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/erp/ - Erotic Roleplay

Where bisexual means you don't like men
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File: bd96acf16a8d948⋯.png (2.54 MB,1157x1636,1157:1636,__original_drawn_by_platin….png)

 No.122558 [View All]

Now I know a raised a few eyebrows with that one, but bear with me here.

I love you guys, I really do. If it wouldn't do to my social life what Godzilla does to innocent Japanese cities, I'd openly consider typefucking to be my hobby. Whenever I see someone with a profile that they clearly put some actual work into messaging me, it makes me feel like a princess. The fact that I have you guys around to rescue me from the ERP community's dark pit of Chris-chan clones is really what's kept me going these past few years.

It's just that every once in a while I get hit up by a profile that could be summarized with "ey gurl u wan sum fuk lol". We've all been messaged by that person. We've all leaned back from the screen when we see that sonic recolor icon smugly staring us in the face. It's a bizarre kind of cuteness when you're PM'd by the "no bully 4 muh bad gremmer!!! X(" autismo who clearly didn't read your profile and wants to know if you'd be willing to change your loli character's breast size up to a GG cup. (Your character is a trap, by the way.)

I get a weird kick out of playing with these kinds of guys. I could always say that there's some kind of power-related kinkiness that I get out of it or that playing with someone who barely expects a couple of sentences feels refreshing, but when it all comes down to it, I'd just like to think that they feel as if they've struck gold. So many nights of dead fish and poofing and now they have a multipara player who gives them so much for so little. I've been around long enough to know that I'm not the only one who likes doing this shit and feeling like a slutty Mother Teresa.

Earlier this week I was small-talking with one such guy and the conversation turned to dragon dildos. I admitted that I'd always liked the look of fancy dildos, but sadly I'm too much of a poorfag to purchase one. He told me that I deserved nice things and offered to buy me one if I had some sort of wishlist that I could link him, but he heavily implied that he expected a picture of me using it in return. I pussied out because I hadn't expected the sudden offer and I've only ever been given gifts online by close friends.

I've been mulling over things since then and not only do I regret it, I want to try my luck again. I want to find another dumbass willing to buy me shit. I've seen friends get stuff just from doing dumb "teehee ima gurl :3" routines that you'd normally think would never work, so surely I could at least knock down some stuff on my steam wishlist using decent-to-good typefucking skills as a service. I'll readily admit that I've never tried to offer my "Cybering" skills in exchange for cash or wave the promise of some boobs in some spoiled rich teen's face, so I'll have to admit that I feel a little lost. That being said…

TL;DR: /erp/, have you ever tried to use your skills to get someone to buy you shit or give you cash? Did it work? MMOs aside, are there some places where people are more "Generous" than others?

16 postsand1 image replyomitted. Click reply to view. ____________________________
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 No.122927

>>122926

Doing more chunk-sized stuff is probably preferable. I know Oppa takes 30$+ per 1000, but he's established and all that. Not amazing, not all that bad.

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 No.123113

File: 8681a79f8850b61⋯.jpg (726.56 KB,850x1202,425:601,8c83e03b791e99743dafd04bb1….jpg)

>>122558

This post is super relatable for me, I don't know how I haven't thought of making a thread about fishing inexperienced, gullible, horny and just all around awful before. It's so hard to say no to them, and I feel like such a complete tool afterwards; it's great. And I just LOVE the way they cling afterwards, makes me feel so irresistible, and it gives me the perfect opportunity to tug at their heart strings if I'm in the mood to be a real slut!

I'm installing Wow again right now, MMOs are completely filled with these kinds of clingy fucks who would kill just to talk to a girl online.

>>122577

>"gutter-diving"

I like that.

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 No.123162

>>122926

>>122927

Yeah, the raw number per words sound fine, must've been more on the stamina/ideas issue.

