No.8003 [View All]
So i've been a perverted suicidal child since i can remember, i already wanted to be dead in primary school, i just played vidya and watched tv all day. I didn't have a true friend until middle school, and just like most people that spend a good part of their life as loners, i immediately mistook our friendship for a chance to have a relationship. We did, it was very spontaneous, somehow we were already touching each other the first week, she gave me oral and even left a hickey on my neck. If i had to recall my favorite moments with her it would be her telling me the things i made her feel, ever since then no one told me their heartbeat increases when they are near me, or that if it wasn't for me she would have killed herself.
Looking back at it, i can see why she didn't want to talk to me anymore, hell i wouldn't talk to me at that age. I was way too much focused on her, i literally couldn't really do anything, i just wanted to be with her all the time, i have never loved my family. Afterwards i couldn't hold friendships for any longer than a month, then i became bored and didn't feel like going. She hurt me so bad sometimes, and i enjoyed being berated, it's a strange feeling to cry for how cruel she was to me sometimes. She once pretended she wanted to be back with me, then next day told me it was just a test because her psychology professor told her boys are more likely to say yes to a relationship. She would tease me, she would tell me about a guy who wanted to have sex with her, she probably did. We stop and start talking from time to time, each time she is more distant to me, she is nothing like she used to be, which is expected, neither am i. She once even offered sex to me, she is quite aware that she causes me great pain, and she was having personal problems so i guess she wanted to make me happy. I didn't want to, i mean i did want to have sex with her, but it felt wrong. Anyway, even though i said yes, she told me she wasn't virgin and i simply told her i didn't want to because i am a fucking idiot. It wasn't because she was not "pure" or any of that bullshit, i just wanted my first time with her to be also her first time, an experience, and even though i still regret it i feel it was for the best to not have that be our last encounter.
Finally, i started following her on instagram again, i'm waiting for her to notice, just another attempt, just another failure.
I chose Anne Frank because i think she's really cute, my ex didn't look like her, but i did have a crush on her friend who did look like Anne, it gave me a strange fetish for girls that look like her.
I'll leave you a nice album, it has the best opening i've ever heard https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oZer3XVXyd0
____________________________
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No.8031
>>8030
This video looks like it was tailor made for /doomer/
>who do you see playing Anne Frank?
<… maybe if it was done earlier, Winona Ryder, she would've been perfect…
>Now, do goblins hate Winona Ryder?
<I think if they hated me, they would probably hate her too
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No.8038
>>8003
Why not kill yourself then faggot?
If you need it I can personaly show you how to tie the rope OP
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No.8039
>>8038
Rope is the second method i'll take if everything goes to shit, first it's jumping from the roof of my house which isn't very tall anyway
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No.8043
>>8039
Just make the cartel angry by stealing some drugs or something, I'm more than sure they will be happy to help you with your "life issues". Seriously though, digging up the skeleton of the past, i mean that bitch who treated you as shit, better find something else to do.
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No.8044
>>8039
>first it's jumping from the roof of my house which isn't very tall anyway
lol. You're going to break your skull, and live the rest of your life as a retarded vegetable. In other words, you're one bad fall away from turning into a /bloomer/ anon. Don do it wrong fren. I hear suffocation methods are pretty clean tho. For example, you do know that a good choke hold will knock you out in 2 seconds, right? There's a popular method of suicide (that CNN travelling cook guy did it for example) that involves asphyxiation and a WELL PLACED rope. In fact, people have accidentally died from sexual asphyxiation methods where you beat your meat while strangling yourself. You basically don't even notice when you die (LMAO). I wouldn't recommend suicide tho, mainly because hookers and hard drugs are actually very fulfilling. Why choose to kill yourself now when you can kill yourself later, amirite?
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No.8045
>>8044
Suspension hanging was exactly the method i was going to use, tested the rope around my neck for a few seconds and the sensation scared the shit out of me, i don't know if i can do it.
>>8043
I live in a relatively safe state, i once heard a police persecution with gunshots outside my house one time and that's all.
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No.8063
One of my exes looked a bit like Anne. Seeing Anne's picture always makes me die a bit inside
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No.8065
I'm subbed to Voodoo Moon btw, good taste OP
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No.8067
>>8063
>>8065
Thanks, my headphones just broke when i tried to listen the album a few minutes ago.
