fine I think, but having about half them pop up with no description is a turn off. At least for me it is. And since you write all your customs ICly, you'll have to think about what your character would find hot about those specific things.

I think >>218574 is on the right track here. It seems sort of unclear what you actually want to do with your character. I know it's hard not to want to just suck everyone in that you can with one character, but you'll have much better luck finding high quality partners (who you can later convince to write other kinds of characters for you) if you go for specific things. Like if you want a trap/MILF to step on your face and jerk you off or something, you should probably gear it more towards that. Like, you have a little description about how he's a tiny little security guard, so it follows that you might want to mention that for some reason, pretty boys in skirts and lonely women just love bullying him to orgasm–assuming that's what you're going for.

In my humble opinion, I find it useful to write a vignette as the main body of your paragraph. It'll help actually characterize the character in a way a general description can't do.

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 No.218902

>>218305

Hmm. It gets the job done. But there is the main issue that we both are playing from one point of view and not the other. I admitedly tend to play more hammy sadists. The kind that will mockinly appologise for driving a stake through somebodys hands to pin them to the wall, or twist it for the lulz. So I try to add a darkest dungeon type narrator to clash and add the dread with the eager sadism. So it's take it with a pinch of salt.

I do think it would be a decent space to sort of showcase Sable's crazyness or methods. Might she view her work as 'art' or just a job. If she likes to experiment because well, she has disposable subjects that people aren't exactly going to miss, and can dangle that fact over them. If she might have any works or reforms that she's particularly proud of. Like say a converted criminal into a devout follower converted to her ways and eager to bring the next unlucky subject to the light.

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 No.218919

>>218902

I'll keep that in mind, but stylistically it's not a very easy thing for me to fix so I might need to do some brainstorming first.

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 No.218928

>>218919

While not guaranted you can ask some of your partners what aspect of your writting stands out. Some people might be able to help point out where your tonal strengths lie.

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 No.218940

>>218928

Oh, I asked a partner in my guestbook and she likes how cold and distant Sable is compared to more typical doms. I think that could be either a strength or a weakness depending on the partner though.

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 No.218952

Fair. In that case I'd probably say turn up the experiment factor and down the empathy. (Which you have a good grasp on anyways.) They aren't people. They're experiments test subjects The this is my job thing, in a twisted 9-5 sense. Maybe some quota to fill or the like.

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 No.219676

>>218952

Good notes, but it's a little tricky because at her heart Sable is a moral idealist. She genuinely thinks she's doing what's best for her victims. So there's empathy there deep down, but she also believes that putting on a tough exterior is often the best way to intimidate someone into reform. The thing about it being a job is a good idea, I think as she is obsessively dedicated to her work.

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 No.225661

>>218801

Good advice, thanks! I'll get working on it.

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