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 No.123224

>>123162

Mostly stamina, a lot of comissions are basically 'Here's an idea, now write 4 me pls'

I just got bored of it really super fucking quick. Start at 30 an hour on chapter one, ended up at 10 by the end of it from how much of a slough it was to write. Never taking such a lump of work again.

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 No.123457

Made $75 for about 30 minutes of joi and linking pictures

feels good senpai

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 No.123790

I’ve written smut for people before, now and again, but I never suckered anyone into it; it was a simple exchanges of money and services.

It wasn’t RP, either; it was old-fashioned, one-person writing, in which I wrote about their character with some other characters.

If I were willing to advertise, and willing to do kinks I don’t find fun, I’m sure I could very easily charge for ERP. I’m good at it. Trouble is, I can’t charge anyone who’s good enough to play with me on their own merits, which means I’m not having any fun, which means I might as well get back to work on my next god-awful Amazon mom porn story collection, and make a hell of a lot more money than I ever could off of RP.

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 No.123820

File: 64054d788caeabd⋯.jpg (350.88 KB,1023x723,341:241,3a9565cc896b75d6bdc72a3672….jpg)

>>123790

Where do you sell your smut? You advertise your services for that somehow, or do they come to you?

I ask because selling smut might be kinda fun. I've written it for free elsewhere and gotten decent feedback, though smut is graded on a pretty gentle curve. Writing lewds for profit might be fun.

Point me where to go to be a word-whore

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 No.123827

>>123790

>which means I might as well get back to work on my next god-awful Amazon mom porn story collection

Huh, interesting.

How many copies do these books sell on average?

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 No.124014

>>123820

RP partners. I don’t advertise, nor do I write for people I don’t know (not least because you can’t trust people to pay). Most of my partners have … shall we say … eclectic tastes, and I can accommodate kinks they’d never be able to find in the wild, even though I’m not that into them myself. I have a sort of weird empathy, I guess, that grants me the ability to understand kinks and write them well without actually getting anything out of it.

It’s not a common thing. I do it maybe once every few months, and I charge about $75 for a 2,000–3,000 word story, which is pretty reasonable, considering my abilities.

>>123827

Well enough to keep me off the street, that’s about it. I have a pathological recalcitrance and a fractiousness that renders traditional employment … unfeasible, to put it gently. There are all sorts of blogs and guides and reddits and AMAs and books about books and people who’ll sell you The Secret™ for only $127, and so on and so forth, all of which are full of shit, with a few scant exceptions. Here’s the real trick: figure out how the stupid fucking sites work (hardest step by far), set up a mailing list, stick said list in every book, include a link to another book in every book, and then release one story every week without fail for about a year. Eventually someone will bite. I have a friend who’s hit the six-figure range with it, and he tells me I could be making twice what he does with my “talent,” but he writes twelve hours a day, every day, for the past three years, and I lack the strength of will or focus to do that.

Reading the kind of books you want to write helps a lot, too, but I should hope that goes without saying.

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 No.124032

>>124014

>$75 for a 2,000–3,000 word story

Dang, not bad.

>then release one story every week without fail for about a year

Whelp, I'm out.

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 No.124050

>>124014

> include a link to another book in every book, and then release one story every week without fail for about a year

Yeah, that's what I heard. Interlinking and grind grind grind grind at it.

>but he writes twelve hours a day, every day, for the past three years

Yep, that too. It's a job, not free lunch.

I do not quite get what you mean with the mailing list part though?

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 No.124063

>>124014

> have a pathological recalcitrance and a fractiousness that renders traditional employment … unfeasible,

>Most of my partners have … shall we say … eclectic tastes,

Wew if even a shitter like you can make money from these things, I have to try it myself.

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 No.124109

>>124050

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_mailing_list

You make one, and then you tell the people on it when there's a new book.

>>124063

You’re criticizing me for having a broad range of partners, and for getting by without a day job, a boss, or a trust fund. I’m not sure I understand.

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 No.124110

>>124109

Don't mind him - I admire you from finding alternative employment in this harsh and crushingly capitalistic world. Good speed, and I hope you can keep it up.