And regarding Anne, i have kind of built a cult around her image, i don't think i'm trans but if i could change my aspect i wouldn't mind looking like her, it's fucking weird.
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No.8071
>>8044
>For example, you do know that a good choke hold will knock you out in 2 seconds, right?
How tf do you do this, though?
I tried for over a minute, got some blurry vision but nothing else.
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No.8072
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No.8083
>>8067
ok
>And regarding Anne, i have kind of built a cult around her image
not ok
>i don't think i'm trans but if i could change my aspect i wouldn't mind looking like her, it's fucking weird.
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No.8084
though you know what his channel is named after right? sidenote: pre-La Sexcorcisto White Zombie. their best era, when they were a metallic thrashy noise rock band.
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No.8085
>>8084
Not really, i just watch the channel for the HQ sound Resident albums.
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No.8086
>>8085
oh there's a lot of gold there.
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No.8099
>>8003
>i immediately mistook our friendship for a chance to have a relationship
I am sorry for you anon. you must have had a life without any love. Be it from parents or from "girlfriends". If it makes you feel better, I am same. I mistake every form of kindness as something with greater meaning when in fact it was just other people being polite. And over the years I noticed a desire to feel like I am needed.
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No.8101
>>8099
I didn't realize it until years later but my teacher told me about this exact same issue when i was in primary school, she told me of a friend of his who never made friends until he worked as a teacher, he ended up marrying the first girl he met at work. My ex herself was unwilling to start dating for the same reason, she said she did love me, but was afraid i may be the one who was mistaking friendship for love.
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No.8122
>>8101
Personally, I'm not judging you since I'm possessed by one girl, my first love, which got heartbroken by me being dumb and looking for other girls. If we would meet today, I would probably fall on my ass like toddler, I'm just telling you, don't do the same mistake being weak as I am. Letting people from the past go is very hard thing to do but you have to protect yourself because nobody else will. You won't step twice in the same river; or however that saying goes.
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No.8126
>>8122
I aborted the plan to talk to her again yesterday, i think i can forget, now i need to make friends and have sex at least once.
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No.8128
>>8126
>now i need to make friends and have sex at least once
I'm sure most men have been there. Having sex for the first time is definitely a life-changer. Highly recommend.
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No.8131
>>8126
Good luck, but be aware building friendships takes time.
I can safely say I have 3 true friends and all of them took at least 4 years to get to the point where I could say it with confidence.
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No.8158
>>8003
it must suck to be mexican. im glad im not a mexican.
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No.8179
>>8158
i wish i lived in mexico
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No.8181
>>8158
Eh it's alright i guess, i'm not going to say i didn't have chances for good education, i did and i messed up with them, right now i could be something great. I live in supposedly the most "americanized" state too, there's some where people get lynched for false accusations and get literally set on fire.
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No.8219
>>8122
>my first love
I think I already told you but mine is also haunting me. kind of. Pretty much all crushes I had after her had something resembling the first one. Be it her eyes, her cheeks or her necklace or her dreamy vibes. I am not sure if this is just my type my sister told me or if I am seeking the first girl in other girls what I believe
>>8101
at least he found love. this is the best opiate in this shitty world. you can at least delude yourself every day that life has meaning and your family needs you. when you are a useless meatball and waste of oxygen this is not possible anymore
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No.8244
>>8219
>I think I already told you but mine is also haunting me.
I think we talked about this in other thread I just don't know which thread it was. You got that right, I don't know either why my next crushes and gfs were so similar to her by looks or certain behavioral traits. I don't know what is my type though, I just know she was (at that time) perfect. And the ridiculous part is this: we were basically seeing each other for many years since she was my classmate and I thought I had no feelings to her. After years I realized I was often cringy because subconsciously I tried to get her attention. Then we weren't seeing each other for another 4 years, she found herself a bf and i felt nothing - that's what I thought. Later again, I realized I was fucking jealous and I hated that motherfucker, not because he was imbecile but because he had her. I should stop doing psychoanalysis on myself because it's not bringing anything useful to my life. Luckily my feelings towards anyone and anything over the years degraded into void so at this point I'm at least glad I'm not pathetic enough to still want her.