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 No.124216

>>124109

Ah so "subscribe here to receive notifications about new books" thing?

Also what >>124110 says, using your passion as income source is rad as hell. And accommodating friends' esotheric kinks is awesome, godspeed to you on both

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 No.124224

>>124109

I'm criticizing your,… use of a, shall we say… stylistic method twice in a row. Which is, for me, a… clear sign that you're a… shitter lacking… creativity.

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 No.124227

>>124224

Maybe he's taking a conversational tone. I don't know why the use of ellipses expressing verbal pauses means a lack of creativity.

Don't be a dingle.

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 No.124231

>>124227

I don't know, if any one used the words he's using in a casual conversation I would be wondering why he's trying to wank on a thesaurus whilst we're chatting.

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 No.124234

File: 4ac1a04318b262f⋯.jpg (18.85 KB,480x360,4:3,16-02-01SIMP3.jpg)

>>124231

>recalcitrance

>fractiousness

>there

Okay, well, you got a point there. I try to stay away from Extra Bonus Point Scrabble words unless that's really what I need to make my point.

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 No.124256

>>124216

Yes, one of those obnoxious “sign up and I’ll send you not one, not two, but three free stories you can’t get any other way!” deals. I feel unclean every time I insert the link, but one lives as one must to live as one wants.

>>124224

You place your ellipses immediately after the words. The correct way looks like … this, with a full space between the two words. (It’s a little different with professional typesetting, but no one will care on an imageboard.) The difference in impact is dramatic and obvious; your way makes you sound either mentally retarded or off-the-wall pretentious; my way sounds like a natural conversational break, the kind one uses to fish for an idea. I could have as easily used two em dashes (the big —) to achieve a similar effect, and it would have attracted no notice. I used the ellipsis because it is softer; the em dash creates a break, like going over a speed bump; an ellipsis is more like a gentle dip in the road.

I can’t speak as to my creativity—I’ve never thought myself terribly creative, merely imaginative—but at least I don’t go around shitposting about techniques I don’t even understand.

Apropos my vocabulary—I used to use the (shorter) OED to find fun words, then make digital flash cards out of them and spend about fifteen minutes a day studying. It’s a bad habit I got into after reading Nabokov and David Foster Wallace back-to-back, and never wanted to look up a word again. I’ve slipped a bit, mostly because I realized words are useless if nobody bothers to look them up, but many of the bigger words stuck; it doesn’t occur to me that words like “insouciance” and “pococurante” (or “apropos,” for that matter, but I have an excuse for that one; it’s a common, quotidian expression in French, à propos, with essentially the same meaning as English “with regard to,” so I end up using it in English a bunch, too, and the same explanation probably applies to “quotidian,” which, again, in French, is very common, and just means “daily”) will look out of place until I go back and edit, because that’s the way my internal monologue really runs. I don’t grab for these words out of a thesaurus; I use them naturally, the way you’re supposed to.

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 No.124311

File: e8bb937e27fe127⋯.jpg (62.75 KB,600x1148,150:287,24e.jpg)

>>124256

I hang out with professional authors on the reg and you're actually a faggot even by my standards.

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 No.124321

File: fcc11f03dc309f0⋯.gif (912.49 KB,240x176,15:11,fcc11f03dc309f068dc2acb5bb….gif)

>>124256

>Apropos my vocabulary—I used to use the (shorter) OED to find fun words, then make digital flash cards out of them and spend about fifteen minutes a day studying. It’s a bad habit I got into after reading Nabokov and David Foster Wallace back-to-back, and never wanted to look up a word again. I’ve slipped a bit, mostly because I realized words are useless if nobody bothers to look them up, but many of the bigger words stuck; it doesn’t occur to me that words like “insouciance” and “pococurante” (or “apropos,” for that matter, but I have an excuse for that one; it’s a common, quotidian expression in French, à propos, with essentially the same meaning as English “with regard to,” so I end up using it in English a bunch, too, and the same explanation probably applies to “quotidian,” which, again, in French, is very common, and just means “daily”) will look out of place until I go back and edit, because that’s the way my internal monologue really runs. I don’t grab for these words out of a thesaurus; I use them naturally, the way you’re supposed to.