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No.8248
>>8072
Sorry to reply late -
Not really painful, but uncomfortable. Instructions said I'd pass out in like 70 seconds. What I did was tie a rope around a sturdy branch with a heavy weight on one end so it wouldn't slip, partial suspension. Mild discomfort from the pressure… it only became painful after I failed it the first time (way more than 70 seconds and, like I said, nothing but blurs) and repeated attempts shortly thereafter resulted in some neck pain.
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No.8270
>>8181
what state is that?
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No.8286
>>8270
Nuevo León, pretty good
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No.8289
Jeff Mangum, is that you?
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No.8301
>>8289
My story is pretty different from his tbh, he was inspired by her diary, i'm inspired cuz she cute
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No.8305
>>8244
BO, what can I say. I was in love with mine in the early 2000s. In 2007 we graduated from junior high and I never saw her again. I also never stalked her or tried to find her on the internet. She probably even married and took another surname so I might not even be able to find her even if I wanted. Anyways, It is best to keep her in memory how I liked her back then. For me, my girl was also perfect. Literally perfect in every sense. Even liked the same sports and videgames I liked. For the other boys she was just good looking. To them everything else about her was unimportant.
>my type
well the question is, is it just your type or are you trying to find substitutes for the real deal. Because if you are doing the latter it is not fair for the girls. Nobody should be a substitute. This is why I could never date. Even if I had someone I liked, it would probably be because she reminds me of the first girl and I would hate myself for it.
I mean even Leonardo di Caprio has his type blonde supermodels. If you prefer some type it probably is not a crime.
In any case I hope you had a beautiful time with her. When you remember her, try to focus on the good times and have a smile in your face.
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No.8325
>>8305
>I also never stalked her or tried to find her on the internet.
Yes me neither but since we both came from same town, we were bumping to each other occasionally, we had same friends so I knew about her and she about me even if we wouldn't want to.
>Anyways, It is best to keep her in memory how I liked her back then.
Big words of truth.
>Because if you are doing the latter it is not fair for the girls.
I'm not trying to do anything to be honest. I accept people as they are and either we find something common or we don't. I don't force friendships or relationships, that's just waste of energy.
>Even if I had someone I liked, it would probably be because she reminds me of the first girl and I would hate myself for it.
Is it that big of a deal though? If she reminds you your first but you still love her for what she is then it shouldn't do any damage if you avoid comparing her to your first.
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No.8403
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No.8405
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No.8437
>>8405
i guess being a mexican you wouldnt care that her story is a hoax.
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No.8449
>>8437
i would care since i developed a weird connection to her entire being, thankfully she isn't a hoax anyway
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No.8542
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No.8559
>>8542
not really niga diga
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No.8562
>>8559
hate to dogpile on you, but he's right, the Anne Frank diary is a known forgery and hoax. Enjoy the story if you like, lots of fiction is enjoyable, but don't mistake it for historical fact.
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No.8563
>>8562
good i don't come here to get my entire worldview from you guys
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No.8828
>>8563
>The latest entries of her diary were written in ball point pen by her father who profited by publishing fiction.
Look up when ball point pens were invented then cross reference with the date of those entries.
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No.8830
>>8563
That's why you fail every time. Let the cruel reality eat you alive my friend.
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No.8835
>>8828
https://www.reddit.com/r/badhistory/comments/5jzl95/anne_franks_diary_is_a_fraud_a_look_at_anne_frank/
>>8830
Believe me, ever since i became more and more involved in politics my mental state couldn't be shittier, all the self esteem that i lost for lacking friends and a gf are now anger at this shit world. A victim of the holocaust being fake would be the least of my problems.
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No.17880
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No.17899
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No.17916
>>17899
…and she inspired the best indie pop album of the 90s.
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No.17917
>>17916
I still haven't listened to the entire album, i liked the two i've heard.
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No.25881
If nothing else, I'll always hate the Nazis for killing this beautiful little girl. It's the one thing between me and going full fashwave /pol/ autist.
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No.25890
>>25881
>imblying
whad a fuggin tap drinker
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