You sound insufferable.

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 No.124323

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 No.124347

>>124311

How so? Is it that I care about the quality of my work and actively attempt to sharpen my skills? Or is it that I didn't kowtow before the impotent pressure of invalid criticism, likely from the mind of a novice still possessed of a fervid adherence to the rules, which proscribe the use of multiple ellipses (among a million other quaint little dictates)? Or do you just not like my style? Or is it just in an attempt to get a rise out of me? I'm un-riseable. I read too much into everything to be bothered.

If you mean it's because of the mailing list thing, then, yeah, total faggotry. Guilty as charged.

>>124321

Only in the face of vapid criticism from people of vastly inferior skill. I might as well find myself accosted by an authorial chimpanzee as concern myself with the whims of bog-minded flag-hawkers. I prefer polite, terse discussion to rolling up my sleeves and talking shop at length, but the asinine commentary impelled me do so. I'd rather answer any further questions about how to break into the whole "sexting for cash" deal than hijack the thread with my myriad personal nuances.

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 No.124348

>>124347

I bet you're that self-diagnosed autist from that other thread. Your prose is identical.

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 No.124349

>>124311

Professional writers aren't actually bound by the rules of fully correct grammar. I forget the name of the rule, but long story short: you're a faggot

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 No.124350

>>124349

I never said nor implied they are.

I said that this particular author is a faggot, even compared to other faggot authors.

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 No.124368

Oh man. Just… be chill when talking with other people, author-chan. I hope your dream of supporting yourself with writing goes well.

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 No.124374

File: 21389ab64fa36d0⋯.jpg (17.12 KB,506x430,253:215,bitches aint shit but hoes….jpg)

>>124347

>Only in the face of vapid criticism from people of vastly inferior skill. I might as well find myself accosted by an authorial chimpanzee as concern myself with the whims of bog-minded flag-hawkers.

Okay, now you sound really fucking insufferable. Like, the greasy nerd you were forced to partner with in science class because you were the only one who wouldn't beat him up. He'd talk about his application for Mensa and his extra-credit assignments and what a breezy lunchtime read Ulysses was and you'd have to resist the urge to throttle him with the gas hose of the bunsen burner.

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 No.149925

>>122558

>actually so poor I considered this the moment I read it

I don't think I can do this. I can't commit mortal sins for money, even if I do it for enjoyment…

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 No.149941

>>149925

You can always do it for games

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 No.149957

File: 5c895a074dca351⋯.png (405.48 KB,809x561,809:561,Vs659H1.png)

I didn't bother to read this thread or even OP's entire post but I'm going to admit that I love this kind of thing.

As something of an online 'slut' that's basically into ERP because I love getting people off and having them tell me about it, getting money for it is even more exciting - even if it's just a couple bucks, it makes me feel really dirty in a really, really good way. I've accepted money and gifts for it a few times. It's bad, and I never ask people to pay me in any way, but there it is.

The only problem is that sometimes when a guy pays you, he thinks he owns you. Kinda hot, but it can cause problems and some uncomfortable situations.

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 No.149967

>>149957

>sometimes when a guy pays you, he thinks he owns you.

Tbh I would find it even more hilarious to string along.

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 No.149968

>>149967

Eh, it's funny when you look back, but at the moment they're harassing you for your 'services', trying to guilt you and acting like you're at their beck and call, it's all a little frustrating. It's like they feel cheated buying a product that doesn't work and forgetting there's a person there. Being treated as an object is also fucking hot, but I have to draw a line somewhere.

Thankfully it's only specific guys, and blocking someone is easy.

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 No.149970

>>149968

> and blocking someone is easy.

Precisely why that behaviour would elicit only laughter from me rather triggering any form of emotional distress they would be trying to get.

>Being treated as an object is also fucking hot, but I have to draw a line somewhere.

Yeah, I keep that to in-RP kinks though.

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 No.149971

>>149941

Even more so if it's the costumer who decided on the game, implying that he is making an order on the cumdumpster casts in it, to be portrayed for him, right?

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 No.149979

Like…. fuck the person thinking they own you. Where's that financial domination shit and how do I get in on it. I'm sure I'd have a bunch of misconceptions or the like, but just getting to separate fools from their money irl or something? Why the fuck not.

If I have to play with shitters. I'd rather be paid for it.

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 No.155537

>>149979

Financial domination in the real world requires being a woman (good FUCKING LUCK being a findom mdom). So, slice off your penis and get back to me.

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 No.155921

I strongly feel like the best way to go about getting cash is by exploiting autistic fanbases, but I don't want to waste my time trying to chuck my services at them and fail. I think that unless you're asking for steam games, most neckbeards would feel exploited and thus turned off. What group of shitters on f-list would you say is the most willing to part with their cash?

I think that going after subs would be a good start, because there are certain groups of subs that are especially thirsty and desperate for decent play. I figure that I'll at least get a couple of people willing to pay to typefuck me if I make some mommydom that's into stuff like MtF gender transformation, SS, etc. and can write a coherent sentence. I feel like I must find some way to go further with this autism if I really want to hit the sweet spot, though.

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 No.155974

>>155537

Men can findom other men have fun gayboi

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 No.155980

File: 27f2d6df9ceed05⋯.gif (2.71 MB,515x479,515:479,1495076926315.gif)

How does findom even work? I feel like I'd just feel like a huge retard if I went up to some sub like "lmao give me money shitwad" and spiced it up with a bunch of femdom degradation talk. I'm confident enough in my skills to dom a guy, but a sub just chucking money at me feels too good to be true. Where do you guys even find these autists?

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 No.156414

>>155974

msubs are 90% straight or hetflex

men can findom if they take HRT

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 No.156434

>>155980

>not getting reverse findommed by people who know you're too proud to want their money but too poor to give it back and they get off on watching you get upset

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 No.156439

>>156414

A niche of alphamale on sissysub also exists.

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 No.156446

In about two years of typefucking in and around a hypnosis chat site, i've made a grand total of fifteen bucks off it. No idea how "real" it was for them, especially given that to be hypnotised OOC you've got to have some level of IC to actually go under and all that jazz, but eh.

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 No.156564

>>156439

Sure, as with all fetishes, but the pool just ain't big enough to generate profit.

Men are better off becoming juggalos to rich cougars.

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 No.159235

File: a92eb8c8a8e4fe5⋯.jpg (220.02 KB,2048x1365,2048:1365,icp.jpg)

>>156564

>Men are better off becoming juggalos

Nice try, clownification fetishist.

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 No.173469

>>155980

>Where do you guys even find these autists?

They're anywhere subs can be found really.

However, it's illegal for two reasons: prostitution and fraud.

It's too good to be true. If they find out you're a guy, you're totally busted.

>>156434

>Reverse findom

How do I get into this?

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 No.173473

File: bee57de3a121279⋯.jpg (95.6 KB,680x961,680:961,84d.jpg)

At best, I think you could get commissions writing stories that cater to the exact fetishes someone wants, probably including their character, but otherwise, getting paid to typefuck seems tricky. All your customers will be lazy shitters who feel entitled to the best possible work you can muster, no matter how little effort they put in. Taking gifts isn't always bad, but I'm not keen on the idea of someone else getting your address and personal information. Only other option I can think is to add a tip-jar, like a paypal or ko-fi type thing on your profile, so if someone really likes what you do, they can throw you a few bucks.

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 No.173646

File: d32032f54113428⋯.jpg (250.51 KB,2000x820,100:41,proudcommunist 1.jpg)

It works, even better when you find someone that is part of some big political party

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